


Babe, I'm Here Again

by SinceYouAskedMeForATaleOf



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Almost Safe Sex, Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Babies, Ben Solo Becomes Kylo Ren, Bigotry & Prejudice, Blow Jobs, Bottom Alpha, Breastfeeding, Bruises, Cancer, Characters play D&D, Childbirth, Come Inflation, Comfort Food, Condoms, Confusion, Cravings, Discussion of Abortion, Fake Science, Family Reunions, Fast Food, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Food, Food Issues, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Graphic Description, Happy Ending, I'm Back On My Nonsense, Idiots in Love, Illnesses, In-Laws, Injury, Innocence, Kink Negotiation, Knotting, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Leukemia, Life Isn't Fair Armitage Hux, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Major Illness, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Mild Blood, Minor Phasma/Unamo, Minor R2-D2/C-3PO, Minor Rose Tico/Kaydel Ko Connix, Minor Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker, Morning Sickness, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Sex Positions, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious, Omega Armitage Hux, Omega Verse, Omega Verse Gender Politics, One Big Happy Family, Parenthood, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Armitage Hux, Recovery, Rey Skywalker, Secretly a Virgin, Separations, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Stupidity, Switching, Twins, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unsafe Sex, Vomiting, Weird Biology, Young Rey, benarmie, just this once, omega biology, ultrasound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:43:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 116,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinceYouAskedMeForATaleOf/pseuds/SinceYouAskedMeForATaleOf
Summary: It's 2008 and graduate student Armitage Hux has no idea why hes still hanging out with that nerd of a second year Ben Solo. Surely he had better things to do that sit around planning Dungeons & Dragons adventures with this not-at-all-attractive Alpha who he definitely doesn't think about constantly.A tale of illness, heartbreak, unexpected gifts, new beginnings, and rediscovery. Featuring two idiots who don't realise how much they love each other until its almost too late.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solohux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/gifts).



> This is ABO verse so any medically questionable things can be blamed on that. Any Dungeons & Dragons inaccuracies are entirely my fault.

Armitage couldn't believe he’d ended up in this nerd’s room on a Friday night, again.

Not that he had anywhere better to be, but wasn’t that just the point- he  _ should _ have somewhere, anywhere, better to be than this! At 25 he’s an Omega in his prime, he should be out at an Alpha bar finding a mate, not holed up in a room that smells faintly of socks strategizing the next move in a Dungeons & Dragons game he hadn’t even wanted to join in the first place. 

Actually, to be entirely honest Armitage had never even been on a proper date. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself in an Alpha bar even if he  _ did _ like socialising, which he didn’t. If he wasn’t sitting here with Ben he’d be in his own room working on his thesis.

Which he really should be doing. He’d gotten very little written so far this term. Between his teaching duties, his freelance writing, and the frequent evenings spent with Ben, Armitage had barely had any time to work on his own things.

Of course being with Ben was entirely voluntary- no, wait, he wasn’t  _ with _ Ben, he was spending time in Ben’s presence, he’d never  _ date  _ Ben, not that Ben had asked, oh god, no, Armitage, stop it! Being here was entirely his choice. It just seemed that whenever he was offered a choice between Ben and anything else Armitage’s brain chose Ben every time. 

He really didn’t want to think about it... which was probably why he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Stupid brain.

“I still think you should spend the next session casting ‘Simulacrum’...” Ben said. 

He had the D&D handbook balanced across his knobbly knees and a protein shake in each hand. He was doing well in the university rugby team, but he was still trying to bulk up- the rest of the team always teased him that he didn’t have the muscle to go with his height. Armitage didn’t think he needed it, not that he really knew anything- he hadn’t played a sport in nearly a decade. 

Ben shuffled up a little as Armitage joined him on the bed to peer at the book.

“It’s a twelve hour spell,” Armitage sighed. “I might as well not just show up for the whole session.”

“But then you won’t get to watch me play.” Ben tried to pout at him.

“Oh no, what a terrible loss.”

“You’re an asshole, Armie,” Ben said with a rare grin. “I guess I could bring a note with me ‘dear Knights of Ren-’”

Armitage cut him off. “We’re not calling the party that. Your Teifling Paladin is the only fighter amongst us- it’s inaccurate as well as awful.”

Ben gave him the finger.

“It’s meant to be ironic.” He said. “Ok, fine! ‘Dear Unnamed Party, I have sequestered myself in my hovel to cast Simulacrum without the distraction of Kylo’s sexy abs, sincerely Techie.’ How does that sound?”

“Techie does not fancy your character, he’s not a xenophile.” Armitage said with the tone of a man going over the same argument for the hundredth time. “Well done on using ‘sequestered’ in a sentence though.”

“Gee thanks!” Ben put one of his drinks on the floor before he clutched his heart dramatically and tipped over on the bed. “Thank you, oh wise and patronising Englishman for teaching me, a mere American, to speak English more good!”

Armitage rolled his eyes and didn’t raise to the bait, not least because the thin sliver of Ben’s pale midriff that the pose exposed had him frozen to the spot. 

Disappointed at the lack of reaction Ben moved his hand to his forehead, pulling his shirt up even further. He didn’t have a six pack. The slight layer of puppy fat still lingering over his muscles drew Armitage’s eye more than muscles ever would have done. 

“Stop it!” Armitage said more to himself than to Ben.

“Spoilsport.”

“You’ve lived here since you were four. You speak English just as well as any other idiot.”

“Hmm. I could still do with some proofreading on that latest essay though…” Ben batted his eyelashes.

“You do remember that I know fuck all about medieval warfare, right?” Armitage asked as he retrieved the abandoned protein shake from the floor and took a sip. “Just so we’re clear on this.” 

Artificial strawberry filled his senses. He absolutely didn’t think about Ben tasting like that right now.

“I said proofreading, not fact checking. Hey, I know, you can do it while I’m at D&D!”

“Oh wow,” Armitage replied, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. “Thanks, that’s totally how I want to spend my Sunday night.”

* * *

Armitage sat at a small table in the corner of the Student Union, three red pens aligned with the edge of Ben’s essay, half a pint of terrible beer beside him, and his gaze fixed on the back of Ben’s head where he sat at the D&D table.

Oh how he hated that man.

They’d first run into one another at a Freshers Week Sci-Fi Society social two years earlier. Armitage had been the society’s treasurer back then, while Ben had been a new student eager to make friends. Well no, that wasn’t strictly true. Ben had actually been attracted by the display of fake weaponry the LARP contingent had brought to the meeting. Making friend was more of the secondary consideration. Which was good, because Ben had been terrible at making friends.

Ben was… weird. 

That  _ was  _ pretty much a given for their demographic, but Ben was odd even by their own strange standards. 

Intense was probably the word. He played every sport Armitage had ever heard of and some he hadn’t, he spoke three languages, he claimed all kinds of wild things like having a pilots licence and his mum being a politician, but he was also painfully awkward. He had a razor sharp wit but he seemed to always be putting his foot in it with people he actually liked. It was painful to watch.

The only thing he had going in his favour was his appearance- he was big but in a way that spoke of as-yet-unfulfilled potential, like a foal or a baby giraffe or something. It made people a little more tolerant than they might normally have been. Like dealing with a sweet but untrained puppy.

Armitage had hated him immediately.

Of course, Armitage hated  _ everyone _ , but there was a special place in his black heart for adorable Alphas that could wrap anyone around their little fingers. Alphas had enough power as it was without being cute too.

Unfortunately, just as he’d reached that particular conclusion, the guy running an introductory game of Dungeons & Dragons had dragged both Ben and Armitage over to make up the numbers.

Within half an hour they were playing as a perfectly balanced two man unit. It was strange. They didn’t have much in common on the face of it but they gelled well together. Even though Ben called him Armie all the time, which was usually a hanging offence in Armitage’s book.

When the Dungeon Master suggested a regular weekly game Ben had volunteered them both immediately. 

At first Armitage had tried to resist. He had better things to do with his weekends. He’d already invested hundreds of pounds into his Magic: The Gathering cards - he didn’t need another hobby. He wasn’t an Omega to be bossed around by Alphas. 

Then Ben had said please and the rest was history. 

And wasn’t that just the absolute worst?

The regular Dungeons & Dragons sessions had turned into the two of them spending their evenings at one pub or another, and somehow  _ that _ had progressed to long days studying together in the library. There was no overlap between their subjects, but it was nice to sit side by side at a table in a quiet corner and just work. 

Ben was a fidget but Armitage didn’t mind- it was helpful as a teacher to deal with minor irritations, and Ben’s intense way of listening was great for boosting his confidence. When he talked to Ben it felt like someone really cared about what he had to say, even if Ben was often an arse about it. 

Meanwhile Ben benefited from Armitage’s organisational skills. At this point he’d become Ben’s human diary, like some kind of unpaid assistant, but knowing where Ben should be gave Armitage a place to be. He spent most nights trying not to think about why he liked that so much. 

He spent too many of his nights trying not to think about a lot of things. 

Like the fact that he now watched live sports after a lifetime of disinterest just because Ben was playing. Or that he let Ben call him ‘Armie’ which was a horror that had gained previous offenders his eternal scorn.

No doubt tonight he would be trying to not to think about the fact that he was sitting here editing this stupid fucking essay while Ben played with the rest of their friends. Yes, casting the spell was the right move, and he didn’t need to sit in on the session when he couldn’t take part in the combat but, really, why was he doing  _ this _ ?

Across the room Ben turned in his seat to wink at him.

Armitage stuck out his tongue.

“I have a missive here!” Ben said in his weirdly distorted ‘Kylo’ voice, loud enough for his words to carry across the room even as he turned back to face the table. “From our wizard! ‘Dear beloved Kylo, how I have missed your impressive muscles and…’”

“OI!” Armitage shouted, cutting off what was probably going to be several minutes of teasing filth. When Ben twisted around to look at him again, he raised the essay in both hands, fingers poised as if to tear the pages in half.

“Urgh, fine,” ‘Kylo’ sighed. “He’s not here, he’s making a magical doppelganger… anyway...” 

* * *

“You wouldn’t really have ripped it up, would you?” Ben asked as they walked across the mostly empty midnight campus. His hands were jammed into his pockets which really didn’t help his already awkward bow legged gait. It was weird. Ben always seemed to keep his hands in his pockets whenever they were walking.

A strange habit, but even stranger that Armitage would notice. Why should he care where Ben’s hands were?

“See, I’m not going to answer that question, Ben, because then the threat might not work the next time I need to use it,” Armitage replied. The smile he gave the slightly taller Alpha wasn’t entirely nice. 

Ben just laughed. 

“Who says there’ll be a next time?” 

“Last year you barely got passing marks on the two essays I didn’t check for you.”

“Maybe I’ve been practicing my writing skills this summer, you don’t know!”

That stung a little. No, Armitage didn’t know what Ben did during the summer. 

As an undergraduate he’d gone home to do god knows what, while Armitage stayed in his flat trying to earn enough money to cover the weeks of rent his father refused to pay. 

Brendol wanted Armitage at home with him. Not because he missed his son but because he saw his Omega progeny as a resource to be spent. If he went home for the summer it’d be endless garden parties being used as a bargaining chip in business deals with the fathers of Alphas with no chins and fewer manners. His father didn’t like him staying in the city but with Armitage’s lecturers on side Brendol didn’t bother to argue much. God knew what would have when he finally got his PhD. Another thing not to think about.

“... so  _ that’s _ when Uncle Chewie told the police officer to kiss his ass, but the dude couldn’t understand him with the speech impediment so they just let dad and him off with a warning. Again.” Ben said, apparently finishing another bizarre anecdote that Armitage had missed thanks to his own brooding.

“Sorry, what?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Hey, I am interested, I just… got a lot on my mind. Start over.”

“So, there we were on I-70 doing 110mph just outside of Denver…” 

This time Armitage did his best to listen, even if the story was almost certainly bullshit, but in the end all he could really focus on was the way Ben’s face seemed to come to life when he talked. He had such expressive features. His lips alone were…

Armitage collided with a wall he hadn’t noticed. Because it was dark. Not because he was staring at Ben’s lips. It was midnight. The fact that there was a street lamp right there meant nothing. 

“I’ll tell you later,” Ben laughed, “come on, let’s get you home in one piece.”

* * *

The phone rang for the fourth time in ten minutes, the vibrations making it clatter across the bathroom floor with so much noise it almost drowned out the tinny rendition of Vivaldi’s Autumn that Armitage used as a ringtone. It was a dreadful noise.

Everything was a dreadful right now. 

Armitage pressed his face more firmly against the cold tiles and cursed his body for doing this to him. He knew he should be grateful that his breakthrough heats only lasted a day. He knew he should thank the universe that it was a weekend so he wasn’t missing any classes but he’d much rather not go have to through this at all. 

His housemates never dealt with this. Dopheld was the perfect Omega who’s suppressants worked just as they should so he hadn’t had a heat in over a decade, and Thanisson had some mysterious Beta sugar daddy to deal with his heats. Armitage hated them both right now. 

All he had to get him through was his hands and the vibrator he’d managed to grab before he locked himself in the bathroom. 

Beside him the phone began to ring for a fifth time. Armitage was seriously tempted to shove the whole thing down his briefs to kill two birds with one stone- the noise would be muffled and the vibrations might take the edge off for five fucking minutes. 

Then again, the phone had cost way more than the vibe. 

By the time he’d thought to answer it the ringing had already stopped. 

Five missed calls, all from Ben Solo.

He stared at the screen through a haze of unfocused lust and tried to work out why Ben was calling him. Ben hadn’t suddenly developed a psychic link had he? 

He didn’t somehow know Armitage had been thinking about him for the last few overheated and underfucked hours, did he?

In the street below a drunken idiot shouted something vaguely sports related.

Shit.

It was match day.

The phone started ringing again.

He answered it without thinking, his body clearly excited to talk to the object of his fantasies even though his brain cringed at the sultry, heat ravaged way he said “Hello?” 

“Dude, Armie, are sick? You sound like Tom Waits!”

Armitage scrubbed a hand over his face. Thank god the man was so oblivious, he could not have dealt with the teasing if he’d worked out what was really going on. 

“Urgh,” he groaned, staring at the mess of sweat on his fingers for a moment before he remembered he was on the phone. “Yeah... I’m sick. Sorry I’m gonna miss your match.”

“Do you need me to come look after you?” Ben’s voice was distressingly earnest. 

It took every ounce of strength Armitage had to resist the urge to say ‘yes please’. Even his fucking knees had betrayed him and spread themselves.

“No, no I don’t want to make you sick too.” He managed through gritted teeth. 

Over the last year of hanging out Ben had never made any kind of move, and he didn’t seem to be interested in men, so dragging him into this would just be really unfair. Yes, it was ‘common knowledge’ that Alphas couldn’t resist Omegas in heat, but that didn’t mean Armitage could take advantage of his friend just to get off. He’d probably never seen him again if he did that. It wasn’t worth the risk.

“Are you sure?”

He was but his body wasn’t and every word Ben said was getting him closer to the edge again. He’d only just come twenty minutes ago. This month was hell.

“Yeah, have a good game.” He said, reaching quitely for the vibe he’d abandoned on the towel next to him. “Kick some arse.”

“Sure,” Ben’s voice was far too soft to be legal, “You look after yourself.”

“Oh, I will,” Armitage promised. He was easing the vibe back into himself before Ben had even hung up the call. He’d feel bad about that later. For now he’d just imagine the sound of Ben’s breathing.

* * *

“Good morning!”

“Fuck off.”

Dopheld gave him the same look of heartbroken offence that usually accompanied their pre-coffee morning conversations, but for once he just sipped his tea instead of saying anything.

Sadly their other housemate wasn’t quite so well mannered.

“Rough one?” Thanisson asked from behind a slice of toast covered in too much chocolate. His expression could have been called smug if he didn’t always look like that.

“Yeah. You could say that.” Armitage sighed, peering into the cutlery drawer after failing to find the coffee anywhere else. He gave up and grabbed a can of Monster instead. “Not that anyone asked you.”

“You need to get yourself fucked,” Thanisson went on. “Old man like you, you’ll die of heat sickness one of these days.”

“And you can fuck off as well.” Armitage didn’t even bother to look at him as he gave him the finger and headed out of the house.

“Just saying,” Thanisson called after him. “I don’t want to find you dead in your room one day from a serious cock deficiency!”

The door slammed shut on his laughter. Armitage wished it had slammed on his face. What a prick. 

He pulled up the collar of his coat, hoping to hide his pallor from the world, and trotted down the path as best he could on stiff legs and sore muscles.

Their dilapidated Edwardian house overlooked the river on one side and the main shopping district on the other. It was a desirable location on paper that attracted plenty of students who didn’t know how to look up things like ‘flood zones’. 

For now the river was behaving itself. The scenic path right outside the door was busy with joggers, dog walkers, idiots on push bikes, and one Ben Solo wearing short shorts and a tank top that left very little to Armitage’s overactive imagination.

No one should be faced with a sight like that after two solid days of masturbating. He had to stop and grab the gatepost to keep upright over the wave of tired cramping through his abdomen. It wasn’t fucking fair.

How dare Ben dress like that in fucking November?

Feeling flustered Armitage cracked the tab on the can of energy drink to cover his hesitation. Half of it went down his throat without touching the sides. 

“What the fuck do you want?” He asked once he felt in better command of himself. Yes, that was better.

“Just checking you weren’t dead,” Ben said, stretching casually up, revealing a soft belly and a shockingly dark footprint over his hip. “You missed D&D.”

The sentence ‘yeah I missed Dungeons & Dragons because I was afraid I’d climb in your lap while we were supposed to be fighting orcs’ didn’t actually come out of his mouth but it was a close run thing.

“Forget about me, what the fuck happened to you?” 

“What?” Ben glanced down at himself as Armitage pointed, but his clothes had returned to their original position. 

“That!” Armitage said, pulling up the hem of his shirt without thinking. 

Much to Armitage’s horror Ben jumped back. 

“Shit, sorry,” Armitage muttered, hiding behind his can again to cover his blush. What had he been thinking?

Ben turned away, one hand rubbing at his mouth like the contact had nauseated him, but after a moment he lifted his shirt and bent awkwardly to look at his own abdomen.

“Wow, thats a good one.” He laughed as he smoothed his clothes back into place. “I must have gotten kicked in the scrum. It happens.”

“Who the fuck were you playing against? A team of fucking rhinos?”

“Its a contact sport, Armie, the clue is in the name. Don’t worry about it. Now, are you walking up to the campus with me or not?” Ben offered his arm like a regency dandy.

Even if Armitage wanted to take it, he knew from Ben’s reaction to the brief touch to his belly that the contact wouldn’t really be appreciated. So he gave him the finger instead. Better to stick with the status quo than risk scaring him away.

* * *

Armitage didn’t think about the bruise on Ben’s side again for a few weeks.

He tried not to think about any part of Ben’s body at all- a battle he’d never win- but in this case he was sure that Ben was right. It was just a consequence of the game. 

Besides it was winter. Heating was expensive and the university seemed to be run by Ebenezer Scrooge. Unless he happened to see Ben during one of his morning jogs he rarely saw him wearing anything other than jeans and an oversized jumper. 

Except on match day. 

It rained heavily before the next two matches he attended. The pitch turned to a sea of mud that resulted in some very titillating rounds of wrestling amongst the players and completely hid Ben’s skin from view. 

Then the third match fell on a crisp frosty day lit by brilliant winter sun that seemed to make Ben glow like a marble statue of a Greek god. A statue that had been splashed with purple and grey paint.

When someone in the scrum dragged Ben’s shirt over his head Armitage actually gasped out loud, much to the amusement of the people in the seats nearby who didn’t understand. They thought he was upset by the play. 

Ben was covered in bruises. 

The footprint of a few weeks ago was gone but there were clear handprints and lines that looked like scratch marks across his back. 

In the moment his brain reached for a connection and completely missed the point. Jealousy bubbled up in Armitage’s belly at the sight, a hot sickly feeling that filled him with shame. 

Of course Ben had every right to find someone- he’d never shown an interest in Armitage but that didn’t mean he had to be celibate. The bruising seemed excessive but maybe Ben liked it rough. 

Armitage bit his lip. He should be a good friend. He vowed to ask Ben once if everything was okay with whoever she - or maybe he - was so Ben would know he had support if he needed it and then he’d drop it. 

The university’s team won but Armitage could barely find it in his heart to cheer. Even when Ben gave him a hurt look as he headed to the changing rooms. 

Maybe Ben should ask the person who’d done that to his back to come to all his matches from now on.

* * *

The public bar was packed with rugby idiots.

That was Armitage’s excuse for sneaking out to sit at one of the picnic benches in the beer garden with a borrowed cigarette.

He didn’t usually smoke, but keeping the damn thing lit was another good reason for sitting hunched up in his coat with his back turned to the pub and to the wind. 

He wasn’t sulking. 

That was a lie.

“Hey,” Ben said as he dropped heavily onto the bench beside him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” Ben laughed and elbowed him in the side before turning serious again. “Come on, you’ve got that look you always have when the DM won’t let you pull off some ridiculous magic shit. Did something happen at the match?”

Armitage bristled slightly at the accusation of having a specific look for being thwarted but he couldn’t find the words to explain himself so he just shrugged.

“I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

“When do you ever help me?”

“I carried your bag home for you that time.”

“You dropped my laptop.”

“Okay, I carried it most of the way home. And I paid for the repairs…” Ben sighed, turning in his seat to stare off towards the trees at the back of the beer garden. “Is this an Omega thing?”

“Oh, fuck you.” They didn’t talk about their designations, ever, and whatever stereotypical nonsense was going to come out of Ben’s mouth right now- Armitage didn’t want to hear it.

“Real mature. I know its a real Alpha sausage fest in there, I just thought maybe....”

“One in twenty males are Omegas. The number is even smaller in academia. Do you not think I’d be fucking used to it by now?”

“Yeah, but academics don’t usually get all sweaty and pumped up for battle like these guys, well except at literature conferences, I just…”

Armitage felt his hand close into a fist, crushing the cigarette he hadn’t actually been smoking.

“Stop. Talking.”

Beside him Ben swallowed audibly but said nothing more.

They sat in silence for a while, Ben watching the crows in the trees and Armitage quietly trying to wipe tobacco ash off his fingers, until finally it became too much.

“I’m… shit, I’m just worried about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I mean,” Armitage ran a nervous hand through his hair while he searched for words. “Look, I’m happy for you if you’re seeing someone but I just, no judgement, okay, but, fucking hell Ben who are you fucking that they’re leaving you in that state?”

Ben’s jaw had fallen so far it seemed to have dislocated.

“What the  _ fuck  _ are you talking about? What… I don’t…” He stopped, his face gradually turning a brighter and brighter red. “I haven’t… what the fuck?!”

Okay, so Armitage had made on hell of a mistake, but the point still stood.

“Your back! It’s covered in bruises! And scratch marks! And handprints like you’ve been spanked!” 

Ben started spluttering at that, his embarrassment apparently progressed to the point of being unable to breathe.

“No it isn’t!” He managed to say after several failed attempts.

Unable to think of anything better to do, Armitage reached back to pull up Ben’s shirt. Once again Ben flinched away but this time he kept his grip.

If anything his back looked worse up close. Some of the lines were filled with pinprick bleeds just under the surface and there were vaguely square shapes in amongst the other marks that looked like the corners of furniture. The marks weren’t just limited to his back either, they went around to his stomach as well. 

Armitage sat back a little, properly looking at Ben for the first time that day. Despite the weather he was wearing a short sleeve shirt. There was bruising on his arms too.

“Oh god, Ben, did someone beat you up?”

“What? No!” Ben frowned as he peered at his own skin. “It’s just a couple of bruises. What’s the big deal?”

Digging through his pockets Armitage found his phone and pulled Ben’s shirt back up to take a picture. It took a couple of attempts to get a clear one because his hands were shaking, but in the end he had a good enough image to show Ben what he meant.

“Oh.” Ben taking the phone from him made Armitage jump and let go of his shirt.

He hadn’t even noticed he was still holding onto it, but some incorrigible part of his mind had been fixated on how warm his skin had been. Armitage rarely touched other people except to shake hands. Apparently his body was going to take any contact it could get.

A more sensible thought popped up then.

Ben hadn’t just been warm.

Without thinking Armitage put his hand to Ben’s forehead.

“Fuck! Armie, you’re like ice!” Ben yelped. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“You’re burning up, do you feel okay?”

Instead of answering the question Ben scowled at him for a moment before throwing the phone back into Armitage’s lap. 

“I’m not a pup to be babied, alright?” He said as he stomped to his feet. “I don’t know what the fuck kind of Omega bullshit this is but I’m not putting up with it. I’m going home.”

* * *

Late on Sunday afternoon Armitage found himself pacing around the library toilets trying to stop his indecision from turning into a panic attack.

He’d argued with Ben plenty of times before- Ben was always taking the piss out of his robotically square handwriting, or teasing him for bad D&D plays, or threatening to feed him food with ‘flavour’ in it which usually meant several million scovilles of chilli powder. And Armitage was good at winding Ben up too, he wasn’t going to pretend to be innocent but…

He’d been genuinely concerned. 

He still  _ was _ genuinely concerned.

When he’d gotten home from the pub he’d searched ‘fever + bruising’ online and he hadn’t found much that was reassuring. Adding ‘+Alpha’ to the search terms just suggested something could be wrong with Ben’s hormones but the other horrible stuff might still apply. 

Thinking back on the last few weeks it hadn’t just been the bruises. Ben had been far more tired than usual. Armitage had just put it down to the standard overwork that came with university life but he’d even fallen asleep in the library a couple of times. That couldn’t be right.

Honestly Armitage was getting past ‘worried’ and into ‘scared’.

But there was always a nagging sense that maybe he was just being too Omega. That’s what Ben had accused him of after all. 

As if Armitage had a single motherly bone in his body. He barely remembered his own mother and Maratelle was a demon in a tea dress- he had no motherly example to copy. 

Should he go to the D&D game? If he didn’t show up he’d be letting the team down, but if he  _ did  _ go would Ben make it weird? Would missing it make it even weirder?

Was he making things too complicated?

He sighed. Wasn’t that just the story of his life?

The door banged open, admitting a pair of young Omegas who looked nervous at his unusually tall stature. Well, he couldn’t stay in here accidentally menacing undergrads, and the library would be closing soon, so…

* * *

“I’m casting illusory dragon in front of the lead mephit,” ‘Techie’ said in his soft American accent. Armitage had finally gotten good enough at the voice that Ben no longer mocked him for it but right now the atmosphere at the table was so tense he kept his head down anyway. “Enemies need to make a Wisdom save or they’ll be frightened.”

Across the table Ben sighed and ‘Kylo’ said, “Why would a  _ magma _ mephit, you know, made of  _ molten rock, _ be scared of a dragon? Surely you’re just making them a friend?”

The Dungeon Master, an older graduate engineering student called Tiaan, glanced between them but Ben was sitting slumped over his dice with his head in his hands so all Armitage could do was shake his head.

“It’s an illusion Kylo, I can choose what effect it has. They’re frightened because they know it can spit cold over a sixty foot radius. Are there any brave mephits?”

“Nope,” Tiaan said with a sad look at his dice. “These rocks aren’t wise.”

“Are they intelligent?” Techie asked. “Because they need to make an intelligence save now as well. Oh, you too Kylo.”

“What?” Ben actually looked up now, though he didn’t actually meet Armitage’s gaze. “Why?”

“You’re in the cone, you’re gonna get hit.” 

“For fucks sake.”

Dice clattered across the table. The mephits lost the save, Kylo won. 

“Okay so,” Armitage rolled his own dice, “that’s forty eight points of cold damage for the mephits because they’re vulnerable to cold, and twelve for Kylo. Sorry.”

“But it was a successful saving throw.”

“You still take half damage.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“You killed all the mephits.” Tiaan said. No one else at the table noticed, they were far too busy watching their paladin bickering with their wizard.

“That’s how the game works.”

“You could have shaped the spell around me!” Ben leaned forward in his seat, gesturing with a shaking hand. 

Armitage frowned. Ben looked like shit, and that might have something to do with the stack of empty Red Bull cans by his elbow, but after yesterday’s argument it didn’t look good.

“Are you ok?”

Ben had jumped to his feet. “Don’t change the fucking subject, I’m down to three fucking hit points! Why didn’t you shape the spell around me?” 

“The spell is the dragon, not the dragon’s attack, I’m not in control of…”

“Bullshit!” Ben thumped the table then hissed, rubbing his hand and apparently losing his train of thought.

“You’re out of combat anyway!” Tiaan said, raising his voice a little too late. Around the Student Union other groups turned to glare at him. “Kylo sit down and get someone to heal you for fucks sake. Hell, you can take a long rest while you loot the room for all I… Kylo? Ben?”

He’d turned a funny shade of grey, sweat beading on his brow. For a moment he wavered as if he was about to faint. 

Armitage stood up. 

Apparently that was enough to snap Ben out of it.

“I need some fresh air.” And with that he was gone.

“Okay but don’t expect your loot to still be here when you get back!” The party’s rogue shouted after him.

“Shut up DJ,” Techie said. Armitage would check up on Ben in a minute, for now his wizard would make sure the paladin still got his fair share.

* * *

The stars were surprisingly bright over the artificial lake when Armitage finally found Ben throwing tiny pieces of gravel into the water. He looked a little better now he was outside, but that might just have been the artificial lighting.

“Sorry about your character.”

Ben shrugged and didn’t turn around. 

“And sorry about… mothering you, or whatever,” Armitage went on uncomfortably. 

“I’m scared.”

The words were said so quietly Ben hardly moved his lips. 

Armitage stepped up next to him and waited for more, but instead of saying anything Ben just held out his hand. 

“What am I look…” Armitage started to say but then he saw what Ben was showing him. The whole outer edge of Ben’s hand from wrist to the end of his little finger was purple. “You did that just from hitting the table?”

“I think so.”

“Ben, you have to go to a doctor.”

“I don’t want to. I can’t... I can’t talk to those people, it’s like being back at therapy again, I can’t…” Ben stopped, covering his face with his hands in despair. 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“You’re not my mom.”

“No,” Armitage said as patiently as he could, “but I am your friend, and I’m five years older than you. I can advocate for you if you need it. Please, Ben, maybe it’s nothing but you have to get this checked out.”

* * *

“You play  _ rugby _ ,” the campus GP said in the most condescending voice Armitage had heard since his last conversation with his father, “and you’re worried about  _ bruises. _ ”

Ben stared at his hands. The colouring of his cheeks was only sign he’d heard the man.

“They’re not ordinary bruises,” Armitage countered. He sat up straight and put on his best commanding voice. Unlike Ben who was wearing torn denim shorts and a sleeveless shirt Armitage had come straight from class. Hopefully the padding in his suit jacket would give him a bit more authority. “They’re much worse than they should be. Plus he’s running a fever and he’s been getting winded very easily. A healthy sportsman shouldn’t be falling asleep in the middle of the day.”

“Going out drinking and fighting every night so you don’t get enough sleep isn’t a good reason to be here,” the doctor said like Armitage hadn’t even spoken. “I’m not giving you a note for missing lectures.”

“He hasn’t missed any lectures, he’s ill.”

“I’m sorry, but…”

Armitage placed his hands on the edge of the doctor’s desk, making sure that the signet ring he rarely wore was properly on display. “You haven’t examined him. I told you he had a fever. You didn’t even check his temperature. We all know what happened to your colleague after those freshers got meningitis and he refused to treat them. You’re going to examine him now and send him for blood tests or I’m going to call my father.”

Beside him he saw Ben turn his head to look curiously at him. He didn’t seem to notice the way the doctor glanced at Armitage’s hand.

“What was your name?” 

“Armitage Hux.”

The doctor swallowed and stared off into the distance for a moment. 

“Fine,” he said at last. “Mr Solo, strip to your underwear and sit on that examination table when your… bloody hell.”

Ben had only taken his shirt off but the doctor was already out of his chair. 

“Are you sure you’ve not been in a fight?!” He asked, catching hold of Ben’s wrists to hold  him still. 

“The bruise on his left hand is from banging on a table two days ago,” Armitage offered helpfully when Ben continued to fail at saying anything. “He didn’t hit it very hard. The rest  _ are  _ from rugby or the gym but they’re pretty old, they shouldn’t be that dark or lingering that long.”

The doctor had grabbed a thermometer while Armitage was talking. He was shaking his head at the results. 

“I want you to go down the corridor to the phlebotomist,” he said. “She’ll take some bloods and someone will call you later today to let you know when you’re hospital appointment will be.”

“Hospital?” Ben asked.

For a moment the doctor just blinked at him, as if his ability to speak was a surprise. Then again he’d barely said anything since they arrived. 

“Yes, of course. Off you go.”

Armitage wanted to ask more but Ben had already drifted out into the hallway and the doctor was typing furiously into his computer so he let the door close.

“What was that about?” Ben asked.

“What?” Armitage frowned. His brain had stopped working because Ben was still holding his shirt instead of wearing it. “Put your tits away.”

Ben blushed but did as he was told. “What was that thing with your father?” He asked. The words muffled by his shirt.

“Brendol is a major donor to the school, he’s pretty high up in a big business, and,” Armitage waved his hand with the First Order signet ring. “He’s part of a shadowy cabal a lot of middle class men belong to and no one really talks about. I noticed he was wearing the tie pin.”

“What business?” Ben asked. “Wait, cabal?”

“It’s not important, and the organisation is just, ancient mystic sabre rattling,” Armitage said and then leaned close enough to whisper. “I’m not actually a member, I stole this ring from Brendol’s bedroom ten years ago so I could get served in bars.”

“What?”

“It’s like the Masons, forget about it,” Armitage turned him around and shoved him towards the open door marked ‘Phlebotomist’. “In there.”

The phlebotomist turned out to be a cheerful older woman with a bat print lanyard and the smell of a happy Omega. Ben settled immediately into the chair like he was drugged. 

“I’m just waiting for the blood order to come through,” she said with a reassuring smile. “Those are some good bruises, do you have any problems with bleeding?”

Ben shook his head. 

“We don’t actually know,” Armitage cut in, “that’s why we’re here.”

The smile turned into a grin. “Oh, young love! I do like to see an Alpha with an Omega who can look after him.”

“We’re not together!” Armitage exclaimed a little too defensively. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing as much as Ben was right now.

“Nonsense!” She said, turning back to her screen. “Oh my goodness, ten vials. Well it’s a good thing you’ve got someone with you. Let me know if you feel dizzy or you think you’re going to pass out.” She looked at Armitage again. “You should hold his hand.”

Apparently this woman had Ben hypnotised because he held his hand out without complaint.

Without a better option available Armitage took it. 

There was some friendly nattering from the other side of Ben but neither of them responded to it. Ben had his eyes squeezed tightly shut while Armitage was too busy splitting his attention between Ben’s face and the sensation of Ben’s hand in his own. 

He would never have expected to enjoy the rough warmth of a hand that worked so hard. He was used to soft things and he’d been raised to share his life with a pampered Alpha- this was about as far as he could imagine getting from that. And now he’d experienced it he really didn’t want to give it up.

“Okay, Mr Solo can you just hold this swab in place for a second?” The phlebotomist asked. 

It took a second or two too long for Armitage to let go, but he did in the end, turning his head to stare at some awful anti-smoking poster that he could pretend to read while his blush faded. 

“Thank you,” she went on, “lets just check the bleeding has stop… whoops! Okay, let’s just hold that a little longer, oh dear, it’s okay I’m sure it’ll stop in a second, oh no…”

Armitage turned back just in time to see a little fountain of blood squirt from Ben’s arm and onto his leg. 

Suddenly the floor was rushing up at his face.

* * *

“I can’t believe I was the one bleeding out and you’re the one who ends up in an ambulance.” Ben muttered as the the paramedics handed over the paperwork to the waiting nurses. Beyond the curtains the roar of a busy Accident & Emergency unit went on as usual.

“You weren’t bleeding out.” Armitage replied with a grumpiness he soon regretted. His head was killing him. 

“I’m wearing at least a pint of my own blood right now.”

“Are American pints a tenth of the size of British ones or are you really that incapab…”

“Mr Hux?” A nurse interrupted the argument with practiced ease. “Is this your mate?”

As Armitage opened his mouth to say ‘no’ Ben said ‘yes’.

“Okay,” she nodded, then paused as she noticed the state of Ben’s clothes. “Is that your blood, or his blood, or someone else's?”

“I was having a blood draw and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, which is when he passed out.” Ben said with a shit eating grin. “Didn’t you, dear?”

Armitage pouted but didn’t argue. “Exactly what he said.”

“Okay, no known existing health issues for you?” She asked. She seemed to be running through a checklist. “No history of fainting, low blood sugar, epilepsy?”

He shook his head and winced. “No.”

“When did you last eat?”

“I had coffee for breakfast.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, that isn’t food.”

“I have fried rice last night.” Armitage admitted, getting a sigh from the nurse and a disapproving shake of the head from Ben who was clearly enjoying his role as fake-Mate far too much.

“When was your last heat?”

Oh no. “Four weeks ago.”

Ben grinned even wider. Damn him. He’d just worked out why Armitage had missed that match.

“I’m going to need you to take a pregnancy test then.” 

Couldn’t the ground just swallow him up instead? He wanted to say he’d never but Ben was right there and playing his fake-Mate…

“We’re waiting ‘til after the wedding,” he said quickly. Ben’s eyebrows shot up his face. Apparently he hadn’t expected Armitage to play along quite that much. Unfortunately that quite ruined the effect he’d been going for with the lie.

“That’s what my sister said,” the nurse laughed, “and my niece's birthday is only four months after their wedding anniversary so you’re still gonna have to pee in a jar. We’ll finish the questions first though. Any allergies?”

* * *

“Why did you tell her you were my Mate?” Armitage hissed at Ben when he strolled back into the cubicle with two coffees. At least he’d had the decency to leave while Armitage peed- the nurse wouldn’t let him leave the bed until he’d had a scan of some kind.

“I wouldn’t be able to stay with you if I said I was just some dude from uni,” Ben said. He sipped his coffee. “Ew. You’d be on your own and I get the feeling you wouldn’t want anyone to call your dad.”

Armitage shuddered. “No, thanks.”

He sighed and pressed a hand to his head. He didn’t remember them wrapping it in gauze which was probably not a good thing, but he did remember being taken to the ambulance. His fingers came away sticky with blood. 

“What actually happened?”

“You fainted and hit your head on the leg of the desk,” Ben wasn’t look at him, just picking awkwardly at the textured paper of his coffee cup. “I guess there was an exposed screw or something. You cut your head pretty bad. The nurse who called the ambulance said you’d probably need stitches but they were more worried about you not waking up.”

“It was probably the not eating more than anything,” He said.

“You’re not…” Ben paused and waved a hand towards Armitage’s stomach. There was a thick dressing taped around his elbow. “You know… pregnant?”

Oh god. 

“For fucks sake, no. I’ve never… fucking hell. No, Ben. When have you ever seen me even talk to another Alpha?” Armitage really didn’t want to say ‘I’m a virgin’ out loud to his  very mildly attractive best friend but Ben was looking at him like he was threatening to burn his favourite toy or something.

“Professor Sloane is an Alpha.”

“You think I’m fucking my doctoral advisor?!”

“People do it.”

“Are  _ you _ fucking  _ your _ lecturers?” Armitage asked. Ben paled, probably at the memory of exactly what Dr Ackbar looked like. Armitage should probably stop talking but his mouth didn’t get the message. “She’s old enough to be my mother! I’m not even, I’m not into girls, bloody hell, no. Look. Don’t worry. I’m not going to ruin your D&D campaign by dropping a sprog with some random Alpha, alright?”

Ben looked like he was going to say something but at that moment the nurse came back with a porter.

“Okay, Mr Hux, tests are clear. Time for your scan, then hopefully we can get you all stitched up and on your way home.” She said as the bed rolled out into the corridor before turning back to Ben. “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for your Mate here.”

He was asleep in the chair by the time Armitage came back.

* * *

“I still don’t believe you didn’t do it on purpose,” Rose said, gesturing across the table towards Armitage’s almost healed stitches with a slice of pizza. “I think you’re just getting too into the fiction of the story.”

Tiaan looked up. “What?” He carefully moved the hand drawn maps out of cheese spilling range.

“Techie has that tattoo on his forehead, remember?” She grinned. “Armie’s basically cosplaying at this point.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“He calls you that!” She turned to look at Ben, the grin getting wider every second as his blush deepened. “Unless that’s just a lover’s nickname.” 

“Stop it,” her girlfriend said in sing-song tones. “Leave the poor boys alone, they’re clearly fumbling through some kind of epicly long meet-cute…”

“You can shut up as well,” Armitage snapped. Beside him Ben had his head on the table again. 

It was weird to see him so uninterested in food. Usually he stole a whole pizza for himself and made ‘Techie’ do favours for ‘Kylo’ before he’d share in the real world. Now Armitage was the one hoarding food and that was just wrong. 

There was a chorus of ‘oooohs’ from the rest of the table until Tiaan finally called them to order by announcing a surprise attack. 

The group soon forgot their banter but Armitage couldn’t shake the feeling that things weren’t right. 

* * *

Monday they both had to skip out on classes for separate hospital appointments - Armitage to have his stitches removed and Ben to get more bloods taken.

When they met again in the main lobby Ben was walking more awkwardly than usual. 

“What happened, did they take the blood from the wrong place?” Armitage asked. It was a poor attempt at lightening the mood. 

Ben just shook his head and limped past him towards the taxi rank. 

“Ben, what happened?”

“It wasn’t just a blood test. They took bone marrow as well,” he said without slowing his pace. “Apparently the first bunch of results weren’t that good.”

“Did they say what it meant though?”

“No.” Ben sighed. “I don’t… look, my leg hurts, Armie, I just wanna go home. I don’t want to talk about this right now because I know nothing and speculating won’t help.”

“Okay, we’ll get you home.”

“Will you stay with me?”

Armitage stared at Ben. He actually looked as frightened as probably should have been from the very beginning. Now that he could see it he knew that expression had no business being on his face. 

“Okay.”

* * *

He didn’t end up staying the night.

Ben fell asleep diagonally across the bed after an hour of half-hearted Mario Kart, and there wasn’t enough clean floor space for Armitage to sleep comfortably with a newly healed head wound. 

So he tucked Ben into bed properly, put a glass of water and some ibuprofen on the nightstand, and wrote ‘clean your fucking room!’ on the mirror with a lip balm he’d almost skidded on. 

The rest of the corridor in Ben’s hall of residence was filled with the noise of terrible christmas pop songs and students fucking like rabbits. 

He’d never felt the holiday atmosphere to be as inappropriate as that before. 

Everything should be quiet right now. 

How dare anyone have fun.

* * *

He didn’t hear from Ben again until the Thursday morning when he woke to the noise of his phone ringing.

“Armie, I need you to come to the hospital with me. Please.”

* * *

The oncologist gave Armitage something of a side eye but made no comment- anyone could be a chaperone and judging by the doctor’s expression Ben would need the support.

Armitage only managed to register the first half of the sentence “Mr Solo I’m sorry to tell you that your test results indicate you have leukaemia…” before everything else was drowned out by the ringing in his ears.

In a way he’d known something like this was on the cards, but hearing the words said out loud was entirely different.

Beside him Ben gripped his fingers so hard that Armitage swore he could feel his bones grinding together, but the pain was nothing compared to what Ben was going through. 

He did his best to focus on what the doctor was saying.

There’d be time to deal with his own breaking heart later.


	2. Chapter 2

It was jarring that there was even Christmas music playing in the hospital. Armitage hated that once he’d noticed the sound he couldn’t stop being aware of every syrupy note of Yuletide good cheer. The faint strains of Wham! drifting from another room made him feel nauseous.

They’d only made it out of the doctor's office and halfway down the hall before Ben had sat suddenly on the floor. For a moment Armitage had stood awkwardly over him, staring at the top of his head as Ben stared at the tiles, but a porter had arrived with a bed that wouldn’t fit around them. 

Despite his illness Ben was heavy. Armitage shouldn’t really have been able to lift him. Perhaps it was anxiety over the unwanted audience that helped him haul his barely responsive form to a nearby bench.

The porter continued on his way without a word. Usually Armitage would have said something, or at least tutted at the rudeness. Instead he hardly noticed.

As soon as he was on the seat Ben had flopped forward into the same pose again- head between his knees, hands resting limply on his thighs. The leaflets the doctor had given him slipped to the floor where they drifted away across the polished surface. 

Armitage retrieved them without a word, trying not to read the titles for fear he was going to start crying if he did. 

There was so much to do, and some really difficult choices to make.

Chemotherapy would be an exhausting process. Ben’s immune system would be wiped out for a while even if it was a success. Right now he was living in a hall of residence in the middle of a busy campus sharing a kitchen with a dozen near strangers. Flu season was in full swing plus the usual outbreak of diseases the freshers had brought with them. The university was basically a cesspool of bacteria from all over the country.

Staying here would be a terrible risk.

Ben would need someone around to look after him- even if he locked himself in his room all his acquaintances here would still need to go to class. Armitage shared a house with other younger students, staying with him wouldn’t be any better.

Besides Ben could get  _ really _ sick. Not just ‘needing meals preparing and occasional rides to the hospital’ sick. He might end up on bed rest. He might end up needing round the clock care.

Armitage wasn’t his Mate.

Sitting here like a puppet with its strings cut Ben suddenly looked his age. Legally he was an adult but Armitage still remembered toasting the end of his teenage years only a couple of months ago.

In this moment Ben looked like a scared little boy who really needed his family. Armitage was his friend, he’d do this for Ben if he asked, but this wasn’t his place. However much love he had his heart for him they weren’t together.

Now they might never get to be together.

Bile rose in his throat at that thought.

Yesterday the impediment has been Ben’s lack of interest. Now it was mortality. 

God, what a melodramatic sentence to think, he wanted to fucking punch himself in the face. What right did  _ he  _ have to get morose at a time like this?

The real world reasserted itself when beside his hip Ben made a soft noise that would have been a whimper from a smaller man.

Armitage had just been standing here frozen to the spot like an idiot while Ben fell apart in front of him.

He found himself staring down at Ben’s head again, uncertain what to do. Comfort wasn’t exactly his forte. 

Some vague phrase from an old film flitted across his mind- “the young Alpha is calmed by pressure to the back of the neck”. He didn’t remember where it came from but as soon as he thought the words they seemed  _ right _ .

Barely hesitating Armitage reached out to run his hand through the short messy strands at the nape of Ben’s neck and down the top of his spine.

The response was instant. To be honest it was slightly frightening. 

One second Ben was hunched over himself, the next he had an arm wrapped around Armitage thigh and his face pressed against his hip. Why did the universe pick today of all days to make his dreams come true?

A passing nurse opened her mouth to admonish them for the PDA only to notice the leaflets still clutched in Armitage’s hand. Annoyance turned to pity. That was worse.

Armitage had never felt so conflicted in his life but when Ben whimpered again he repeated the touch with a little more force. His hair was damp with sweat, the shoddy home haircut making the strands cling unevenly together under Armitage’s fingers.

People always talked about how beautiful red hair was but brown was so much better. Rich tones of chocolate mixing with the deep almost-black beneath- just like Ben’s eyes when they walked through campus late at night.

Would he lose his hair? Chemotherapy didn’t always do that, it depended on the type, but the thought of Ben without his hair- oversized ears and uneven skull exposed to the world- made Armitage almost double over with grief.

He kept the hand stroking over Ben’s neck but let his other arm wrap around Ben’s back. It felt as if he could physically shelter Ben from the world if he just did enough in this moment. If he could throw himself in front of this illness like a bodyguard taking a bullet he would have done. 

They stayed like that for far too long. The tendons in the back of Armitage’s legs were screaming but the pain wasn’t enough to make him stand up. His cheek rested on Ben’s shoulder blade where the slow rise and fall of his breathing seemed to be the only thing keeping Armitage’s heart beating. He didn’t want to give this up for any amount of pain. 

A quiet bell chimed from a dozen places at once. 

They both ignored it. 

Shortly after the bell rang for a second time Armitage felt a soft touch on his arm.

An Omega nurse with a belly so round he looked ready to pop at any moment gave Armitage a sad smile when he finally looked up.

“I’m sorry to disturb you both but treatment and visiting hours are over,” the nurse sad in the kind of hushed whisper that people usually reserved for cathedrals and funeral homes. “We need to secure the corridors now. Do you want me to show you to the taxi rank?”

Ben voice was rough with emotion and lack of use. “No, thank you, we’ll walk.”

Armitage stepped hurriedly back, tendrils of guilt creeping in now that the Ben was verbal again. A moving animated person under his hands was somehow different to the silent statue he’d been for the last… Armitage glanced up at the clock on the wall. Bloody hell. They’d been there for over four hours. 

* * *

The world was already in darkness when they stepped outside, the winter sun long since abandoning her post to hide from the cold night air.

Part of Armitage wanted to argue about this walking plan. It was nearly three miles back to his place, and another mile to Ben’s hall on campus. The stars were bright but there was frost on the ground making the pavements treacherous. Ben was sick. His mind kept coming back to that point. Ben was sick. He shouldn’t be out in the cold.

But this was what Ben wanted. 

Ben should get what he wanted right now.

They paused under a street light to button coats and readjust scarves, but just as Armitage reached for his pocket to pull out his gloves Ben took his hand. There were no words, just the gentle closing of warm fingers over his own.

Armitage said nothing. In fact he had no idea what he could possibly say. Ben probably only wanted comfort while Armitage was getting something he’d secretly dreamed of for far too long. 

Now wasn’t the time for confessions. 

Ben set the pace, not quite strolling but not moving so fast that either of them struggled to breathe in the chilly night air. He still moved with an odd bow legged gait- apparently keeping his hands in his pockets wasn’t the cause of that- but it was easier to keep in step with now. Perhaps holding hands helped him judge Armitage’s speed better, or maybe Armitage was simply more focused on the task. 

He didn’t much want to focus on anything else. 

The local council had gone wild on christmas decor this year. The trees lining the picturesque streets were filled with clouds of fairy lights and in the distance the medieval churches shone with red, gold, and green. Some of the houses they passed were less tasteful- walls cluttered with dancing reindeer and manakin santas scaling cheap rope ladders. 

Armitage would have hated it all at the best of times. He couldn’t even look at it now. 

He almost gasped with surprise when Ben shoved their still joined hands into his coat pocket. He’d tried not to think about the cold biting at his hands but this sudden warmth was… it was so domestic. Such a casually romantic thing to do that his heart felt like it would burst from it. 

Surely Ben would notice what he’d done eventually. Armitage waited, trying to hold his hand as still as possible while they walked for fear that he’d somehow draw Ben’s attention and lose this feeling sooner. Ben never seemed to notice. 

“Off license,” he said instead, nodding towards the corner shop just ahead of them. 

“Well spotted,” Armitage replied on autopilot. He was already cringing at his own words before he’d even finished speaking them.

To his immense relief Ben just stuck his tongue out at him and steered them both towards the doors. 

They were still holding hands when they entered. 

And they kept holding hands while Ben stalked along the aisle of alcohol, looking for the bourbon that turned out to be kept behind the desk where the elderly shopkeeper watched them with distrust.

Somehow they didn’t even let go through the process of retrieving wallets and IDs.

Then they were back on the street, the bottle swinging in its bag against Ben’s leg, _ they were still holding hands _ and Ben still didn’t say anything about it.

* * *

When Ben opened the door to his room Armitage’s first instinct was that they’d gone to the wrong floor. He’d seen him put the key in the lock but this couldn’t be Ben’s room. It was  _ clean _ .

Not only was the bed made and the desk properly organised for literally the first time Armitage had seen in all the time he’d known him- the floordrobe was gone and with it the ever present smell of socks. 

Thumping the bottle down on the desk Ben said to the carpet, “do you like it?”

It took an embarrassing amount of time for Armitage to realise Ben was actually talking to him. 

“Uh, yeah it’s… it’s nice not to be in a giant laundry basket,” he said at last. Wow that sounded ungracious. His mind caught up on the situation. “Wait, did you do this for me?”

Ben nodded vaguely as he shrugged out of his jacket. 

“Sort of, I guess. I couldn’t sleep and that message on the mirror was just kinda staring at me.”

“Sorry.”

“S’ok, it needed doing.” Ben paused, his hands stroking over his jacket where he’d draped it over his desk chair. “It’ll make things easier to pack.”

There wasn’t much Armitage could say to that, so like a coward he focused on taking his own coat off. They hadn’t talked about him staying but since they’d walked past his street on the way here it seemed implicit. If Ben asked him to go later he would. 

Ben seemed to be frozen in place, his thumbnail picking fitfully at a seam of his jacket while Armitage wrestled with the increasingly uncomfortable silence. 

He still had the leaflets in his hand. Putting them on the desk in Ben’s line of sight seemed a little unfair but he also didn’t want them to be lost. He was turning in place, looking for a better spot to leave them when he noticed something odd on a pinboard by the door. 

Most of the board was filled with D&D ephemera, including the melted remains of a dice that had almost gotten Kylo killed after a run of low rolls. The surprising thing was in the middle, much bigger than everything else. It was an ink drawing of Armitage, or rather an ink drawing of Armitage as Techie, his wizard, dressed in filthy robes half hidden by long tangled hair. Even though his character was a slob the picture made him look beautiful. 

The picture definitely hadn’t been there the last time he visited but the date in the corner was set nearly a year ago. It had clearly been drawn with a calligraphy pen. Underneath the date it was signed with Ben’s name.

There were hearts in the margin. 

“I uh, found that under my bed, I think I was gonna illustrate our campaign or something but I got distracted by something else,” Ben muttered from just to the left of Armitage’s elbow.

Armitage turned to look at him. “I don’t know what to say.”

Ben just shrugged and took the leaflets from his hands, throwing them down on the desk on top of a pile of letters. 

The silence returned, even more uncomfortable than before. Armitage wondered if it’d be impolite to start on the bottle of bourbon himself. 

As if reading his mind Ben cracked the plastic seal and grabbed two mugs from the shelves over his desk. They weren’t exactly the most elegant drinking vessels- Armitage’s mug read ‘definitely not a mimic’ while Ben’s seemed to have been stolen from some obscure US government department- but they did the job of holding alcohol and that was all that mattered right now. 

He took a sip, forgetting his usually beer-drinking ways, and found himself doubled over coughing and spluttering like an inexperienced teen. The bed caught the back of his knees so he sat down to continue his undignified choking in comfort but Ben continued to stand.

“There’s a map,” Ben said after he’d apparently drained half his mug in one go.

“What? Like a treasure map?” Armitage asked between coughs, his brain still stuck on the hand drawn image of himself on the wall. Was Ben talking about D&D?

“No, I mean a life map,” Ben went on. “You know, the things everyone expects you to do.”

He was pacing around the tiny room now, his mug raising to his lips but never quite making it all the way. The floor space was far too narrow for his long legs and that clearly added to his agitation. 

“Go to school, get a degree, get a job, fall in love, buy a house, have some kids- A to B to C to D - hah - and everyone is always saying it doesn’t matter how you get there so long as you’re happy, but there’s this constant nagging feeling that these are the things you’re supposed to do, so it’s all so fucking easy because everyone does it. And it’s not as if you don’t want to do all that. You want to be happy. You want to make people proud. But they’re all sitting there watching you like an audience waiting for someone to jump off a diving board. Whether you stick the landing or crash and burn, it’s all entertainment to someone.” He paused, pulling at his hair with his free hand. “And here’s the map of my fucking life just back from hell’s cartographers- ‘here there be fucking dragons’. Go to school, fall in love, die.”

Ben knocked back the rest of the bourbon and pitched the mug at the wall in a single frantic gesture that saw half the alcohol spilled down his chin. 

To both their surprise Armitage caught the mug before it hit the wall. The buildings here were so shoddy it would probably have done more damage to the plaster than to itself, but Armitage hadn’t really thought about it. His hand had moved without his conscious decision. 

His mind was far too busy analysing the end of Ben’s rant.

“Fuck.” Ben was on the floor again, his knees hitting the carpet with a hollow thump that would surely leave a bruise. “Fuck.” Now both hands were in his hair, tugging as if the pain could ever be enough to block out what was going on in his head. “Fuck.”

At first Armitage didn’t recognise the sound that was coming from Ben. He’d never heard an Alpha cry before and the impossibly deep noise seemed to be wired directly to his solar plexus, the physical pain of it shocking in its intensity. 

Big brown eyes were quickly hidden behind fast flowing tears that dripped from Ben’s lips to the floor between his knees. 

Armitage couldn’t stand it a moment longer.

Forgetting dignity, propriety, and every millimetre of distance he’d try to keep between them Armitage slid down off the bed, his feet bracketing Ben’s hips as he hauled the weeping man forward into his arms. Or at least that’s what he tried to do.

The instant his hands were on Ben’s back then Ben’s arms were wrapping around Armitage’s middle, dragging him forward to straddle Ben’s thighs as Ben buried his face against his meagre chest. 

They stayed like that for a long time, Ben’s tears soaking through Armitage’s shirt to chill the skin over his heart while he returned to the technique that had worked so well in the hospital. Long firm strokes over Ben’s neck in time with calmer breathing. 

Where had he heard of that before?

He stared ahead at the shabby standard issue curtains. He felt half hypnotised by his own movements but perhaps that was the point. 

Oh. 

That  _ was _ the point.

He’d heard this particular piece of advice in a public health video the school had shown all the Omegas at fourteen. At the time he’d thought the whole thing pretty degrading, not just to Omegas but Alphas too. Times were changing. Alphas weren’t savage beasts to be calmed and Omegas weren’t broodmares made to take the emotional weight of every Alpha in their lives. 

The technique had been presented in a section on childcare and was ostensibly aimed at Omega mothers who might need to calm their growing Alpha pups, but there was an undercurrent implying that any Omega might need to know how to keep an Alpha is check.

Armitage had hated that video. He’d hated the cutesy comments about heats and the excessively saccharine representation of marriage. He’d especially hated the way every Omega was portrayed as soft and sweet and motherly. He was none of those things.

But in this moment, a sobbing Alpha clinging to him like he was the last liferaft on a sinking ship, Armitage could have kissed the filmmaker for giving him some small way to help Ben’s pain. It wasn’t enough, but it was a start.

“You know what the worst part of all this is?” Ben muttered against Armitage’s chest.

He didn’t  _ want _ to know, but he asked anyway. Ben clearly needed to talk. “What?”

“It took me getting cancer to get you in my arms.”

“Ben.”

“I’m sorry. I know that isn’t fair.” Ben said. He still wasn’t looking up at Armitage, even though he’d leaned back in an effort to see Ben’s face. “It’s just… I’m twenty and I’m gonna die a virgin. ‘In a tragedy that surprises no one- D&D playing Alpha dies without ever seeing a naked Omega’.” He sighed and his breath somehow chilled Armitage’s skin even more. “You have no idea how hard it is to be celibate for this fucking long.”

“Well, I’ve had five additional years of ‘never having seen an Alpha naked’ on top of your twenty so…”

Now Ben looked up. “What? But the nurse at the hospital made you take a pregnancy test.”

“You were literally sitting there pretending to be my Mate!” Armitage cried. “Of course she thought I was sexually active! Besides, they do that to everyone with a uterus between the ages of like thirteen to fifty five. It’s just standard practice.”

He shivered as Ben hummed thoughtfully. The noise rumbled through his chest in a delightful way that was totally inappropriate for the situation. 

Ever the traitor his cock twitched in his jeans.

“I… I don’t want to die a virgin.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Armitage replied immediately. His arms tightened on Ben’s back in an attempt to comfort him that somehow dragged them closer together. It was hard to ignore the corresponding bulge in Ben’s own trousers but…

Some tiny rebellious part of his psyche asked why he had to ignore it. 

What exactly was he achieving by denying himself this?

Of course he didn’t want to take advantage of Ben, he’d never ever want to do that but hadn’t Ben just said he wanted…

“Who did you fall in love with?” Asked whatever insane creature was in charge of Armitage’s body right now. 

Ben turned so his lips were against Armitage’s neck.

“You.”

The full body shiver that those words caused seemed to run through Armitage and into Ben.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You never made a move, I thought…”

“Neither did you!”

Ben laughed at the admonishment, then turned suddenly sombre. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be springing this on you now.”

Armitage caught Ben’s face is his hands and gently forced him up to meet his gaze. “You’re gonna be leaving in a few days. I want to help you. I… I want to give you the best motivation I can so you’ll come back to me, healthy and whole. Okay?”

“Armie, you don’t have to…”

“You know I missed that weekend because of my heat?” Armitage asked, leaning in to whisper against Ben’s ear not for emphasis but because he felt suddenly too shy for eye contact. “I was thinking about you the whole time.”

Ben’s arms compulsively tightened as he gulped. 

“I’ve been thinking about you for a whole damn year.” Armitage went on. “Please, let me do this.”

This time it was Ben who leaned back to stare at Armitage and Ben who sank his fingers into his hair to pull him forward once he’d seen whatever confirmation he needed in Armitage’s eyes.

He’d never imagined his first kiss would be like this, tear streaked and more than a little tragic, but what Ben lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. They were clinging together, erections all but ignored in favour of the grip of one another hands and the sensation of their hearts beating so very close together. 

The kiss dragged on for long warm minutes, the rest of the world fading away. All that matter was the path of their tongues.

Just when Armitage felt sure he could stay like this forever the reality of straddling Ben’s thighs caught up with him in the form of cramp. 

“Stop, stop, sorry I have to…” He pushed off from Ben and scrambled up the bed, one hand clutching at his thigh. “Bloody cramp! Stupid, useless legs can’t bloody sit…”

He looked up when Ben laughed. 

The man still kneeling on the floor was pale and tears lingered at the edges of his eyes but somehow he still looked amused.

“What?”

“I thought for a moment there you didn’t want… but, it’s just…” Ben heaved a relieved sigh and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Armitage’s knee. 

“I’m glad my pain amuses you,” Armitage tried to snap back but Ben’s lips were perilously close to where Armitage had always wanted them, so the words came out a little strangled.

Ben looked up and Armitage was lost.

Those huge eyes staring up at him, hadn’t he always…

He groaned as Ben pressed up on his knees to nuzzle against the fly of his jeans. 

“Fuck, you smell amazing.”

Suddenly emboldened Armitage reached down a shaking hand and pressed lightly on the back of Ben’s head. Ben took the hint. They both moaned as Ben’s nose pressed against his length through the fabric of his jeans. A pulse of precome soaked through beside his face and Ben shuddered. The first hints of slick followed, filling the air with distinctive sickly sweet scent.

“Are we doing this?” Armitage asked. His voice was rough as he leaned back on the mattress, legs spread almost of their own accord.

Ben growled a little in his chest but staggered upright. For a moment Armitage was concerned, but then he remembered how long Ben had been on his knees.

Standing over him like a conquering warrior Ben tore his clothes off at record speed, accidentally denying Armitage the chance to unwrap him like the much anticipated treat he really was, but as more skin was exposed it became clear why it was better for him to do it for himself. 

It had been a good few days since Armitage had last seen his bruises and the bone marrow test site had bruised a deep and horrifying blue. 

All these months he’d dreamed of being able to take the time to admire every inch of Ben, but now the experience was tinged with sadness.

If Armitage had still needed proof that all wasn’t well here it was. He was so used to thinking of Ben as strong that seeing him like this broke his heart. 

He bit his lip to keep his expression from giving him away. Instead he focused on standing and unfastening his belt at a more sensible speed. If his hands were shaking Ben would surely just put it down to nerves. 

As he stripped off his own shirt he couldn’t help but think- should they be doing this? How sick was Ben really? The doctor had told him to take a break from sports for the sake of his health, but was that just because Ben mostly played contact sports? Did sex count as a contact sport?

His brain was well and truly running away from him when Ben’s voice cut through it all. 

“Holy shit, you’re beautiful…” 

He looked down, surprised to see that he was already fully naked and then Ben’s hands were on his chest and his hips, tracing his shape like he was something to be admired, like he was something more than the skinny weak Omega he’d been his entire life.

Ben pulled him gently forward, back onto the bed and up, silently urging him to straddle his lap. 

“God, look at you, you’re like an elf,” Ben sighed, one thumb running over a nipple while his other hand stroked comfortingly along Armitage’s thigh.

“Fuck you, how am I like an elf?”

Ben grinned at him, clearly pleased that some of the tension was broken. “You’re all tall and skinny and delicate. Ethereal. And more likely to kill than most people might suspect.” 

“You got one thing right then.” Armitage shook his head and leaned in to kiss him again. 

It wasn’t as good as their first kiss but there was potential in the distracted way Ben nibbled at his lips and tugged at his hair. 

Armitage tried to set a languid pace. He wanted a balanced between keeping Ben interested and actually having space to prep himself- something he’d rarely done outside his heat and never with another person. Nerves were setting in at the prospect of losing his virginity this way. It wasn’t as simple as the Alpha beneath him seemed to think. 

Ben couldn’t seem to stop moving, the leaking head of his cock rubbing along Armitage’s crack with every impatient flex of his hips. It was a titillating sensation but also a terrifying one. He was so damn big. Armitage had to pin him to keep him still.

“Stop, stop, we need to… look, I’ve… Ben, I know neither of us have ever done this, but just…” Armitage blushed and looked away. 

Why was this so hard to say out loud? He was sitting here with Ben’s cock mere millimetres from his skin. This was his best friend. How could anything feel more intimate than what they were already doing? And yet talking about the next steps had him tongue tied.

“What do you need?” Ben asked. “Have you never had anything inside you?” He seemed both surprised and thrilled at the prospect. 

“I’ve never been fucked, alright?” Armitage said. He knew he sounded defensive but he didn’t care. “It’s different.  I’m just, not ready. Yet. Physically I mean. I’m not in heat so you can’t just, fucking, go for it.”

“You need prepping? I thought Omegas were always ready to go, but okay.” Without further prompting Ben licked the first two fingers on his right hand and reached down between them. “At least I know how to this… well I like the way I do it anyway.”

“You’ve done…” For fucks sake he couldn’t even say ‘played with your own arse’. What the hell was wrong with him all of a sudden? Come on, Armitage. One hot Alpha asks to fuck you and you lose the ability speak. Giving up on words he resorted to grabbing Ben’s arse to make his point instead. “That stuff? I didn’t think Alphas were into that? Just Betas...”

“Only on myself. In the shower. Feels good sometimes.” Ben said. One of his fingertips was tracing slow circles around Armitage’s hole now, smoothing the steady flow of slick across his skin. “I don’t make my own lube though.”

The fingertip dipped inside and much to his embarrassment Armitage groaned out loud. Someone else doing it felt infinitely better than his own hands.

“I have toys,” he said as he tried to regain his dignity. “Every unmated Omega has something, we’d die without it, but I’ve never done this with anyone else, and I don’t, ahhhh, play with myself outside of heats.”

He arched his back into the slow steady pressure of Ben’s finger. How could one digit feel so thick?

“You don’t… come just for fun then?” Ben asked. His tongue peeked out between his teeth as he grinned. “Armie, I knew you were a joyless son-of-a-bitch but…”

For a moment Armitage tried to sit back, offended by the insult, but the change in position left him gasping as Ben sank in to the last knuckle. 

“My cock is more than enough for me, thank you.” He said through unsteady breaths. He couldn’t leave his honour entirely undefended. “It’s different for Omegas, heat makes everything more sensitive so once you’re used to how it feels in a heat, doing it the rest of the time is just… meh.”

“It’s like trying to jack off with a numb hand?” Ben chuckled. His finger was flexing as if he were searching for something. It felt strange, but not terrible. “I’ve done that before.”

“It’s more like getting fucked with cotton candy. Never enough substance.” Armitage emphasised his point by wriggling back but much to his disappointment Ben had stopped moving entirely. The pad of his second finger was pressed again Armitage’s rim, hot and maddeningly close to where he needed it to be, but it remained still.

“This isn’t doing anything for you then? If you’re not in heat…”

Armitage shook the strands of sweaty hair out of his eyes to better glare at the idiot underneath him. He lifted the free hand Ben currently had on his chest and placed it over his cock. The short length disappeared completely under the bulk of Ben’s palm but they could both feel the warm precome that pulsed between them.

“Does it look like this is doing ‘nothing to me’?!”

“You just said…”

“Bloody hell, Ben, all said was that my own hands are useless, not yours! Masturbation is not the same as being fucked! You’re an Alpha! And look at the size of you! I’d have to be clinically dead not to be getting off on this!” He leaned down to kiss him far too hard and reached back to grab Ben’s wrist. “No, I’m not in heat but this still feels fantastic so stop worrying and get on with it.”

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated…”

“ARGH! Hurry up and fuck me!!” 

Someone in an adjoining room banged on the wall in protest at the noise.

That seemed to be enough to snap Ben out of his momentary funk. Armitage almost sobbed with relief when he eased his finger out and pushed back in with two this time. And he’d thought one finger was overwhelming.

Ben laughed softly as Armitage seemed to melt across his chest, rutting against his belly with every thrust and twist.

If only he’d stop flexing his fingers like that… Armitage realised how ridiculous it was not to ask for what he needed. Ben was going to fuck him, he cared whether it felt good.

“If you’re looking for my prostate don’t bother, that’s what your knot is for, just stretch me for now,” he murmured between gasps. “You are going to knot me, right? Big strong Alpha like you.” 

Where the hell  _ that _ had come from he didn’t know, but Ben gave a shiver of delight that had Armitage swearing to do it again. 

“Is it safe?” Ben asked.

“I’m not in heat, we’ve been over this. And neither of us has done enough to need testing. So, knot me.”

The fingers inside him scissored and flexed with more purpose now. 

“Fuck.” Ben sighed.

It was just a whisper, probably not even consciously said, but Armitage couldn’t help replying, “that’s the point, yes.”

Ben gave an undignified hybrid between a snort and a giggle. It was such a cute noise Armitage had to kiss him.

When he pulled back Ben had blushed bright red.

“What is it?” 

“Can I… can I mount you, you know, properly? Like… uh…” Ben couldn’t seem to meet his eyes any more but as he spoke his fingers were teasing Armitage’s cock in an absent minded way that made thought damn near impossible.

Then his words caught up with Armitage’s brain.

“Like a Mating?” He tried not to freeze in place. What had been a steady building of arousal deep in his gut had turned into a firestorm of desire and fear. What Ben was suggesting would be risky. Risky and unspeakably hot. 

He hadn’t made his mind up but a rush of slick poured over Ben’s hand, making his body’s opinion on the matter very clear.

“I might not…” Ben trailed off. The unsaid ‘live to get another chance’ hung between them.

Being mounted- presenting himself in the mating pose with his neck exposed and vulnerable to the Alpha taking him from behind - was one of the most intimate thing an Alpha and Omega could do together. It featured in so much porn that it was practically synonymous with their designations but those Omegas usually wore neck protectors hidden under their hair. 

For real life couples it was up there with officially Mating and getting pregnant- two things that almost always followed on from this. 

He wasn’t in heat so he wouldn’t get pregnant, but his scent glands would be right there…

“Do you promise not to bite me?” He asked a little too bluntly, his body screaming for him to get on with it while his mind wavered between fear and arousal. 

“I wouldn’t,” Ben replied. He kissed the corner of Armitage’s mouth. “I know how badly it hits when a Mate dies, my grandfather almost lost his mind.”

“Ben, you’re not going to…”

The smile Ben gave him was achingly sad. “Then you won’t mind if we save it until I’m cured.”

Armitage leaned in to kiss him, half from a need to comfort and half from a wish to hide his tears. If Ben noticed he didn’t say anything.

He whined Ben’s name as he eased a third impossibly thick finger into him. At least Ben was capable of keeping them on track.

The stretch was amazing, far more than his usual toys, and his slick was getting messy now. He made his decision.

“Okay. Mount me. Knot me. I’m ready.”

Ben grinned against his lips. “Thank you.”

Swapping places was more than awkward- the bed was narrow and crowded against the wall; Armitage’s legs felt like jelly from resting his weight on Ben for so long; Ben didn’t seem to want to actually disconnect from him for long enough to get out from under him. Swear words were muttered, elbows and knees collided.

Then Armitage was alone in the middle of the bed.

Being in this pose felt right in ways he didn’t want to think about right now. Arse in the air, face in a pillow, hands linked tight behind his back, thighs spread wide. It felt good. He was a strong modern Omega and yet, this felt so fucking right.

The mattress sagged as Ben joined him. There was a pause and a sigh of admiration that made his toes curl, then one of Ben’s hands gripped both of his wrists in one easy movement. Another pulse of slick ran down his thighs. At this rate the bed would be soaked before Ben even...

Behind him Ben slipped a thumb easily into his hole, tugging at his rim with a delicious stretch that made him whine for more. 

Apparently the sight had just as much effect on Ben who moaned low in his throat. The wet head of his ridiculous Alpha cock nudged the crease of his thigh and if Ben hadn’t held him pinned Armitage would have fucked himself back on to it like the desperate cock hungry slut he was in that moment.

It should have seemed so wrong to think of himself in those terms, but he right now he felt sure he’d die without that cock inside him.

All these years of resisting the stereotypes and here he was giving in to them all.

“Please… ah yes, oh, oh fuck,” he didn’t even get through the first word of his begging before Ben was lining up and easing in.

Compared to every toy he’d ever used Ben was huge and exactly what Armitage needed. Every millimetre was a stretch, the preparation not nearly enough for this challenge, more slick than Armitage had ever imagined he could produce forced out of him as his body fought to take what was offered.

“Hnng… so tight,” Ben groaned, his face coming to rest between his shoulder blades. “Fuck, Armie, you’re….” His free hand caught Armitage around his hips hauling him back to seat himself balls deep in one long thrust that had them both gasping. “Fuck you’re perfect.”

Ben snapped his hips forward and Armitage keened into pillow at the wonderful shock of a cock hitting his cervix for the first time. Toys never reached that far.  

Why the hell had he waited so long?

He was already a quivering mess even before Ben set his fast brutal pace but after a few thrusts he was already incoherent. Ben kept his grip on his hands so Armitage had no control, and the arm locked around his hips kept his cock pinned, limiting the friction there. He had no choice but to focus on the stretch of his hole and the shifting friction of every stroke.

“Not gonna last,” Ben gasped against his skin. He clenched his jaw again immediately after the words but the scrape of his teeth was so fucking tempting. 

Armitage bit the pillow to keep from saying anything foolish.

He could feel it now if he focused- the change of texture at the base of Ben’s cock. What had been soft wrinkled flesh that teased his hole with each thrust was getting warmer. 

He canted his hips upward, spreading his knees and offering Ben as much of himself as he could possibly manage. 

“Oh god, Armie, I love you, I love you, I…” 

Armitage howled into the pillow, his whole body shuddering wildly as Ben filled him in a duel rush of heat and flesh as his knot expanded followed by the impossible flood of cum. 

It felt amazing. He could feel it pulsing over his cervix, filling and stretching a space that a few seconds ago he’d imagined to be at its limit. Every moment he thought he couldn’t possibly take any more, but his body was made for this. 

They toppled sideways, Ben gasping and wheezing against his back, his hips twitching with each pulse. 

Just when Armitage thought it was over the arm around his hip shifted. A hot dry hand closed around his cock. 

One, two, three long chafing strokes and he was screaming at the ceiling, his feet scrabbling against the sheets as his muscles clenched around the knot in his arse and cum splashed over his own chest. 

“Fuck!” 

Behind him Ben gave an exhausted laugh. 

The banging from another room had turned into threats to call university security if they didn’t shut up. 

“Get fucked!” Armitage shouted at the mystery complainant. He laughed and turned to kiss Ben as best he could with the two of them tired together. “I just did.”

“Yeah, you did,” Ben giggled, then hid his face in the curve of Armitage’s neck. 

His arms closed around Armitage’s middle to pull him close against his chest and the hand that was now sticky with cum settled on his belly, massaging slow circles over the slight bulge. Armitage wondered if he knew he’d done that or if he thought he was always this round. He elected not to say anything- if he did the wonderful contact might stop.

The two of them lay there panting for what seemed like an age before Ben murmured, “Thank you.”

“I don’t think thanks are necessary.”

“You made me go to the doctor. You cared enough to notice I was sick. You, you let me fuck you like we were really Mates…”

“Ben. I love you. You don’t need to thank me. I just wish we’d done this sooner.”

Behind him the Alpha yawned. “Yeah…”

“Get some sleep, we’ll be stuck like this for a while.” Armitage said, but Ben was already snoring against his back.

* * *

Armitage woke in the middle of the night. He stared at the ceiling wondering what had disturbed him for several minutes before Ben snorted and the previous evening came rushing back to him.

His body took that opportunity to presents it complaints to him- he felt dehydrated and overly warm from the unfamiliar room, and his joints ached from the stress of the pose but his cock was already uncomfortably hard again. 

He shifted a little, trying rearrange himself in a bed far too narrow for two grown men, and rolled directly up against Ben’s own erection. 

Ben didn’t even seem to be awake but he reached down before Armitage could move back and started stroking both their cocks in one massive hand. It felt amazing, the thick slide of what he realised must be a mixture of his own slick and Ben’s cum. Ben couldn’t have slipped out of him very long ago - there wasn’t much cum on the sheets yet, it must be all inside him still.

Armitage groaned, biting his lip to muffle himself, and wrapped an arm around Ben’s neck. He knew he couldn’t explain why that thought was so erotic but his hole was suddenly hot with need for more. To be stuffed so full by his beloved, it’d be pouring out of him for days.

The grip on his cock tightened, the base of Ben’s cock twitching again and suddenly Armitage couldn’t resist. 

“Ben?” He murmured. 

Then was an odd snuffling noise in response.

“Ben, can I ride you?”

Ben moaned deep in his throat. “Fuck, Armie, please.”

That was all he needed. He slapped Ben’s hand away, hooked a leg over his hip, and lined Ben up. 

They both gasped as Ben’s knot formed the instant he pushed inside Armitage’s surprisingly loose passage. Too turned on to think Armitage pushed him onto his back and rode him anyway. They were tied together by Ben’s knot but there was a few millimetres of leeway to move in and Armitage intended to use it all. 

After a moment of shock Ben reached up, teasing his nipples as Armitage’s hand flew over his own cock. 

He’d never felt so desperate for relief in his life, and yet his mind couldn’t seem to focus on any one thing long enough for his orgasm to crest. He could feel Ben’s cum filling him, his knot stretching him, Ben fingers and his own hands but it wasn’t enough. His scent glands were aching, an empty place in need of something he knew he couldn’t have.

“Ben? Talk to me? Please?”

“What?” Ben still sounded sleep addled and confused. “What the fuck about?”

“I can’t… I can’t… tell me what else you want to do to me.”

“Ooohh…” Ben paused, seeming unable to think over the abuse of his own knot but finally he said. “I wanna knot your mouth and see my cum pour down your chest because you can’t swallow it fast enough.”

Armitage moaned and quickened his pace.

“When I get back I want to mount you in front of a mirror,” Ben went on in a voice thick with lust, “and watch every expression on your face while I fuck you senseless. I want to suck your cock while you beg me to help you through your heat. I want to see your eyes when I bite your neck and make you mine, then I want to keep you there on your knees until I’m sure my pups are in you. I want to watch myself fucking you while your belly is round with the life we made.”

The orgasm hit him then like a freight train. He’d never felt anything like it in his life- red hot pleasure sang through every nerve in his body until he was sure he’d faint from it. Beneath him Ben roared and seemly impossibly he came again, flooding Armitage’s inside with a third load of cum.

Armitage sat there panting for a moment before he looked down at himself. What had been a barely noticeable bulge before seemed far more massive this time. He rubbed his fingers over it, marvelling at the taught skin and the subtle twitches of Ben inside him. It felt so, so right. 

Finally spent he collapsed forward into Ben’s arms. They soon fell asleep as they waited for the knot to go down. 

In the morning they both discounted the second round as merely a dream and each decided not to mention it to the other. It seemed so silly the cold light of day to think that an Alpha could come twice in a matter of minutes or that an Omega would be so bold, and surely Ben would never say those things out loud…

Besides they had other things to worry about when the new day began. 

* * *

Leia - Ben’s mother - cried when she heard the news of Ben’s illness but she was out of the country and unable to help. His father Han couldn’t be reached at all.

So it was his uncle, an oddly religious Omega, who jumped on the first train from London to bring Ben home. 

Ben hadn’t expected such a quick response. He’d assumed his mother would waffle for a few days and his father would try to think of some mad scheme that would let him stay in school. Instead he had to throw himself immediately into the process of leaving. 

Lecturers and team captains needed to be consulted. An unbelievable number of forms needed to be filed. Fines for immediate departure had to be paid. 

Armitage would have done anything to stay with Ben through all of that, but there weren’t enough hours before his uncle was due to arrive, so instead Armitage set about packing up Ben’s room while Ben did the leg work. 

Hopefully his uncle intended to rent a car once he arrived because Ben had far too much stuff to possibly get on the train. Armitage filled two boxes with D&D rule books and ephemera alone.

It felt strange to be suddenly so intimately involved in a room he’d spent so much time in but never really looked at before. He’d never realised Ben had an entire drawer of art supplies, or that Ben had kept the party hats they’d been forced to wear at the last New Years party- Ben had ended the night wearing them like a glittery bra, it was a miracle they’d survived. 

But for the most part he tried not to pry. It’d be all to easy to get caught up in details and never get the work done, but he couldn’t help pausing now and then. This was the sweater Ben had worn when Kylo saved Techie from the demogorgon. These were the boots he always wore when they went to clubs. This was the folder he used… 

Half a dozen photographs cascaded to the floor. 

Each of them featured Ben and Armitage at the D&D table, usually deep in some kind of friendly argument. When had these been taken?

In one of the pictures Ben was grinning at him like he’d hung the moon. 

How had he never noticed? 

How had he been so blind?

He laid the photos out on the desk and took a picture of each one with his phone. 

He had almost no record of the two of them together. 

By the end of the day Ben would be gone.

There might never be a chance to ever get another photo of them together again.

* * *

Ben’s uncle Luke had a quiet distrustful intensity that set Armitage’s alarm bells ringing but there was nothing he could do about it. He’d turned up at Ben’s room before Ben got back so now they had to say their goodbyes under his watchful gaze.

“I have your number, obviously,” Ben said, awkwardly holding Armitage’s hands between them like a physical shield. “But I don’t know if mom is gonna make me go back to the States for treatment. If that happens your phone bill could really high before I can come home to you, so… can I write? I mean, can we write to each other? I know it’s old fashioned but,” he blushed, “I like calligraphy and I want to be able to hold something in my hands when you reply.”

Armitage had to swallow against the lump in his throat before he could speak. “Okay. I’ll do my best to figure out how stamps work, but can you just do me something for me too?”

“What?”

“Come here.” 

They kissed, ignoring the tears that were streaming down both their faces. Then Armitage pulled out his phone and awkwardly took a picture of the pair of them, arms wrapped comfortably around one another as if that was how they always should have been.

“Thank you. Take care of yourself, and promise you’re going to come back to me.”

Ben smiled and kissed him one last time. “Don’t like DJ take all Kylo’s loot while he’s away at the temple!” He laughed as he turned away.

“Don’t worry, Techie will spend it all for you.” 

Armitage watched the rented car vanish into the distance. He felt like his heart was going with it. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darling readers, I'm writing this at a pace of about six thousand words per day. Please be kind if I take a little while to get each chapter up. Comments of encouragement are much appreciated, badgering me will get you poked with a sharp stick.
> 
> Emetaphobia (vomit/sickness) warning for this chapter, take care of yourselves my dears. If you've any concerns about content, in this chapter or future ones, please come talk to me on tumblr.
> 
> **Changing to two POVs from here onwards.**

Ben didn’t look back at Armitage as he walked away. Maybe that was unfair but he was pretty sure that if he’d paused for even a second he’d have run back to cling to the only part of his life that wasn’t a flaming wreckage right now. That would have been worse. 

So he set his jaw and headed to the car. He did smile at the comment about Techie spending all his loot though- the nasty little wizard had a habit of ‘borrowing’ gold he never paid back. Perhaps he should include in-character letters when he wrote to Armitage so he’d at least come back to some epic armour and weapons. If he came back. 

Fuck. He didn’t want to think about that. He probably shouldn’t, just psychologically speaking. The best thing was to focus on getting better and ignore the rest, right? Being depressed wouldn’t help him. 

As the car rumbled into life he leaned his head against the window and tried to think healthy thoughts. All he heard was his uncle bickering with the sat nav as if it was a person. 

The whole journey was just going to be six hours of this, he could already tell. 

“Can I put my iPod on? I should probably get some sleep.”

“No, Ben, I’d rather you help me get out of the city at least.”

“I don’t drive, Luke,” Ben countered, though he knew arguing would be futile. “No one drives in the city, there’s no parking on campus and street permits are crazy expensive. I only know how to get around on foot, and this thing won’t fit through alleyways.”

“Well, I still want you to be able to hear me. We need to have a talk before we get home.”

“Oh, great.”

“Ben…” Luke said in a warning tone of voice before he hissed under his breath and focused all his attention on the road. 

If he wasn’t about to be trapped with the man for hours Ben probably would’ve put his headphones on anyway, but he knew not to push it. Not yet. Not until he had to.

“So…” Luke finally began once they were on the motorway and there was nothing for the sat nav to say for at least an hour. “So. Who was that in your room?”

“He didn’t introduce himself?”

“You know that’s not what I mean!”

“God, Luke, what do you care?” Ben snapped. “Why is  _ this _ what you’re starting with? ‘Hello Ben, how are you?’ Well Luke, thanks for asking, I have fucking cancer and I might die, but how are you?”

Rather than answering Luke just drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“Fine. He’s a guy I play D&D with. It’s a game.”

“I know what D&D is,” Luke said. He sounded disappointed, but he usually did whenever he spoke to Ben. “I also know what another Omega smells like, and… not to be crude, I know what I could smell in your room.”

Ben swallowed hard but chose not to respond to that. There were many things he didn’t want to discuss with Luke and sex was right at the top of the list.

Luke plowed on despite the silence. “Did you use protection?”

He hadn’t asked. Armitage had said it was fine and Ben had just... taken him at his word. Fuck. But Armitage had made  _ such _ a point of everything being okay… Besides, Armitage was the single most responsible person he’d ever met. He wouldn’t have lied about that.

“We’re not idiots.” He said at last, not entirely believing himself. He’d ask Armitage in his first letter. Or maybe he’d text him. Just for his peace of mind.

“I know you’re not stupid, but things happen in a heat that you can’t plan for.”

“For fucks sake, Luke, he wasn’t even in heat! It’s fine. Just because  _ you _ made a mistake…”

“Don’t! This isn’t about me. This is about you. And that Omega.” Luke added Armitage almost as an afterthought and that made Ben bristle for ways he couldn’t fully explain. “You didn’t Mate him, did you?”

“Why? Do you think mom’ll be pissed I gave away the Skywalker lineage to the first Omega who took an interest in my cock?”

Luke sighed. “You don’t need to be so crude.”

“You’re the one talking about fucking.”

“No, I’m the one asking you if you’ve risked an Omega’s life by making a bond with him that you can’t maintain! When Wedge died…”

“I’m not…”

“When Wedge died it almost broke me. Look, I don’t want you to be alone, but it is so dangerous…”

“I didn’t Mate him!” Ben shouted. He slammed his hand into the door for emphasis and immediately regretted it. Tears filled his eyes then but he couldn’t say if they were from pain or grief. “I didn’t Mate him because I’m probably gonna die and that’d be the single most selfish thing I could possibly ever do. Okay? _ I’d  _ rather be alone.”

For a moment Luke looked stricken. For better or worse they were relatives- Ben had to remember that it would matter to Luke on some level if he died. 

“Is your diagnosis really that bad?” Luke asked gently. “That’s not what your mom said, and you know I can’t keep things from Leia.”

Ben took a moment to gather himself again, rubbing his hand as he stared out of the window. He had a habit of seeing the worst in things so he had to replay that whole horrible conversation again.

“It’s early days,” He said at last. “They don’t have much of a baseline to work from yet- the doctor thought it would be better for me to get away from university as soon as I could. But he gave me some okay percentages, because of my age and keeping fit. Being an Alpha doesn’t help though. I don’t know.”

“Okay, well, I think you made the right choice.” Luke said, then when Ben looked at him questioningly he added, “Waiting I mean. With your Omega ‘friend’. If its meant to be he’ll wait for you. Biting is just formalising what your heart knows anyway.”

* * *

“So….” Thanisson sang from the sofa, his skinny dressing gown clad body draped across the cushions like some 1920s movie starlet. “Where have  _ you  _ been?”

Armitage ignored him and focused on taking his coat off. The cold was really making his hands shake. Definitely the cold. Nothing else.

“You didn’t come home last night.” Dopheld added without looking up from his reading.

“Oh, hi Maratelle, I didn’t recognise you without the horrible wig and fat suit, oh no wait, you’re not my stepmother.” 

“We were only worried.”

“Speak for yourself, I couldn’t give a fuck,” Thanisson said. He grinned. “Speaking of fucking, is that Alpha I smell?”

He hadn’t thought of that. Fuck. He should have showered at Ben’s. He’d stopped noticing the sensation of old cum and slick on his thighs sometime in the middle of packing but now he was abruptly aware of how gross he actually felt. 

Dopheld sniffed and finally turned to stare at him with a mildly horrified look on his face.

Armitage might as well be wearing a neon sign around his neck. 

If Thanisson’s grin got any wider the top of his head would probably fall off. 

“I’m glad you finally took my advice,” he said, “now we don’t have to listen to you whimpering through your heats in the bathroom any more. It’s great to scratch that itch properly, isn’t it?”

“Not that my cycle is any of your goddamn business, but its not a heat thing okay, just. Leave me alone.”

Thanisson frowned, apparently confused by something, but after a few moments he shrugged. Clearly whatever it had been wasn’t worth his limited brain power. 

“Whatever,” he shrugged. “Try not to trail Alpha stank home in future though, Dopheld might think about sex for the first time in his miserable life and combust.”

“You needn’t worry about that.” Armitage snapped and stomped up the stairs. “Arsehole!”

It wasn’t the best comeback ever, but he was tired. He’d do better tomorrow. 

“Not my arsehole we’re talking about here, Armitage!!” Thanisson shouted after him.

“Fuck off!” Not much better. Why he’d ever agreed to live with that prick he really didn’t know. 

“Armitage?” Dopheld said from far too close behind him. 

The noise of surprise he made definitely wasn’t a yelp.

“Sorry.”

“We need to get you a fucking bell,” Armitage said oncehis heart rate returned to something like normal. 

“Are you all right?”

Armitage stared at the younger Omega for a moment, weighing his options. Unlike Thanisson Dopheld wasn’t fueled entirely by gossip, but he was a little… well, ‘prudish’ was probably the word. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t judge Armitage for his behaviour.

Then again, he didn’t exactly have anyone else to talk to about his life. Everyone else at the D&D game was too close to Ben, and most of them were Betas- they wouldn’t understand. And his family was just…  _ no _ .

He pushed open his bedroom door and gestured inside.

Dopheld nodded a little as he stepped into the room, then stood carefully not touching anything until Armitage had shut the door and turned on his CD player. 

Judging by his expression Duels’ second album wasn’t to Dopheld’s taste but as long as it stopped Thanisson eavesdropping Armitage didn’t care.

He took a deep breath. “No, ‘Pheld, I’m not alright.”

“I guessed that,” Dopheld said. “Last week you ended up with eight stitches in your head and now you’ve been out all night and come home smelling like…” He paused and corrected whatever he was going to say. “Smell like Alpha. It’s not like you. You don’t even go on dates. Are you mixed up in something? Is someone hurting you?”

Armitage shook his head, amused and horrified by turns at the direction Dopheld’s brain had taken. 

“No, nothing like that. Do you remember Ben?”

“The guy who’s always running around with not enough on.”

“Hah, yeah, that’s him. He’s…” Another deep breath. “He’s sick.”

“Well, he will be, wearing shorts that tiny in December.”

“He has leukemia, Dopheld.”

At least he had the decency to look embarrassed. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry.”  He said before his expression turned thoughtful. “You didn’t sleep with him just because he said he was ill, did you? Some Alphas…”

“I got the stitches passing out during one of his tests, I was in the room when he results. He’s not that kind of Alpha.”

“Sorry, it’s just…”

“I’m neither a slut nor an idiot, okay?” Armitage snapped, fully losing his temper this time.

Dopheld took a step back. At 5’10” he was average Omega height and Armitage’s extra inches always intimidated him. 

“Sorry, I know you mean well. I only found out yesterday that my boyfriend’s so sick he might die, and he already gone back to London where I can’t look after him, so…” Armitage stopped suddenly. 

Dopheld probably thought he was overwhelmed with emotion, but really he’d frightened himself a bit. He’d said ‘boyfriend’. Had they even agreed to that? Were they anything at all right now? Or just two guys who’d fucked and promised to write?

He shuddered at the gentle hand on his arm. 

“It’s okay, I get it,” Dopheld said. “I won’t tell Thanisson. And I’ll try to run interference if he starts harassing you again. I hope your boyfriend gets better. If you need anything let me know.”

Armitage nodded gratefully. “Thanks.”

Dopheld gave his a wane little smile and turned towards the door, then turned back again.

“Look, it’s none of my business but… you were safe weren’t you? You’re not,” he waved towards his neck, “you know?”

“You’re right, it’s not your business.” Armitage replied, then sagged. “But I know how much you worry so- I’ve been on these suppressants since I was fifteen, we’re both clean, he didn’t Mate me, it’s _ fine _ . Now, let’s never talk about my sex life again.”

* * *

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** Made it to London safe.

**Armie Hux:** Good. How’d you manage a six hour drive in four hours?

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** My uncle used to be a fighter pilot. He still drives like he flies.

**Armie Hux:** I hope the rental place enjoys those speeding tickets.

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** LOL

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** This is awkward but

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** ...

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** Are you on the pill or anything?

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** I should have asked last night.

**Armie Hux:** FFS I thought you were breaking up with me then. Yes I take suppressants. 

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** Okay. 

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** My uncle was worried

**Armie Hux:** You told your uncle 

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** …

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** he could smell us x_x

**Armie Hux:** ewwww

**Armie Hux:** well that explains the weirdness

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** No. He’s just like that

**Armie Hux:** Hey Ben

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** Yeah?

**Armie Hux:** I love you. 

**Armie Hux:** Do you mind if I call you my boyfriend?

**Ben ‘Kylo’ Solo:** I’d like that.

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** I love you too. Good night

 

* * *

“Alright, alright!” Armitage shouted as he hurried down the stairs while pulling on a dressing gown and hoping he didn’t trip himself in the process. “Just a minute!”

The postman hammered on the door again. 

“Alright!!” He repeated. The key wouldn’t go in the bloody lock if the door kept shaking like that. 

Finally he hauled the door open and received a stack of parcels directly to the face.

“Bloody hell!!”

“It’s Christmas mate!” The postman called back to him. “Be glad I didn’t chuck ‘em in the snow!” He was already at the gate and gaining speed with every step. 

“Very fucking seasonal!” Armitage said, but the man had vanished. 

Most of the parcels were for Thanisson- he’d been on something of a clothing binge ever since his Beta sugar daddy had offered to take him skiing for Christmas - but there was the usual seasonal care package from Dopheld’s parents in Germany, and surprisingly a parcel for him.

He hadn’t ordered anything, and the only presents he ever got were from Brendol and Maratelle. They always made him open his gifts at their house in accordance with the strict routine- after Christmas dinner, in front of the fire, with his stepsisters and the dogs, all of whom always got more than him. 

The label was printed, so no clue there, and it had been sent in the UK so there was no customs form, and the post mark was smeared. How odd. 

He glanced through the stack one last time, hoping for another letter from Ben. He’d just received one yesterday though, so it wasn’t too disappointing not to find one. 

Since he was already downstairs he took the time to make himself a coffee, and a bagel with salmon cream cheese- the very best thing about Christmas- before he took his breakfast and the parcel back upstairs with him. 

Breakfast in bed was horribly indulgent, but the house was chilly and maybe he deserved a few nice things before he had to go ‘home’ to his parents. 

Ever since Ben had left Armitage had been very productive. Professor Sloane seemed to think he’d gotten a second wind of inspiration, but really he was trying to distract himself. 

True to his word Ben had kept him up to date on his treatment, which is exactly what Armitage had asked for. Unfortunately not being able to ask questions directly to Ben’s doctors meant that Armitage was at the mercy of the internet for answers, and he’d quickly learned what a terrible resource that could be. 

He’d given himself a panic attack so bad he’d almost blacked out when he’d trying to look up the meaning of some of Ben’s stats. 

It didn’t help that Ben wasn’t the best guardian of his own healthcare information. Leia was still overseas but she’d arranged for one of her personal assistants to go with Ben as recordkeeper and chaperone, which Ben seemed to have taken to heart. Sometimes the details he gave contradicted one another in the same paragraph let alone between letters. 

Leia’s real identity had been another revelation that had sent Armitage into a panic. 

Of course Ben had talked about her a lot, but it was all such outlandish bullshit that Armitage hadn’t believed it. And of course searching for ‘Leia Solo’ online didn’t bring any results up because as an Alpha she hadn’t taken her husband’s name. 

His boyfriend was the son of one of the scariest politicians in the US, the grandson of a legendary military leader, and part of a two family dynasties that Brendol Hux loathed with a passion. Ben was related to the Naberries _ and _ the Skywalkers. Telling his father he was dating him would be like announcing he was dating Nye Bevan. The old man would probably have a heart attack.

Armitage paused to savour that particular thought.

Not that he’d told Brendol anything particularly material about his life over the last decade or so. He certainly wouldn’t mention Ben until he was well. His father had a way of sniffing out his weak points and a sick boyfriend would be irresistible to him.

He tried to take another sip of his coffee to wash that second thought away but it was empty. The bagel was gone too.

He really needed to pay more attention. He was pretty sure he hadn’t eaten yesterday at all, and there’d been a couple of days this week where he’d forgotten to go to bed. It wasn’t healthy. 

Leaning over to place his mug and plate on the floor he jostled the mystery parcel. Another thing he’d forgotten about. 

He opened the padded envelope with care- he didn’t remember ordering anything so if it was a mistake he wanted to be able to send it back easily. 

Three presents wrapped in lux metallic paper tumbled into his lap along with a card in a pale blue envelope. His favourite colour.

He recognised the flowing handwriting immediately. 

Tearing open the card he found another ink drawing, this time of Kylo and Techie curled up by a campfire together. Techie had hung flowers on Kylo’s horns- flowers Armie recognised as in-game aphrodisiac. He laughed as he opened it.

**Dear Armie,**

**I know I only wrote you this morning, but I wanted to send you something that was purely festive. Just for us.**

**We never talked about exchanging gifts. I hope this okay. Two of these I bought just because I saw them and I thought of you. The third is a little more personal and I really hope you’ll forgive me for it.**

**Designations have always been a touchy subject- I know you’ve never been much for Omega stereotypes and I try not to be the big dumb Alpha- I can already see the look of disbelief on your face Armie but I am** **_trying_ ** **. Anyway. I was thinking about what you said, about thinking about me in your heats. I’ve heard that Omegas living away from their Alphas like to keep their Alphas clothes on hand, to help them feel safe.**

**I can’t be there with you Armie but I wanted to make you feel like I was. This is my very favourite shirt. I’d likeif you could look after it for me until I can come get it back. I’ve worn it a lot this week so it should smell like me, but if that whole scent thing is a load of horseshit then you can totally wash it.**

**I’ll be thinking of you,**

**Always**

**Ben**

By the time he reached the end of the letter he had tears running down his face despite his best efforts not to let it affect him. 

Ben had spent a week doing something nice for him- even when he was sick. Who knew he could be so sweet.  _ And  _ he’d independently had the same idea as Armitage, which made the whole thing even more romantic. 

Had been received the gift Armitage had sent yet? It had only been two days so maybe not.

He hesitated, unsure whether to open the presents now. On the one hand it wouldn’t be Christmas for another few days. On the other he couldn’t really risk opening an Alpha-scented shirt in Brendol’s house. The other two were clearly more rigid so whatever they were they should be okay- he could open the shirt now and save the rest.

The shirt was huge. It had once been black but had faded to a soft grey with constant wear. Across the chest was the legend “Lawful Good Doesn’t Mean Nice” in fancy gothic script. It was the single most Kylo thing he’d ever seen. It was perfect.

He brought it up to his lips to kiss the fabric. The first breath ran straight to his cock. Holy fuck, whatever Ben had heard had only been half right. He’d have to wait for his next heat to see if it helped with that but right now, well, Armitage hadn’t felt this turned on in weeks.

Out of the corner of his eye he spied to mirror on his wardrobe.

He should probably try the shirt on. To see how it looked. And take a photo to send to Ben too. 

He’d already sent him a gift, but what harm could there be in sending one more thing to cheer him up?

* * *

Ben was dozing on the couch in his room when his phone buzzed to announce a new email.

He peered at it, weighing up whether it’d really be worth the effort to pick it up.

He was having an odd sort of day- yesterday had been the last in a set of chemo treatments that had left him feeling wrung out and weird. Almost like his skin didn’t fit anymore. The last few nights be hadn’t been sleeping properly but he’d still felt too out of sorts to stay in bed once he woke up. 

His parents were still out of town- and yet also ‘eager to get back to him’- but Luke was in the house. Apparently his uncle was under orders not to leave him alone for two long. As an adult that had seemed a little insulting at first, but after his first serious dizzy spell Ben had found his presence in the building vaguely comforting. 

So, feeling off and uncomfortable on his own, for the first time in a long time Ben had sought out Luke’s company. 

It hadn’t ended well. Luke had invited him to meditate, a technique he’d never really mastered as a young teen when Luke had first tried to teach him. Back then Luke had found it to be an invaluable building block in the process of coming to terms with losing his hand. He’d often credited meditation with getting him back to full health and had made a career of promoting it along with other religious practices.

Teenage Ben had struggled with the level of concentration involved, but if anything he’d done even worse this time. Mindfulness was not for him. Not right now at least.

Focusing on his body and thus being fully, horribly aware of his pain wasn’t a good idea. Neither was feeling all the strength he’d lost. It had seemed like he was sensing the cancer and the chemotherapy battling inside him in real time. Even though rationally he knew that wasn’t possible he still couldn’t cope with it. 

Instead he’d argued with Luke, thrown a vase because it was the nearest thing at hand, and stormed out. Not his finest moment but Luke had a way of getting to him. 

He’d soon forgotten all about his anger though because on the way to his room he’d run into Leia's secretary with the mail.

There’d been a parcel in there for him. For one awful moment he’d thought it was the package he’d sent to Armite somehow come back to him.

Closer inspection revealed Armie’s oddly robotic handwriting. Oh. He’d sent him a gift too. 

Ben had torn it open right then and there, not giving a singlefuck about his lingering audience. 

Inside was a card with the krampus printed on it. Armie had written “Kylo’s winter gig” written across the top. The thin wrapping paper ripped easily and a huge dark grey scarf so soft it was like holding a cloud tumbled out. The wool smelled faintly of Armie.

**To Ben, because I can’t wrap you in my arms right now. Love forever, Armitage**

Direct and to the point. It was perfect.

Ben had taken it directly up to his room where he’d laid wrapped up in ever since.

Now he was too comfy even to check his phone. Well, it could be Armie. He should probably look.

He snaked his hand out of his blanket cocoon and languidly typed in the lock code.

**Thanks for the gift [8 Attachments]**

Huh. Armie must have liked the things he sent. 

Oh. Oh wow.

Armie  _ really  _ liked his gift.

Even though he’d been alone in his room for hours Ben still checked there was no one watching him before he scrolled down.

He’d never realised how hot Armie would look in that shirt. To be honest he’d imagined it being so big it would swamp him and make him look cute- he’d forgotten that Armie was only two inches shorter than him when he stood up straight.

The sight of that perfect little Omega cock jutting out from beneath the hem of his favourite shirt was truly blessed.

Ben was too exhausted to do anything with the pictures right now but he promised himself he’d enjoy them properly soon. Once the side effects of his treatment wore off

He scrolled back through the photos again to admire Armie’s blush.

Real soon.

He’d give it his full attention real soon…

He drifted off again with his phone held against his heart.

* * *

Christmas with his family had been just as awful as always, but somehow they’d managed to make the annual New Years Eve party had been even worse.

His middle step-sister’s boyfriend had proposed during the countdown, which allegedly ‘ruined’ his oldest step-sister’s life and was ‘the worst thing to even happen in the entire history of the family’. 

Until half an hour later when the new fiancé was caught in a closet with youngest step-sister.

At which point Armitage had just gone to bed. He didn’t need that kind of shit in his life.

Thankfully he’d then missed the arrival of the police when the row between his father and the new fiancé turned physical. 

From his point of view this was all pretty much far for the course, although he had been surprised to hear the next morning that his middle step-sister had still left with her fiancé despite him snogging her sister not one hour earlier. 

He’d never understand Maratelle’s brood. 

If he didn’t have such a graphic imagination he’d wonder what sort of horrible things his stepmother had caught his father doing only to forgive him later. If there was ever a couple who deserved each other...

Being back at university was a relief.

Well, for the first few days at least. 

January was always terrible. The first year students were always wracked with self doubt; everyone was drowning in debt; freelance work had dried up unless he wanted to write think pieces about seasonal depression; most of the campus had a mental - and probably physical- hangover from the stress of the holidays that would drag on for weeks; and the weather was fucking awful.

He could almost cope with everything else if the weather were okay, but this year it was the icing on a very shitty cake indeed. 

Why people sang about ‘a winter wonderland’ in December when the season didn’t really start until January he didn’t know. There was nothing wonderland-like about winter! 

The roads, the river, his hands - everything was frozen all the time. Including the water pipes into the house, which had promptly ruptured, flooding the kitchen, which in turn took out the central heating. He woke up that particular morning to find ice forming on the  _ inside _ of his bedroom window. 

None of which helped the other perpetual bane of university living- the sickness. Everyone had gone home for the holidays and picked up a whole new batch of illnesses to share with the class. 

Each group he taught seemed to have its own distinct strain of the flu. Those who avoided the full blown thing still found themselves streaming with colds and since no one wanted the black mark of missing even one seminar Armitage found himself being coughed on from dawn to dusk. 

Ben had definitely made the right decision by going home. 

Armitage wasn’t sick himself beyond a low level fever, loss of appetite, and a little muscular pain. His housemates hadn’t been so lucky- Dopheld had ended up delirious in bed for three days, while Thanisson turned into some kind of melodramatic snot demon. There was no way he could have been around Ben while still living around  _ that _ all the time. 

The best he could hope for was a chance to visit in the break between the spring and summer term. Hopefully everyone would be well by the beginning of March so there’d be less risk of him trailing any infections down to London.

Assuming Ben was healthy enough to see him by then. 

March seemed like a lifetime away.

* * *

“If you’ve woken up in a bad mood today you can take solace in knowing you’re not the only one! Today is the 19th January, or Blue Monday, statistically the most depressing day of the year!”

How the newscaster had managed to say that sentence with such near-satanic glee Ben didn’t know, nor did he particularly care. He’d heard this exact same ‘story’ several times already this morning. Clearly nothing else of any interest was happening anywhere on the entire planet if he had to listen to this drivel on repeat.

He gave the television the finger as a brightly coloured graph about failed New Years resolutions filled the screen, then muttered a ‘sorry’ to the nurse who happened to be passing by at the time. 

“Not you, just the shit on the TV,” he explained, then turned his head against the back of his chair in search of a more comfortable position. Such a position didn’t exist but he had to try, and at least staring at the wall was better than watching the news.

Usually he brought his ipod with him but he’d forgotten to charge it. Just the thought of reading a physical book was exhausting, and he knew from experience now that he couldn’t write to Armie under these conditions. 

The same nurse came over and quietly switched the IV bag feeding into the port he’d had installed below his right collarbone. Apparently that was the safest side for him but it did make writing uncomfortable. But then, what did he even have to say? Armie didn’t need to hear about this.

The clinic felt like the waiting room to hell- a large bare space with chairs positioned all around the edges, each one containing a patient receiving intravenous treatment. 

He tried not to look at anyone else, half out of respect for their privacy and half out of fear. Everyone had different drugs hung up beside them, no doubt everyone had a different condition, treatment plan, and prognosis, but he couldn’t stop comparing other peoples progress with his own. 

The first round hadn’t given good enough results. 

Finding that out just days before Christmas had been a blow that he’d really hoped his parents would be home to soften, but they didn’t make it back until after he’d already endured a full day of Luke trying to impart his particular brand of wisdom. 

So he hadn’t been in the best place when Leia was finally in the same room with him. 

She’d wanted to hug him. 

Ben had screamed in her face every ounce of loneliness and abandonment in his soul. 

They’d barely been able to speak to one another for most of the next day, until she’d come into his room after hearing him throw up and he’d ended up curled against her side sobbing like a child. 

All he’d wanted was his mom, and he hadn’t had that for so long.

In a way he still didn’t. She cared, he  _ knew _ she cared, but she was both an Alpha and leader. Her adoptive parents had raised her to believe that everything could be fixed if you just tried hard enough, so she’d thrown herself into trying to fix his health. 

It didn’t help. 

There was a known process and he had to at least try to go through the first few steps before they tried anything experimental. He trusted his doctors to deal with the medicine- what he wanted was support. 

When treatment restarted in the first week of the year Leia had come with him everyday at first. But her phone never stopped ringing and she was repeatedly asked to leave to take her calls. The people who were calling were never anyone she could ignore. Eventually she’d stopped coming.

He hadn’t been a great conversationalist anyway. But he missed having someone beside him. 

It wasn’t fair that Armie wasn’t here. Armie would have found a way to sit quietly and make him feel relaxed with the minimum of fuss. 

Ben turned his face a little further to the side, breathing deeply into the scarf Armie had sent him. Maybe one day soon they’d find a way for him to be here. Even if it was only for a few hours.

* * *

In the beginning the letters had come almost every day.

Armitage still had them all in a box by his bed- pages and pages of ramblings about D&D, complaints about his uncle, stilted updates about his health, and long flowing dissertations about anything under the sun.

After Christmas they’d begun to change. Ben had mentioned in the vaguest terms that the treatment hadn’t worked and he was trying something else, but whatever they were doing  made his focus slip. 

Sentences were shorter, or ended abruptly. Sometimes Ben would change subject without warning, like a record skipping several loops. It was a little distressing to read. So was the change in his handwriting. 

Ben’s love of calligraphy had been a surprise-  one that Armitage had very much appreciated. But it took physical effort and Ben’s lines had soon lost their regularity. 

In one of the now rare photos he’d sent of himself Armitage had noted the medical ‘port’ device fitted into Ben’s chest. He’d mentioned it before but without seeing it Armitage hadn’t really understood what the word meant. Apparently they were better than normal needles for long term use, but the extra bruising didn’t look comfortable. 

No doubt that and the exhaustion of the treatment were the reasons for all the change, but looking at his much thinner frame in the photo it had felt like every aspect of Ben was melting away in front of him and there was nothing Armitage could do.

That seemed to be the story of his life right now - there was nothing he could do. 

February had brought deep snow and some kind of stomach bug that Armitage just couldn’t shake. 

Outbreaks of norovirus were practically annual events on campus, and in a shared household it was pretty much impossible to avoid once one person had it. All three of them had been felled in a matter of hours.

That had been a hellish week. In the end they’d burned most of their bedding in a makeshift backyard bonfire because none of them could face the task of trying to get everything clean.

But while Dopheld and Thanisson has sprung back, Armitage was still feeling unwell weeks later. The exhaustion and muscle pain he’d felt before Christmas remained and his lack of appetite had become almost total. He just couldn’t stand the thought of food. 

Of course that was natural after Noro- Thanisson probably wouldn’t eat pepperoni for years now but Armitage was finding the smell of even the blandest foods nauseating. Even Dopheld’s morning toast made him puke. 

It was ridiculous. He knew he should do something about it before he lost too much weight. He could hide the changes now, in the middle of winter when thick sweaters covered a multitude of sins, but if this went on into the spring he’d start to lose his credibility. 

He’d always been thin. His father had once compared his physique to that of a lollipop so he’d worn bulky clothes ever since, but beyond that he hadn’t really thought about it. He had better things to do and Ben liked the way he looked. 

Getting too waif like wasn’t an option though- his height was a distraction from his designation as an Omega but that wouldn’t be enough to keep the Alphas in his department from patronising him if he looked like a scarecrow.

Armitage sighed and decided to take a walk into the city.

There was some kind of cultural market on. At least there he might find something that appealed to him and maybe it’d give him something to talk to Ben about in his next letter. 

He was running out of topics. He hadn’t mentioned the norovirus- why complain about being ill when Ben was going through so much himself? Ben wasn’t all that interested in his research, Armitage didn’t know anything about sport, and D&D brought up too many painful thoughts. 

Occasionally Ben sent a letter as Kylo for him to read to the adventuring party, but Tiaan was in the final manic stretch of his thesis and Rose was on some extended research trip overseas, so they didn’t meet all that often anymore.

Armitage hadn’t told Ben that either. He was hoping it’d pick up next term, or at least next year when Tiaan joined the faculty as he was almost guaranteed to do.

By then Ben would be back and everything would be fine. 

* * *

Ben didn’t remember how he’d ended up in this bed.

Moving as best he could with an aching neck he tried to look around the room. All he could see were white curtains, and a white ceiling, and a lot of machines at the edge of his field of vision. No one else was here.

He took a deep breath, trying not to panic, but the dryness of his throat set him into a coughing fit that shook the bed and made stars flash in front of his eyes. 

In the distance he heard running feet on tile but the effort of coughing had drained him so much that he blacked out before anyone entered the room.

* * *

There was a nurse standing by the bed the next time he woke. She was checking a chart against the machines but his eyes wouldn’t focus on the words.

She smiled at him when she realised he was awake. 

He wasn’t sure if he managed to smile back.

Where before the room had been silent now there was a constant hum of activity, like a door had been opened into a corridor beyond the curtains. 

People were talking.

It took him a while to recognise his mother’s voice amongst the noise, and even longer to understand the words.

“He fell down the stairs, Han, why was no one at home with him?!” 

The reply was unintelligible, his father’s habitual mutter overrun by everything else.

“You know where I was. That wasn’t the point, forget about all your bullshit for a while and look after our... what do you mean it’s because I’m an Alpha?! This has nothing to do with you being a Beta and everything to do with his four broken ribs! He could have died!”

Just like he was nine years old again Ben closed his eyes and tried to burrow under his blanket to block it all out. He wanted to cover his ears to but now mother had mentioned it the pain in his chest was far too strong to risk it. 

Curtains swished for a moment.

“Excuse me!” A stranger’s voice cut in. “This is a hospital! And your son is awake if you’d stop bickering long enough to see him.”

Ben managed a smile this time. That nurse must have been an Omega because she sounded exactly like Armie.

* * *

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** still alive

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** It’s been a week!

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** What happened?!

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** I couldn’t find the number for your house so I tried to call your mum’s work

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** I think I’m on some kind of fbi watchlist now

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** Are you okay?

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** I rolled a 1 at stair climbing

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** That’s not funny

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** kinda funny

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** broke some ribs

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** YOU BROKE YOUR RIBS

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** not all of them

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** some ribs

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** a number of ribs

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** uncosnus for a while

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** come on autocorrect

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** don’t fail me now

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** uncompnus

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** fuck

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** asleep

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** Oh my god Ben

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** I’m okay

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** what does this mean for your treatment?

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** I don’t have to get out of bed or get dressed to have it

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** so that’s a win

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** Please don’t scare me like that again

**Armie** **Hux** **Solo:** At least give me another number where I can reach your family

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** Okay. This is Luke’s [contact details attached]

**Ben ‘My Boyfriend’ Solo:** still coming to see me next week?

* * *

Armitage stared at his phone.

He didn’t know how to answer that. For weeks now he’d been hoping the lingering effects of the norovirus would have worn off, but he still wasn’t feeling right. On the other hand he also missed Ben so much it felt a physical hole had been torn in his chest. He wanted to go, but he didn’t know if he should.

He pressed the call button. This wasn’t a conversation to be had by text.

Ben answered before the second ring.

“Hey, I thought we weren’t gonna do phone calls,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “You know I’m not gonna be able to hang up on you now. You’re gonna be on this call until I’m cured.”

A sob mixed with a laugh in Armitage’s throat.

“I can live with that.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Armitage said. Out of everything  _ that  _ he definitely knew. “I can’t believe you broke your ribs.”

“The stairs snuck up on me…” Ben gave a breathy noise that might have been a laugh. “Did you call just to tell me off?”

“No, there’s a strongly worded letter to follow. I wanted to talk to you about next week.”

“Oh…” Amazing how much sadness and disappointment could go into one little sound.

“I’m not saying I can’t come,” Armitage hurried to reassure him, “but I do need to talk to you about it. There’s been a lot of illness on campus. I had norovirus recently- I disinfected your letters before I sent them and everything but I’m still not right in myself. I don’t think I’m still infectious but aren’t we supposed to wait so many hours after being sick before coming to the hospital?”

Maybe he was smudging the timelines a little bit but Ben didn’t need to know all the gory details. Also Armitage didn’t really want to admit that he’d been ill with a stomach bug for six damn weeks now and still hadn’t gone to the doctor about it.

“You got sick?”

“Yeah... that’s an understatement.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you! And there wasn’t anything you could do. Besides it’s nothing compared to…”

“It’s not the suffering olympics.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should have said.”

“Good, now we’re both absolved of doing stupid shit the other one didn’t know about,” Ben laughed but cut himself off with a hiss of pain. “I’ll talk to my doctors and let you know what they recommend, okay?”

* * *

If Armitage could go forty eight hours without being sick then he could still see Ben.

He was due to get into London at 7:32am on Saturday, the first day of the spring holiday, so that just meant not throwing up from at least that time on Thursday. It wasn’t exactly rocket science.

That should be possible right? 

It wasn’t as if he threw up every day, well, not much.

He’d pretty much given up food at this point anyway, so he just needed to avoid eating or drinking or smelling anything that bothered him for a whole two days. Including travelling into London on public transport... and getting across the city on the tube… 

Okay, maybe this would be more challenging that he’d first thought because just considering getting on the tube was bringing him out in a cold sweat.

He sighed and scrubbed at his face in an effort to focus but all that did was add to the feeling of not properly being in his body. For some reason his beard had turned all soft recently, so the stubble felt weird against his hands. It was like wearing invisible gloves, he hated it.

One hour at a time.

That was all he could do.

Pack now, get on with his work, try not to think about it. 

He made it through Wednesday, and Thursday, without being sick. Friday morning- he wasn’t sick. Last day of term and fighting through campus through the hordes of leaving students- still not sick. Like an average healthy human being he’d managed three days in a row. Now he just needed to get through the night, and the train journey.  _ And then he could see Ben. _

If he were the skipping type he’d have skipped all the way home. 

He wasn’t though, so he walked. 

However he did deliberately take a meandering route through the tree lined streets to admire the new greenary of spring and get some fresh air, like the lovelorn idiot he apparently was. 

How weird that he could hear Vivaldi’s Autumn though. Someone didn’t know how to feed into a dramatic atmosphere…

He stopped. 

The music was his phone ringing. 

**[Incoming Call: Luke Skywalker]**

Armitage felt like his heart had stopped. 

He didn’t want to answer it.

The music stopped… then started again.

**[Incoming Call: Luke Skywalker]**

He couldn’t be a coward forever.

“Hello?”

“Is that ‘Armie’? This is Luke, we met once.”

“Yes, this is Armitage Hux.”

“Ben asked me to call you, there’s been a complication….”

His knees gave out from under him. Armitage sat on the pavement of a old cobbled street, staring at the crocuses just peeking out from under the tree roots, while his boyfriend’s uncle tore his world apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grandpa from Princess Bride voice: the cancer doesn't get him. I thought I'd mention that 'cause you looked a bit worried. No MCD in this one, I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

Armitage wandered home in a daze. The house was empty- Dopheld was on his way to the airport to fly home for a few weeks and Thanisson had been driven off in a convertible two days earlier going god knows where. It felt weird to be alone right now, even though he’d been expecting it.

Maybe it was the atmosphere. Armitage had been planning on an early night- assuming he could sleep through his excitement- before walking through the city at 4am. Now he didn’t know what to do with himself. His bags were packed and in the hallway, his room was tidy, all his papers and laptop were neatly locked away in the safe.

The house didn’t feel lived in right now, even though he was in it.

He wasn’t alive. He was just existing.

The bed sagged slightly as he sat down. He didn’t remember coming up stairs.

They’d been so careful about limiting Ben’s exposure to common illnesses, but there was always a risk of infection from other sources. The port in Ben’s chest was meant to make the delivery of his treatment easier, but it was an open wound. Somehow an infection in the skin there had travelled to his broken ribs. Armitage wasn’t a doctor, and Luke hadn’t gone into many details, but it sounded horrible.

Ben had a fever, he had trouble breathing comfortably, and the antibiotics made eating more difficult. He’d already experienced problems with his mouth from his existing medications, so adding stomach issues to the mix wasn’t ideal.

All of that coupled with the low success rate of his chemotherapy meant his life was in serious danger. If he was stabilised he may well be leaving the country for treatment elsewhere.

For a word with only two letters ‘if’ held far too much power.

Luke hadn’t said it outright but if Ben wasn’t stabilised he simply wouldn’t make it.

Armitage sat alone on his bed, still wearing his coat and shoes, until the sky outside began to lighten again.

In his pocket his alarm rang, getting him up for a train he didn’t need to catch any more.

Part of him tried to rebel and insist he go to London anyway, as if he could stand outside the hospital with a boombox over his head like John fucking Cusack, but he knew that was a stupid idea. The same went for going to London as a tourist. He knew how little self control he had- he’d end up at the hospital anyway.

He turned off the alarm.

He should get up.

Instead he stayed where he was until lunchtime, when his bladder just wouldn’t let him stay still any more.

The rest of the day passed by somehow. He went into the living room, intending to turn on the television, but two hours later he was still sitting there holding the remote. The screen was still blank.

* * *

A different white room. This one was a single suite, with a curtain across the door rather than dividing the whole space. To Ben’s left was a window. From where he lay he couldn’t see anything outside but sky.

The weather was grey and miserable. So he was probably still in England then.

He could hear his mother just outside the door again. Apparently she held all her conversations there these days.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” she said in her special talking-to-idiots-on-the-phone voice. “Why are you paying out my son’s life insurance? He isn’t dead!”

Ben hadn’t even known he _had_ life insurance.

There was a pause while she listened to the answer. Then Leia said, “so you payout early in the event of a terminal diagnosis?”

The room swam around Ben as his heart stuttered to a halt. What? He pinched his leg, hoping like hell this was a dream.

Now his leg hurt too.

Outside the door his mom’s voice was steadily raising. “And where the hell did you get that information from? Who gave you that diagnosis, because I certainly didn…”

“Leia.”  That was Han.

Ben didn’t hear Han say anything else but he heard the slap that rang through the corridor like a thunderclap.

He felt physically sick and the room was moving too much for him to concentrate enough on the next few seconds of shouting to understand what was being said, but with a tremendous effort of will he made himself focus again.

“You _know_ I don’t believe in listening to the odds,” Han said with unusual force.

Ben couldn’t see him but he just knew Han was holding Leia in place to make his point. He could tell by the gritted-teeth undertone of Han’s words. Knowing Leia she was probably kicking him in the shins anyway.

“Look,” Han went on, “if someone gets less than a year to live the policy pays out as if they died, _but if they don’t die_ they don’t have to pay it back! Ben’s a fighter. We both know that- female Alpha with a male Beta, even being born in the first place he beat the odds. I know he can beat this. And when he does he’s gonna come out of it set up for life. We’ll always be there for him but he won’t need to rely on us. He’s gonna come out of this stronger than he went in. I don’t care what the odds say- that’s what I believe.”

When Leia finally replied it sounded like she was crying. “Han do you know how unlikely…”

“I don’t care.”

“Ben’s doctors said our son was going to die and an actuary who’s entire job is predicting death _agreed with them_! How can you not see what was wrong with that?!”

Alone in his room Ben stared at the ceiling and thought about all the times Han had bet big. And all the times he’d lost everything.

* * *

It was late on Sunday morning when Armitage realised he hadn’t eaten anything since Friday. But not just that.

He was _hungry_.

The sensation was so unfamiliar that it actually confused him for a while.

He’d genuinely laid in bed wondering what was wrong with him, and had even gone so far as poking his belly in an effort decipher what he was feeling.

That had been weird- both the action and what he’d found. After weeks of barely eating he was getting a bit too thin- visible ribs and jutting hip bones- yet for some reason his belly was kind of hard and swollen. Like he’d somehow eaten a water balloon whole.

His brain tried to remind him of the feeling of fullness after Ben had knotted him. He rejected that thought, and the memory of the dream he’d had afterwards. His heart hurt far too much to think about Ben in that context right now.

Standing up he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Wearing only his pyjama bottoms he looked like a cross between a scarecrow and a famine victim. His beard was unkempt and his hair was a rats nest of grease but his stomach really was swollen. Fuck. That couldn’t be good.

A quick search for ‘starvation + swollen belly’ online told him he was low on protein specifically. Not that it made much difference- there was literally no food in the house so he’d have to have gone out anyway, but at least now he knew what to start with.

He showered first though. Seeing his reflection had been a wake up call. He was determined to make an effort and look after himself. He’d be no good to Ben if he ended up in hospital too.

Initially he’d planned to shave the beard off- six days of growth had produced quite a luxurious beard, but once he’d washed his face he was amazed at how soft it felt. His hair was longer too, and turning a little blonde at the edges. It was a nice look. A little older. A little more sophisticated.

His clothes didn’t fit right. That had probably been the case for a while now but he hadn’t really been paying attention to the physical realm. His body was just a vessel to get him from one stressful scenario to another.

Just like he was back in high school he pulled an oversized sweater over the whole mess. He had all of the spring holiday to eat healthily and get himself in order.

Walking into town Armitage smelled something wonderful on the wind. It was a real world version of those scent lines coming off a pie in a cartoon- he felt like he was floating towards it in ecstasy.

His stomach actually growled in interest for the first time who knew how long.

He followed the smell with a single minded purpose, elbowing meandering tourists out of his way as he headed for his prize.

What was it?

What was this amazing culinary delight?

Armitage didn’t even stop to look at the sign above the door, he just stormed straight into the building and joined the back of a queue. He’d forgotten it was early afternoon- at this time of year the lunch rush was basically a four hour window thanks to the influx of tourists.

There was nothing else for him to do but wait and look around.

He was in a McDonalds.

This was it. This was the day he finally lost his goddamn mind.

It smelled so good though!

His stomach rumbled so loud that the couple in front of him actually turned to look at him.

Well. Food was food. He could always go and buy healthy food after he bought something here.

Had he ever even been to a McDonalds?

Armitage pondered that as the queue inched forward. Yes, he had. With Ben, at 3am, after a night of heavy drinking at the brewery.

He covered his face in secondary embarrassment at the memory. Ben had bought sixty chicken nuggets and three large milkshakes, and then he’d gone back for more.

“What can I get you?” The server asked him with a plastic smile.

Desperate for food his stomach apparently took direct control of his mouth because Armitage replied, “twenty nuggets, a large fries and a banana milkshake,” with no conscious thought at all.

To be honest it was a little bit terrifying.

“What sauces? The nuggets come with four.”

“Uhhhh…” Okay, so his stomach couldn’t manage that level of detail. Unhelpfully it growled again. Feeling embarrassed he put his hand on it as he stared up at the screens.

The server looked him up and down for a second, then her smile turned genuine. “I’ll put you one of each in.”

“Oh,” Armitage blinked in confusion at the kindness. “Uh, thank you.”

Despite the crowds he managed to find a small table to himself against a wall where he could eat in peace.

He still wasn’t sure he’d actually manage to eat this much food.

He’d start small- one chip.

It tasted so good he almost moaned out loud.

There were seven different dips. That seemed excessive. He decided to play it safe and try the ketchup first. Not great. Just the smell of the sweet and sour made him feel sick, and the same for the sour cream. Sweet chilli was okay.

The sweet curry was amazing.

Feeling bolder he tried a piece of chicken and did actually make a noise of pleasure. He covered his mouth in embarrassment but no one else seemed to notice.

Finally he risked the milkshake. He hadn’t had a banana milkshake since he was a child.

And clearly he’d been missing out all these years. Oh, it was so good.

Soon the meal was almost gone- just one chicken nugget, a little of the sauce, and the last dregs of milkshake that he couldn’t quite get out with the straw.

If he’d thought he’d gone mad before it was nothing compared to what his mind told him to do now.

He looked around. No one was watching.

Moving carefully, like he was committing some terrible crime, Armitage carefully removed the lid from the milkshake cup and dipped the nugget in the thin layer of yellow drink at the bottom.

He took a bite. Nice, but not quite right.

With the final morsel he scraped up the last of the milkshake and then dipped the nugget into the sauce.

Heaven.

This was heaven served in a cardboard box. Never before or since had he tasted a food as good as this.

A hand touched his shoulder and he almost levitated out his seat in fright.

“Oh, sorry, I just wanted to give you these,” the server said quietly, placing a stack of about a dozen sweet curry sauce cups by his elbow. “I know those cravings.” She winked at him and walked away.

He had no idea what she meant, but he could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment. As quickly as he could he fled the McDonalds, but not without pocketing the sauces first.

Armitage swore he wouldn’t ever return to that fast food outlet.

He made it a whole three days before he was back and ordering the exact same thing.

* * *

Ben had no idea what day it was anymore. The sun was streaming in through his window so it was daytime but that was about as far as he could get temporally speaking.

He was sleeping a lot, half as a result of his meds and half because he didn’t want to be awake to feel his body or think of anything.

In the brief periods when he was awake he found he couldn’t do much. Leia had managed to get a TV and DVD player set up by his bed so he could watch movies he actually liked instead of the crappy pay-per-view channels the hospital piped in, but he couldn’t really concentrated on them.

Princess Bride was on right now but he didn’t remember if he’d started watching it earlier and fallen asleep or if a nurse had put it on as background noise.

Armie was still writing to him- Luke read the letters to him, something Ben had had to text Armie to warn him about because hearing his uncle read love notes wasn’t something he wanted to experience too often- but Ben wasn’t really able to write back any more. The most he could do was send the occasional incoherent text messages and strings of <3 when he couldn’t formulate anything else.

It was lonely but at least he didn’t really know how long he’d been like this. He felt like it was probably more than a few days now but if he didn’t ask anyone then he wouldn’t know. Ignorance was bliss.

* * *

The new term was starting, exams were coming up for most of his students, there were dissertations to help with, his health was still fucked and Ben was going downhill fast.

To say that Armitage Hux was stressed would be to say the surface of the sun was a little bit warm.

He’d been run off his feet doing lesson prep for the whole last week of the break, so much so that he hadn’t seen either of his housemates since they got back. But he saw the evidence of their return in Thanisson’s trashing of the living room and Dopheld’s reorganisation of the fridge.

Someone- probably Dopheld- had put a post-it note with a question mark on it on his stash of McDonald sauce packets, so he’d moved those to the security of his room before they got thrown in the bin. He hated when things got moved without warning

Just like his coat was mysteriously missing from its peg this morning. Hed searched for it to no avail and now he was late for a meeting with Professor Sloane, so despite the April showers he was just going to have to brave the walk without it.

To be honest his low grade fever seemed to have returned because he felt constantly hot, but he still didn’t have time to go to the doctor about that, or about his stomach, which had now turned into some ridiculous beer belly thanks to the return of his appetite, but oh god there weren’t enough hours in the day, and why was it suddenly so hard to climb the stairs of the engineering department tower, and why did Professor Sloane’s office have to be on the top floor…

“Oh my god!” There was a crash as Professor Sloane dropped a full cup of coffee. “Armitage?!”

He stood frozen when- instead of paying attention to the broken crockery and liquid soaking into her office carpet- his advisor bolted across the room towards him. Without warning he was hauled further into the room by his bicep and the door was slammed shut behind him.

For just an instant he saw the confused faces of the rest of the department staring at the door before the blinds shut with a snap.

“Professor Sloane, what’s wrong?!” He asked somewhat indignantly.

Instead of answering she seemed to be searching his face for something- her eyes flicked constantly to his own but without ever properly meeting his gaze. She was still loosely gripping his arm so he had no choice but to stand there and be examined.

Finally she sighed, a great heavy noise of disappointment, as she stepped back to study the rest of him.

All at once he remember his lack of coat. He was dressed only a button down shirt, without his usual shoulder padding and added bulk to hide his frame. Embarrassment washed over him as he glanced down. Without really meaning to do it he pulled free of her grip to wrap his arms self consciously around his middle.

In all the stress of the last few months he'd let himself go to the point his appearance wasn’t smart enough to be seen on campus.

Even if his pot belly was medical it wasn’t a good look on a 25 year old otherwise at the peak of health- and he was certain it _was_ medical since his limbs hadn’t kept pace with the weight gain, though his chest was showing signs of catching up. He should have gone to a doctor weeks ago.

“Who is he?”

Armitage almost named his GP then because he was so caught up in his own thoughts, but he managed to catch himself at the first syllable.

“... what?”

She sighed again. One hand was massaging the bridge of her nose but the other had her own elbow in a death grip as if she was physically restraining her from striking him.

“Of all my students I never expected _you_ to be the one to do something this… foolish,” another sigh. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t suspect this last term, but I suppose I let your good reputation cloud my judgement. You’re not the first- not even this academic year- and I’ll do my best to keep you from being forced out of the department... ”

There wasn’t anything Armitage could do but gape at her. This was like one of those stereotypical nightmares people talked about- showing up unprepared for a final exam or realising you were naked in class.

“What? Why?!” It was a pathetically plaintive cry and one that seemed entirely justified. He was facing expulsion? Was that what she was saying? “What?”

The look of exasperation she levelled at him could have shamed paint off a wall. “You have to be honest with me, Armitage, or I can’t help you.”

“I don’t know what I need to be honest about!”

“That!” She pulled his arms away from his belly, startling him into taking a step back. No one had laid hands on him like that since he grew too tall for his father to risk pushing him around any more. It was horrible to feel that helpless again.

“Okay, I’ve gained some weight! I’ve had a really shitty year!!”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“My boyfriend has cancer! He had to leave the university! I haven’t been able to see him since November and he might die! I’ve had fucking norovirus, which I haven’t properly recovered from, possible because my goddamn house flooded, and I’ve been so stressed I couldn’t eat for like two months, and now I’ve got my appetite back you’re giving me shit for getting a little fat?!?!”

He stopped, panting and red faced as he realised exactly how inappropriate he was being, but instead of shouting at him Professor Sloane just looked sad.

“Armitage, I’m sorry about your boyfriend, but you… you need to face reality because frankly you’re frightening me now.” She reached out and gripped his wrist- her fingers easily went around his arm with plenty of overlap. “You’re not fat, are you?”

He looked at where she was holding him, and then looked down at his torso. His abdomen wasn’t huge, but it was putting strain on the buttons of shirt, as was the upper part of his chest. He looked back at his wrist.

“Have you looked in a mirror recently? The beard goes some way towards hiding it but you look seriously undernourished.” She paused and tried to twist her face into something like a smile. “Remember, I went to university with your father, I know what a Hux looks like he gets fat.”

There was a thought at the edge of his brain but every time he tried to think it, he just felt more and more panicked. He could feel panting turning into hyperventilating but apparently there was nothing he could do to stop it.

* * *

Ben woke to the sound of rain and his mother stroking his hair.

He felt, if not well, _alert._ His limbs still ached and he was weak as a kitten but he could think clearly without the bouts of grogginess that had plagued him before. He felt cooler as well, like walking into an air conditioned airport after weeks in a tropical jungle.

“Hi,” Leia said.

“Hi.” He reached up to take her hand but she hugged him instead.

When she spoke it sounded like she was crying again but as she kept her face against his chest so he couldn’t really tell for sure.

“They say you’ve beaten the infection, and you should be safe enough to travel…”

“Mom, I don’t want to…”

“Ben, we’ve already talked about this.” She interrupted softly. “Three times, darling. I know you don’t remember. You’ve been so sick. But I promise, whoever this boy is that you’re worried about, we can get in touch with him for you. But you _have_ to go to Texas. The doctors here, they can’t give you the treatment you need. One of them will be in here shortly to prep you for the air ambulance. We just, we don’t have a choice any more.”

Now he was crying too. He didn’t remember any of their earlier conversations, which was terrifying, but even at his sickest he’d still be worried about Armie? For some reason that mental image made his heart ache more than he could say.

He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to be so far away.

But if this was the only way he was going to get a chance to live to see Armie again…

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do this.”

* * *

“You really had no idea?”

Professor Sloane reached out and grabbed his other wrist.

At first Armitage couldn’t understand why, but then he realised the room was wavering around him.

“Come on, Armitage, don’t pass out on me now,” Professor Sloane was saying as she manouvred him towards a chair.

He folded gratefully into the seat, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and suddenly, horrifyingly aware of the way his automatically adjusted his legs to accommodate his belly.

“I can’t be pregnant,” he muttered as if he could negotiate with the universe. “I can’t be. I wasn’t in heat. I take suppressants. I can’t…”

“When _was_ your last heat?”

He opened his mouth to answer and felt himself pale. “November…”

“And you got those stitches in your head in December? Did the hospital give you any medication? Anything that might have stopped your suppressants working?”

They had give him painkillers of some kind but he hadn’t bothered to read the packet. He’d just gone through that awful conversation about his sex life while Ben was pretending to be his Mate- he hadn’t felt the need to check when he’d been so sure Ben wasn’t interested.

He’d been so certain he’d never have sex. The suppressants were just to make his heats easier. And suppressants frequently stopped them entirely. He’d never even noticed how many he’d missed.

“I can’t be pregnant,” He said again. “We only…” They’d only done it once, or maybe twice if him riding Ben in a fit of arousal had actually happened… in which case. He only had short heats. Usually less than a day.

He clapped a hand over his mouth as his stomach churned.

“But everyone in the house had norovirus…” He felt suddenly cold and wrapped his other arm around his stomach. “What if that hurt…”

He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘the baby’ out loud but the fear solidified the idea until he just couldn’t deny it any more.

How the hell had he missed this?

“I take it from the word ‘boyfriend’ that you’re not Mated?” Professor Sloane asked quietly.

Armitage shook his head.

“You should go to a doctor, today. Because whatever you decide this is going to be hard on you.” She’d crouched down beside his chair as if there was something conspiratorial about what they were saying that no one else could ever be allowed to hear.

“What do you mean, whatever I decide?”

“You said your boyfriend was ill, maybe dying? An Omega going through a pregnancy alone… Armitage, if you can get to him and have him Mate you…” She sighed again. “You’re between a rock and a hard place- if he dies the stress might kill you, but doing this alone might kill you too and you _will_ be alone. I’m sorry, but the university doesn’t allow unmated pregnant Omegas to continue with their education. You’ll have to leave.”

“What?!” Armitage felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. What kind of nightmare was he living through right now? “I know for a fact they let unmarried Betas to continue their studies, I’ve been in lectures where people have brought their babies in!”

“Betas are Betas,” Professor Sloane said regretfully. “Marriage for them isn’t like Mating for us, it’s a legal contract not a physical and chemical link. I know it isn’t fair, some of us have been fighting for equality for years, but so far… It’s only been half a century since they allowed unmated Omegas onto university grounds at all.”

“It’s evil.” He realised he was crying now, but then he was just an Omega so what could anyone expect from him other than weakness?

“If you can get him to Mate you, I can probably make an argument for you to stay as a widower…”

“He’s not going to die.” Armitage sobbed. “And I’m not going to make him do that. We, already talked about that. No. I won’t risk the shock of all _this_ killing him either,” he gestured towards himself contemptuously.

“If it was conceived in December there’s still time to…” She stopped, letting the unsaid end to that sentence hang in the air.

“NO!” Armitage pushed back, out of the chair and away from her, both arms coming up to wrap around his belly protectively.

“Armitage, you need to actually consider the options!”

“I won’t get rid of this baby.” He covered his mouth again in horror at actually saying it out loud, but he knew that was the truth.

“What about your father?”

If he’d been panicked before the mere mention of Brendol sent him frantic. Professor Sloane had to grab him before he ran out of the office in fright.

“I won’t tell him!” She said once she finally got him to look at her. “But he’s going to find out and you need a plan for that. Okay? Look, I will try to help you, because I know what he’s like, but I need you to calm down. Okay?”

It took him ten minutes to get himself back in some kind of order, during which she retreated behind her desk to ‘do some research’. The distance certainly helped- she was an Alpha and not the Alpha his body knew he needed. His rational mind recognised her as a mentor but his Omega instincts mistook her for a threat.

“I’ve made you an emergency appointment with the Omega specialist over at the campus health centre.” She said once he’d finally stopped shaking. “That’s in half an hour. I have some ideas for… ways I can help you but I need to speak to some contacts first. It might take a few days. Text me and let me know what the specialist says, then stay the hell off campus. I’ll sort out your classes and I’ll come talk to you once I have some news. Is that okay?”

“You know it isn’t,” Armitage said bitterly. “I shouldn’t have to hide.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“No, it is.”

“You’ll do as I ask though?” She sat silently until he nodded. “Take my raincoat. It’s long enough to hide everything while you get across campus. Okay?”

The coat swamped him and his stomach roiled at the scent of Alpha, but it did the job.

“Thank you.” He said at the door, more out of good manners than actual gratitude.

* * *

The Omega specialist ushered him into his office as soon as he checked in- ten minutes before his appointment time. As soon as the door closed he was being gently urged out of his coat and towards an examination bed.

Clearly whatever Professor Sloane had said while booking the appointment the urgency of it had certainly gotten across.

The specialist - Dr Massa - looked and sounded like a kindly grandparent, the sort of person who was designed to comfort the entire world. Even though Armitage hadn’t had a reassuring parent in his life since his mother died, he couldn’t help falling a little under the man’s spell.

“Normally I’d have you do a stick test first,” the man said as he helped Armitage to lay down, “but I can tell from looking at you- that isn’t necessary. You’re either pregnant or... now, I don’t want to frighten you, but I’ve looked at your notes and your mother’s cause of death was Omega factor uterine cancer which _can_ manifest with pregnancy like symptoms. So we’ll start with an ultrasound and see what’s in there…”

“Well, you’ve failed at not frightening me,” Armitage said, his heart rate climbing as cold gel spread across his stomach and…

The sound of a much faster heartbeat filled the room.

“Oh.”

Beside him Dr Massa grinned. “I bet you feel a bit less upset about there being a baby in there now.” He said, while he moved the wand slowly around Armitage’s abdomen.

“That’s a very dirty trick,” Armitage snapped. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, it the man was right.

“It was a genuine but very small concern,” Dr Massa replied without any sign of embarrassment. “Plus I do see a fair few Omegas like you, usually males, who didn’t realise they were pregnant and panic about it. If a dirty trick helps, then it helps… Oh, hello number two.”

“What?”

The tone of the heartbeat had changed. Or rather there was now more than one.

“Twins, one’s settled right at the back. We’ll have to check placenta placement because these aren’t identical. How many times did you have congress during your last heat?”

Armitage felt himself turn red. This was the most embarrassing conversation of his life. “Twice. I think. I didn’t realise it was a heat, they’re usually really short. But I’ve only ever had sex twice so...”

“Hmmm.”

“I take suppressants though! And I didn’t realise painkillers could affect them… And I’ve kept on taking them... will that have caused…” He paused, listening to the heartbeats. If the answer was yes to this question he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“There’s no known fetal side effects with your medication,” Dr Massa said with a smile. “Once you’re pregnant your body just ignores them.”

“I had norovirus too…”

“Also fine, though I am going to weigh you and then if you’re going to keep this pregnancy I’m going to give some _very stern_ instructions on how to get some meat back on you because you’re far too thin.” He poked Armitage’s ribs to highlight the point. “I take it your Alpha isn’t around?”

“He’s in London, he’s very ill. As in… might die.” Armitage bit his lip. “We decided against Mating for that reason.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I want to tell you- you made the right choice. A lot of folks will tell you that doing this alone is hard, and it is, but its not has hard as some Alphas make out. _If_ you want these babies, you can do this- you’re young and you’ll bounce back. If you had Mated only to lose him while you were in this condition…” Dr Massa shook his head sadly. “It wouldn’t end well.”

“Huh. And my doctoral supervisor was telling me to go to London and _make_ him Mate me.”

“Bad advice,” he said with certainty. “But Alphas always think they’re more important than they really are.”

Armitage laughed at that.

Dr Massa put a hand on the edge of the screen that was still facing away from the bed.

“So, do you want to see them?”


	5. Chapter 5

Armitage opened his mouth to say ‘yes’ then paused as his brain started to panic. 

He had told Professor Sloane he wanted to keep the baby, and he’d felt certain of that, but… he’d known about being pregnant for an hour, and he’d known it was twins for only a few minutes. 

A baby was a huge responsibility. Two was insane. His entirely life was going to blow up if he did this. His PhD, his reputation, maybe even his ability to continue in his field with just a Masters- being a single Omega parent would hang over all of that. 

He needed to think this through sensibly, which would take hours… if he looked at them would that make things even harder?

The sound of their heartbeats had stopped since the wand wasn’t touching him anymore, but it was still echoing around his head. 

After his upbringing Armitage had no map for this. He’d never dreamed this would happen to him- it had never even featured in his nightmares. Pregnancy was just a vague concept he’d been aware of his whole life, like a far off country he’d never planned to visit. 

“Do you think I should?” He asked, feeling weak for not even knowing the answer to that.  The specialist seemed to be supportive of any option he wanted to take, maybe he could help him know what to do. 

Dr Massa made a gesture that was almost a shrug. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know.” He said honestly. “You said you saw a lot of Omegas like me… how does this usually end?” 

“Son, I’m not gonna tell you a fairy story. Most of the Omegas that come through here are undergraduates, eighteen-nineteen years old and free for the first time- they don’t want to be tied down again. But if the Alpha is still around hormones and instinct kick in so sometimes they change their minds. Sometimes they don’t and that is what’s right for them. But you’re not in their position. You’re older, but Alpha might be out of the picture for good. So don’t you do something just because everyone else does, do it because your heart wants it.”

Armitage swallowed. His heart wanted to have Ben back. His heart wanted it to be September again without any of this ever having happened.

Thinking about Ben made his heart skip a little. His mind made an image of Ben in perfect health and wearing one of those sleeveless shirts, a baby cradle in each ridiculous muscular arm. They’d look so small. And so right.  

“My Alpha…”

“Look, I don’t want to influence your decision, but maybe think about it this way- your boy’s sick.  _ He  _ might not make it…”

“But in a way he’s left me something.”

“Exactly.” Dr Massa smiled. “That’s part of him right there.”

That put into words something he’d been trying to think ever since the Professor had pointed out the obvious to him. These weren’t just any babies- they were Ben’s babies. He wasn’t just pregnant- he was pregnant with Ben’s babies. They’d done this. Together.  

“Show me.”

Nodding happily Dr Massa turned the screen around and picked up the wand again. It took a second or two of wriggling it against his skin before the blur on the screen became something recognisable.  

“This is the baby at the front.” There was some clicking and a few numbers appeared on the screen. “Huh. I’d say nineteen weeks based on development, does that sound right?”

Armitage nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak. 

He hadn’t expected it to look so, well, baby-like. He hadn’t paid a lot of attention to development in class- he’d been fourteen and completely uninterested in Alphas, or child care, at the time- but he’d expected some kind of half formed lump. Omega pregnancies usually last forty four weeks so he’d thought it would be half finished. 

“I’m changing my assessment of your weight to ‘A Concern’ because I’d have estimated fourteen weeks at the absolute most.” Dr Massa went on, making a note as he then panned through each feature in turn. “Head, arms, legs, feet, everything looks normal. We just need to make sure it stays that way. You’re going to be taking so many supplements you’ll rattle. We’ll have to get you a bone density scan six months after delivery too- unfortunately Omega bodies tend to drain off a lot of their own resources to keep their pregnancies health.”

He made another note. The next time he repositioned the wand it took him a while to get a clear image of what was mostly legs.

“Okay, now this is your second stealth baby, who apparently likes hiding out against your spine.” He laughed. “You’re gonna get back ache with this one. A little smaller but within safe tolerances. Feet, legs, rump, arms, head, impressive ears.”

Despite his conflicted feelings Armitage couldn’t help but laugh at that. Had Ben’s mother heard the same? 

“Aww, you’ll like this- I can’t count the fingers because it seems to be sucking its thumb.”

So far the most he’d felt was a sort of detached protectiveness about these two but at that particular image he felt like his whole being had turned warm and soft. He was absolutely keeping them.

“Is it possible to get, uh, pictures? Of that?” He asked, feeling suddenly self conscious after a lifetime of not being terribly sentimental.

“Of course!” Dr Massa positively beamed at the question. “I’ll get you a good shot of the first one too.”

“Do you, do you know what designation they’ll be?” It seemed that Armitage couldn’t speak very clearly around the lump of emotion in his throat. 

“We don’t say any more- it can be difficult to tell, even after they’re born sometimes. You’d be surprised how many Betas come in to see the GP with a ‘fever’ only to end up in here getting prescribed suppressants and a crash course in being an Omega. Plus the number of Omegas who take Beta boyfriends thinking they’ll be safe and then whoops they’re stuck in bed tied by a guy who didn’t know he was an Alpha.”

“Huh, my housemate has a Beta boyfriend…”

“Well, good luck to them!” Dr Massa laughed as he handed over a wad of tissue. “Here, you can wipe the gel off now and get tidied up.”

While the specialist bustled around the room, gathering up leaflets and folders and god knew what, Armitage found himself sitting on the edge of the examination table with his hand on his belly. He should be rebuttoning his shirt but…

There were babies in there. 

This morning he was ill and weirdly shaped, and now  _ there were babies in there _ .

_ BEN’S BABIES! INSIDE! BABIES!! _

He shook his head, entirely embarrassed with himself and his internal monologue for showing him up like this.

Another thought struck him as he finally peeled his hand away from his skin.

“When will I be able to feel them moving?”

Dr Massa paused in the middle of writing up a prescription and glanced at a calendar on his desk. “Internally- pretty soon. You might already have felt something and mistaken it for gastric distress. Try taking a bath and really concentrating. Like I mentioned before- you’ll feel that one at the back first. Externally, it’s gonna be at least another month. Longer if we can get some weight on you.”

Armitage nodded vaguely and wandered over to the desk.

The sheer quantity of paperwork was terrifying. There were dozens of forms as well as brightly coloured leaflets, and a plastic A4 folder decorated with pastel cherubs. Seeing the look on his face the specialist retrieved a discreet manilla envelope from a drawer to hide it all in.

“Get this prescription filled immediately, take everything following the instructions as soon as you get home, then order a takeaway or four and eat them. That’s an order.” He said, complete with admonishing finger wagging. “I want you back here in a week for a check up- fill in all that paperwork and fetch it back. Read everything. Any questions, make a note, and bring those too. The ugly folder is gonna be your best friend- Omegas get care vouchers to use during pregnancy. Food, supplements, clothes, baby goods, pretty much anything you can think of you’ll get help. With twins you’re gonna need it.”

“How the fuck does anyone do all this?” Armitage asked as the feeling of being horribly overwhelmed returned. 

The specialist shrugged. “You’ll work it out.”

Armitage had never heard anything less likely in his life.

* * *

The air ambulance was about as cramped as a normal ambulance but with the added benefits of turbulence and recycled air. It wasn’t very comfortable.

Apparently there had been nicer vehicles available with space for several patients and accompanying family, but with his immune system the way it was sharing wouldn’t have been safe. So Han had found a reputable company run by an old friend of his that could supply the service needed with minimal fuss. At first Leia had been suspicious but it seemed that after the life insurance thing Han was on his best behaviour.

However the size of the plane meant that everyone else had to travel separately. 

Leia hadn’t liked that, so there had been tears at the airport- though at least she was still no-nonsense enough that his parents didn’t actually miss their flight. For a minute there he’d been worried about that. 

In the end they’d opted for a slightly earlier flight to Texas in the hope of meeting him with the hospital’s ambulance once he landed, but of course there was a risk of one or both flights being delayed. He tried not to think about it. 

Even worse there were no inflight movies. There simply wasn’t any where to put a screen over his bed, and sitting up just wasn’t an option right now. The inflight nurse was reading a book in between bouts of checking his stats. She didn’t seem like much of an conversationalist.

A few days ago he would have slept through the entire flight but now the movement of the plane wasn’t letting him rest. When he was still a child his parents had often flown first class but that had been in the days before seats that transformed into beds. He wasn’t used to flying at anything steeper than a lounging angle. It felt weird.

If he kept thinking about how weird it felt he was going to make himself puke.

“Can I listen to my ipod?” He asked. His voice was so raspy now he sounded like Eartha Kitt which was both cool and startling. He wondered if his voice would stay like that. 

The nurse nodded and helped him on with the headphones. 

In a recent parcel Armie had included CDs of several favourite authors’ audiobooks. Ben opted for the latest Discworld novel. Of course Ben had read the entire series, but the narrator was particularly good, and if he fell asleep he wouldn’t miss the plot.

As he drifted Ben composed a letter in his head thanking Armie for the gift and telling him all about the flight. He knew he probably wouldn’t have the energy to write it once he was settled in the hospital, but it was nice to dream.

* * *

Dopheld was having A Bad Day.

His loans had been late this term so he was only now getting a chance to restock all his meds. Thanks to losing his luggage on the way back from Hamburg he’d actually run out of some of them.

He’d taken the last of his anxiety meds yesterday. Unfortunately the first pharmacy he’d tried today had sold out of his brand. Now the second pharmacy had the meds he needed but thanks to a trainee behind the counter they were processing orders at a snail's pace. 

Of course he knew that missing his morning dose would be increasing his stress anyway but he really did have other places he needed to get to- there were experiments on campus that needed to be checked on before he could head on to the department mixer. Every minute he spent in this queue was another minute he’d have to make up by running across town. Dopheld hated running.

In front of him a tall man in an ill fitting raincoat was trying to juggle two large paper prescription bags, as well as a manila folder clamped under his arm. 

The bags were stuffed to bursting. It was immediately evident to Dopheld that the man couldn’t possibly carry them both but he didn’t seem to have realised that yet.

Dopheld stepped forward, intending to offer the use of his spare tote bag, but before he could speak his social anxiety reared its head. He shouldn’t interfere. He shouldn’t bother someone going about their business. He shouldn’t…

The other customer turned, jumped at the sight of him standing so close, and dropped the bags.

Just as Dopheld had expected the paper burst, scattering boxes and plastic bottles across the floor.

“Sorry, sorry!” Dopheld squeaked, his face on fire with embarrassment and shame for the accident his brain was telling him was his fault. “Here, you can use this tote bag, those paper ones won’t hold up if it rains anyway.”

He’d dropped to his knees and was already frantically gathering up boxes with one hand but as he held out the bag he finally looked up into the frightened face of his own housemate.

Armitage goggled at him for a just moment before he snatched the bag and started shovelling items into it without a word. 

Dopheld has never seen anyone look so scared in real life as Armitage Hux did in that moment.

He didn’t dare question him. Filled with upset of his own Dopheld simply gathered up the items he could reach and then got out of Armitage’s way as fast as he could.

Fortunately his own ticket was called then and by the time he turned back to the scene of the chaos Armitage was gone. 

Perhaps that would have been the end of it, if Dopheld hadn’t noticed one last box poking out from under a display of hair colourants. From the pastel design it was obviously out of place so he picked it up, assuming rightly that it belonged to his housemate. 

He only intended to return it. He honestly hadn’t meant to read it. Except that once he’d checked the name and address his eyes had just kept on reading on their own.

“Omegnacare Supplements- take two daily with food until one month after delivery.”

Dopheld immediately forgot his responsibilities on campus. He headed home.

* * *

The moment of elation in the specialists office had quickly faded to paranoia.

Professor Sloane had told him to get off campus and not speak to anyone, yet it seemed that half the world's population stood between him and home. Everywhere the crowds were thick with people staring at him. Surely they knew.

He kept his borrowed coat wrapped close around himself, fussing every few minutes about whether he’d pulled it too tight and made the bump at his waist even more obvious. 

The folder felt like some glowing magical object from a game, like the plain brown covering couldn’t possibly hide the incriminating contents from the rest of the world.

He couldn’t make eye contact with the pharmacy clerk when she ticked the “Payment Exemption- Omega Pregnancy” box and pointed out where he needed to sign. He couldn’t bear to see the judgement that would no doubt be in her gaze.

Dr Massa had warned him that he’d be taking a lot of supplements but Armitage hadn’t fully realised how that would translate into the physical world. He was sure his jaw had fallen open at the sight of two massive bags full of medication. 

And then of course he’d dropped them when he’d turned around and walked straight into Dopheld fucking Mitaka. 

Clearly the universe thought that scattering the evidence of his condition across the floor in front of a few dozen strangers wasn’t punishment enough. His housemate had to be there too.

Armitage hadn’t said anything to the man- he couldn’t trust himself to speak without crying or vomiting- but surely Dopheld had seen what he was collecting? 

He’d helped to pick up all the boxes hadn’t he? He must have noticed all the pregnant Omega silhouettes and cartoon babies that seemed to be plastered across every single container? He’d have to have been blind not to notice. 

At least it hadn’t been Thanisson. 

Now that was a thought too horrible to contemplate.

Somehow he made it all the way back through town and up to his room without incident. 

Finally he was alone. Safe behind a locked door. 

He wanted to sit down on the floor and cry. He wanted to scream, or set something on fire, or smash something. He wanted to close the curtains, lay down on the bed, and never get up again.

He did none of those things. 

Falling apart wasn’t an option. 

He’d survived his childhood with his father. He’d gotten a Masters and started a PhD in an Alpha dominated subject. He’d made it this far through Ben’s illness.

He could do this. 

He wasn’t some weak and feeble Omega who crumbled at the first sign of difficulty, he was Armitage Hux and pressure only strengthened him. He’d be diamond by the end of this and he’d be worth far more than where he’d come from.

He didn’t believe that, but what he believed didn’t matter, he’d make it the truth.

Moving mechanically he emptied out the bag of all his purchases and arranged them carefully on the bed. 

Before he’d collected his prescriptions he’d paid a brief visit to a discount clothing store to buy a few pairs of leggings and some oversized shirts. Without realising it he’d bought shirts in Ben’s size. At least they were certain to cover his middle. 

He’d also picked up a cheap planner. It wasn’t exactly his usual style- there was a day-glo unicorn on the cover- but it had cost only a few pounds and it’d do the job as well as any more dignified choice.

There was going to be so much to do- so many meds to keep track of, so many milestones to note, so many appointments to attend. The only way to get through the chaos was to turn it into order.

That’s what had gotten him through his Masters- and what he’d used to get Ben through his own courses- and he knew it wouldn’t fail him now. 

The last object on the bed was a family sized bar of chocolate. Well, he had his family inside of him, and he was going to share the chocolate with them, by eating it. That was his justification and he was going to stick with it.

He swept all the detritus of his now-ruined education onto the floor to deal with later, and settled down at the desk to fill in paperwork and begin the process of planning the rest of his life. It would be colour coded and it would be as close to perfect as he could get. 

At the very least he owed himself that.

* * *

Ben tried to follow the conversation but he was jetlagged, physically exhausted, and the doctor kept on forgetting that he was a sentient human being.

Everytime he asked a question the doctor would begin to address him and then drift back to speaking directly to his mother. 

He was twenty years old! He was an adult! This was his body they were talking about, he deserved to have a say in…

He jerked awake for what felt like the twelth time in ten minutes.

“... ultimately what all that means is that we will still be trying a variety of treatments in the meantime,” The doctor said, apparently concluding a much longer point, “but the best possible chance he has is a bone marrow transplant.”

The doctor didn’t sound all that happy about that fact. 

“He can have my bone marrow if he needs it,” Leia said immediately. Both Han and Luke indicated the same.

“I’m sorry, we’ve looked at all your families charts, you won’t be a match.”

“I’m his mother. We’re the same blood type.”

“HLA matching is far more complex than blood type.” The doctor said regretfully. “You’re a female Alpha, and a rare duel fertile one- you’ve carried a child as well as having healthy sperm. It’s simply not compatible. Your brother for the same but opposite reason- a healthy Omega who has fathered a child- the odds of that are astronomical. I’m afraid your family has been incredibly lucky in so many things but sadly not in this case.”

“What about me?” Han asked. 

“Beta tissue is treated as neutral in most medical procedures but again- we’re looking to match tens of thousands of variables. Even a full blood Alpha sibling would only have a one-in-four chance of being a match.”

“So we need to look elsewhere?”

The doctor nodded. “We’re searching now. Unfortunately Alphas have a pretty low donation rate and they’re only about twenty five percent of the overall population. If there’s nothing in the existing database we might have to run a campaign.”

“Would it be worth running one anyway?” Leia asked. “With my existing position…”

“I would recommend speaking to your political advisors about that.” The doctor closed the file in front of him and stood, signalling the end of the meeting. “Now we’ll get Ben settled in his room to get some sleep, and tomorrow we’ll get started.”

It was two hours later, as Ben lay awake staring at a new set of ceiling tiles, that he began to wonder what the doctor had meant about Luke. He didn’t have any kids…

* * *

The knock at his bedroom door was so soft that Armitage could have mistaken it for a leaf blowing against the window. Maybe that was the point- quiet enough that it could be ignored without shame.

He knew who it was- Dopheld had a way of trying to make himself small so others wouldn’t feel obligated to notice his existence. It drove Armitage mad at times.

This time he was almost tempted to give into it. If he pretended he hadn’t heard the knock then they’d never need to have any kind of difficult conversation. 

Not that it would be a particularly long lasting solution unless Armitage took to sneaking around the house like an idiot. 

He sighed and went to the door. 

Dopheld was holding out a paper bag from the ridiculous artisanal bakery in town. It smelled like cinnamon.

Armitage stepped back to let him in. 

“Sorry I made you drop your stuff,” Dopheld said meekly as Armitage took the offered bag and closed the door behind him. “I thought you’d want this.”

Inside the bag was a cinnamon glazed donut and a plastic sandwich wrapper containing one box of Omegnacare supplements. 

“I found it under one of the displays.”

“Well… fuck.” Armitage sighed as he sat down heavily on the bed. He’d already assumed that Dopheld had seen the labels but he’d actually ended up with literal physical evidence too. 

He looked to his left, meaning to put the box down and groaned again. The rest of his meds were still neatly arranged on top of the duvet. He put his head in his hands. Clearly discretion wasn’t one of his skills. 

“Thanks,” he said when he finally remembered his manners. 

“S’okay,” Dopheld said gently. “Do you want to talk about it?” He’d taken a seat at the desk, clearly expecting a long conversation. 

Armitage made a helpless shrugging motion. “I don’t think it matter much whether I  _ want  _ to…”

“I’m good at not noticing things.”

“Do you think you can sleep through two babies crying at the same time?”

Dopheld’s eyebrows rose at that. “Probably not. So, twins?”

For a moment Armitage debated sharing too much, but Dopheld was possibly the only neutral party he’d have to ever discuss this with. He carefully retrieved the black and white images the specialist had printed for him.

“Yeah.” He’d meant to say more but the words wouldn’t form.

The look of surprise transitioned to something like warm approval as Dopheld looked at the two images, though he didn’t actually say anything before he passed them back. 

“The Alpha with leukemia?”

“Yeah.” Armitage remembered the conversation they’d had the morning after and pointed to the faded scar on his forehead. “Turns out splitting your head open can cause pregnancy, who knew?”

Dopheld snorted.

“Seriously, check before you take any medication- a few painkillers fucked mine up.”

“I promise,” Dopheld said with his hand on his heart, “that if I ever feel the inclination to get in touching distance of another humans genitals I’ll check my meds, and then myself into a psychiatric ward because I will have gone mad.”

“Thanisson’s right about you, you know,” Armitage replied, but there was fondness in his tone.

“Had to happen eventually. I take it you don’t want me to say anything to him.”

“God, no.”

They shared a look of mutual understanding over their problematic housemate.

“I uh… I’m probably going to be forced to leave the university,” Armitage said after a silence. “Well, no, I’m definitely going to forced out, I just… fuck. I… I don’t know what the circumstances are going to be.”

Immediately Dopheld leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on Armitage’s knee. “I have no objection to you staying. I can always buy earplugs.” 

“Thanks. Thanisson…”

“Can fuck off. I’m sure we can find someone else.”

“ _ If _ the landlord agrees.”

That point made Dopheld’s expression sombre. An unmated pregnant Omega living with two apparently single Omegas? They both knew that Armitage would be seen as an unsavoury influence. The landlord might not tolerate his presence at all. And once the babies came there’d be even more difficulties. 

“I’ll burn each bridge once I get to it, there’s no use borrowing trouble from my future self.” Armitage said.

“I don’t think that’s how that idiom usually goes.”

“Accurate though.”

“True.”

They lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence until downstairs the front door slammed.

“Let me know if you need anything?” Dopheld said, standing from his chair.

“Would you mind ordering in some food and bringing it up here? Chinese maybe? I can pay you back.”

“I’d ask if you’re allowed that sort of thing but just looking at you is bringing on my baking instincts,” Dopheld smiled. “Don’t worry about the money, it’s on me. And I’ll tell Thanisson something to keep him out of your hair.”

“Thank you.” 

* * *

The next morning Armitage woke to three text messages from Professor Sloane, asking him to met her at a cafe on the outskirts of town.

It sooner than he’d expected to be summoned but maybe it was better for this to be dealt with quickly. Like tearing off a plaster all in one go- get the pain over with so the healing could begin.

As he dressed in his new, more discreet and comfortable clothing, and took his meds with the donut he hadn’t gotten around to eating the day before, he noticed a fortune cookie all alone in the bottom of the empty takeaway bag. 

He didn’t usually pay much attention to gimmicks but he was still hungry so he opened it anyway.

The paper inside hadn’t been cut properly so he received two ‘fortunes’ stuck together.

**[It never rains but it pours] [there are always flowers after the flood.]**

“Thanks, fortune cookie.”

His phone buzzed again. 

**Luke Skywalker:** Ben has been moved to Texas for further treatment. 

**Luke Skywalker:** Mailing address to follow. UK phone number no longer active.

Armitage bit his lip. Part of him wanted to snap a picture of the scans and send them to Ben’s uncle just so that someone in the family knew what was happening. But he knew that wouldn’t be fair. Not to Ben or his uncle. Ben should find out directly from him once he was well enough to handle the news. He couldn’t ask Luke to keep that kind of secret. 

Besides, they were a political family. Illegitimate kids were still a weapon to some politicians- he’d been used against his own father enough to know that.

There was a very real risk he’d be cut off from all contact with Ben if he did that.

Finally he replied- 

**Armitage Hux:** Has his prognosis improved at all?

**Luke Skywalker:** It’s still very bad.

**Luke Skywalker:** I’m sorry.

**Armitage Hux:** Please tell him I love him.

**Luke Skywalker:** I will. If he’s well enough for a phone conversation I’ll call you.

**Armitage Hux:** Thank you.

As he headed out the door Armitage slipped the fortune cookie paper into his wallet with the scans. He needed every scrap of positivity he could get.

* * *

The night shift security guard must be wearing boots of steel, Ben thought as he shifted irritably amongst the sheets.

He followed the footsteps in his mind. All the way to the end of the corridor, right turn, to the end of that spur, check the stairwell, back, to the other end of the corridor, left turn, etc, etc.

When he judged that the person was somewhere nearby he said “hey!” as loud as he could. The word came out as a pathetic kind of whisper. 

Still, the feet stopped all the same.

“What’s up, kid?” Asked a surprisingly pleasant female voice. The silhouette in the doorway looked to be even taller than he was- maybe even as tall as Uncle Chewie. 

“Well, I’m dying, and jetlagged, and the door is open, and someone sounds like they’re marching the Uruk-Hai into Asgard so…”

“Isengard,” the voice said. “You can’t march to Asgard.”

“I’ve got leukemia, I can’t march anywhere.” 

“That’s rough, what do you need?”

“I don’t suppose you have any spare Alpha bone marrow laying around anywhere do you?” He joked. 

The silhouette patted its pockets. “Just some lemon Pez, sorry.”

Ben laughed so hard at that he started coughing. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed.

“You okay? Need me to press the alarm?” The guard had stepped forward enough to reveal that she was a huge muscular woman with short blonde hair.

“Holy shit, a valkyrie!” Ben managed between wheezes. “Did I die?”

“You’re funny, but I do need to hear say you’re okay.”

He reached for the glass of water beside the bed and smile gratefully when she handed it to him. “I’ll be fine. It’d be great if you could shut the door though. Or walk quieter.”

“Sure thing, beanpole,” she said with a grin.

“It’s Ben actually,” Ben corrected, bristling at being called a nickname his father had last used when he was twelve.

“Okay  _ Bean _ , I’m Phasma.” The guard turned to leave. “Sleep tight.”

“Good night,  _ Plasma _ .”

At the door she gave him the finger. He tried to return the gesture but she was already gone.

* * *

Professor Sloane sat primly at a small table half hidden at the back of a greasy spoon cafe. It seemed like the least likely place in the world to find her but maybe that was the point.

Armitage could feel his mouth watering at the usually-disgusting smells of fried lard and over mashed tea. Not that he would order any food- there was too much risk of this being a distressing conversation. And he wanted to keep whatever dignity he had left.

“Thank you for the loan of your coat, Professor,” he said, handing over the item in question in a carrier bag.

With a polite nod she waved to the empty chair. “Please, call me Rae.”

She’d already ordered a tea for herself and a bottle of water for him. The glass was covered in fingerprints and what seemed to be lipstick marks. He opted to drink straight from the bottle instead.

“We should probably start with your appointment yesterday.” She said. “How did it go.”

He opened his wallet to show her the scan pictures. She didn’t move to take them. In fact she barely glanced at them. 

“Twins,” he said. “I’m keeping them.”

“I thought you would.” She huffed a breathe out through her nose and pursed her lips. “I hoped it would be something else for everyone’s sake but…”

“I hardly think ‘everyone’ will care!” Armitage snapped. “There are literally billions of people on this planet who won’t give a fuck.”

“And an entire department that  _ will _ .” The look Rae gave him made his blood run cold. 

She seemed to notice his face turn pale because she immediately made an effort to smooth her features again.

“I’m sorry, I’ve had to call in a lot of favours.” She explained. “I want you to understand that what I’m going to offer you isn’t in anyway the usual way of doing things. Normally you’d be on your own. I’m only helping you with this because I like you and I know what kind of man your father is.”

Armitage sat up a little straighter, trying to signal that he’d take whatever charity was about to be offered without complaint.

“I have to inform the Dean’s Office of your reason for leaving- a lot of the prenatal services you’ll need to access will contact the university anyway, but if it comes out that anyone else knew of this moral issue and didn’t report it…” She sighed. “I’m not losing my job for you. The university will contact your father too.”

His good intentions flew out the window.

“I’m an adult! It’s 2009!” Armitage said in rising horror. “He has nothing to do with…”

“He makes significant donations to the university, you know that. The administration will want to protect that and themselves. I understand he also pays your term-time rent?”

“That’s part of my inheritance from my mother.”

“But he’s trustee?”

Fuck. He was. Armitage had forgotten about that. Legally he’d have a case to fight it, but if his father cut off his income he wouldn’t be able to afford to take him to court to get his money back. 

He covered his face with his hands and tried to breathe normally. 

“You’re right.”

“Do you know what they used to do with Omegas in your situation?”

“Shoot us?” Armitage said though the rising panic. “Or marry us off to first ancient Alpha without an heir? Put us in some home for immoral Omegas?”

“Armitage…” She kept on using his name like a weapon. He hated it.

He glared at her but he hadn’t the energy to keep fighting. “Fine, what did they do with broken people like me?”

“In the past Omegas would be sent away to live somewhere quiet where no one knew them and they could have their baby discreetly.”

“And then what? Sell the kid to the highest bidder?!”

“Armitage!” She snapped. “As you just said- it’s 2009. Maybe in the past adoption would have been forced, but if no one knows they won’t know if your Alpha died or not. You could live as a widow quite comfortably.”

“I don’t have a Mating mark though.”

“Knives exist.”

He felt sick. This conversation couldn’t be happening. It really couldn’t. She wanted to send him away from what little support network he had? Hidden like a dirty little secret? Maybe forever?

“Look, I’ve presented this badly.” She leaned forward and grabbed his sleeve. “Do  _ not _ tell anyone this, but the offer I have for you is from the Chancellor herself. She’s a Beta but if you’ve read her autobiography you’ll know that as a teenager she had a son out of wedlocks. In the 1950s! That was a dangerous thing for Betas then. Look at what she’s accomplished since. Now, she has a house in the highlands. She doesn’t live there, it used to be a holiday home. These days she’s just maintaining it as part of her son’s inheritance. She pays someone a small amount to live there all year round- usually foreign teenagers travelling in their gap years- but she would be willing to give  _ you _ the tenancy.”

“The Highlands?” Armitage asked. He felt like he could only take this information in piece by piece. “Scotland?”

“Yes. It’s a big house, there’s some land, apparently there are,” she waved her hands vaguely, “chickens and things. You could go there and raise your children quite comfortably.”

“And she’ll pay me?”

“It’s not a lot, but you’ll be able to feed yourself.”

He stared at his hands. The Highlands were so far away. He truly wouldn’t know anyone. 

But he could also  _ be _ anyone. 

He could tell people any story he liked. He could change his name- take Ben’s name even- no one would know.

Still, it was so far away. He’d be alone with two babies, maybe giving  _ birth  _ alone… that was a terrifying thought.

“How soon do I have to decide?” He asked. 

Rae gave him a sympathetic look. “Soon.”

He nodded thoughtfully. 


	6. Chapter 6

When he left the cafe Armitage realised he didn’t have a plan - not for the future, he definitely didn’t have a plan for  _ that _ yet- but he didn’t have a plan for the rest of his day. That was a very strange feeling. 

There was nothing he needed to do. 

He’d always been a conscientious student and teacher so there was very little to tie up regarding his education, even if he had been allowed on campus to do it. 

Medically speaking he just needed to eat, sleep and take his supplements for the next few days.  

Housing wise, well. He did need to decide about that. He might as well take the empty day to think about his options. He could let his feet take him wherever they felt like going. It was scenic city, there were plenty of quiet places where he could get his mind in order.

Mostly he was angry. Angry at the universe for doing this to him now. Angry at his father for being the sort of prick who’d only make his life harder. Angry that he’d grown up without a real mother to give him a grounding in all of this. Angry at cancer for taking Ben away from him. Angry at society and the university and every goddamn Alpha and Beta who turned a blind eye to the lives of the Omegas around them. 

That was probably the hardest part- he’d fought for so many years to get where he was and four tiny cells combining to make new lives had derailed everything. Male Omegas were rare. These babies were conceived in the tiniest window of opportunity - interfering pain meds or not his heat had been so short he’d thought he had dreamt it. They were practically a miracle. 

He stopped in his tracks at that, feeling angry tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he ground his teeth. He wasn’t going to fucking cry in public. 

But still, that image was so strong, of what should have been. Ben had talked about getting him pregnant the second time they’d had sex, it was clearly something he wanted- in life, if not right now- and it was hard not to imagine how Ben would have reacted to this news in better circumstances. 

They’d have formalised the Mating as soon as Armitage told him, he was absolutely certain of that. Ben would be an overjoyed and doting father-to-be, the kind of silly parent who wasn’t much help but loved his kids and his Mate so much it didn’t really matter. And if they were Mated Armitage could have given Rae and the university and his father the middle finger because there would have been nothing they could do to stop him getting on with his life and his career. 

He wasn’t ashamed of this, he realised. He didn’t actually feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty about the babies in his belly like so many institutions clear expected him to feel. 

Like pretty much every other student on campus he’d had sex. It had been good. It had been with someone he loved with all his heart- not something everyone could say. And by the slimmest possible chance he’d gotten pregnant. 

Whatever decision he made wouldn’t be out of shame. 

Other people might think that was his motivation, but other people didn’t matter any more.

He’d do what was best, for him and for them. 

Hopefully it’d be what was best for Ben too.

* * *

By the time he got home the streets were already dark. Somehow he’d spent the whole day wandering around the city without ever even seeing it. If anyone had asked he couldn’t have said where he’d been.

As he trudged up the garden path his stomach growled to point out where he  _ hadn’t _ been- anywhere with food. He’d had nothing since the water in the cafe. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He still hadn’t been shopping- he had no real food of his own in the house. But his feet hurt too much to go out again now he was on the doorstep.

He opened the door to the smell of something savoury and delicious. His stomach tried to stage a coup.

Just as he was debating between ordering takeaway and raiding the fridge for anything unattended, Dopheld leaned around the kitchen door.

“Ah, excellent timing! I made to much käsespätzle!” Dopheld said, waving a wooden spoon as if that would lend credibility to his story. 

Armitage followed him warily into the kitchen. Dopheld Mitaka was the kind of man who could measure 100ml without looking- he’d never made too much food in all the time they’d know each other.

Still the… something mysterious with cheese… did look delicious. His stomach was in charge so Armitage took a seat at the kitchen table without questioning the situation any further. There was food. He was going to eat it. 

He managed to say ‘thank you’ before his hand reached for a fork but then silence reigned until the glass dish at the centre of the table was empty. Armitage felt sure he’d eaten most of it, but Dopheld didn’t object. 

“What was that?” Armitage asked, then remembered his manners. “It was good! Thank you, just… what was it?”

Dopheld made a gesture of uncertainty. “Homemade noodles. Or you might call them dumplings I think. They’re safe, for… you know. I made sure. My mother says they’re good for fattening you up.”

“You’ll have to give me the recipe,” Armitage looked around at the staircase leading up to the rest of the house. “Is Thanisson out?”

“Yep, his boyfriend picked him up earlier. Literally. He threw him over his shoulder and carried him off down the street.” Dopheld laughed. “They’re awful but they’re good together.”

“Good.”

“I don’t mean to pry…”

“But you’re going to?” Armitage snapped then immediately regretted it. “Sorry, shitty day.”

The look Dopheld gave him was sympathetic at least. “Seems like it’s been a shitty year.”

“Tell me about it.” Armitage sighed and stared at the empty plate in front of him. He was still hungry. Was this eating-for-three coming into effect or just the natural consequence of walking so many miles on an empty stomach? “Professor Sloane offered me a solution.”

“Meaning what?” There was an angry edge to Dopheld’s voice that Hux had never heard before. It made him oddly nervous.

“Moving away.”

“Oh.” He looked up just in time to see Dopheld sag slightly against the sink and loosen his grip on the spoon he was holding. “I thought you meant… getting rid of them.”

Armitage shook his head.

“No, she’s found a… housesitting job I guess. I’d go live in some creepy old mansion in the Highlands where I couldn’t embarrass anyone.”

“Would you be paid for that?” Dopheld asked as he returned to the table. He was carrying a gateau. Clearly he really did mean to fatten him up.

“Apparently. It wouldn’t be a lot of money because of the free house to live in, but it'd be something.” Armitage said, reaching for the offered spoon. 

“Regular income would be a good thing since you won’t be able to write much.”

“I’m not an invalid.”

Dopheld held up his hands. “I know. But you’re pregnant with twins. Do you have any younger siblings?”

“Not that I grew up with.” Armitage admitted.

“I have… too many siblings.” Dopheld said in a tone that attempted but missed diplomacy. “That’s one of the reasons I’m studying here instead of at home. My father is a very stereotypical Omega, and my mother likes to see everyone round and happy so if that means putting as many babies in him as she can…”

Armitage- a man who never had the sex talk with his family and absolutely didn’t want to think about any of his parents making babies - pushed his plate away. His appetite might never recover.

“People are going to talk to you about babies, Armitage,” Dopheld said with a not-so-apologetic smirk. “The bigger you get the more they’re going to share whether you want them to or not.”

“Suddenly the Highlands doesn’t seem so bad,” He replied, sorrowfully. He’d reached for the spoon again without thinking about it. 

“My point was that babies sleep a lot of the time, but it’s never when _ you  _ want to sleep and when they’re multiples they’ll gang up on you. They can’t sit up or speak or feed themselves but they damn well know how to make sure you never get any rest.” The bitterness in Dopheld’s voice said he was speaking from experience. “Not needing to work will be a definite benefit. And once they’re sleeping through the night-  _ then _ you can start freelancing again. Save some money to go somewhere else.”

The plan had some merits.

But if he left what would happen when Ben was better again? Ben wouldn’t want to go to the Highlands- he’d want to catch up on all the school he’d missed. Armitage would just be leaving to come back.

Armitage ate his gateau and tried not to think that it might be futile to plan around Ben.

* * *

“Don’t you have corridors to patrol?” Ben asked when Phasma walked into his room for the fourth night in a row and sat down in the cheap plastic chair like she owned the place.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” She shot back. As she spoke her hand made a strange gesture- reaching for her shirt pocket only to stop in midair before diverting away again.

Ben raised his shoulders in a weak shrug. He felt like he was always sleeping- he only knew it was night because she was there. The latest meds felt like they were killing him faster than the leukemia. 

“Don’t suppose you’ve got any gum?” She asked after a few seconds of patting down her pockets. “Or mints?”

“I get all my meals through a tube these days.”

She nodded. “I quit smoking.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s for a thing.” She sighed and pushed a hand through her hair. “I was down to one a day anyway- during my break, which is what I’m doing now.”

“You switched from smoking to annoying me?”

“Yep.” 

“So what were you bugging me about last night?” Ben asked when she failed to move. “You know, before I fell asleep.”

He didn’t bother to apologise for that. It happened too often these days.

“Dungeons of the dragon infested variety. Or not, as you complained on Monday.” She said, referencing a previous rant about Tiaan’s absolute refusal to write in a dragon encounter. “You were telling me how potions worked.”

“I don’t know why you care when you’ve never played it.”

“Maybe you’ve inspired me to take up the game.”

“You’re gonna play in tribute to me?”

“Nah, I’m gonna make you DM the hospital’s first ever game. It’ll give you something to do while you’re recovering.”

Ben rolled his eyes but he didn’t rise to it. He knew people only wanted to keep his hopes up but he was getting tired of the false positivity.

“Okay so, potions, they were always Techie’s speciality-”

“Techie is your boyfriend’s character?” Phasma asked.

“Yeah. Armie’s been playing Techie for years.”

“Shame he’s not a warrior.”

“Why?”

“Because then he could be an Armie in charge of an army.” She grinned, clearly delighted with herself.

Ben covered his face with his hand in disgust at the terrible pun but pulled it quickly away- he hated the papery texture of his skin over the hollows of his cheeks.

“When did you last talk to him?”

“Not since I left England… oh... quite a while before that actually,” Ben said, his chest suddenly aching at how long it had been. The days flowed together so that he had no real sense of the passage of time but he knew it’d been too long. “He writes, well, wrote, a lot. I don’t know if my parents have sorted out a mailing address for me here yet.”

“Why don’t you call him?”

“It’s super expensive.”

The look that crossed Phasma’s face then was unreadable but it reminded him of annoyance mixed with disgust- not directed at him but at something else. Suddenly her watch beeped to announce the end of her break. 

“Do you know his number?”

“Yeah.” Of course he did. He could have recited it backwards a year ago he knew it so well.

“Here.” 

A phone landed next to his head. It was a Nokia 3310, basic but indestructible. 

“Call him.”

“Are you sure?” But once again Phasma had left before he could finish his sentence.

Well, if it was too expensive he could always pay her back out of that life insurance money he’d never get a chance to spend.

* * *

The week had continued in the same odd haze of nothingness.

He’d cleaned his room, inventoried his possessions, sealed school work into boxes, and probably worn a hole in the carpet with his pacing. 

He still hadn’t decided what he was going to do. 

So far Professor Sloane, no, Rae hadn’t chased him up about the deal, but time had to be running out. 

Making a choice felt like jumping the gun though. If he did nothing maybe he could stay here forever. Acting felt like too much. 

No matter how much he told himself to be wise or decisive or sensible he remained stuck. 

This evening he’d finally followed the specialist’s advice. The house had been empty, and his back was already crying out for the heat of the bath, so he’d switched his usual shower for an indulgent soak.

The mound of his belly sticking just slightly out of the water below his still visible ribs had been a very strange sight. So he’d closed his eyes. 

It was subtle at first, and definitely easy to mistake for digestion, but after a few minutes he’d been sure he could feel the babies moving around. Just the gentlest of touches but they were there, in the same few spots, over and over again. Like morse code. ‘We’re here, we’re alright’. It was wonderful.

He’d stayed in the bath until he was almost too cold to move. Perhaps that seemed counterintuitive, but apparently hauling around two extra lives in his torso made him prone to overheating now. He didn’t even want to think about how he’d survive the summer.

Now he’d dressed for bed in a pair of briefs and Ben’s ‘Lawful Good Doesn’t Mean Nice’ shirt. It still hung loose around his belly, but only just. 

Feeling self conscious about it Armitage took a photo of himself, from the side rather than in sexy poses this time, one hand resting on the top of his belly to highlight the shape. He should keep some kind of record of all this. Just in case.

Sleep came easily to him but nightmares followed close behind, making his rest just shallow enough that when his phone screen lit up at 5am it was enough to rouse him. 

“ ‘lo?” There was no answer and for a moment fear gripped his heart. He’d answered it before checking the screen- it could be his father, or Luke with bad news, or…

“Armie!” Ben’s voice was weak but warmth flooded through him at the sound of it.

“BEN!!” He couldn’t help the grin on his face. “I can’t believe you’re calling me at five in the morning, how are you?!”

“I’m… still alive,” Ben said after a pause that wasn’t all that reassuring. “Trying to find a bone marrow donor, testing out some experimental… I dunno. I think it works on the Princess Bride rules, you’ve gotta be mostly dead for it to work.”

Armitage almost choked in grief at that. He knew Ben was trying to joke around to hide the seriousness of the statement- things must be really bad over there. What if this was a last call to say goodbye? Would Ben admit that’s what it was? Or would he try to be kind about it?

“Good thing you’ve got true love on your side then,” Armitage said once he’d gotten himself in check. 

After a moment’s thought he pressed the speaker button, threw back the covers and placed the phone on his stomach. It was horribly sentimental but it might be the only chance they got to hear their father’s voice. 

Ben laughed. “Damn right. True love’s gonna win the day, I promise you that. How are you?”

“We’re… I’m fine,” Armitage lied, hating himself for every word. He couldn’t tell Ben now. He just couldn’t. “Getting by.”

“I was talking to someone about Techie today,” Ben said without probing any further. “How’s the game going?”

“We’re disbanding, everyone’s… everyone’s everywhere these days.” 

Ben made a noise of understanding disappointment. There’d always been a chance the party would fall apart without Tiaan.

Suddenly an idea struck and Armitage did his best to improvise on the fly despite the ache in his chest. 

“Some of us are thinking of setting up a new game though- you know, with characters from a few different campaigns meeting in a new location. I was thinking of setting Techie up as like… a mysterious mystic living on the edge of this new village under an assumed name. Maybe he’s waiting for Kylo to find him…”

“Oh, well I like that idea,” Ben said. “Easy to slot back into.”

“Exactly. I don’t know what name to use though.”

“Techie Ren, beloved husband of Kylo Ren!”

Armitage laughed even though there were tears pouring down his cheeks.

“That’s not an alias, that’s just his damn name!”

“Ah so Techie  _ does _ like Kylo Ren?” Ben teased.

“Damn it, Ben, if you come back to me I swear I’ll let Kylo marry Techie the same day you Mate me I swear to fucking…” He cut himself off with a hand over his mouth because he was crying too hard to speak properly. He shouldn’t have said that. It was unfair.

“Armie,” Ben said, clearly through tears of his own, “if I ever get to see you again, I going bite you then and there, and I don’t care who fucking sees. Okay?”

All Armitage managed was a sniffled of agreement. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Armitage choked out.

“I know what you should call Techie. William. Because you’re so damn willful I think you’re gonna keep me alive through sheer force of wanting it.”

“If I could I would.”

“One day Kylo’s going to rock up to some backwoods village and the innkeep will mention the stuck up wizard in the woods and Kylo’ll say ‘ah yes, William Renley, I know that name’ and there Techie’ll be, waiting for him.”

“And Techie will Magic Missile his arse for being so damn late.”

Ben laughed but this time to the noise turned into a cough that didn’t seem to end. Faintly in the background something beeped.

Between coughs he managed to say, “Armie… I have to go… sorry I woke you… this is… friend’s number… Luke will… sorry… I love you.”

“I love you!!” Armitage practically shouted. 

There was one last cough and then the line went dead. 

Armitage rolled onto his side, curled up around his belly, and cried until the sun was pouring in at the window.

* * *

Ben woke to find his parents and Luke standing by his bed. They were each wearing coats over their pyjamas, though in Luke’s case this looked exactly like his usually clothing.

That thought made him giggle, which only set him coughing again.

The look of fear on Leia’s face at that sobered his thoughts, but the coughing still wouldn’t stop. It hurt. It really hurt. Like his ribs were freshly broken all over again and he was drowning in something.

While Leia ran to the door, Luke sat on the bed and began talking Ben through the relaxation techniques that had never worked for him as a kid. The words were nothing more than a distraction when Ben needed to focus on clearing his airway. He felt like he had a terrible cold or something- endless mucus blocking the flow of air.

Luke put a ‘soothing’ hand on Ben’s shoulder, but with a huge effort Ben rolled away, forcing himself onto his side. Blood poured out of his mouth, not fresh but in hideous clots- it was nauseating but he could breathe again. 

Nurses flooded the room then. Luke was eased away from him, his parents urged back against the wall out of the way, and finally someone was helping him in a real material way.

He’d had problems with the inside of his mouth since the first round of chemotherapy. The issues had started with blisters and ulcers that refused to heal, then progressed to his tongue and throat peeling until eating had been too painful to contemplate. The latest medication attempt induced nausea so bad he’d been unable to drink and liquids had needed to be administered intravenously. Apparently that dried his mouth out even further.

Talking to Armie- laughing and crying and actually expressing how he felt for five fucking minutes- that had torn his throat and palate up until he couldn’t breathe around his own blood.

It was fucking terrifying.

So was the suggested solution- induce a coma so he could be intubated until it healed. 

Ben knew enough of his situation to know  _ that _ was a procedure he might never wake up from. Judging by his family’s faces they knew that too.

He fought the decision- literally thrashing at the nurses and doctors who came near to check his vitals- until morning when his chief oncologist finally arrived at the hospital and brought the first good news he’d had in months.

They’d found a donor.

Ben just needed to stay alive long enough for the transplant to be completed, and his best chance of that now was the coma.

He had to do it.

Before he settled back for the procedure Ben hugged his mother, and Luke, and even Han despite all their misunderstandings over the years. He didn’t want to risk leaving anything unsaid. 

At least he’d talked to Armie, and he knew for certain that the Omega knew how he felt. Whatever happened he’d have left him with that one thing for sure. 

* * *

Armitage woke at midday, dehydrated and exhausted.

He hadn’t done that since he was twenty years old, when sitting up until 3am playing Munchkin and drinking too many shots with the Sci-Fi Society had been a regular occurrence. Five years? Those days felt like five centuries ago.

He took his supplements with the bottle of water he kept by the bed and debated whether to bother getting up at all. He should eat. He’d probably cried all the salt out of his system last night. 

The face in the mirror looked like shit, all red rimmed eyes and hollow cheeks. He gave it the finger. The gesture didn’t make him feel any better. 

After five minutes of struggling against limbs that seemed to be cast from lead he’d managed to get his leggings and socks on. 

Changing his shirt seemed like too much effort. 

The shirt didn’t smell like Ben any more, but his brain could just about fool him into imagining it did. The comfort of that was worth the untidiness. He wasn’t going out, and no one would be home until the evening to notice the bottom edge of his bump just peeking out under the soft grey fabric. 

Right. Bathroom, brush teeth, obtain food, do something with the rest of the day.

He opened the door to find Thanisson sitting on the top step of the stairs. The least favourite housemate was wearing his gossiping face.

It took a supreme effort of will for Armitage to keep his hands casually at his sides. There was no way he could cover his middle now but the urge was still there. 

“Don’t you have lectures?” He asked.

One corner of Thanisson’s mouth twitched. “Nah, old Datoo called out with ‘a stomach bug’ again, so we all came home for the day.” The quotation marks were audible but even Armitage in an entirely different department knew what he meant.

“Do you think he went skinny dipping in the lake again? Or drunkenly tried to seduce a duck?” Armitage asked, unable to resist the horror that was bad academic behaviour.

“It was a goose last time,” Thanisson corrected lazily, “I don’t know what he did,  _ yet _ , but there’s a pair of longjohns on the concert hall roof that the porters can’t reach so it’ll be a good one.” He looked Armitage in the eye and smiled. “Shame you won’t be around campus to find out about it.”

“I don’t need to be on campus when I get all the gossip from you- whether I ask for it or not.” Armitage sneered.

“So you really are leaving?” 

This time Armitage didn’t bother replying at all.

“I heard it’s because that second year rugby guy of yours got you sick. Though of course  _ I _ know cancer isn’t contagious, unlike some of our less informed fellow students…”

Thanisson leaned back against the bannister, assessing Armitage with narrowed eyes. Finally his gaze reached the hem of his shirt.

The change in his expression was a palpable surprise. Armitage had expected glee, or mockery, or something openly hostile from the university’s self crowned king of snooping. But rather than any of that, Thanisson’s face turned instantly into a sombre mask. 

Armitage said nothing. In a way he was curious how long Thanisson could go without saying something vicious.

Finally the younger Omega stood and began to walk downstairs. “I’m so sorry, I really am.”

“Thanisson?”

He paused but didn’t look back at him. “This won’t go any further from me. Some things even I won’t touch.”

“Thanks,” Armitage said. Apparently the world was full of surprises. “So… it’s not public knowledge then? This I mean?”

“With your reputation I think that’d be everyone’s last guess.” Thanisson turned with a smirk and a showman’s gesture, arms out wide. “You want me to run some interference? Invent a legend for you?”

“Knowing you it’d be a hell of a legend.” Armitage laughed.

Thanisson winked. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“You know,” Armitage said as Thanisson headed towards the kitchen, “the Omega specialist on campus said I should wish you luck because Betas aren’t always what they seem.”

He stopped walking just enough to meet Armitage's eye for a split second. 

“Nothing would make me happier.” He said. The words almost sounded sad, an emotion Armitage had never imagined Thanisson was even capable of feeling.

“Then I hope you get your wish.”

The only reply to that was a shrug, then he was gone.

* * *

Leia sat with Han, watching nervously as fluid was injected into the second, newly-installed port in her son’s chest.

That in itself was difficult to look at- Ben had always been large for his age and seeing his skin sunken almost to his bones felt physically painful, an ache in her own chest that wouldn’t go away. 

Even worse was mundanity of what might be a last ditch effort to keep him alive.

It had all sounded so dramatic. A transplant. Swapping one broken organ for another. 

She’d been expecting… well, more than this. Before the procedure had been explained her mind had created so many horrors. She’d seen the bruising from the extraction process each time they tested Ben’s bone marrow to monitor his condition. When she’d first pictured the transplant she’d imagined more of the same- drilling into his bones to physically replace what he’d lost. 

She hadn’t realised it would just be a series of injections into his bloodstream followed by more silent monitoring for rejection or failure. 

A process that would take days, that could go wrong at any point, and that she could do nothing at all to help. 

Han took her hand and squeezed gently. 

Nothing to do but wait.

* * *

The babies were fine. His weight was improving. His blood pressure was an absolute shambles. Given the stress in his life the specialist wasn’t particularly surprised.

Dr Massa did not approve of Armitage being removed from his department, but there wasn’t anything he could do. Sadly the medical centre wasn’t an official part of the university hierarchy. 

Still, it felt good to have a ‘real adult’ on his side. Dopheld was a good friend, but Armitage needed to talk to someone with life experience. 

“Can I ask your opinion on something?” He finally got up the courage to ask as he put his clothes back in order after the exam. 

“Of course.”

“What do you think to the old tradition of sending pregnant Omegas away?”

The older man tipped his head. “I supposed that’s been presented to you as an option then?”

“Quite emphatically.”

“Hmmm.” 

Dr Massa settled back in his chair like a lecturer about to launch into a speech. Armitage took the cue to sit down himself. This seemed like it was going to be a long one.

“I don’t approve of anyone being forced to do something they don’t want, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with going away for yourself.” He began. “Omegas used to do that of their own accord- evolutionarily speaking we’ve probably always isolated ourselves to some degree in later stage pregnancy, like a lot of other den animals. You might not like that comparison but it’s an accurate one. We like to nest. We like peace and quiet. And if we can’t have our Mates or offspring with us, we like to get through it all on our own.” He paused then asked, “You’re not a literature type are you?”

“Only the kind with dragons and spaceships,” Armitage admitted with a self deprecating smile.

“Well, back when we started having mass warfare- the Napoleonic era when conflict really began to thousands of men overseas for years- that’s when modern Omegas started formally going away for their ‘confinement’ as it was called then. For centuries most humans lived or travelled in groups, and Mated pairs avoided being separated. If an Alpha was in the army the Omega would follow. Beta spouses too of course for their own reasons...” 

He stopped suddenly with a look of embarrassment.

“Sorry, you’re not here for a history lesson,” he went on, “But there were whole informal communities of camp followers providing services the army couldn’t manage on its own. As war modernised all that was brought in house, everything moved faster, and it got harder to keep up. Omegas had to find a way to cope with being left behind.”

The specialist turned in his chair to hunt through a bookshelf behind him.

“Add the rise of novel writing and you’ll find plenty of stories on the subject.” He said as he pulled a few tattered paperbacks out of their place. “They can get a bit formulaic - often the Omega is a widow and either the Alpha isn’t really dead, or the Omega finds love and acceptance with someone new. Not exactly considered ‘high art’ and definitely not taught in schools anymore thanks to Victorian attitudes about sex… Anyway, my point was…”

He frowned, apparently having forgotten his point. 

Armitage wasn’t entirely clear on his point either, but he did know his brain was feeling a bit scrambled. He’d never even thought to consider Omega social history before. It was just his designation.

Thinking back on his school history lessons he realised how rarely Omegas had been specifically mentioned. He’d assumed they were there, but he hadn’t imagined they had a whole history of their own. 

Finally Dr Massa held out the stack of books. “Here, take these, have a read. There’s a lot in there about Omega pregnancies and how isolation can be soothing. Going away might be better for you than you think.”

“Really? To the middle of the Highlands? No medical support?” Armitage asked as he accepted the pile- the first book had a very 1970s cover. He’d never seen a pregnant man in high waisted bell bottom jeans before. It wasn’t a good look.

“It is 2009 Armitage, Scotland  _ does _ have doctors and hospitals if you need help. You’re at twenty weeks now, and most things look okay. We wouldn’t normally be doing much interference until week forty, and I can always monitor you from here.”

That was unexpected. “You can? How?”

“If you do go away I can loan you a blood pressure monitor and a few other basics. A weekly phone check in is really all that’s necessary.” Dr Massa said blithely. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

* * *

Luke was taking observation duty tonight. The doctors said it wasn’t necessary, but he’d promised Leia that he’d keep an eye on Ben while she got whatever sleep she could.

He’d never felt all that comfortable babysitting his sister’s son. At first he hadn’t the experience with kids, then he’d had the pain of losing Wedge to deal with, and the regret over letting his own baby go to better parents. Either way he’d made excuses not to spend much time with the boy until Ben was fifteen and already resenting his uncle. 

Trying to be a mentor to Ben had been a mistake. Missing so much the boy’s life, and Leia’s life, out of awkwardness and grief had been worse. He told himself that if Ben got through this he was going to be a better uncle. The support Ben needed…

“Gum?” A voice said from too close to his left hand side. 

He turned to find the night guard standing by his chair, chewing loudly and holding out a gum packet to him.

“No, thank you.”

“He’s still out then?” She asked with a nod towards the bed.

Luke nodded. “Breathing on his own was too uncomfortable.”

“Think he’ll make it?”

“He’s a strong boy. I think he’ll be fine.”

* * *

It was early Friday evening, and the three of them were sharing a pizza at the kitchen table, when Verdi’s Autumn rang out from Armitage’s pocket.

**[Withheld Number]**

A feeling of dread was already settling over him. 

He pressed the button.

“Hello?”

“Armitage.”

He’d rarely heard that much disappointment condensed into three syllables before. 

“Father.”

Across the table Dopheld stood from his chair.

“I always knew that you’d end up just like your mother,” Brendol Hux said evenly. “So I’ll make you the same offer I made her. Ten thousands pounds to get rid of it and never dar-”

Armitage hung up on him.

He could feel himself trembling with rage, but he couldn’t find the words to explain what was going on to his staring housemates before the phone started ringing again.

Against his better judgement he answered it.

“Listen to me, boy,” Brendol said before Armitage could even take in a breath to speak. “You were always a disappointment ,but you had your uses. Not any more. We’re done. You don’t contact me, you don’t come to the house again, you leave your stepmother and sisters alone. No more for you. I’ve already stopped your rent payments and I’m having your phone disconnected...”

“The rent is part of my inheritance from my mother,” Armitage cut in. He’d forgotten the phone was on Brendol’s family account but as battles went it wasn’t worth focusing on. Housing however- that was vital.

Brendol’s voice was dripping with contempt when he replied, “I think you’ll find that the terms are only for payments to be made as long as you’re in education. And you’re not in education any more, are you Armitage? Because you chose to be a slut like your mother.”

“Don’t-”

“Shut up. As far as I am concerned you’re as dead to me as she is.” Brendol went on. “As of this morning you’re disinherited from my will. I’ve passed all the paperwork regarding the inheritance from her back to the original lawyers. If you ever manage to drag yourself out of the squalid hole you’ve dug yourself into long enough to finish your doctorate, you can contact them yourself. Goodbye Armitage.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Armitage replied, but Brendol had ended the call before he’d finished the first word.

Well. Shit.


	7. Chapter 7

Luke was tired. That was his only excuse. 

It wasn’t a good excuse.

He was dozing in the chair by Ben’s bed when he received a text from an unusual looking phone number. Given his sisters occupation he received any number of crackpot calls and messages every week. He’d made such a firm habit of deleting texts from numbers he didn’t recognise that the action of swiping them away had become muscle memory. 

His brain only registered the words “Luke this is Armitage please…” after the message was already gone.

He tried to retrieve the text but there didn’t seem to be anyway to get it back.

He called the previous number he had for Armitage but an automated voice just said, “We're sorry. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again.”

The number had worked not too long ago.

He called the university, hoping they could at least get a message to Armitage even if they couldn’t give him a number, but the snippy receptionist only stated there was no student by that name currently enrolled.

Luke felt terrible. He was out of options. The only thing he could do now was hope that Armitage texted him again or that Ben knew another way to contact him once he recovered.

Once he recovered, not if. 

He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to meditate away the feeling of unease.

Instead he fell asleep in his chair. 

When he woke he felt sure something important had happened in the night. 

He couldn’t remember exactly what though. 

It would come back to him eventually.

* * *

As the van rounded the last corner, Armitage held his breath and braced himself for the worst.

“What the…” he whispered mostly to himself as a bright picturesque Victorian house appeared, nestled pleasantly amongst green hills and fruit trees. “‘Pheld? You did program the sat-nav properly, didn’t you?”

Dopheld pointed wordlessly at the gate post he was carefully manoeuvring around. The name was picked out in neat gold paint.

_ PEACHTREES _

“Well, I guess this is the place then,” Armitage said, staring up at the white walls and soft orange woodwork. “I’d be amazed if there actually  _ were  _ any peaches growing here though.” 

“There’s a movie about unusual fruit growing in Scotland…” Dopheld laughed.

It took Armitage several minutes to get the reference but just as he reached the door he finally started laughing. 

“I’d say talking about human sacrifice just before leaving me alone in the wilds was cruel, but,” he pointed at his belly, “in The Wicker Man they only wanted virgins so I’m not exactly at risk anymore!”

“I’ll have to hope I make it through the night then,” Dopheld joked back as he joined him on the threshold.

Just as they’d been promised the key was sitting in a coded lockbox by the door, along with two notes. 

The first note was from the last occupants explaining they’d left two days before and which plants would probably need watering. The other was from the owner of the house and chancellor of the university, a famous politician who’d recently been made Lady Mothma for her services to civil rights.

It still felt strange to Armitage that a person he’d never met would do something on this scale for him, but then it was in keeping with what he knew of her character. 

_ Armitage,  _

_ as you know from the contracts you signed the initial arrangement is for one year, but I want you to feel truly at home here, so please- treat this house as if it will be yours for years.  _

_ If you wish to rearrange the furniture or change the colour of any of the rooms feel free to do so. I would ask only that you leave the floors untouched, and that the fixtures and fittings are maintained as well as you can with infants in the house. _

_ All the linens are yours to do with as you please- I am aware that Omegas in your condition need to nest, so do not worry about damaging anything as they can always be replaced. _

_ In the kitchen you will find a folder outlining your duties here along with a detailed map of the house and a list of emergency contacts in the village. There’s also a collection of menus for local delivery places that my other house sitters have gathered over the years.  _

_ You may of course choose any bedroom as your own, but I suggest the first on your right as the smaller room adjoining it would make a perfect nursery. _

_ I wish you all every happiness here, _

_ MM _

Well, he hadn’t expected a letter to be the first thing that made him cry here but…

Without a word Dopheld took the key and opened the door for him before heading back to the van, presumably to begin unpacking and give Armitage a chance to get his emotions under control again. 

Armitage was very grateful for the gesture. He hated showing so much weakness, so while Dopheld brought in boxes and bags, he took the opportunity to look around his new home. 

Downstairs was an entrance hall that lead to a surprisingly modern kitchen on one side of the house and two sitting rooms on the other. A small bathroom was hidden under the staircase.  Everything seemed to be painted in shades of white and yellow, while the floors were a mixture of dark wood and thick carpets that hopefully wouldn’t be too cold come winter. 

Upstairs were four bedrooms- one with a little sitting room beside it as mentioned in the letter- and a master bath. 

The third floor must have been the servants quarters once, with another four tiny rooms and a bathroom crammed in under the eaves. Even up there an effort had been made to make the rooms cheerful and bright despite the small windows.

Something unnamed deep in Armitage’s soul said it was these little rooms that were the best. One of them had a single round window and sloping ceilings on each side like a tent. He stood in the doorway for a while, staring at the bed that had been built into the space under the window. It was an odd looking bed, with a raised lip at the front and walls on the other three sides.

Without really thinking about it he climbed up onto the bed. 

A few dozen more blankets and it’d be perfect. 

What a strange thought to have. 

Or was it? The room was well insulated, very clean, the bed was clearly designed so that the occupant couldn’t roll out, and anyone in the bed could see the door. He blinked, feeling very stupid. 

This was clearly an Omega’s nesting room.

If you were expecting multiples you’d want a bed where you could be sure your babies were secure while you were feeding and sleeping. And if you developed the paranoia that some people said was common to Omegas you’d want a very secure space.

He’d literally never thought about any of this in his entire life but it instantly made sense to him.

Armitage shook his head and went back down stairs. 

He could think about weird Omega instincts and how they related to him later.

Outside there was a lovely Victorian greenhouse with several helpfully labelled peach trees, an orchard, and a chicken coop. The birds stared blankly at him as he passed. 

He turned a corner to find a rabbit run and a large vegetable patch. Those were two items he didn’t really think should be in such close proximity to one another, but he wasn’t going to pretend to be an expert. He’d heard carrots were bad for rabbits so maybe real ones wouldn’t try to tunnel their way out to steal them.

Well, he’d find out about all that soon enough.

By the time he got back into the house Dopheld had already put the kettle on. 

Armitage smiled gratefully and tried not to focus on how quickly he’d be gone again.

* * *

Phasma’s phone soared across the room and clattered to the floor as it bleeped it’s second text message notification. It was an ancient Nokia, so sturdily designed it might well survive a direct nuclear strike, so it just lit up with the little envelope symbol and waited to be read.

It’s owner didn’t look at it until four hours later when she woke up for work.

**(+44)755548973:** Sorry to bother you, if this is Ben’s friend please tell him my new number is (+44)755594552, thank you, Armitage

She nodded, made a mental note to pass the message on once Ben woke up, and promptly forgot all about it.

* * *

Outside the cockerel crowed for the fourth time that morning.

Armitage gave it the finger through the small circular window above his bed, but apparently the stupid noisy bird didn’t know the meaning of human gestures. All it knew was hunger.

His stomach growled, reminding him that humans needed feeding too.

As if to highlight the point one of the twins wriggled. Or maybe it was just dancing to the internal music. Who knew.

He stretched and tried to work up the will to get out of bed. There was a lot to do. He’d never expected that being banished to a remote house in the middle of nowhere would involve so much work.

Armitage’s first week in the house had been almost entirely devoted to getting to grips with the new routine. Chickens and rabbits needed feeding, eggs had to be collecting, plants needed tending, and the house could use some cleaning. 

It wasn’t that the house was dirty as such, it just… pinged his nerves. He’d always kept his room tidy but something about having a whole house to himself made him want to see it spotless. And of course once one thing was cleaned then everything else looked dirty by comparison.

At least most of it was new. 

He’d had nightmares about huge coal burning fireplaces and water heaters older than the titanic, but the whole house had modern central heating. The fancy woodburning stove in the main sitting room looked like it had never been used, and while there was an Aga - a cast iron stove popular with posh people - in the kitchen there was a real cooker and a microwave hidden away in the utility room. He was never going to touch the Aga.

The cockerel crowed again.

“Okay!!” He shouted, swinging his legs up and over the lip of the bed. “I’m getting up.”

As soon as he stood upright the weight of two babies on his bladder sent him dashing to the bathroom. He was only twenty two weeks! He’d be living in there by the time they were ready to be born.

* * *

An extremely stressed personal assistant hurried through the now empty London home of his employer, desperately gathering together the last few pieces of correspondence and paperwork they’d need before handing over the keys to the new occupant.

If only he hadn’t fallen a few days ago and badly broken his arm, he thought irritably as he tried to scoop up the mail with fingers that didn’t close properly. If only young Master Ben hadn’t gotten so sick requiring the whole family to relocate. He was so worried about the young man! And the family! What would happen to them all if he died?!

From the car idling outside his husband shouted some impatient nonsense about missing their flight. 

With one last look around he left the house for the last time. Setting the security system and locking the door with only one working hand was harder than he’d expected. He dropped the mail several times before he was done.

Usually he was a very conscientious employee, but with Art still shouting he didn’t take the time to check the ground properly before they drove away. 

Half hidden in the flowerbeds, a few letters drifted on the wind until the rain made them too heavy to move.

* * *

Kylo ran through the forest, a glittering Shield of Faith surrounding him as he drew his sword to face the oncoming horde.

To his left Rose’s Artificer Loan was charging up Otiluke's Resilient Sphere, while behind him Techie was talking himself through the pros and cons of casting Meteor Swarm. That thing had a forty foot damage radius for every strike- the horde was big enough to need it but their party would be inside that space as well. 

20d6 fire  _ and _ 20d6 bludgeoning damage? 

They were all going to die if Techie used that. 

But it might be the only way.

Kylo blinked and realised there were more fighters beside him- a Monk wearing the robes of the Way of the Long Death, and a tall Eldritch Knight in glittering armour weilding a sword of flame. Behind them a Rogue that wasn’t DJ ran hand in hand with a Cleric who looked… just… like his mother? 

She was a human, not a tiefling, but there wasn’t time to think about that because behind him Techie was pointing at the sky and screaming out the spell, just as the knight drove her sword through the heart of the nearest demon lord...

Ben woke coughing and spluttering in a bright white room. 

Everything hurt. He ached like he’d been running for days. His throat felt like it had been sandblasted and coated in superglue at the same time. He needed to get a drink of water and take the longest piss of his life. 

He should text Armie too before class and tell him about that weird D&D dream. Clearly he was playing too many tabletop games if he was dreaming weeks long campaigns in his sleep.

He raised his hands to rub his eyes only to stop midgesture.

Why were there cables clipped to his fingers? And a cannula in the back of each hand?

Why could he see his bones so clearly?

He tried to sit up as something behind him started to beep at an ever increasing speed but he couldn’t properly manage it.

Suddenly Leia was there, pushing him back down. 

He wanted to ask why she was in his room but the words wouldn’t come out, and just like that everything came flooding back. 

The bruises, the tests, the diagnosis, the last night with Armie, the rounds and rounds of chemotherapy, the flight to Texas, the discussion about the coma. 

Four or five months of his life downloading into his brain in a few seconds. 

He looked around, needing his Omega at his very core, but Armie wasn’t there. 

Of course he wasn’t.

But he should be.

* * *

When Armitage found himself awkwardly waddling around the garden after a wayward chicken for the third time that morning he just knew he was developing a reputation with the neighbours. They weren’t nearby, but he’d see them occasionally in their distant gardens watching him like he was better than television.

He probably was at this point. 

It turned out he knew nothing about country life. Somehow the animals all sensed that fact on him. For example the question of whether rabbits actually ate carrots had been answered within just half an hour of letting them out of their hutch. Now there were no carrots in the vegetable patch and a lot of very smug looking rabbits. 

One of the local smallholders had come round to buy a few of them- a long standing arrangement according to the household income book in the kitchen- and he’d laughed so hard over that he’d had to sit on the wall to get his breath back. 

Still, he’d been kind enough once he’d calmed down. He’d even helped Armitage move the hutches, agreeing that someone in his condition really couldn’t be expected to manage them where they’d originally been built. 

Two days later he came back with his wife and a rabbit pie as a housewarming gift. 

It was strange meeting all these new people who had no concept of him other than as a pregnant Omega. At university there’d been the ice breakers of subject and specialty to give a starting point to work from. Here he had none of that. 

At least introducing himself as William Renley wasn’t as hard as he’d expected. He’d always hated his name anyway and the feeling of playing a game made it easier. He was just roleplaying a character whenever he talked to the nearby villagers. 

He didn’t even need to fake the tears in his eyes when he spoke of his beloved Alpha. So far he’d never actually gotten as far as claiming to be a widower, he’d say ‘cancer’, start welling up and everyone else would fill in the blanks. 

In away that made the whole thing easier. 

He hadn’t heard from Ben or his family in weeks but he’d occasionally used the shitty dial-up internet to search for obituaries and hadn’t found anything. 

Not that that was his only attempt at getting in touch of course. He’d written to the last address he had, and every office address he could find that might be associated with Leia Organa. He couldn’t say much in such a letter because they were likely to be screened by security, but he had to try. 

He’d only had a day to work with before his phone was shut off, but he’d texted Luke and the number Ben had called from that last time. He’d had no reply there either. Unfortunately the replacement phone contract didn’t allow outbound international calls or texts. He’d tried his best to find one that did but it simply wasn’t in his budget.

He had to eat, and babies were expensive even before they were born. 

On that front, he’d had a surprise while he was cleaning the house. 

Dopheld had apparently seen the part of the letter advising which room to use as a nursery because he’d left some of the boxes and bags in there. Armitage hadn’t noticed at first since he’d moved into the Omega room instead. When he finally spotted them he quickly realised they weren’t anything he’d packed, even though they had his name scrawled on them.

Between them Dopheld and Thanisson had bought him several boxes of baby supplies, including clothes, and a pair of bassinets. He’d nearly cried when he saw them.

Apparently he cried a lot these days. 

It was probably hormones. He’d barely cried when his life was falling apart, now it was almost stable and he couldn’t seem to stop.

* * *

Being cured of cancer was not as simple as it sounded. Ben found it weird that people used such a little word for such a complicated and annoying process.

The first stage of the bone marrow transplant had been getting it into him without complications, then they had to be sure it wasn’t rejected, then there were a lot of tests to find out whether it was actually working or not. 

Ben had never really been ill before now, not since he was a baby anyway. He was used to getting sick, taking something, and feeling better. The chemotherapy had taught him it wasn’t that simple but at least receiving chemo was an active process. This was just waiting.

Maybe he’d have felt more confident if he’d been awake during the injections. He’d been out for over a week but it still only seemed like hours. 

Well, at least he was awake now, and he was determined not to languish in bed any long. Was that a sign he was improving or just self delusion?

“Come on, Bean, keep up!” Phasma shouted over her shoulder at him as he shuffled slowly along the corridor behind her, leaning half his weight on the IV stand he was rolling along beside him.

Ben decided it didn’t matter, all that mattered was doing something.

* * *

Armitage went to collect the eggs one morning and found a small ginger kitten asleep under a chicken.

The chicken bit him when he tried to extract it so he left them alone. 

If the bird wanted to mother a cat, well, that was its own problem.

* * *

“Come on, Bean, keep up!” Phasma called cheerful to the figure tottering a few steps behind her now.

Ben gave her the finger, glad to have a hand free of needles for the first time in months to do so. It felt good.

He still slept constantly, and he hadn’t the strength to concentrate on much for long, but he was getting there. He wasn’t entirely sure where  _ there _ was but still...

* * *

Armitage was sitting in the sun, enjoying the warmth and the gentle wriggling of the twins under his hands when something meowed at him in very demanding tones indeed.

He turned to find the kitten staring at him with big yellow eyes. Behind it the chicken was watching him warily.

“Hello, what do you want?” He asked. Inside the twins suddenly moved much more forcefully and he realised how little he spoke out loud now. He should try to talk to them more, even if he felt silly doing it.

The cat jumped forward, batting at the moving of his bump under his shirt. He still had a long way to go but the combination of being thin and having twins made his belly much more prominent than he would have expected.

He laughed. The twins wriggled even more. 

After a minute or two of playing whack-a-mole with his babies, the kitten started kneading his side and meowing loudly.

She looked very small, not much bigger than when he first found her. 

How much food could a mama chicken provide for an obligate carnivore mammal? Not much without being eaten herself. 

He carefully stood and began to walk towards the kitchen. “Come on, fuzzball, let’s find you some food.”

* * *

“Come on, Bean, three more floors to go!” Phasma laughed as she deliberately power walked to keep in front of the young man striding along in step with her. She’d lose him again on the staircase, but he always caught up again.

Ben stomped after her, not feeling the playful mood she was exuding today. 

In the days immediately after waking from the coma his relationship with his family had been closer than ever. 

Leia, Luke, and even Han had put so much time into watching over him, it had made him feel they really cared. For the first time in years. Decades maybe. A childhood filled with overworked parents, international travel, and romantic strife for his entire family had left young Ben feeling unwanted and a little forgotten. 

Finding them at his bedside had been a relief that was sadly short lived. And in a way he knew he was being unreasonable but that didn’t help him behave any better. 

He’d asked about Armie straight away and his mother had simply said he hadn’t written in a while.

Then it had come out that they’d never actually set up an official mailing address for him here in Texas.

From there the revelations had snowballed. The house in London had been handed back to the landlord without any kind of mail redirection set up for him- he hadn’t lived there for years so none of Leia’s assistants thought it was necessary. 

Armie’s number no longer worked. Far worse than that- Luke had received a text with the new number and he’d deleted it. He’d said it was an accident but Ben wasn’t sure he believed him. Either way Ben had been so upset he’d thrown a lamp at him.

Things had been said that probably shouldn’t have been. About Luke, and about Wedge, and about Luke’s apparent refusal to let Ben be happy. 

Luke had walked out of the hospital that day. Ben didn’t think he’d be coming back any time soon. 

In a fit of frustration Ben had broken into one of the nurses offices to use the internet. He’d tried to email Armie himself only to find that Armie’s school email address no longer worked. Ben didn’t know any other emails for him.

So he’d called the school and they’d denied that Armie was even a student. Rose was still overseas, DJ didn’t answer, the rest of his party didn’t know anything and Tiaan, fucking Tiaan, had hung up on him saying it would be ‘inappropriate as a member of the faculty to discuss that topic’. When he’d tried to call back he got sent to voicemail. 

That had him really worried. 

The only other option other than Armie’s parents was his housemates. They’d always seemed like reasonable people. But there was no landline listed for that address, and he didn’t know their full names to inquire at the university about them, so all he could do was write.

And wait.

His whole damn life seemed to be nothing but waiting these days.

It wasn’t fair. How could he recover from cancer only to lose- seemingly literally- the man he’d hoped to make his Mate? 

Neither Leia or Han had helped. They’d talked to him about puppy love and one sided romance and letting people go like Armie wasn’t the single most important person in his life. 

They’d told him to focus on getting better. They’d refused to help him search because the topic was getting him upset. Of course he was upset!

He’d ordered both of them out of his room, then he’d sat on the floor and cried until the night shift began.

When Phasma arrived for their nightly walk, he hadn’t mentioned the problem to her. She liked his family well enough

He didn’t want her to think any less of him for fighting with them.

* * *

Armitage woke one morning to the postman hammering on the door.

It was the 4th of June he discovered as he signed for the three parcels- the first non-bill related mail he’d received since moving in at the start of May- and that meant he’d missed his own birthday by a week.

That had been a strange realisation. 

Ever since he’d started university there’d been a tradition of going out drinking on the weekend closest to one’s birthday. It been a major social event. He’d planned for it weeks in advance. 

This year he’d just… forgotten he’d been born.

He was counting down to giving birth himself and he’d forgotten his own birthday.

Perhaps that was growing up.

The first parcel he opened was a care package from Dopheld- a lot of sweets, a handwritten book of recipes, and a maternity shirt with an oven on it with two buns inside. 

Armitage had immediately taken a photo of himself in that. He might not have heard any news from Ben but he was still keeping a record. Maybe the babies would want to see it one day even if no one else cared.

The second parcel was from Dr Massa. It was a home birth guide for Omegas and a lot more books. He said Thanisson had mentioned Armitage’s birthday. Armitage mostly wondered why the two of them had met.

The third box had been sent on to him by Dopheld.

The contents almost broke his heart. 

It was from Ben.

But not  _ current _ Ben. 

According to the printout stuffed in the box Ben had pre-ordered these items for Armie sometime before Christmas, knowing they’d be shipped in time for his birthday.

**[To Techie, my most beloved wizard, may your bag of holding always be full and your spell slots never be empty. Kylo]**

Inside was a slimfit hoodie in Techie’s favoured shade of acid yellow, a fancy backpack that was overflowing with pockets, and a giant light-up d20. 

Fighting back tears he tried on the hoodie. It barely met at the chest now he was filling out a little and it would definitely never cover his bump, but he kept it on anyway. Another photo, this time with red rimmed eyes. His hair was getting long now, he really was starting to look like his character. 

After some thought he filled the bag with baby supplies and things he’d been advised to pack if he had to go to hospital. It felt nice to know something from Ben would be supporting them in some small way.

The d20 he gave to Millicent, the kitten who’d moved herself in without ever asking. Somehow she always rolled 20s with it.

Late at night he’d hear the die rolling across the floor and wonder if Ben would see the humour in it.

* * *

“Come on, Plasma, keep up!” Ben joked as the pair of them marched along the sidewalk in perfect time.

He’d been released from the oncology ward and was living in an apartment designed for long term patients instead, but he still hadn’t shaken that odd nocturnal pattern of wakefulness he’d picked up when he was ill.

He didn’t worry about that too much. It was late June now. After living so long in England the daylight hours in Texas were just too hot for him. 

Besides, it meant he could keep on hanging out with Phasma. He didn’t have much else to do since the last argument with his parents had driven them out of town. 

She worked out for an hour each evening at the hospital’s on site gym, which was the perfect activity for him to tag along to and let him feel like he was getting something useful done.

His treatment had stripped him of his strength.

He still hadn’t been given the all clear yet- Alphas were notorious for relapses- but he wanted to keep all the progress he’d made so far and getting strong seemed like a good starting point. 

At this stage his progress was pretty underwhelming- a mile or two on the treadmill and a medium setting on the weights, but given that he couldn’t sit up a month ago he knew he had every reason to feel proud of himself. 

Standing next to Phasma didn’t really help with that. 

Of course he’d known she was big- what with being two inches taller than him- but out of her uniform she was surprisingly muscular, and strong enough to lift him. Which she did often. For fun.

“Hey, it’s everyone’s favourite couple!” Called a woman with razor sharp cheekbones and a painfully tight ponytail who was already running on another treadmill.

“Ew, knock it off, Unamo!” Phasma snapped back. “You know I’m not into men. And I’m not that interested in other Alphas either.”

“ _ He’s _ an Alpha?”

Ben bristled at that. “Hey! Come on! I had cancer!”

Unamo raised her hands defensively. “Hey, sorry friend, I didn’t mean anything by that.”

“Whatever.” 

* * *

Armitage was in the kitchen, elbow deep in repotting some of the fruiting plants from the greenhouse, when a car crunched its way up the drive.

He could tell by the sound that it wasn’t the postman, or any of the neighbours who visited occasionally to buy produce and check in on him. Everyone around here drove 4x4s or vans- this sounded like a much smaller car. 

Wiping his hands on a towel he headed to the front door, already regretting his earlier choice of wearing leggings cut into shorts and the buns-in-the-oven shirt. Knowing his luck it’d be his father or Lady Mothma or…

“Holy shit, there’s a man the size of a house in this house!”

“Fuck off, Thanisson,” Armitage sighed and pretended to shut the door in his face.

Instead of apologising the man on his doorstep decided to double down. “Seriously, you’re fucking massive! When are you due? Next week?”

“Second week of October actually.”

“Oh my g-”

“Stop it you two,” Dopheld said with the pained expression of someone who’d been dealing with this kind of behaviour for six hours or more. 

“You look like you could do with a cup of tea, ‘Pheld,” Armitage waved them into the house. “Cyanide or strychnine in yours, Thanisson?”

“He prefers arsenic,” a third voice rumbled. It belonged to a massive blond man who looked like he’d been born wearing a disguise. 

Armitage blinked. “Oh, well, I’ve only got milk so he’ll just have to make do.” 

As he turned to Dopheld to mime ‘who the fuck is this?’ Thanisson stepped forward.

“This is Matt." He said, then when Armitage didn’t react he added. “My fiance?” Then in a hissed whisper, “My Beta? Remember?”

“That’s your sugar daddy?!” Armitage said far too loudly, then cringed. 

He clearly hadn’t been socialising enough.

* * *

It was nice to have other humans in the house for more than five minutes, though Armitage had already felt the need to tell everyone not to go to the top floor more than once.

Thanisson had tried to make fun of him over that, but Dopheld had pulled him aside. At least Dopheld understood. This whole house was basically his nest now, and with a strange Beta in the mix he was a little bit on edge. 

In the end Matt had proved to be intense but helpful. He enjoyed working with his hands and had little interest in Omega gossip, so Armitage had been able to give him a list of tasks to do with any guilt. He could see why Thanisson liked him. 

Millicent- as he’d named the cat- liked him too, but that was because Matt kept feeding her Peperamis when he thought Armitage wasn’t looking. He didn’t mind, Matt repaired things he hadn’t a hope in hell of reaching and gave the three of them a chance to reconnect.

Apparently Dopheld had been planning this visit since he’d originally dropped Armitage off. 

At first he’d just been intending to come alone with the other items he’d bought- cribs, a pram that converted to a stroller, a couple of mysterious ‘babywearing’ devices- but the plan had spiralled once Thanisson found out about it. 

Now it was going to be a week long vacation at the house, with extra shopping excursions so Armitage could treat himself to fancier food than he could normally afford. 

He appreciated the kindness, even if he didn’t like the lack of advanced warning, but it soon became clear they were also there for other reasons. 

The academic year was over and without Armitage in the house over the summer to look after it they’d decided to end the lease. So they’d no longer be able to forward his mail.

He’d tried to set up a redirection order with the Post Office when he first left, but like many things it had been outside his budget. Even though news from Ben had been looking less and less likely for a while now, it was hard knowing that avenue was cut off permanently. 

July also meant that Dopheld was graduating soon, and he’d decided to move to Edinburgh for the next stage of his education. He’d be much closer to Armitage if he needed help- though he’d still be three hours away and on the wrong coast. Still it was better than nothing.

The final piece of news was that Thanisson and Matt were going to get married- the Beta way, in a fancy hotel with flowers, and caterers, and all that jazz. If that was surprising in itself, Thanisson choice of best man - Armitage - was absolutely baffling. 

There’d been an argument about that until Matt stepped in and pointed out that their kind of bickering was the foundation of a good best man’s speech. Armitage had thought that was bullshit but Betas were strange enough that it was probably true. 

The wedding wouldn’t be for a year. They’d have plenty of time to sort it all out.

The four of them were sitting down to dinner, Millicent winding around Matt’s feet begging for scraps, when it suddenly hit Armitage that everyone was moving on. They were all progressing to the next stage of their lives and he was stuck here, doing nothing.

As if to register a complaint about his thoughts the twin at the front of his belly kicked him hard in the ribs. 

Well, maybe he was doing something with his time.

Beside him Dopheld shyly asked if he could feel the babies moving, and Armitage forgot all about his melancholy mood. 

* * *

Ben raised his glass up for Phasma to clink with her bottle of Blue Ribbon. His muscles rippled under his tight black shirt like his dreams of a year ago had finally come to fruition. All it had taken to get the body he’d always wanted was meeting Phasma and almost dying of cancer. It wasn’t exactly the Charles Atlas method, but it had worked.

“To the 15th of August 2009!” He said.

“To remission!” Phasma added.

“To new beginnings!”

“To the bar!” Unamo cut in with a laugh.

Phasma giggled at that one and drained her glass. 

“Good idea and well volunteered,” she said. “The next round is on you.” 

Leaning forward in her slinky dress Unamo practically purred as she asked, “And what will you give me for it?” 

Behind her Ben making a gagging gesture.

“How about a kiss?”

“Hey!” Ben held out a hand between them. “How about- this is  _ my _ ‘100% cancer free’ party, and since _ I _ don’t have a date, how about you two wait until I’ve gone home before you start climbing all over each other?”

Both women made rude gestures at him, but at least they made it all the way to the bar before they started making out. 

Ben turned in his seat anyway. 

He didn’t need to see that. Not when Armitage had vanished off the face of the earth. He hated being alone. He hated that he’d driven his family away,  _ again. _ He hated that…

“Excuse me, sir?”

Ben looked up into the face of a man wearing a very expensive suit. He automatically tried to hide his glass behind his back. He wouldn’t be twenty one for another four weeks. 

The man laughed.

“Don’t worry, son, I’m not interested in what you’re drinking. My name is Cardinal. I represent a modelling agency called Knights and I couldn’t help but notice your striking look. Tell me- what’s your name?”

He didn’t hesitate.

“Kylo Ren.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any phobias/triggers you might want to check the tags...

The summer passed by in long lazy nearly identical days. 

Armitage had been under the impression that the Highlands would be bleak and barren but the little valley around the house was surprisingly verdant. Everything seemed to be growing and full of life- the animals, the plants, him. 

He woke most mornings now wondering how he could possibly get any bigger. 

All of his clothes stretched tight across his belly- even the maternity shirt Dopheld had bought him- and his leggings had been relegated to sitting under his bump. Underwear was a nightmare and socks were a thing of the past.

Walking too was different. Not difficult as such, just strange. A constant feeling of being off balance all the time that made everything seem harder. 

Getting through the chores with so much bump in the way was especially challenging- he’d taken to shuffling around the garden so any chicks that tried to get under foot weren’t squashed, and tending the plants was a constant battle to find any kind of comfortable position to work in. He ended up on hands and knees more often than not. It was more comfortable that way, even if his arse was on display. He wondered if that was the origin of some Omegas stereotypes.

There were a lot of offensive assumptions about Omegas, especially males. Armitage had long responded to the idea that he was somehow promiscuous or easy by being rigidly prudish- most Omegas did. 

People thought that heat desperation was the whole of their existence, which was clearly nonsense. Though most nights that summer Armitage would have agreed. 

He was endlessly horny and usually too tired to do anything about it. At least he understood why though.

He  _ should _ have been bonding with his Alpha, forming a tight Mated unit that would be ready to raise a family.

Of course he couldn’t do that, but even without his Alpha there his body was still preparing for the twins arrival and that involved much the same process as a heat.

It was a common schoolboy joke that babies came out of male Omegas the way they went in, but it wasn’t true. Usually only Omegas and some Alphas learned about the reality like it was the last taboo of modern society- somehow too dangerous for others to know. Such a stupid attitude to have, but it left Armitage feeling defiantly ashamed all the same.

Armitage had known about it all his life, the innocuous looking seam that started just behind his testicles and ran back along his perineum. Until a few weeks it had been inert, but now it was gradually getting softer and self lubricating. In female Omegas it was entirely internal- the connection point between secondary womb and birth canal. In male Omegas it was the entire birth canal- an extra hidden orifice that only made itself known in pregnancy and sealed up again a few weeks after.

In a way it just made the whole process seem that much more alien to him. At some point in the not too distant future he was going to need to get two babies out through something entirely unfamiliar.

The book Dr Massa had sent him helped, so he spent most nights reading a few pages before bed. If that meant he dreamed about birthing poses and other necessities, well, in a way it was almost like practice. 

And at least that meant he wasn’t dreaming about Ben. He missed him terribly, but he’d started to many mornings with tears. It was time to be stronger.

* * *

The modelling had started as a joke.

Or more accurately  _ he’d _ thought it was a joke. Once he’d gotten home- home being the couch in Phasma’s apartment after he’d been properly discharged from the hospital but too angry to go back to his parents- and sobered up, he’d had something of a panic attack about giving his details to that strange man.

What if it was a joke? Or a fetish thing? Or a front for a gang of Alpha traffickers? Or a scam he couldn’t get out of without paying thousands of dollars?

In the end he’d only gone because he owed Phasma food and rent money, and he’d still taken her along with him as backup.

It had been a real photo shoot, for a real and relatively well known fashion house. 

‘Kylo Ren’ had ended up in a magazine- only a quarter of a page but that was far more than he’d ever expected. The whole process had been awkward and he’d felt weirdly self conscious throughout, but it was also the first genuine achievement in a year that had mostly been spent dying.

The pay hadn’t been great but since he was sleeping on Phasma’s couch it had seemed better than nothing for a few hours of fucking around. He hadn’t expected it to happen again so why negotiate?

Phasma was the one who made him see sense when he was called back for another shoot and then another. He’d handed her most of his wages and she’d looked at him like he was insane.

“Dude, do you really think I can’t afford this one bed apartment on my own?” She’d asked, waving a hand at the tiny space they were both crammed into. “I’ve lived here for years and I have a well paid job. It’s not like I’m renting you a room, it’s a couch for fucks sake.”

“You have a ten year old phone! Look at it, it barely even makes calls!”

“Exactly! I don’t want anyone to call me. I don’t send texts,” She pointed at her own hand, “I’m an Alpha, just like you, these fingers are popular with the ladies but useless when it comes to tiny ass tech. All I ever get on my phone is shift changes from work anyway, so I don’t need something expensive that I can’t fucking use.”

Ben slumped in place. She had a point. “I eat a lot of food though.”

“Then just buy your own food!”

“What am I going to do with all this money?”

He yelped when she grabbed him by the ears and dragged him closer. He tried to wriggle away but she had a hell of a grip.

“Are you fucking stupid?! There are two things I think of right off the top of my head- one, rent your own apartment and get out of my hair; or two, get enough money to fly back to England and your goddamn Omega!!”

Ben growled at her, teeth bared at the mention of Armie.

Phasma slapped him.

Silence rang through the room then as they stared at each other, both realising what they were doing.

In the months since he began his recovery Ben had put on muscle and weight at a surprising speed but they still weren’t quite evenly matched. Phasma could hold her own if they fought.

But why the fuck were they fighting?

And why had Ben given up on Armie?

He sat abruptly, missing the couch and ending up on a heap on the floor. “Fuck.”

“That wasn’t fair…” Phasma started to say.

“FUCK!”

All of a sudden his chest was aching like he was facing off with his mother all over again. He’d forced it all down and now he felt like he was drowning.

“Ben, why  _ are _ you still here?”

“Leia has my passport. She… she was worried I was going to leave as soon as I could walk,” and she’d been justified in that fear because Ben had tried to leave more than once in the early days of his recovery. “She wanted me to wait until I was in remission.”

“So? You’re in remission- ask for your passport back.”

“I uh… I said some things and… I meant them, and I won’t say sorry for them…”

Phasma sighed. “You’re asshole, you know that, right?”

“She can’t understand, she fucking married a Beta,” Ben said, broken fragments of sentences tumbling over each other like an avalanche. “she doesn’t understand what being with an Omega does to you, then she found out who Armie’s father was, and she… She thinks he’s a bad influence.”

The look Phasma gave him definitely conveyed the fact that she didn’t believe him, but she didn’t argue. Almost all her family were Alphas- she knew how they could get.

“Okay, so your mom has your passport. Do  _ you _ have your birth certificate? Because against all the evidence- you  _ are  _ an adult. You can just report it stolen and get another one.” Phasma sighed heavily and poked him with her foot. “Look, get more work, save your money, get a new passport, get some plane tickets and fucking get your life back together. Okay? You can live here as long as you need to and I’ll not charge you anything, just, _ get on with it  _ or I will fucking punch you.”

Ben wasn’t sure what paperwork he had but Phasma was right. There were things he could do for himself. 

He stayed on the floor, brain almost audibly whirring as he tried to come up with a plan. 

This was a quest right? 

He needed resources. He needed to eat and stay fit, he needed money so he’d have to get more work, and it wouldn’t do to only have enough cash for the passport or the flight- who knew how long it’d take to find Armie? He needed a lot of money.

He called his modelling agent- Kylo Ren was going to go professional.

* * *

September came with cold wind and brought with it the desire to in earnest.

At first Armitage had told himself he was only being practical- during the summer he’d kept the furnishings in his bedroom to a minimum, so of course he was cold with only two blankets. And he needed extra pillows to support his bump. And what was one or two or four more duvets? He needed to be comfortable in order to sleep. 

When he realised he had stripped every single bed in the house for linen, he had to admit matters had gone beyond comfort.

Well, he might as well embrace his stereotypes. 

There were even hooks set into the sloping walls of his room, ideally place for hanging blankets and duvets to create the perfect little cave of warmth. Someone had put a lot of love into this room once. 

He hoped they’d raised a happy family here, he could use the good vibes.

Every night he went over his plan, rubbing his belly and telling the twins how it would be. Six more weeks and they’d be out in the world with him. They’d be born in this bed. This would be their introduction to the world. 

To that end he dug out all the photos he had of Ben- the last picture they’d taken together before he left, and the one someone else had taken of them at D&D. That one he loved the most- maybe they hadn’t realised they cared for each other yet but it was there in Ben’s cheeky grin and the way Armitage was trying not to laugh. 

He pinned them both up on the wall by the bed. It wasn’t much, but it was all he had.

* * *

Kylo Ren was a success.

More than that Kylo Ren was a star.

Ben still didn’t understand that. He knew what he looked like in the mirror. Less than ten months ago he’d been a skeleton barely clinging to life, and his new body still didn’t feel like his own. 

Apparently that was part of the charm.

Photographers loved him. They loved the awkwardness, the aggression, and the confusion. It made absolutely no sense but they absolutely ate up the way he couldn’t get on with his coworkers.

He felt terrible about that, but he’d gained a reputation as a vicious asshole and he just couldn’t shake it. They kept on wanting him to do romantic shoots but he couldn’t bear for anyone to touch him. Makeup he could just about force his way through but the first time someone had been ordered to sit in his lap he’d thrown them off. 

It was only luck that the manoeuvre resulted in an award winning photograph instead of a goddamn lawsuit. He still couldn’t believe that. The picture had ended up on billboards- him snarling with teeth bared and muscles clenched, some pretty Omega falling backwards with diaphanous clothes floating around him. Ben changed his route through the city just to avoid looking at it, and his employers put it on the front page of his portfolio.

Getting money wasn’t going as quickly as he’d hoped. Success meant relocating and leaving Texas behind. He was in New York, paying New York prices for a space barely bigger than Phasma’s couch, and he was starting to lose his mind.

He worked out for long hours everyday just to sleep, training in any new discipline he could find just to add to his portfolio and give him a new way to wear out his muscles. Capoeira, Aikido, stage fighting, mixed martial arts, he tried everything.

Some days he could pretend he was Kylo Ren the Paladin levelling up, but most of the time he felt like an idiot flailing his way through life.

Phasma has told him he was an adult but he didn’t really believe it.

The universe had made a mistake there.

No one else had noticed yet.

Except possibly the kid staring at him from the other side of the set with smart brown eyes. 

She had the look of one of those children who went into filmmaking as an infant and now knew the ropes better than anyone else in the building. 

Meanwhile this was Kylo’s very first television commercial- a holiday campaign for a major luxury brand themed around Little Red Riding Hood. The girl was playing the title role and Kylo was going to be the woodsman. Except in this version Red would be defeating the wolf with only minimal help from Kylo. 

She was wielding a staff three feet taller than her with frightening confidence for a kid who looked to be about ten years old. 

All Kylo had was a blunt sword and an overwhelming fear that if he accidentally hit this kid he really was going to get sued. 

The Big Bad Wolf was some random Alpha in a motion capture suit and a giant head from a furry costume. He kept walking into trees. This time he seemed to have knocked himself out.

Kylo gave up on filming any time soon and sat down on a log off to one side to get out of the way of the medics. 

“You smell weird,” the girl said out of nowhere, repeatedly swinging her staff so it almost touched his face but not quite. He wanted to snatch it away but he daren’t.

“Yeah, people tell me that. Must be all the annoying kids I ate.”

“Ha ha.” The girl jabbed him in the chest.

He was oddly aware that she smelled strange too, actually not strange- familiar. The old tropes about Alphas sniffing people all the time were mostly exaggerated stereotypes but sometimes he did notice things through scent. 

For some reason this random kid on the wrong side of the country smelled like family.

“What’s your name?” He asked. “I like to know what my next meal is called before I eat them.”

“You’re not the wolf dumbass,” She said, then, “I’m Rey.”

“Just Rey?”

“Yep, like Madonna, or Prince. S’better than Kylo Ren.”

“It’s a made up name.”

“Obviously,” scoffed Rey. “I bet your real name is super lame though. You look like you have a boring name.” 

“Ben Solo.”

“Like the cup!”

Kylo snorted at that. “Yeah like I’ve never heard that before. My grandpa had a great name though,” he raised his hands and waved them through the air like a banner, “Anakin Skywalker. Tell me that isn’t a cool name?”

Rey was looking at him oddly.

“I’m adopted.” She said as she stepped closer. “My parents think kids should know where they come from so they let me see my certificates.” She leaned in to whisper conspiratorially in his ear. “My mom’s surname was Skywalker too.”

He leaned back to look at her again- Luke’s eyes were blue but Wedge had had brown, and so did Leia. Yeah, he knew that piercing calculated look. 

He hesitated then, unsure what to do until the director summoned them all back to the set and the moment was lost. 

He was still so angry at Luke that he could barely think of him without grinding his teeth, but, well, if this was Luke’s kid… If Ben had a kid out there somewhere he’d want to know they were okay… but then it wasn’t Ben’s place to tell Luke or to tell this child information she might not be ready to hear. He could talk to her parents though, she’d said they believed in-

Rey hit him square in the crotch because he wasn’t paying attention to his marks and once again filming was halted while a medic was summoned.

She was definitely related to him. Just like the rest of his family she was an expert at hurting him without meaning to.

* * *

Armitage’s phone rang for the first time in months on the morning of the 1st of October.

“Good morning,” Dr Massa said happily. “How are you?”

“Huge,” Armitage replied through gritted teeth. It was weird but he wanted to bite the phone. What the fuck was that about?

“No sign of movement on the baby front then? You’re due in the next two weeks but since I haven’t heard from you yet, I thought I’d better check in.”

“We’re fine.” 

That was true- the twins were wriggling away quite happily under skin stretched so tight it was almost painful, but they weren’t showing any sign of wanting to vacate the premises.

“Are you feeling aggressive, Armitage?” the specialist asked like he was offering a cup of tea. “Is this call upsetting you?”

He thought for a moment but honesty had always been the best policy with the doctor.

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, that’s a good sign, excellent nesting instinct! Now, this is my personal number, if you need any help call me any time and I’ll talk you through it, okay?” He laughed. “I’m sure they’ll be here any day now!”

Dr Massa couldn’t have been more wrong.

* * *

“Don’t touch me!!” Kylo snapped. The three women pulled back, turning in unison to look at the photographer.

“Kylo! You can’t…” he began, but he was already gone.

The first escape door slammed behind him as he darted out of the studio into the alleyway. He couldn’t say the scent of garbage was much better than the fake sexual tension in there but he had to get out. It was the second week of October and he’d been roped into this ridiculous last minute ‘Dracula’ themed shoot by his new manager.

He’d made it clear a thousand times that he didn’t do anything that involved touching Omegas but apparently no one cared about his boundaries any more. He was fully booked clear through Christmas with more work than he could handle, constant cross country flights, never a chance to rest and First Order Models was still texting him with yet more assignments. 

He was barely three months into his modelling career and he was already burning out over it.

If he weren’t so set on saving the money to get back to Armie he’d have thrown his phone into the Hudson by now and gone to live in the goddamn woods.

* * *

“I’ve tried being nice,” Armitage said conversationally, “I’ve tried being mean, I’ve tried eating curry, I’ve tried fasting, I’ve tried climbing the stairs until I wanted to puke, I’ve even tried jumping up and down on the goddamn bed…  _ WHAT THE HELL IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET YOU OUT OF ME!?! _ ”

One of the twins pushed so hard on his belly it looked like a scene from Alien.

“NOT THAT WAY!!! DOWN!!”

“Uh, Mr Renley?” A voice called at the doorbell rang for probably the second time. “You alright in there?”

“For fucks sake… YES! Just a minute…” He grumbled as he waddled gracelessly to the front door. The journey seemed to take a million years.

The postman greeted him with an awkward smile. “Still pregnant then?”

Armitage just stared at him.

“Try pineapple.” The man said, holding out a parcel. 

“Thanks,” he replied as he snatched it and slammed the door. 

He’d had Dopheld send him three kilos of luxury high-cocoa chocolate. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

* * *

Ben woke in a cold sweat at 11pm in a hotel room he’d barely looked at before he passed out. Whatever was wrong with him his heart rate just wouldn’t come back down.

He glanced at his phone, wondering if he’d missed a call but there was nothing there. The corridor outside was silent, and his room was too high above LA to hear anything from the streets below through the thick glass. 

Today’s shoot had been exhausting- another action themed video with the same child star as before, but to make matters worse his uncle had turned up on the set. Apparently he’d been invited by her parents - Ben had passed on Luke’s information to them in the end- but he hadn’t expected to witness the reunion. 

He knew he shouldn’t resent Luke’s first bit of happiness in a decade, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Luke had lost Ben his own reunion. 

He’d ended up storming off set and punching a hole in his dressing room mirror. 

Maybe that was why he was awake- guilt. Or physical pain. 

Ben stared out over the city until dawn.

Something in his belly ached but he couldn’t quite place it. 

* * *

Less than a week before Halloween and ten days past his due date Armitage was absolutely losing his mind.

A condition that was emphasised by fact that he was on his hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, in the nude, at 6am in the morning. He just couldn’t bear to look at the grout in that state any more. The dirt was driving him bananas. 

Everything was irritating him today.

He felt like his skin was five sizes too small. 

Clothes hurt.

The air felt weird.

Everything in this goddamn house was dirty and it had to be clean.

Millicent meowed at him, winding under his arms to rub her face against his belly where it almost touched the floor. 

He tensed, shuddering at the ticklish touch of her whiskers on his skin. 

“Go away, Mil,” He sighed and shuffled under the kitchen table to scrub the darker squares where the table legs usually met the tiles.

She meowed again.

A few minutes later he shuddered again, a full body shiver as his belly tensed.

“Millie, stop it!”

He spotted a few congealed splashes of marmalade on the edge of the hearth and crawled over there, shivering at the wet sensation of Millicent licking his calves. 

Apparently old marmalade turned into concrete because it took him several minutes just to chip it away.

Another shiver.

“For fucks sake-”

Millicent meowed angrily at him from her bed on the far side of the kitchen. 

If she was over there then… the small dots of wetness on his calves abruptly turned into a pouring sensation, like someone had emptied a jug of warm water between his thighs.

He looked back.

For some reason his first thought was ‘great, I just cleaned the floor, and now there’s a trail of water all over it’ but then his sensible brain registered the huge amount of liquid pouring from the space behind his balls.

Well, he had to hope these babies were smarter than him because apparently he was a fucking idiot. 

He was just wondering whether he could safely get up off the floor when his body answered him with another contraction that rippled through him hard enough to take his breath away.

Okay, so this was progressing pretty fast then- he’d only noticed three other tensings of his muscles and they’d just felt like being tickled. This felt like being squeezed in a full body vice.

He phone was on the table. He could see it but he really didn’t think he could reach it. 

“Millicent? Pass me the phone…” He said, knowing full well it wouldn’t work.

The cat curled up, ears pressed flat against her head in fear. 

“Thanks!” He hissed sarcastically as another ripple went through him.

He reached a shaking hand back, wiping it against his thigh - suddenly horribly aware of how dirty the floor was- before he touched gently between his legs. 

Something solid and covered in wet curls was stretching the edges of his birth canal.

“Oh yeah, this is just great, you’re ten days late and  _ now _ you decide to hurry?” He muttered, trying desperately not to panic. 

He was on his hands and knees in the middle of the tiled kitchen floor without even his own shirt to put under himself.

He couldn’t give birth here. He couldn’t…

Another wave rolled over him.

Clearly he was going to.

Finally he spotted something useful- the laundry basket was only a few feet away, filled with clothes and towels.

He groaned in relief and reached out to grab a handful. The change in position triggered something inside him and he couldn’t resist the urge to bear down one second longer.

All he had time to do was shove a pile of something soft between his knees as the first baby slithered out in one long rush. He managed to catch its head with his other hand and soften the fall, but it was still a terrifying moment. 

In fact he was so scared he didn’t notice the pain until he breathed in again and almost screamed. Everything hurt. Body parts he’d never been aware of before burned from the stretch, his prostate felt like it had been punched, and his stomach… his stomach clenched again, much harder this time now that one of its occupants was gone, and the second baby felt like it was tumbling inside him. 

This pose was suddenly wrong now. He could sense it, the second twin would be too far forward in his belly, he’d be pushing against gravity…

Between his knees the first baby wailed.

Millicent dashed out of the room like the armies of hell were after her.

Too much was going on but he didn’t even have time to panic. 

Armitage reached down to bundle up the first baby in a shirt that happened to be at the top of the ruined pile of laundry and held it awkwardly against his chest, shivering at the wet sensation of the cord pulsing against his skin. 

Then he grit his teeth and shifted to a crouch.

His thighs ached immediately, his knees screaming at the sudden rush of blood after so long kneeling, and then he forgot all of that under the wave of pressure in his belly. 

This one was harder. Much harder. He had to cling to the fireplace in front of him as he struggled to keep his balance and bear down all at once. 

For several contractions it felt like nothing was happening. The first baby wriggled and gurgled against his chest, somehow getting itself into position and latching on a nipple entirely on its own. Maybe that was what did it- he knew feeding released hormones- or maybe it was just coincidence, but on the next ripple the second baby shifted abruptly into place. 

This time he couldn’t bite down the scream but the movement of his lungs seemed to help because the baby crowned and then finally slithered free on the next push. 

Armitage felt back onto his arse, utterly exhausted but knowing his wasn’t done yet. 

The second baby whimpered instead of crying, tiny fists waving at the ceiling as Armitage fought to get his breath back. Picking it up- no, picking  _ her _ up took more energy than he would have imagined, but after a second or two he had her against his chest too, happily latched on.

His stomach rippled weakly, the afterbirths soon to follow, but for now all he could do was lay flat on the tiles and stare at the ceiling. 

He’d done it.

His babies were here.

Now all he wanted to do was sleep, but that really wasn’t an option. 

The clock was just in his field of vision. 

7:25am on the 24th of October for the second baby, probably ten minutes earlier for the first.

He craned his neck up, peering at the baby wrapped in what he now realised was Ben’s ‘Lawful Good’ shirt. She was a girl too, but probably an Alpha. 

“Hi baby,” he murmured, the lump in his throat making his voice crackle. “Hi. Your name is Benja Armie Solo. You’re the oldest, so you’re in charge. Okay?” He turned to the second baby. “Kyla Tessa Solo, you’re the youngest, so you’re going to be the sensible one. You hear that Ben?”

He sank back to laying flat on the floor. All he could see was the ceiling, but in his head he was looking at the sky. 

“I named them after you!” He shouted. “So you have to come back to me, okay? Dead or alive, Ben, I don’t care anymore!”

* * *

Dopheld kicked awkwardly at the door, trying to balance a huge bag over one shoulder and a hamper under the other arm. There were lights on in the house but winter storms had knocked out the phone lines a week ago so he hadn’t been able to call ahead and remind Armitage that he was coming.

He kicked again. He hoped he wasn’t waking the babies with all the noise, but he was also freezing his arse off out here.

Finally a shape appeared behind the frosted glass, but opening the door seemed to be a challenge.

“What do you want… ‘Pheld?” Armitage blinked at him from behind a thick beard and unbrushed hair. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy Christmas! … Yes?” Dopheld frowned, a little worried now. “Are you okay?”

From somewhere behind Armitage two babies could be heard babbling at each other. 

Armitage swayed slightly. “It’s not Christmas yet.”

“It’s the 24th of December?”

“That can’t be right… the babies are only eight weeks and five days old…”

“Exactly? Armitage, when did you last sleep?”

Instead of answering the Omega in front of him just laughed hollowly. At his feet the orange cat appeared with a curious meow that turned demanding when it saw Dopheld. 

“Oookay,” Dopheld sighed. Clearly this was going to very similar to going home for Christmas. “Come on tired mama, you take a nap on the couch, uncle Dopheld is here to save the day.”

Armitage didn’t even respond, he just turned on his heel, took about five steps into the living room and passed out before his face even hit the couch cushions. 

In a little nest of blankets on the floor, a safe distance from the fire, two dark haired babies wriggled and kicked, their pudgy hands inexpertly linked together. Millicent wailed at Dopheld one more time before settling down so her face was resting between their heads and her butt was pointing towards the fireplace. Clearly, warmth was as much a priority as babysitting. 

“Now, which one of you is Benja and which one is Kyla?” He asked with an ironic little smile. Someone - almost certainly Armitage- had written B and K on their onesies. They weren’t identical, but given how tired their mother had been it seemed like a sensible precaution. “I’m sure we’re going to be the best of friends.”

Dopheld wondered how much trouble he’d get into if he deferred his next term. He wasn’t sure one week of helping out was going to be enough.

* * *

“Two! One!” Phasma laughed, kissing her panting Omega as the two of them collapsed against the headboard of her bed. “Happy New Year!!!”

“Wooo….” Unamo tried to raise her arms above her head but they were shaking too much. “What a way to start the year…” She slumped back even further until she was draped over her Alpha. “I feel boneless…” She giggled. “Well, not entirely boneless!” She couldn’t help laughing at her own stupid joke. 

The jostling made Phasma hiss a little in discomfort but she laughed anyway. This was the first time she’d knotted anyone, but she wasn’t going to admit that to the Omega she so desperately wanted to make her own before this heat was over. She had to impress her.

Her phone beeped as if timed specifically to embarrass her. 

Having the advantage of sitting in her lap, Unamo grabbed it before Phasma could. 

“Who’s wishing you a Happy New Year?” She asked with fake jealousy… “oooh it’s… Rodinon.” She made a rude noise and exited the message. “He sends the same cutesy texts to everyone every damn year, with asterisk fireworks. Do you think he types it out every time?”

Phasma shrugged. She didn’t care, but Unamo wriggling about like this was perfect. She wrapped her arms around her too-skinny middle and gently tickled her, groaning at the sensation.

“Heeeeyyyy…” Unamo groaned, slapping her wrists. “Wait five minutes and we can go again, okay? You’re gonna wear me out.”

“I thought that was the point of a heat?”

“No, the point is clearly to knock me up, you wear me out too soon and it won’t be any fun.”

Phasma’s mouth had gone dry all of a sudden. “What?”

“I’m kidding, I’m on the pill.” Unamo kissed her cheek. “Man, I can’t believe you still have such an old phone. It’s like a time machine of shittiness. Oh my god, you haven’t had another text since Rodinon’s Christmas message with the Santa made from letters?”

“No one texts me!”

“If you let me get you a real phone I’ll sext you… oooor…” She wriggled her hips. “if you get a video phone I’ll- huh.”

“You’ll what?” Phasma asked, kissing her neck.

“Phasma, what’s this weird number?”

She peered at the screen, not really understanding the question. 

The old Nokia only showed four items in her inbox at a time, butUnamo had scrolled past the two holiday messages from Rodinon and an usual flurry of requests for shift cover that had appeared from Canady all in one morning about six months ago, down to the seventh message in the inbox. 

The name was just a weird collection of symbols as well as numbers. 

Phasma was about to shrug and say ‘delete it’ when Unamo clicked the open button anyway.

“Oh.” To say she turned cold would be an understatement. It felt more like her blood froze in her veins. “Oh no.”

Fuck.

FUCK!

**FUCK!!!**

“Gimme your phone!” She said, reaching to grab her own out of Unamo’s hands.

“What? Why?! You’re literally holding your own phone right now!”

“Yeah, but I can’t make a call and read the screen at the same time, and I can’t exactly get up and get a pen right now so- gimme your phone!”

Unamo grumbled about it, but she managed to grab her jeans. “Stupid shitty phone. Here, don’t use all my minutes calling Mars or some shit like that.”

“I won’t.” Phasma promised, kissing her girlfriend’s shoulder one more time as she dialled a different number. “Hi, Ben? Whoa, that’s loud, where are you? But it’s already New Year… oh you’re still in LA? Well, I need you go outside cos I gotta talk to you and you have to swear you won’t freak out, okay?”

* * *

Kylo stumbled into the foyer of an incredibly expensive hotel, immediately drawing the eye of two very professional and humourless looking concierges standing by the front desk.

“Why do I need a pen?” He asked Phasma for the third time. He wasn’t sure if she was making no sense, or if he was just too drunk to understand. “Okay, okay, I’ll.. I’ll get one! ‘Scuse me…” 

He turned towards the front desk but one of the staff was already holding out a pencil and a pad of paper.

“Thanks!” He tried to smile. His face didn’t work properly. “Okay, what am I… open brackets? What?? Why am I…”

The nearest concierge tapped him gently on the shoulder. “Sir, would you like me to?” He motioned towards the phone.

“YeS! Please… I don’t what she talking about…”

Kylo stood there, gently swaying as the man neatly wrote out a number and then handed the phone back to him.

“That’s a English number!” He said once he could focus on it.

He blinked.

“What do you mean ‘it’s Armie’s number’?!” Kylo asked, not noticing the way the concierges looked at each other at the sudden change of his tone. He was no longer a cheerful drunk. “ _ How long have you HAD THAT NUMBER?!? _ ”

The concierge who’d helped him moved cautiously forward. Kylo was a very big Alpha, but the staff here were also very well trained.

**_“MAY?!?!?”_ **

A group of guests near the elevator jumped in fright and scurried off as Kylo punched the light panel covering the front of the reception desk.

“SIR!” The concierge barked warningly. The glass was shattered and there was blood already dripping to the floor, but this was the kind of establishment where celebrities had regular breakdowns. It wouldn’t be good customer service to call for security right away.

Kylo slumped to the ground like his legs had given out. 

“You had Armie’s number for more than half a year, Phasma… I don’t care how shitty your phone is… I nearly died… What do you mean you saved me?” Kylo sniffled, and rubbed at his face. “Well, I don’t want a fucking traitor’s bone marrow! I want my Omega!! I WANT ARMIE!!!”

He threw the phone across the room and folded into a sobbing heap before the handset had even shattered on the tiles.

The staff shared another look. 

It wasn’t even midnight yet and they were already ferrying crying guests up to their rooms. New Years was always the same. 

The concierge carefully folded up the paper. “Come on, Sir, I’ll show you how to make international calls from your room… and I think we might want a doctor to look at that hand.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Did I ever actually say thank you?” Armitage asked, quietly. He was curled up on the sofa with Benja dozing milk-drunk across his knees and Kyla held gently against his chest. 

He looked oddly small with a blanket draped cloak-like over his bony shoulders- the twins were taking the weight off him pretty fast. He hadn’t expected to be able to feed them himself but his body insisted on it. 

Dopheld handed him a plate of toast and put the tea down carefully on the table while Millicent wound around his ankles wailing for food of her own.

“You didn’t,” he laughed, “but it doesn’t matter. Come on, Mil.”

The cat ran ahead of him chirruping anxiously, as if he might forget the way to the food if she didn’t guide him.

“You’ve been here for two weeks, I can’t believe I’ve been so rude,” Armitage said. “You must thin-”

He called back from the kitchen, “All I think is you’re a new parent who hadn’t slept since Halloween, I know what babies are like. Besides, it’s not like I can go anywhere else.”

Outside the window the world was a sea of white. Dopheld could already see his tracks to the chicken coop filling in again with fresh snow. The cockerel was still standing on top of the structure as if it was judging him for being a wuss. Or maybe it was frozen there.

He’d barely managed to run out, throw down food for the animals, grab some frozen eggs, and run back in. He hadn’t packed very well for the weather. Of course he’d known that snow was a risk at this time of year, but he hadn’t planned to be out in it twice a day. 

“You’re sure you won’t be in trouble with the university?” Armitage asked when he finally came back through with his own breakfast. “There won’t be search parties out looking for you or anything?”

Dopheld shrugged. “I probably won’t know for certain until they get the mobile phone masts back up and running, but I left them messages from the pub’s phone before that went down too, so they should know where I am. It’s not like I left anything in the lab that was going to grow in my absence and cause any trouble.”

Armitage laughed quietly as he lowered Kyla to his lap next to her sister and awkwardly pulled his shirt back on. The first slice of toast went into his mouth whole. 

“That’d be a good horror movie,” he said once he’d swallowed. “scientist goes away for the holidays, gets snowed in, and comes back three months later to find the world seemingly destroyed by his own research.”

“We have very different ideas of what makes a ‘good’ movie.” Dopheld glanced as the cabinet next to the TV. There might not be any satellite signal at the moment, but there were plenty of DVDs. “I wonder if they’ve got Pride & Prejudice in there…”

“Noooo…” Armitage protested weakly, but he didn’t get up. The babies were sleeping for once, and it couldn’t be that bad, surely. 

* * *

Kylo stomped down onto the station platform like the tarmac had personally offended him, tired and sore after twelve hours crammed into a too-small seat in a too-hot carriage.

How did England have such shitty trains? And why were cows even allowed to get that close to the railway in the first place if the train couldn’t even push them out of the way? 

The last month had been awful. Well, the last fourteen months had been terrible but the last thirty days had been especially awful. 

He’d woken up on New Year’s Day to a rotten hangover and what was apparently Armie’s number on a pad by the phone. According to the - surprisingly kind - concierge he’d called it twice only to get sent voicemail and then passed out on the bathroom floor while a doctor checked his hand. Kylo had given him a tip just for that, and for telling him where the number had come from- a mysterious phone call that turned out to have been from Phasma.

She’d told him to fuck off when he called her, even when he explained that he didn’t remember the night before. It had taken five calls before she told him what he’d said, and another six after that to get her to hear his apology. He still wasn’t sure if she’d accepted it.

Armie had never answered the phone at all. In fact the number never rang, it just went directly to voicemail like the handset wasn’t switched on. That had been upsetting but now that Kylo knew they’d come so close he just had to get to Armie as soon as he could. 

Which wasn’t very soon as it turned out.

At first the plan had been to get on the first flight to England, except he couldn’t afford the prices. So he’d found a flight he could afford that was a week out. He’d had work commitments anyway, and more money was always useful so in a way that had made sense. 

Except his manager had reacted to the news that he was flying to England like it was an invitation to pile on more work. More photo shoots, more commercials, London Fashion Week! As if Kylo had ever set foot on a runway before.

Ben didn’t want to do more work. He wanted his Omega and his life back.

Lawyers had gotten involved with frankly terrifying speed. They’d shown up at the hotel that admittedly they were paying for, and they’d threatened him with sanctions he absolutely couldn’t afford.

Somehow he was legally obligated to do whatever shoots he was ordered to do in London. 

He’d hoped that once he landed in the UK he’d actually manage to get hold of Armie on the phone and at least make some plans around the photography jobs, but he’d just gotten more voicemail. 

There wasn’t even a personalised message to let him know that it even  _ was _ Armie’s number. He could be leaving heartfelt messages on some random person’s phone for all he knew. 

Still he’d called it every night. And every morning. 

He hadn’t always left a message, but when he did he mostly asked for some sign that Armie was hearing them. He’d broken down once and begged whoever it was who had the phone to at least call him if it wasn’t Armie’s number so he could stop wasting his time. 

He never got a call back. 

But now, finally, he had three days free to go back to the university and look for Armie in person. 

Well, he’d had three days. He’d chosen a late night train for the cheaper tickets and ended up stuck on it through the night because of goddamn cows on the line. 

He was cursed.

That was the only explanation. 

He stopped on the bridge into the city, staring at the cathedral looming up in the predawn light.

Maybe he’d died. 

He had to grab hold of the stone parapet then, his heart stuttered so hard at the thought.

What if he  _ hadn’t _ recovered from the cancer. Wouldn’t hell be just like this? All the endless waiting, with the things he loved eternally out of reach? 

He sighed and put a hand over his face.

“And the award for most melodramatic reaction to anything ever goes to Kylo Ren,” he muttered to himself. He needed a coffee before his exhausted mind ran entirely away with him. 

* * *

There it was- Armie’s house. He’d never had a response when he wrote to this address but maybe the letter had gone astray. International mail could be like that sometimes.

The building looked exactly the same as it always had- same curtains, same minimalist garden. Worth a try then.

He strode up the path and hammered on the door. He could barely hear his own fist connecting with the wood over the sound of his own heartbeat.

For somewhere in the house a male voice shouted, "Kurva co je?"

Even though the voice sounded angry it was still good sign that someone was here. One of Armie’s housemates had been from somewhere in Europe, hadn’t he?

The man who wrenched open the door did not look like a student. He looked to be about sixty with a beard you could hide a ferret in. He was also very, very upset.

"Kdo si doprdele myslíš že seš?” The man snapped, looking Kylo over like he was finding a turd on his doorstep instead of a man. “Táhni do hajzlu ty nádivo!" 

“Uh….” Kylo didn’t know what language he was speaking. He’d learned basic phrases in a few language when he’d still been following Leia around various embassies, but that had been years ago. Plus no one ever spoke to kids the way this man was speaking to him. 

"Je zasranejch sedm ráno ty idiote!" The man continued, pointing at his wrist and then reaching up as if to close the door.

“is Armie here? Armitage Hux?” Kylo asked in desperation as he realised he was about to lose his chance to ask.

The man shook his head. "Ne, neznám žádnýho zasranýho Armie. Zmizni nebo se fakt naseru!" 

With that the door slammed and a bolt shot home with a bang.

“Fuck.”

“Are you looking for Armitage?” A voice asked. 

Kylo turned to find a large man standing at the garden gate. He looked like a workman in green overalls and hi-vis orange vest but he was peering at Kylo from behind a huge pair of aviator style glasses that looked more like a disguise that genuine eyewear. 

Still what did Kylo care about appearances when Armie’s name was ringing in his ears?

“Yes!” Kylo practically ran back down the path to him. “Do you know where he is?!”

The newcomer pursed his lips rather than answering the question. “Are you his Alpha?”

“Yes! Where is he?”

“Been gone a long time, I hope you’ve got a good excuse.” It was hard to tell with the glasses but his expression was somewhere between disapproving and uncomfortable.

Kylo’s gossamer thin patience snapped. He grabbed the front of this clown’s ill-fitting clothes, intending to drag him forward and … well he didn’t know what he’d planned to do next buthe never found out because the man didn’t move. At all. 

In fact he just grabbed Kylo’s hands and squeezed. His grip was like a vice.

“Ah, shit!” Kylo jumped back, cradling the hand he’d injured at the hotel against his chest. There’d only been a hairline fracture but it hurt enough to make his eyes water. “Come on!”

“You need to calm down. Take some deep breaths. That’s what my therapist always says.”

“Just tell me where he is!”

Again the man didn’t respond but he did at least reach for his phone.

“I don’t know his address, but my-” he gave a goofy smile that was oddly disconcerting on his face, “-fiance does, so just give me a minute.”

* * *

The skinny Omega lounging on the other side of the kitchen table like a cut-rate mafia boss was familiar by sight to Kylo, but apparently his own appearance had changed enough from his pre-cancer days that Thanisson didn’t recognise him as Ben.

His case wasn’t helped by the stack of fashion magazines open on the counter behind him. There was a lot of evidence that he was Kylo Ren.

“Look, I played D&D with Armie. Kylo Ren was my character name- I decided to use it as a stage name. I don’t have my passport on me right now, but… look Tiaan Jerjorrod in the Engineering Department can vouch for me.” Kylo said slowly. The huge blond who’d walked him over to this oddly floral apartment hadn’t seemed to understand. 

“It’s not necessarily that I don’t believe you,” Thanisson said with his phone held against his ear. “It’s a… security… no… privacy thing.” He sighed. “Armie call me back as soon as you get this.” 

He shook his head and started dialing another number. 

“You could be anybody,” he continued, “and even if you  _ are _ who you say you are, I’m not going to give out a friend’s private information. I don’t know if he wants to see you. I don’t know if he’s even home at the moment, with the snow up- where he is, he might be staying somewhere else. Even if I felt safe giving you his address it could be useless. Or dangerous... Dopheld! Call me back! It’s urgent!”

He sighed again and dropped his phone onto the table. “Matt, babe, get me the laptop?” 

“Here,” Matt passed it over then turned to Kylo. “Look at it this way. Would you give your Omega’s contact details out to any Alpha that asked for them? I’m only a Beta, I don’t have your instincts but, wouldn’t you want to protect him?”

“I’m not  _ any _ Alpha! I’m his Alpha!”

“Yep, and you’ve been gone for about fourteen months now so you’re clearly the World’s Best Alpha.” Thanisson rolled his eyes as he typed something into the laptop. “Gold fucking star. A plus.”

Kylo stood from his chair but instantly Matt had a hand on his chest. “Not an Alpha. Would still fight one though.”

“Okay,” Thanisson said with his hands pulling at his hair in frustration. “According to Twitter there’s still major phone outages up there, and the snow looks like its still really bad. I know Armie’s phone was off at Christmas because I tried to call him. Whether ‘Pheld is still there or just in a lecture I don’t know. I’ve emailed both of them, I’ll text them, and I’ll write to them- assuming the post even… Leave me your details-”

“Tell me where he is!!”

“NO!” This time it was Thanisson who stood up. “I won’t risk th-” He stopped, literally holding his tongue between his teeth for a moment. For some reason he looked like he was going to cry. “If you really fucking love him you’ll wait and you can damn well blame me for the delay if Armie gets angry about it. But I will not betray his trust like that.”

“For fucks sake.”

Maybe he really was in hell.

* * *

Armitage had his upper half firmly wedged in the main rabbit hutch when his phone made the strangest noise he’d ever heard. He was so unused to it making any sound at all that he jumped and hit his head on the roof above him.

“What the fuck?!” 

Why the hell did his phone sound like it was trying to play all his ringtones at once?

He wriggled out and awkwardly pulled a rubber glove off so he could retrieve this still beeping phone from his pocket. He stared as the screen filled with a quickly scrolling series of notifications.

“Dopheld!!” He shouted back towards the house. “I think they fixed the mobile network!” About bloody time too, it had been… fuck, nearly two months. 

The battery on his phone seemed to be draining quite quickly as the notifications piled up, moving across the screen too fast for him to read. 

* * *

_ Welcome to your voicemail inbox. You have…  _ **_twenty seven_ ** _ … new messages. To listen to your messages- press one. To chan-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ First new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:05am.  _

  * ARMIE!! ARMIE BABY IT’S ME!! PICK UP THE PHONE!!! ARMIE IT’S ME, BEN!!! PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE BABY I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! PLEASE ARMie… please pick up the phone…



_ To save this message press one… to delete this message press two… to call this number  _ **_UNAVAILABLE_ ** _ … to listen to this messa-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Second new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:12am. _

  * Armie? It’s me, it’s Ben, please baby pick up the phone. I… please… Armie… I love you... pl-



_ To save th-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Third new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:05pm. _

  * Hi, Armie, it’s uh it’s me, it’s Ben. Not dead. Like I promised. First, I know I called this number last night, but I was kinda drunk so I hope I didn’t leave anything to embarrassing on your answerphone. Man, I hope this actually is your number… Look, please, call me back. I know it’s been a year and I am so so sorry, you won’t believe the bullshit I went through. It’s… it’s a long story. I never meant to be away so long but wait no-



_ To save th-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Fourth new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:06pm. _

  * Okay, so your answerphone doesn’t record for long huh? I LOVE YOU. Okay, I’m just gonna keep saying that because I need you to know it, okay? I love you, I miss you, I’m gonna come find you and I hope like hell that you waited for me, because I will fight an Alpha for you but I don’t really want to because I’d probably kill them at this point and then I’d end up in prison and I’d have to be away from you again an-



_ To save-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Fifth new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:07pm. _

  * For fucks sake. No. shit.



_ To sa-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Sixth new message. Recorded on Friday 1st January 2010 at 7:08pm. _

  * Hi. So. I’m really sorry about that message that was just swears, and the one before where I kinda threatened to kill a hypothetical person for you, if anyone at the FBI is listening that was a joke, haha, sorry about that. Armitage Hux, I love you more than words can say. And I’m going to get on the first flight back to England. So call me. Don’t make me go on a quest. Because I will.



_ To s-  _ **_one_ ** _. _

_ Seventh new message. Recorded on Saturday 2st January 2010 at 00:55am. _

  * Hi Armie, I went to LAX but there aren’t any flights with available seats I can afford, because, well, it’s still technically the holidays or some shit like that, so I guess, uh, I have some work things I should do and I got the last budget seat on a flight via Schiphol next Sunday, so… shit, that makes me sound so cheap, I don’t… fuck, Armie I’m trying not to cry down the phone at you… please believe me...



* * *

It was a good thing he was already kneeling down. There were so many messages, and Ben sounded so heart broken in all of them. There were more he should listen to but he couldn’t bear to wait.

He tried once more to call the number back but again the automated voice said only “ **_UNAVAILABLE_ ** ”.

Behind him the kitchen door opened with a crash.

“Armitage!!” Dopheld was dressed only in his pyjama pants but he ran across the muddy lawn regardless. He waved his own phone as he ran. “The signal’s back, Thanisson says…”

“Give me the phone, I’ll pay you b-” Armitage caught the handset as it was all but thrown at him.

“Take it! Call him!! Call him now!! Do you have the number? I have the numb-”

Armitage nearly laughed at his excitement. It was nearly enough to calm his own nerves.

“Dopheld?” He said. “Deep breath. I have the number, please go back inside… by the mud room door please, I don’t even want think about what you’ve stepped in.”

His friend looked down and finally became aware of his lack of shoes for the first time. 

“Oh… ew.”

Armitage scrambled up off the floor himself as Dopheld picked his way more carefully back to the house. He knew he was stalling, but…

There were such big conversations to come. It felt wrong to be saying such monumental things leaning against a damn rabbit hutch but in a way that was the least of his worries. He had no idea how to say what needed to be said. 

There was no perfect script for this. 

Ben may never forgive him. But at least he’d know.

He dialled the number.

* * *

The shoot was an easy one as far as Kylo’s involvement went- he was basically a self-propelling set piece rather than an active participant. Kylo wasn’t even sure who the shoot was for, but the money was good.

He’d been dressed in nothing but a pair of very tight leather jeans and told to sit still while pretty models of various genders crawled around him. They were draped in silks and jewels that somehow gave the impression of being completely naked. 

Perhaps other men would have been impressed but Kylo just felt cold and angry. 

At least the photographer seemed to enjoy his glowering. 

In fact his face was apparently the only thing in the room that she approved of. Nothing else was even close to being good enough for Amilyn and it was starting to get exhausting, not least because she knew his mother but hadn’t recognised him yet.

A low note rang through the room while one of the assistants tried to rearrange the folds of a model’s dress by his feet.

“What the fuck is that?”

Choral voices joined the first sound, and then a brass section- 

“Sorry, that’s the main theme from Krull,” Kylo muttered as he heading for his pile of clothes.

“No phones on set,” the photographer snapped at him.

“Yeah, yeah, let me-” Kylo had his finger on the power button. He didn’t recognise the number. He knew he should let it go to voicemail but he just…

He tapped the green answer button.

A voice he once knew said, “Hello?”

“Armie?!” He almost dropped the phone in surprise, it had been so fucking long. “Holy shit, is that you?”

“Ben!!” It was hard to tell through the crackling on the line but Armie definitely sounded like he was crying. “Where the fuck have you been?!”

Just hearing his voice Ben felt hot and cold all at once, or like he was floating and everything was made of pure brilliant light.

“Shit,” He sniffed, scrubbing at his face in a futile effort to stop his own tears. “I’ve got so much to tell you, baby!”

Armie gave a weird strangled laugh at that but before Ben could say anything else Amilyn was behind him.

“No. Phones.” 

She made a grab for it but he shouldered her away- any affection she might have had for grumpiness clearly didn’t extend that far.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!?”

“Ben? Are you okay?” Armie asked.

“Shut up! Give me two fucking minutes!!” Kylo snapped, hunching in around the phone like Gollum protecting the precious. “Not you, Armie, I’m so sorry, I’m at work. Where are you?”

“Scotland. The Highlands. Near a vil-” the call broke up for a moment, “-cloich.”

“I didn’t get that, try again.”

“Near Glencoe.”

“Glencoe.” Ben repeated, hoping the word would stick in his memory. “Okay. Glencoe. I can remember that. I’m in London, I can get to you.”

“Call me later!” Armie cut in tearfully. “Please, Ben, just call me, okay, when you’re free to talk. I can’t call you back on my phone but I can answer, please.”

“Okay, I promise, I love you.”

“I love you too.” It was almost a sob. 

He didn’t want to end the call, but the photographer was still hovering over him, vibrating with rage. “We’ll speak soon.”

“If you  _ ever _ disrespect me like that again…” She started as soon as he lowered the phone.

“Don’t.” He wasn’t in the mood. 

He stood and turned back towards the set but she was still inches away from him.

“I’ll have you removed…”

“GOOD!”

“I’m serious!”

Kylo didn’t even realise he’d grabbed the chair until it sailing through the air towards the lighting rigs. “I don’t fucking care!!”

“Out.”

He grabbed his clothes and bag without a word. Leaving was what he’d wanted after all. The fallout was going to be awful, but for now not being in this room any more was a better option. 

The frigid February air and the cold metal of the fire escape reminded him he was still wearing nothing but the designer leather pants. 

One of Amilyn’s assistants had already locked the door. He shrugged to himself as he dropped his boots so he could step into them. Guess they were his pants now.

His manager was going to kill him. 

He didn’t care. He’d spoken to Armie.

“Glencoe,” he murmured to himself, determined to remember it, as he headed towards the road. There was a taxi rank not far up. He should probably walk though. Save the money.

A pedestrian looked at him strangely, and then another. 

He was just drawing level with the taxi rank when he caught sight of his reflection in a tinted car window. 

“Dammit,” He sighed, searching in his bag for tissues or wet wipes to remove the huge amount of very lustrous make up smeared across his face. Nope, he had nothing. 

It was London but he couldn’t walk back to the hotel looking like that. 

He climbed into the first taxi in the line. 

The driver was a wide-eyed young man with a manbun and what looked like an aeronautics textbook open across the steering wheel.

“Sorry, school work,” He said as he threw the book onto the passenger seat and started pressing buttons on the fare display.

“Engineering?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, my Mate’s an engineer. Or he will be once he finishes his thesis.”

“It’s hard work, man,” the driver nodded, watching Ben in the rear view mirror. “You look like you miss him, he not around here?”

“Glencoe, wherever that is. Scotland I think.” Ben laughed. “How much to drive to Scotland?”

The driver’s grin was wide and instant. 

“For you- two grand, mate! Pay off some of my student loans for me!”

* * *

Armitage sat on the living room floor twirling a mobile he’d made from bits of fabric above the girls’ heads. They were wriggly cheerful babies, all chubby limbs and enthusiasm for everything. He wished their amusement at the shifting colours was enough to distract him from his dark mood.

Ben hadn’t called him back, again. 

He felt awful for being angry about that. Less than twelve hours had passed. He’d interrupted Ben at ‘work’, whatever that might be, and Ben had gotten into trouble over it. Maybe he was still there, working to make up for the interruption.

Or maybe he was on the Tube with no phone signal, or his battery was dead, or he’d decided he didn’t actually love Armitage after all. Maybe someone had told him what had happened and Ben decided to cut Armitage off too. Teach him a lesson perhaps.

He’d listened to the rest of the voicemails, one at a time with long pauses in between just in case Ben tried to call him while the line was tied up, but he still didn’t have a clear idea of what had happened. Ben talked vaguely about work commitments and things going wrong, but he never actually said where he’d been or why it had all taken so long. 

Maybe he’d simply forgotten him.

Benja chose that moment to blow a raspberry, inspiring her sister to a peal of what might have been giggles. 

He was constantly surprised that at fifteen weeks they had so much personality. Dopheld said it was a little unusual, but maybe they were benefiting from so much undivided attention.

Personally Armitage suspected that they were already trying to outdo one another, and that it would only get worse from here.

Dopheld crossed the room behind him, peering through the curtains from one angle and then another.

“I think there’s someone by the gate,” he said after a while. 

“Are you sure it’s not just an owl this time?” Armitage asked without getting up. There were no street lights here and the sun had set hours ago. The eyes played tricks sometimes.

“Pretty sure.”

Armitage glanced at the clock. It was after 9pm. He really should be getting the twins to bed.

He watched Dopheld head into the hallway. Standing up didn’t seem like a tempting proposition right now.

“Did Orson collect those rabbits yet?” He asked. “He sometimes picks them up on the way to the pub.”

Just as Dopheld disappeared from his line of sight someone knocked on the door, a little meekly, like they knew it was late and they didn’t want to wake anyone.

“Hello?” From Dopheld’s tone of voice it wasn’t anyone he knew.

“Uh hi, sorry, I know it’s late but this is the eighth house I’ve tried- do you know William Renley? The guys at the pub said he lived somewhere near-“

Armitage threw himself towards the hallway, staggering on knees so numb from time spent on the floor that he had to grab the doorframe to stay upright. 

“BEN?!”

Ben Solo was standing on his doorstep.

He barely register the movements as Dopheld pulled the chain free and discreetly shifted his foot from where it had been jammed under the door to keep it from opening. 

All he could see was Ben shouldering his way happily through.

And what shoulders.

“Holy shit, you look like Kylo,” Armitage sighed in undisguised wonder at the newly muscular frame in front of him. From the long curls framing his face to the buckle-heavy boots he was every inch the human form of his paladin.

“And you’re my Techie!” 

With that Armitage was swept up into a bear hug that felt like it was squeezing the life out of him even as it healed every crack in his soul. He could feel Ben kissing his hair over and over, and breathing deeply- just at the borderline of outright sniffing him. Despite the obvious joy Armitage still brought his hand up into that same soft calming gesture against the back of Ben’s neck. Having his warmth under his fingers once more was the most-

Behind him Kyla cooed happily and Benja replied with the lilting set of vowel sounds that usually accompanied vigorous wriggling.

Ben froze in his arms. So completely that he’d even stopped breathing.

“Ben…”

The hug ended abruptly. Huge hands, stronger than Armitage had ever known, settled on his biceps and carefully moved him aside.

By the door Armitage could see Dopheld’s worried face- he knew better than to get in the way of an Alpha/Omega reunion like this, but the slow way Ben stepped into the room… Armitage knew him and even his heart was in his throat.

Three long slow steps brought him within touching distance of the nest of blankets.

There was silence as Ben just stood there for far too long, just staring down, then all at once he folded at the knees.

“Armie?” He whispered, and he turned to look at him with a smile more radiant than anything Armitage had ever imagined. “Are these… did you… Armie are these my…”

All Armitage could do was nod, because he suddenly couldn’t breathe around the tears pouring down his face and fourteen months of grief welling up from where it had been stamped down beneath his heart.

Ben turned back to twins, fingers visibly trembling  as his laid a hand on each chest. For a moment they stilled, uncertain at this new presence. Then Benja grabbed a finger and pulled it towards her mouth while Kyla grappled with Ben’s thumb.

“Oh.” It was possibly the smallest noise Armitage had ever heard. But it was also the most perfect.

He went to step forward, planning on explaining and apologising and begging forgiveness, when he heard Dopheld say from the front door, “I’m sorry, you have an unpaid taxi bill for  _ how _ much?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I can finally share the [inspiration](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MviFdVHltEM)...


	10. Chapter 10

The house was quiet. 

Every time Armitage had imagined this day, he’d certainly never pictured Ben writing IOUs for an exhausted looking taxi driver. As strange as it was the interruption had certainly been in keeping with the rest of their relationship. 

Fortunately the man had finally left to search for somewhere to stay until he could collect payment in the morning, and while Ben had been dealing with all that Dopheld had taken the twins up to bed before vanishing himself.

Now it was just Armitage and Ben, sitting awkwardly on the kitchen table. 

Sitting in a chair had felt wrong somehow. Like it was an invitation for Ben to put a physical barrier between them. However choosing  _ not _ to sit on any of the six perfectly good chairs seemed childish- he was a parent now, why was he doing this? 

Then Ben shifted his hand so his fingertips brushed Armitage’s knee and he knew it was the right choice.

“So…”

“So…” Ben repeated, then swallowed nervously. The sound seemed impossibly loud in the silence. “So… I got you pregnant then… When did you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Armitage took a deep breath, sure he’d start to speak, but all he could do was look at his hands until his chest ached too much to hold it in any more. 

“I… some people would say it was denial but, I genuinely didn’t realise,” He said at last. “Do you remember when I was supposed to come to London to see you?  _ You _ would have seen it then. You would have told me. I lost so much weight worrying about you and… I guess putting it back on, even around my middle, seemed like a good thing… shit, Ben, I lost so much the doctor was worried about the babies. But, yeah, I didn’t realise until my doctoral supervisor lost her fucking mind at me.”

Armitage sighed, and then remembered something. “Wait, here…” 

His hands were shaking as he pulled out his phone but Ben waited patiently while he found the right folder in the picture gallery.

“That’s me at nineteen weeks, but I was only the size of someone at fourteen,” he said, passing over the handset and feeling a little pleased that Ben was shaking just as badly as him. “If you swipe through there are scans of the babies and-”

“Armie, you… holy fuck, you’ve never been more gorgeous,” Ben murmured, as he looked through the pictures. “Oh my god, look at you. I can’t believe I did that.”

Armitage tried to hide his smile. “I thought you weren’t a typical Alpha.”

“I didn’t think I was but here I am- rock hard for this absolute hottie.”

“Fucking hell, Ben!!” The outrage was only semi-genuine. The unexpected praise made him feel warm all over even if it was inappropriate for such a serious conversation. 

At least Ben had the decency to blush. 

“Sorry, you’ll have to take this back,” Ben said, holding out the phone, “if I’m going to concentrate. I really didn’t know I was into that.”

The silence returned a little more awkward than before. Armitage could see them both reflected in the kitchen window over the darkness outside- Ben was staring off to the side into the shadows by the Aga. Every few seconds his lips moved like he was trying to work something out.

Suddenly he turned to look at Armitage.

“You knew during that last call, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah.” He could barely find the strength to speak. “I thought you were going to die, I didn’t… I was a fucking coward. Everything was going wrong- I was getting thrown out of university, I knew my father was going to do... I don’t know, something awful. I just… I couldn’t put all that stress on you.”

“A few hours later I was in a coma.” Ben said flatly. 

Armitage covered his mouth but it wasn’t enough to contain the sob that rose up with that thought. He’d come so fucking close. “I… Ben, I put the phone on my stomach because I thought it was the only chance they’d ever get to hear you, and then I never heard anything else from you. You were almost dead, and I kept them from you, and and how can you ever for-”

Warm strong arms were around him again in an instant. Warm and alive and so, so perfect. Armitage gave up on trying to hold it all in and just wailed into Ben’s chest.

They sat like that for a long time, until Ben’s shirt was soaked and Armitage had almost managed to stop sobbing. 

So much grief that could have been so much worse.

“You did the right thing,” Ben said at last. “I nearly drowned on my own blood just laughing at a joke you made, I wouldn’t… I don’t know that I could have survived that. Not that I would  _ ever _ have thought it was a bad thing, just... any emotion could have been too much.”

“They always say Alphas get linked to their Omegas, it could have help…”

“Armie, my uncle nearly lost his mind when his Mate died- he gave his baby away. I would never have wanted that for you.”

“I tried to reach your uncle before father cut my phone off completely, but I guess…” Armitage shrugged and Ben loosened his grip a little, apparently realising how tightly he was hugging him. Instead of sitting up, Armitage slipped his arms around Ben’s waist to stay close. 

“Luke accidentally deleted your message without reading it. I uh, didn’t react very well to that. Phasma just fucking forgot she had your number at all,” Ben growled at the back of his throat then sighed guiltily. “I dunno, is being shit at technology a side effect of bone marrow donation?”

“What?”

“I woke up in the middle of May and she didn’t tell me she had your number until New Year’s Eve. Stupid ancient phone. I guess I have to forgive her- I can’t exactly give her the bone marrow back.”

Armitage sat back, one hand on Ben’s chest. “You’re pissed off because your  _ bone marrow donor  _ lost a  _ phone number? _ ”

“ _ YOUR _ PHONE NUMBER!”

“Fucking hell, Ben!” Apparently that was going to be the tagline for their whole damn relationship.

Ben sat there with his mouth open for awhile, then closed it again with a snap. He turned his face away.

“I… I think I lost my mind too… I didn’t know about them,” He waved his hand vague at Armitage’s stomach, “but what if my body, knew somehow? I’ve been so angry, for so fucking long. I mean, fuck, Armie, my most famous photo is me throwing an Omega off my lap. This morning I threw a chair. I… fuck. Oh  _ fuck _ .” He dragged his hands through his hair in frustration at himself.

“What are you talking about?” Armitage asked with a frown. “Famous photo?”

“I uh… life got weird when I woke up. I’m a fucking fashion model now! Me!” He laughed. “And I just went with it so I could get money to get back to you.”

“I don’t believe you.” It sounded ludicrous. 

“Here!” Now it was Ben’s turn to pull out his phone and share a gallery.

“Wow,” Armitage couldn’t help licking his lips despite a rising sense of something like irritation. “That’s what you look like now under all that leather? Wow.” 

He swiped on to find a picture of some scantily clad Omega with his face inches from Ben’s crotch. The uncomfortable feeling turned hotter and nastier.

“None of those people are touching me,” Ben said quickly when Armitage reached an especially sexy group shot. “I had it put in my contract, they’re always a few millimetres away. I kinda… got a reputation for lashing out. It felt like betraying you.”

“Bloody hell, Ben, you go off on a glamourous life and I end up exiled to the wilds of Scotland.”

He wanted to feel happy for Ben, but bile was rising up in his throat at picture after picture of Ben half naked and surrounded people who weren’t Armitage.

Ben tried to put a reassuring hand on his knee. “It wasn’t like that.”

“You see that fireplace?” Armitage said, pointing at the unlit grate a few feet away. “Your babies were born right there. I fucking delivered them, on my own, right there on the tiles. And you were worried about betraying me because you had your shirt off around some hot Omegas?!”

Ben bristled at that. “My parents wouldn’t help me find you! I had no skills and no support, so I took the first well paid job I could get, and I hated every second of it. All I wanted was you! I am so sorry you had to do that, but I did everything I could to reach you! You’d vanished!”

They stared at one another. 

Finally Armitage sagged.

“I don’t like looking at that,” he said, handing over the phone. “It’s… you’re supposed to be mine, but you’re not.”

“I think I am,” Ben said quietly. He stood and stepped deliberately into the space between Armitage’s knees, his hands sliding easily around the Omega’s hips. “Don’t you see? I  _ am  _ yours, and you’re mine. That’s why I got angry at being touched by anyone who wasn’t you. That’s why you’re practically spitting with jealousy at a few photos.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“You are though!” 

Armitage reached up, intending to push Ben away but the Alpha was leaning in and somehow the gesture turned into stroking his hair. He shivered when Ben’s nose nudged his neck. 

“My Mate was carrying my children thousands of miles away and I couldn’t get to him. Anyone would have gone mad with that…” Ben murmured against his skin.

“I didn’t go mad,” Armitage sighed back. He’d be lying if he said the smell of Ben’s hair wasn’t making him feel a little drunk.

“Yeah, well, you know me- wisdom is a dump stat.”

“For fucks sake…”

“I love you.”

Ben turned his head and kissed him before he could reply. 

The kiss felt like coming alive again. Like he’d been turned to stone and left out in the elements for a year only for ‘loves true kiss’ to finally bring him back to the living. 

Heart thundering in his chest Armitage let his hands shift down from Ben’s hair to his broad shoulders, trusting they could take his weight as he dragged himself closer. His legs wrapped themselves around Ben’s hips entirely of their own accord, until he was sure no part of him was actually on the table any more. 

He moaned into the kiss as Ben’s hands fumbled down to grab at his arse. He was so much more sensitive there now, the seam of his jeans making his toes curl even before Ben shifted to press the line of his cock against him.

“Oh fuck…” Either he had a hair trigger or Ben really hadn’t been joking about his reaction to the photos of his bump.

“Yeah, hopefully,” Ben chuckled, breaking the kiss to press his nose to Armitage’s neck again. This time he breathed deeply, not even pretending not to be scenting him any more. 

Armitage giggled, happily doing the same when suddenly the table shifted under them. It barely moved an inch but it still squeaked loudly across the tiles.

From the next room Millicent meowed her disapproval. 

“Not here,” Armitage murmured.

“No, we definitely can’t fuck in front of the cat,” Ben replied without making any move to let him go.

Armitage nipped Ben’s earlobe. “There are two fifteen week old babies upstairs and if we wake them up, Mate or not, I will kill you. Is that clear?” 

Ben made an exaggerated gulping noise but he stepped back with Armitage still held easily against his chest.

“Okay. So where?”

“As cute as carrying me up the stairs might be, I’d rather you not fall in the dark,” he said, trying to wriggle down but only succeeding in grinding against Ben’s length. “Ooooh. Come on, let me down.” He said unconvincingly.

Ben didn’t put him down, instead he rolled his hips.

“I bet I could fuck you right here.”

“Oh god,” Armitage groaned as Ben licked at his neck. 

“You’re so light, I’d hardly notice…”

“Mmmm… you couldn’t get my jeans off without putting me down though.”

“I could rip them.”

Armitage kissed him, but deliberately lowered his legs all the same. “Please don’t. Come on.”

* * *

They got as far as the entrance hall before Ben had Armie pinned against the stair post. He just couldn’t lose an opportunity to kiss him senseless.

This time he’d managed to wriggle his hands down the back of his jeans. Armie had lost so much weight he could probably push them down without unbuttoning them. Given the wetness he could feel against his fingertips it was a very tempting possibility.

“Do you remember what I promised?” Ben said softly as his nose found its way back to the sweet smelling spot below Armie’s ear. “What I said I’d do to you?”

“You said you were going to bite me as soon as you saw me,” Armie replied, arching his neck and hooking a leg around Ben’s knee.

“Wanna make you mine,” He sighed. “Wanna knot you and fill you and know that no one else is ever going to have you.”

“Mmm… wait…”Armie stilled. His enthusiasm seemed to fade. “Ben… do you have anything?”

“What?” Ben blinked at him, utterly confused.

He whined a little as Armie pushed him back, but he let him go, his fingers drifting gently around from his arse to rest on his belly instead. The newly soft flesh there fascinated him, and he found himself rubbing circles with his thumbs as Armie blushed in the dark.

“Condoms or something? I… I’m not on suppressants any more, not that they worked, and… since I’m feeding the twins I haven’t had a heat yet but… I could still be fertile and…” Armie bit his lip with a look that was worryingly like guilt.

“You don’t want to risk another baby?” Ben asked carefully. If was a reasonable position for Armie to take, even if it disappointed some archaic parts of his Alpha nature.

“I’m not saying  _ never _ , it’s just, there’d barely be a year between them, the twins would only just be walking, I don’t know how I’d cope…”

“Hey,” Ben kissed Armie’s forehead and urged him to look up with a finger under chin. “I don’t want to get you pregnant again… okay no, that’s a lie, I want to see you round and full with my babies more than I want to breath right now, but I don’t want to do it until  _ you’re _ ready. If you want to wait then we can wait. But you should know, with all the chemo I- I don’t know if I  _ can _ give you more. The twins might be all we get.”

Armie leaned up to kiss him, lips wet with tears he didn’t acknowledge. 

“I have you back, that’s all I need,” he said, punctuating the words with featherlight kisses. 

“Okay,” Ben smiled, then said regretfully, “but I don’t have any condoms or anything. Maybe I can get some tomorrow. Soon at least. Can I… can I still sleep next to you tonight? I don’t want to wake up alone ever again.”

“Sure. But we can still… we can still do other things.” Armie said in a way that aimed for coy but came out desperate. “You can still claim me now.”

Ben ran the hand that was still resting on Armie’s middle over the soft curve of his belly and down to cup his erection for a second before his fingers trailed up again. 

“I want you, but, Armie, I’ve been dreaming of making you mine for over a year now. I want it to be perfect. I’d rather wait a day or two and get it right than rush it and not get the full experience. Okay?” He grinned. “I’m still gonna blow your mind though.”

Armie laughed and then choked as Ben dropped to his knees. 

He just couldn’t wait any more. Armie smelled amazing. He had to get his mouth on him- he couldn’t have what he really wanted but there was so much more he’d been dreaming of doing. 

For a moment he thought Armie would try to stop him as he tugged his jeans down around his knees, but after a barely noticeable hesitation he grabbed the banister behind him. Their eyes met in the pale moonlight filtering through the windows above. Despite the dim illumination Ben could see that Armie’s face was already so beautifully flushed, even before Ben ran his tongue around the head of his cock. 

Armie wasn’t as small as most, but he still barely reached the back of Ben’s tongue as he sucked him in until his nose was pressed into the nest of ginger hair.

This had always been a fantasy of his- a hot little Omega cock filling his mouth like an ideal treat. The fact that it was Armie made this one of the top five moments of his life. 

Ben breathed deeply for a moment, working his tongue in long wriggling patterns that had Armie panting almost instantly. He was so hard, and so hot, and all for him, it was divine.

He kept one hand on his belly, fingers kneading fitfully into the stretched flesh, while his other hand slipped up between Armie’s legs. 

As his fingers eased his cheeks apart the scent of his Mate’s slick hit him like a dose of some mind altering drug. His heart was racing and yet he was floating all at once. He could feel his own heartbeat thundering in his cock. His knot ached to expand. But Ben refused to touch himself. Right now he was going to focus on Armie’s pleasure, not his own. 

Two fingers sank in easily, slick instantly running down his wrist while Armie writhed. 

He let his thumb brush along his perineum and found a crinkled line of flesh he’d never noticed before. The slightest touch there had Armie gasping desperately, so Ben repeated the gesture as he opened his mouth wide, drawing Armie’s cute little balls into his mouth as well.

Suddenly Armie’s hands were in his hair, holding him in place as his gaze became frantic.

Ben sucked determinedly, fingers thrusting and thumb stroking in time with the wriggling of his tongue. His Mate came moaning his name and he almost came with him. It took all his self control just to keep his eyes open so he could watch Armie buck and flush while his mouth filled with the hot salt taste of cum. The only other time he’d seen anything so beautiful was when he’d had Armie tied with his knot.  

Determined to make that beautiful fucked out look last as long as possible he kept on working his tongue until Armie was entirely soft in his mouth and trembling at the over stimulation. 

“Oh gods, Ben… fuck…” 

Ben sat back on his heels, fully aware that he was grinning like a cat as he licked first his lips, and then his slick coated fingers. 

The look Armie gave him then could have started a fire.

“Upstairs. Now.”

He followed eagerly, giggling a little at the fact Armie hadn’t bothered to pull his jeans up properly and was staggering up the steps with them pulled awkwardly up around his thighs. The waistband covered his cock at the front but only served to frame his buttocks at the back. Round and perfect and infinitely biteable. 

Ben watched those perfect little globes flex with every step, catching glimpses of the slick coating his thighs, and daydreamed of pushing Armie down to mount him then and there. He wouldn’t - that wasn’t what Armie wanted - but holy shit it would feel so good to do it. Armie was so wet and ready for him, he could easily knot him on the first thrust.

Growling at the back of his throat Ben squeezed at the base of his cock to ease the urgent need but it didn’t help. The leather of his pants was just too tight. 

Suddenly Armie stopped at the top of the stairs with a shaky laugh. 

There was a small silvery packet tapped to one of the bedroom doors. 

“What?” Ben asked, too far away to see clearly.

Armie tore the packet down and dragged Ben through the door before he showed it to him. It was an Alpha condom, specially shaped to withstand a knot and the huge amount of cum that would follow. 

Searing heat rushed through Ben until he had to squeeze his thighs together against his arousal. 

He could have Armie tonight, he could have everything he wanted. 

When Armie pushed him back against the door he didn’t resist, only watching through a haze as Armie put the packet on the bedside table beside a box of tissues and what looked like a bottle of lube. Someone had thought of everything.

That thought sobered him up a little. Maybe there was more they should talk about before they did this.

* * *

Dopheld hadn’t just left them a strategically placed condom- he’d spruced up the bedroom too. Armitage had long since stripped this room of all its soft furnishings, but Dopheld had found enough blankets to actually make the bed properly. He’d even added more pillows than the usual complement.

“Huh,” Armitage said half to himself as he drew the curtains. “Good of him to know I wouldn’t take you upstairs…”

“What’s upstairs?” Ben asked suspiciously. 

“My nest. Tonight isn’t the time to introduce you to that space though, it’s… it’s not for this.”

Ben craned his head around as if he could see through the floor. “Are the twins up there?”

“No, they’ll be in the nursery next to Dopheld’s room. They would be normally though.”

“Should I be worried about Dopheld?” Ben asked eying the bedside table. “There aren’t cameras in here or something? He’s not going to fight me for you?”

His voice was flat enough that the question unsettled Armitage.

“Now, now, Alpha, he’s just a friend, and an Omega. He’s not my type.” He said before adding thoughtfully, “and I’m pretty sure he’s asexual, so I don’t know why he had a spare condom, but I’m very glad for it. I’m yours, okay?”

“I don’t doubt you.” Ben replied. He sounded relieved and a bit sheepish. “It’s just a bit strange.”

“You can say that again, but I think he just wants us to be safe.” He flashed Ben a nervous grin. “Now, about you making me yours…” 

Armitage finally let go of the waistband of his jeans, letting them fall so he could toe out of his socks at the same time. It should have been a profoundly unsexy display, but Ben was staring at him like he wanted to eat him whole. The shirt followed, and that was it. No ceremony. He was naked in front of his beloved for the first time in so long.

“There’s uh, been some changes,” he said, trembling hands nervously touching his chest and belly as he stepped closer.

He had to bite his lip to keep his composure when Ben traced the path of a stretch mark on his belly with one thick fingertip. The babies had been a tremendous strain on his skin, leaving scars that he was sure he’d carry forever, but Ben followed this one like it was the route of a river that might lead him back to salvation. 

Ben’s other hand came up, hot and shaking, to cup his chest. Armitage hadn’t developed much more than a little swelling there, still oddly enough to keep the twins fed but not enough to really be noticeable. Or so he’d thought.

Ben swiped a thumb up and over his nipple, forcing a droplet of milk to well up and run slowly down to his palm.

Armitage felt hypnotised as Ben brought his hand up to his lips and licked it clean.

The noise Ben made was almost feral, a rolling mix of moan and growl that seemed to come from deep in his chest specifically to turn Armitage’s knees to jelly.

“Sooo do I get to meet Ben The Model in person?” He teased to hide just how affected he was but his words trembled too much to be convincing.

“I work under the name Kylo Ren,” Ben murmured, dragging his t-shirt up and over his head so quickly that something ripped.

“Oh my god.”

Armitage just couldn’t wait for the shirt to be gone completely before his hands were roving with a mind of their own. It had been obvious though his clothes how big Ben had gotten, but seeing it in the flesh was something else. Ben shivered as Armitage ran his fingers over abs and up to a pillowy, nearly obscene chest.

“But Ben Solo is going to be the one to claim you,” Ben said trying to be dramatic but at the exact same moment Armitage giggled.

“Your tits are bigger than mine!”

They both mock glared at each other for a long second before laughter took over and Armitage was dragged into a fond bear hug. 

Despite the muscle Ben was just as warm and perfect as he’d always been. The memories of the one night they’d had together flew through his mind like comets, wondrous and beautiful. He needed that again.

“Mine.”

Ben hummed in agreement, another rumble that this time echoed through both their chests. 

The thick line of his cock was straining the leather where Armitage was pressed against him. He could feel the blood pulsing through it and his heartbeat trying to keep pace as his own cock slowly chubbed up.

“Need you.” He said thickly, leaning up for another kiss.

Ben took his face in both hands, kissing him deeply until neither of them could breathe.

“Help me.” It was just a gasp against Armitage’s lips but his hands flew to his buttons as if he’d been given an order. 

Boots clattered across the floor, leather trousers soon followed with a chorus of swear words, and then there was nothing but them. 

Skin on skin, hands grabbing and pulling and stroking until they were a tangled heap on the bed.

Ben lay between his thighs, cocks slotted together and gently rutting while three of Ben’s fingers worked him open, and his own fingers scrambled for purchase against the sensation. Too much, too little, maybe both but not quite right. His slick was flowing freely now and Ben’s thumb was doing mindblowing things to the edges of his half-sealed channel but he was still reaching for something else. Something more.

“Fuck me,” he said when he finally surfaced for air. “Need your knot. Please.”

Ben grinned at him, tipping his head as if he were really considering any other course of action. Just when Armitage felt sure he’d murder him out of pure need, Ben rolled them both.

Armitage wailed. The sudden change in angle stretched him and drove Ben deeper than anything had been in over a year. Fireworks were going off under his skin. If he hadn’t come in Ben’s mouth only a few minutes ago he’d have come right then.

And there was his Alpha, laying back against the pillows with a smug grin on his face as his fingers continued their terrible wonderful work. All he could do was keep riding them while Ben twisted around to grab the foil packet from the bedside table. 

“Can you do the honours? Wanna watch you.”

He could feel Ben’s cock bobbing against his balls, smearing precum over his skin with every touch. His body was screaming for the completion of that thick length in place of Ben’s fingers and the stretch of his knot that would finally make him whole again. In that instant the universe was laid out before him, crystal clear.

“No.”

Ben frowned. “Wh-“

Suddenly more sure than he’d ever been his life Armitage grabbed the condom and threw it across the room. Ben was still staring at him wild eyed when he reached back to manoeuvre the head of Ben’s cock against the back of his knuckles, pressing down against the stretch as if he could fit all of Ben’s being inside himself. 

“Armie? Are you sure?” Ben asked, fingers slipping free of their own accord as the flared head eased past his rim and every nerve seemed to light on fire. “Armie… oh god… please, I won’t be able to stop if you…”

Armitage bit his lip and pressed down, fucking himself on Ben’s full length, once, twice, three times, until he was fully seated, every millimetre inside him and stretching him wide. He sat there panting for a few long seconds, head thrown back as he savoured the sensation. 

Then he leaned forward with a smile to kiss Ben softly on the lips and as he did so he eased off Ben’s lap to kneel beside him instead. 

* * *

Ben almost sobbed when Armie climbed off his cock again.

His knot had almost popped on those first few perfect thrusts- it felt like he’d strained something keeping himself in check, but after their earlier conversation he had to be sure this was really what Armie wanted.

Beside him Armie settled himself comfortably onto his knees and then down onto his elbows too, punctuating every movement with a sweet kiss until he finally lowered his face to the mattress. 

Ben looked down the length of him, watching with his heart in his mouth as Armie angled his ass up and spread his legs. 

“Mate me, please,” He said with ragged urgency.

“You’re sure?”

“Come in me, bite me, make me yours!”

He didn’t need telling twice. 

Ben scrambled up behind him, a guiding hand already wrapped around his cock before he’d even gotten into position. He barely had time to admire Armie’s gaping slick-wet hole- he felt as if he’d die if he didn’t take him, so he was already easing in while he was still getting his trembling legs beneath him.

Armie moaned, arching his back and squeezing every muscle as Ben bottomed out. He’d dreamed so often of this perfect feeling but the memory was nothing compared to the reality. His soul was on fire, and the flames were taking over everything.

Nothing mattered but consuming Armie in that fire until they were one singular being.

On the first brutal thrust Armie almost screamed at the stretch and the slap of Ben’s balls against that newly sensitive patch of flesh. He needed to hear that sound again. He needed to hear it forever. 

The pace he set was fast and hard enough that Armie was soon scrambling against the sheets just to hold himself up. Slick poured between them to ease the way for a knot that hovered maddeningly on the edge of climax even as Armie writhed and flexed against it.

Ben couldn’t breath, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t keep himself up any more under the intensity of the rhythm. 

He flopped forward, arms coming up to hold Armie close and knead at his belly again. He wanted to fill that soft space and every thrust was focused on that single thought, his hips flexing in pure animalistic need. But through that haze he felt Armie’s cock against his hand. Precome was pouring from it to the sheets in wonderful thick strands. 

There was no conscious thought to the action. He caught hold of Armie’s cock and turned his face towards his straining neck. Scent filled his lungs. The world went white. 

* * *

Beneath the heavy weight of his Mate, Armitage bucked and writhed when Ben sank his teeth into his shoulder at the same moment he tugged his cock.

A single moment set every nerve ablaze.

He shuddered, clenching hard around Ben’s length as his orgasm tore through him. 

With the first pulse he felt Ben’s knot swell to flood his insides just as his skin gave way.  Through the overwhelming wave of hormones Armitage only vaguely felt the gland in his neck draining into Ben’s mouth. They were Mated. It barely mattered.

He wasn’t in his body any more. He was floating in warmth and safety and the purest love he couldn’t ever have imagined in a million years. Somewhere far away liquid was filling him and leaving him by turns, but it didn’t matter. His soul was unravelling and healing and making something new. 

He’d never be alone again. 

He let the feeling take him. If he was lucky he’d never have to leave it again.

* * *

Ben gasped, his mouth still filled with the thick musk of the liquid he’d just swallowed. His body didn’t feel like his own any more, an odd mixture of pins-and-needles and a higher greater than morphine.

He was trembling, but in his arms Armie was shaking like a leaf. Ripples of tiny muscle contractions flowed through his Omega, both milking his knot and somehow calming his pulse. However long he’d been out of it Ben knew his heart had been running fit to explode.

Now he felt like sleeping. 

“Armie?” He murmured, suddenly aware that his lips were sticky with something that tasted of metal. 

Leaning back he saw the livid bite mark in the junction between Armie’s neck and shoulder. Without thinking about it he gave the wound a soothing lick. The mix of blood and musk was fascinating enough to overwhelm him disgust at the gesture. He did it again and this time Armie moaned softly in his throat. 

“Armie? Are you awake?”

The only response was a whine. 

Clearly Armie was even more out of it than he was.

They should rest. 

Ben settled a hand on Armie’s belly, intending to roll him onto his side so they could comfortably wait out his knot, but his movements stalled at the firm round shape he found. He could almost imagine the each additional pulse of cum into his Mate’s womb. Would it take? Was there even anything alive in there? Ten months from now would there be another person in the world because of tonight?

Biting back a hiss he rolled them both to the side, but while Armie slept he knew his mind wouldn’t settle. So he kept his hand where it was and gave himself permission to dream.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of nontraditional Alpha behaviour at the start of this chapter, check the last few tags if you have strong opinions on such things.

Armitage woke to stickiness and a full body ache he couldn’t describe. He felt like he’d run a dozen marathons. He sat up, dislodging the hand on his belly.

Ben was back.

BEN WAS BACK.

He rolled over, wincing at the oversensitivity in his core, to stare at the man behind him. 

Ben Solo. Alive and healthy. Impossibly muscular. Incredibly beautiful. Armitage could look at him for hours. His face was flushed but peaceful and in the rosy dawn light from the window his lips were stained a deep red.

When he reached out to touch him a twinge in his shoulder reminded Armie what that stain meant. He twisted his head, desperate to see it but the bite mark was just out of sight. His fingers found it easily though. A hot raised ring of flesh guaranteed to scar into the perfect mark of ownership.

Snuffling into the sheets Ben rolled onto his front. His hips flexed suggestively as he ground his cock against the mattress. 

It was hard to believe that this stunning wall of muscle in front of him was  _ his _ now. 

Armitage reached out to touch the rhythmically clenching muscles of Ben’s arse, marvelling at the perfect roundness. The temptation of it. He wanted to bite it like a juicy peach. 

He laughed to himself at the absurdity of the idea, but as he glanced away he caught sight of the bottle on the bedside table. He’d never even thought about it last night. He didn’t need lube, he - as Ben had once put it - made his own.

He looked back at Ben, his hand still hovering a few inches from his skin.

Tongue poking from between his teeth like he was working on some complex equation he carefully let his fingers drift along his lower back and down over the crack between his cheeks.

Ben sighed and raised his hips. 

Armitage repeated the action. This time the slight change in position opened Ben up enough to touch his hole and then down over his perineum to his balls. 

“Mmmm….” Ben groaned as he wriggled back, thighs spread wide and the head of his cock just brushing the sheets. He was already hard. “Armie?”

He couldn’t help but smile at the glazed and drool smeared look on Ben’s face as he peered up at him through his hair. One cheek was still mashed against the pillow underneath him. It was adorable. 

“Was that you?” He mumbled, shifting his arse back until Armitage ran a fingertip around the furl of muscle again. His eyes slipped shut as he groaned. “Armie, please. Fuck me.”

“Really?” 

Ben had talked about fingering himself that first night they slept together, and he’d said he enjoyed it, but Alphas didn’t usually get fucked… 

“Please,” Ben said again. This time he awkwardly pushed the hair away from his face to expose his neck. 

Armitage felt his mouth start to water.

Omegas biting their Alphas was usually done as an affirmation of their bond on an important anniversary or unintentionally during the delivery of a child, not on a second night together... Except that they’d gone fourteen months between those nights. And they already had two children.

“You want me to claim you?”

A nod and another enthusiastic wiggle from Ben’s behind.

Armitage’s nervous hands barely managed to grab the lube. 

“Whoa, now I feel like an Omega!” Ben laughed as far too much got poured over his arse.

Armitage finally gave into temptation and bit one muscular cheek, partially for punishment but mostly to distract Ben while he eased in the first finger. 

Ben moaned into the pillow with every inch he worked into him, hips swaying and neglected cock painting the sheets with streaks of precome that glittered in the sunrise. 

As an Omega Armitage had never really done this himself, but he’d seen plenty of porn, and taking his cues from Ben’s reactions he soon had him trembling and begging for more than just three fingers. 

Which was when he almost lost his nerve. His cock wasn’t as big as his three fingers. He didn’t have a knot or the length he associated with satisfying sex. His hand twitched as he worried at his lip, fingers curling down, and suddenly Ben was gasping. 

Oh. He’d forgotten Alphas had that. He grinned to himself, running his fingers rhythmically over his sensitive prostate until Ben reached down and tugged at his balls to distract himself. 

“Please, Armie, just…”

Making him wait any longer would just be cruel.

The handful of cold lube was a shock as he slathered it over his cock but made a wonderful contrast as he sank into Ben’s tight heat. 

“Oh my… fuck,” He groaned, easing out and pushing back in. Sparks rushed up his spine. “I’m not gonna last.”

Determined to make it good - if fast - for his Mate, Armitage leaned forward to wrap an arm around Ben’s neck and let his other hand snake around to help the fist Ben was pumping across his own cock. 

Ben twisted enough to kiss him, all frantic tongues and wet gasps for a few thrusts before he dropped his head with a frustrated whine. 

“Please,” He panted, “gonna come, bite me, please, please.”

Armitage, his own release triggered by just the words, shifted awkwardly against the wave of pleasure and managed to bite down on Ben’s shoulder. 

It wasn’t enough, his teeth couldn’t break the skin, but then Ben was coming, his knot inflating in Armitage’s hand, his inner walls clenching, and that squeeze was enough to shock a little more strength from Armitage’s jaw. 

Ben wailing was music to his ears as pulses of musky sweet liquid flooded his mouth and cum splattered across the bed sheets. 

Ben was his and he was Ben’s. He was Ben’s and Ben was his.

That mantra ran in his head until Ben finally patted his hand to signal that he could let go of his knot. Armitage had softened ages ago, his cock slipping free and a dribble of cum following after, but Ben had kept on coming like an Alpha. 

The sheets were ruined. Thank god the owner of house had no problem with him burning them because there was no way he’d could clean up what looked like a pint of semen. 

Armitage giggled. He felt a little manic. He tipped sideways onto a dry patch of bedding and gave into the feeling for a minute. 

Beside him Ben stayed kneeling, though he was still grinning despite the heaving of his chest. 

“Good morning, my Omega,” he murmured.

For reasons he couldn’t explain Armitage laughed delightedly. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Armitage?” Dopheld said from the corridor. “If you’re not, uh, tied up right now, the girls need you.”

This time it was Ben that started laughing, which only made Armitage laugh more.

“Is that a yes or a no?” Dopheld asked when neither of them managed to articulate actual words. “The kitchen’s freezing, I’m not going downstairs unless I have to!”

Armitage sighed, time to get back to normal life. “Okay, gimme two minutes!” 

“You can have ten!” Dopheld said hurriedly. “Please take a shower! And please make Ben take one too, the smell of Alpha is coming under the door!”

“Hey, it didn’t go quite that far!!” Ben cried with mock dismay as Armitage literally fell off the bed because he was laughing too hard. 

“Coming under the door!! Oh my god! BEN!”

Very quietly from the other side of the door Dopheld said, “ew.”

* * *

Armie was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket, both twins held awkwardly to his chest when Ben finally came downstairs. The bite on his shoulder seemed to glow against his pale skin now that all the blushes of the night were over.

As sights went it was the most beautiful Ben had ever seen.

He immediately pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. 

“Oh come on, Ben, my hair isn’t even dry yet,” Armir grumbled, but he was still smiling. 

“They paid out my life insurance.”

“What?”

Ben blinked and tried to reset his brain.

“Sorry,” he said at last, “I was just thinking about it in the shower. They were so sure I was gonna die that they paid out my life insurance.”

Armie’s face fell. “Are you sure you’re in remission? I mean, that’s got to be unusual.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. It takes a long time to get that kind of confirmation. I heard my parents talking about it, before I went to Texas. Han said it happened sometimes and it would be worth the risk of accepting the insurers assessment.”

“How much was the payout?”

“That’s just it- I don’t know,” Ben sighed as he dropped onto the sofa next to him. “I never saw the money. It’s not in my accounts. I was so ill that I just forgot about it... I had to fucking take my clothes off for money to get back to you and there was a life insurance payment just… waiting somewhere. Shit. I hope it’s waiting somewhere. Han…”

“I was looking at your photos earlier,” Armitage said gently. “Dopheld found some online, though they took forever to download with the dial-up. They’re really good Ben. If you can stand to do the shoots now we’re Mated I think you should keep it up. There could be an amazing career in this for you.”

“But we’re living in the middle of nowhere. I can’t exactly commute from here, not when my agency is in the States.”

“But you could if you had your life insurance money. Ben, we’re Mated now. I can finish my PhD, hell, we can both finish our education if we want to, no one can stop us. But if we moved somewhere central, near an airport,” Armitage smiled at him and it was the happiest he’d ever seen him. “Ben, we could have everything.”

He smiled at his Omega, relishing the burn as the bite mark on his own neck shifted. 

“Armie, I already have everything.”

Beside him Armie ducked his head towards the twins with a trembling bottom lip. 

“Hey,” he muttered, “come on, you’re gonna make me cry, and I’ve got my handsful here!”

Ben did his best to wrap his arms around the three of them.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Ben said, kissing each in turn. “Hey, do you think you’re up to one more serious conversation right now?”

“Okay, but just one. A guy needs a break from the endless drama. You know, just for a couple of hours.”

“Fine, I’ll save the stuff about being The One True Heir to the English Throne for tomorrow,” Ben laughed. “I wanted to ask you about names. You said you named them Benja Armie and Kyla Tessa  _ Solo  _ but you’ve been living as  _ Renley _ ?”

“Yes but not legally, as such, I didn’t pay to change my name.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully and then slipped down off the sofa to kneel at Armie’s feet. He felt like his heart had stopped he was so anxious, but he had to ask this now.

“I’d like our family to all have the same name, so… do you want to become a Solo or do you and girls want to be Rens? Or Renleys?” It wasn’t the best proposal in the world, they were already as Mated as they could get, but it was important to him.

“Dammit, Ben,” Armie said through renewed tears. “I’ll happily be a Solo. I’ve been a Solo in my phone for months anyway. No need to change three names when one will do.”

Ben knelt up to gently kiss his cheeks. 

“Thank you. I love you. Now, can you let me know when these two are done eating? Because I’d like to borrow them to cause a little bit of chaos.”

The look Armie gave him was probably meant to be chastising, but he was smiling too much to be effective.

* * *

Phasma walked to the end of the corridor, saw that everything was just as it should be, pivoted on her heel, and stopped when her phone quietly chimed.

She fumbled awkwardly at her pocket- her fingers still unused the the huge touchscreen monstrosity her girlfriend had bought her- and hoped it wasn’t another set of nudes. Not that nudes weren’t great, but she wasn’t that good at locking her phone yet so her boss had accidentally seen rather more tits than he’d ever wanted to see.

There a text and one picture message.

**Bean Kylo Ren Solo:** Hey, sorry I flipped out at you, I guess I went a bit PAPA BEAR without realising it.

What the hell did that mean?

She unlocked her phone to open the picture message. 

Only the skills she’d learned in years of playing baseball saved her phone from smashing on the tiles of the hospital floor. 

* * *

Luke stared up at the ceiling from his futon and tried to work out why he was awake.

There were no sounds coming from the garden or the desert beyond. No planes in the sky. Nothing in the room seemed to have moved. 

Beside his head his phone buzzed again, flashing up a lock screen showing a picture of a little girl with her hair styled in three buns. 

That was his very favourite photograph. She was grinning and happily holding up a cactus. He’d brought her that as a gift after her adoptive parents said she loved plants but struggled to keep them alive. He’d grown it himself in the garden where Wedge’s ashes were scattered. Hopefully it would thrive with their daughter. 

He sighed against the sadness settling over him again and reached for his phone. Damn. His prosthetic was on the floor on the other side of the mattress, next to his reading glasses. 

Another sigh. 

The phone buzzed again.

Who the hell was texting him at 2:25am?

Finally he managed to snag the phone and unlock it. 

**Ben Solo:** Hi Luke

**Ben Solo:** Sorry to do this in a text but it’s probably too early in the AM to call you

**Ben Solo:** I have an idea of how you felt now

**Ben Solo:** about Rey

**Ben Solo:** You were right when you picked me up from university

**Ben Solo:** We weren’t careful enough

There was a picture message of Ben looking as healthy as he had in LA but much much happier. He had an arm around the shoulders of a thin man with long ginger hair and a layer of stubble. Each of them was holding a baby, one dark haired and the other strawberry blonde.

**Ben Solo:** This is Benja (Bean-yah) and Kyla. My daughters

**Ben Solo:** Armie waited for me

**Ben Solo:** I’m sorry I got so angry at you

**Ben Solo:** but do you see what Leia  & Han tried to stop me finding?

* * *

Leia groaned, and shoved Han in the shoulder. He didn’t move. In fact he snuggled closer, squeezing her waist until she was sure she’d pass out.

“Wake up!” She hissed. 

“Mrph.”

“Han, the phone is ringing!”

“So let it ring, Princess,” he mumbled, nuzzling his nose into the hair at the back of her neck. “It’s three in the morning, no one calls at three in the morning.”

“What if it’s Ben?” 

“Why’d he call at three in the morning?”

“What if he’s hurt?!”

Finally Han sighed in frustration and let Leia up. He always got like this whenever she caved in and agreed to try again. The clinginess was part of the reason they kept breaking up. Menopausal women need their space from time to time. That and all the stress of their family life. 

When Ben had sent them away they’d ended up in separate countries, unable to stop blaming each other - and Luke - for driving Ben away again. Even now, when they’d had little direct news about him other than Luke’s sighting in October, Leia still woke up every night in a panic that the cancer had come back. In the worst dreams he was already dead.

There was a missed call on her phone.

“It’s Ben!”

Han sat up to peer at the handset just as it started to ring again. 

Leia immediately answered and put it on speaker between them. 

“Ben?!”

“Hi grandma,” her son said.

“Are you drunk?”

“Nope, just a statement of fact.” 

The line was crackling, but not so unclear that she couldn’t hear the words- she just couldn’t understand them. 

“Hey, Leia, you know Luke?” Ben went on. “You know how his Alpha died and he had to go through his pregnancy alone so he gave up his baby to someone else?”

She frowned. This really wasn’t a conversation for the middle of the night. 

“We did what we could to support him, Ben, but it was his business to decide on, you can’t judge h-”

“I’m not judging him,” Ben said. 

The phone blipped to show a second call on the line. From Luke. Ben kept on talking.

“I’m just saying I get it now. How bad do you think an Omega would feel if his Alpha left the country because he was dying and that Alpha’s family-”

Someone in the background said, “Ben.” in a warning tone of voice.

“Okay, fine,” Ben sighed. “How do you think an Alpha would feel finding out he actually has two kids after his family kept him from his Omega for a year?!”

Leia nearly dropped the phone. The room felt like it was closing in around her. What was Ben saying?

“Ben!” The other voice said again. There was some clunking as the phone changed hands, then a clipped British accent said, “Ms Organa? My name is Armitage Hux- well it was. I understand you wanted your son to stay away from me because of my father?”

“That’s not exact-” Leia began.

“Brendol disowned me because I was unmated and pregnant with twins.” Armitage went on. His voice was shaking but it was impossible to tell if it was rage or grief. “I tried to get in touch with you when I lost contact with Ben. Because they’re his twins.”

Leia grabbed Han’s hand. On the other side of the room Han’s phone started ringing too but both of them ignored it.

“Armitage, I-” she stopped herself, uncertain what she was going to say. 

“Are they okay?” Han asked carefully. 

Armitage sniffed. “Of course they are.”

“Can you put us on speaker? Please?” Leia asked. 

The sound quality changed again. This time Leia could hear a baby cooing in the background. Oh god it was true. They were grandparents. 

“You’re on speaker,” Armitage confirmed. 

“We were only trying to look after you, Ben.” Leia said, already knowing it wouldn’t help. “You weren’t in remission yet! It wasn’t safe to travel.”

“You could have helped me find him though!” Ben shouted. “Armie got kicked out of school. He’s ended up in exile in Scotland. He had our babies on his own on the kitchen floor! They could all have died!”

“That’s enough,” Armitage said quietly.

Ben immediately stopped and took a deep breath. 

Han and Leia shared a look. They weren’t compatible but they knew enough Alpha/Omega couples to recognise the dynamic.

“You said your name ‘was’ Armitage Hux, are you and my son Mated now?” Leia asked.

“Yes.” Ben said so quickly it was like a gunshot. “There’s nothing you can do about that.”

“Does he make you happy?” Han cut in, apparently sensing another rant on the horizon.

“Very. He’s given me everything I ever wanted.”

“Then that’s all we can ask for in this life, kid,” He said. “If you’re happy, we’re happy for you.”

“Yes, of course,” Leia agreed. “If you’re happy?”

Ben ignored them both and asked. “Han, did my life insurance payout?”

Another shared look. Leia raised her eyebrows while Han rubbed at his hair. 

“How you do you know about that, kid?”

“Han, I’m 21 and a father of two, please stop calling me ‘kid’. I heard in the hospital. You were arguing about it right outside my door.”

“Okay, Ben, yes,” Han said evenly, like a man talking to an angry bear. “It paid out. The money is in a separate account but it is yours. We didn’t tell you at the time because we didn’t want you to lose hope, and then you were so determined to leave before you were well…”

“You’ll let me have it now?”

“Of course. We’ll have to fly over though, there’s legal matters involved and…” Han looked at Leia.

“Ben, Armitage, we understand you’re upset but please, can we meet the little ones?”

There was a long pause filled with the distant noise of babies giggling at one another. It made Leia’s heart ache. Ben had sounded just like that, once upon a time.

“We’ll think about it,” Ben said at last. “I have to be in London at the end of the month for Fashion Week so, I’ll definitely meet you then. Whether Armie and the girls come, I don’t know.”

* * *

“Hey.”

Dopheld was loitering awkwardly at the kitchen door after Ben had finally gone out to pay the taxi driver and ‘run some errands’. Armitage suspected he was mostly clearing his head after arguing with his mother, but it was already hard being away from him. At least he had Dopheld to keep him company while the babies slept.

“Hi?” He said when Dopheld didn’t start speaking.

“So… you’re Mated now? Everything’s good?” Dopheld asked. He was staring at the door frame, running a fingernail up and down the painted over join between two pieces of wood.

“Yes. Well 75% good, 25% undetermined. Thank you for last night. It… was definitely a surprise.”

His friend blushed and shrugged. “I left an ‘Alpha comes back’ kit in the bathroom on my first visit. I meant to tell you but it seemed kind of insensitive to bring it up at the time.”

Armitage laughed. “You supposed to be a scientist, but you’re an amazing… butler? Nanny? Assistant?”

“I am Dopheld.” He said. “I was glad to help. And… This term is lost already so I wanted to make clear- if you need me, I’m here. I can stay until mid-April. But I don’t  _ have _ to, okay, I know dynamics can be tricky.”

“Thank you.” Armitage said, staring thoughtfully out of the window. “We might be going to London soon. Some things have come up. Do you think you could hold the fort here? Just for a little bit? I’d take the girls obviously, I mean the chickens, and rabbits, and queen Millicent.”

There was a patter of feet across the floorboards above them as the cat came to investigate who was using her name in vain.

“Sure.”

Armitage found himself picking at a loose part of the work surface, mirroring Dopheld’s own displacement activity as he wondered how - and whether he  _ should _ \- address the elephant in the room. 

“Look… I think this is a non-issue but Ben asked and I don’t want to do anyone a disservice by ignoring it, but…” he trailed off. “Fuck. I don’t want this question to offend you, I absolutely don’t mean it that way, just…”

“Go on. I won’t be offended- I shared a house with Thanisson for years.”

“And this is such a Thanisson question to ask,” Armitage sighed. “Okay. Why did you help me? Ben wanted to know if he should worry about you and I said no because you’re not  _ interested  _ in people that way but…”

“I helped you because I liked you as a friend, and possibly because I’m weak for pregnant Omegas.” Dopheld mumbled the last half of the sentence then held up a hand, clearly realising how those could be taken. “ _ Not sexually or romantically _ . Just. I soon as you told me you were pregnant I couldn’t help worrying about you. After the visit in the summer I got paranoid about everything. I was mad at myself for not coming sooner than Christmas. You joked about me being a nanny but, I think you’re right in a way. I don’t ever want to date anyone or mate with anyone, but helping other Omegas get through? Caring for babies all day? I love it, I love the girls, it’s just… what’s the word? Reassuring? That they’re not mine, I can leave if I need to, it’s not a duty.”

Armitage nodded. He didn’t fully understand- he had little interest in other people’s children - but he could put himself in Dopheld’s place enough to accept that’s how his friend was, and he was happy like that. 

“Well, thank you again. If we ever become a burden, please, tell me?”

Millicent chose that moment to run into the kitchen and meow loudly at them both. 

“Okay,” Dopheld nodded. “I don’t think the girls could ever be a burden though.”

He looked down at the cat where she was kneading urgently at his leg.

“This one though, this one is a burden.”

* * *

“You ready for another serious conversation?” Ben asked quietly.

Kyla was laid along his lap, tiny feet kicking at his stomach while he played with her hands. She was so small he could barely believe it, but she was already twice her birth weight. He’d missed so much. Would she even have been able to get her fingers around his thumb when she was first born?

Armie glanced up from the armchair where he was trying to clean milk drool from Benja’s face. 

“Roll a diplomacy check.” 

Ben shook his head in mock despair at his Mate’s mood, but in doing so he noticed the giant d20 he’d sent Armie for his birthday laying under the coffee table. Carefully supporting Kyla’s body he reached out a toe and kicked the dice across the carpet. 

It landed on a one for just an instant before Millicent darted out from under the sofa to reclaim her toy. She batted it over onto a twenty so the lights inside would flash.

“Does that count?”

“Technically I think that just means Millie can get me to help her, not you.”

“Millie can already get you to do whatever she wants because she’s a cat, and adorable.” Ben sighed dramatically. “I’m also adorable.”

“I don’t think anyone with biceps that big can be classed as adorable, it’s not a tiefling appropriate character trait.”

Ben slumped back into the sofa cushions with a sigh. Why was everything so complicated?

“Armie? Please.”

“Okay, fine,” he said, sitting Benja up on his knee to play with her. “What do you need to talk about now?”

“Last night.” Ben licked his lips awkwardly. “ _ We _ need to talk about last night- when you changed your mind.”

Armie flushed but didn’t meet his eye. 

“I know it was stupid. I made a fuss and then, blurgh…” He tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling, jaw working awkwardly in frustration. “I hate this. I hate the way my body does this. Have you ever had an addiction? Or have you had a rut yet?”

Ben shook his head, unsure where this was going but willing to let Armie talk it through. Most Alphas didn’t have full blown ruts until their late twenties, if they had any at all. He’d heard rumours as a teen that a rut was like a heat but not much else.

“It’s like I have two brains.” Armie went on. “My sensible brain can talk until its blue in the face about money, stress, practicality, health, pain, blah, blah, blah but all my Omega brain can do is scream about babies and mating. It’s absolutely irrational. And it wasn’t ever as bad when I was still a virgin. It’s like the first time I saw you naked the Omega side got proved right and now it’s louder than ever.”

He finally tipped his head to look at Ben with anguished eyes. “I absolutely want another baby with you, a thousand even, I want to be pregnant forever provided you’re the one who does it. But that’s like someone saying they want to dive head first into a vat of chocolate. It’s not a good idea. And right now, with our clothes on, I can say that. We shouldn’t have another baby just yet, we should be sensible. Whether I can stay that way in the bedroom, I don’t know. I don’t think I can. Because what I want will be right there.”

“Can you take suppressants?” Ben asked. He knew his own opinions on these things but he didn’t think it’d be helpful to share them right now. Armie was the one who’d have to carry any pregnancy that happened.

“Not while I’m feeding, and I want to give them at least the first six months.”

“So if we don’t want a baby our choices are condoms or abstention then.” He said. There still weren’t any safe suppressive chemicals for Alphas yet. “I got condoms while I was out. I’m not sure I can survive abstention. Though I should probably call the hospital and find out what my fertility actually looks like. I know they tested it, I just didn’t pay attention to what they said. We might be worrying about nothing.”

“Do you think you can control yourself enough to manage this for us?” Armie asked. His face twisted in disgust as he added. “Damn, I hate that sentence. I hate feeling like I have no control over myself. Urgh.”

“I think I can,” Ben said with what he hoped Armie would take as a comforting smile. “I have more willpower than you and it’s part of keeping you safe. As an Alpha I want to keep my Mate happy above anything else. Okay? So, new rule. If you change your mind again in the heat of the moment, we keep on using protection and talk about it when we’ve both come down. If we decide  _ then _ to get pregnant I’ll just drag you straight back to bed.”

He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. Armie finally gave him a fond smile but it was Kyla who laughed properly. Ben blew a raspberry at her. 

“What if… what if it took this time?” Armie asked quietly. “What if I’m already pregnant?”

“Wouldn’t you have had a heat? You had a mini heat last time.”

Armie shrugged. “Fertility comes back gradually. You should probably be aware that my next heat will be a full blown true heat- which I’ve never had so I have no idea what to expect. But apparently Omegas can release occasional eggs before that without realising.”

“So there’s a tiny chance.”

“Yes.”

“And there was only the smallest of chances last time.”

“Yeah.”

“Then I say we’d be the luckiest people in the world and we should probably buy lottery tickets,” Ben laughed. He shifted Kyla into his arms and crossed the room to kneel next to the airchair where he could rest his head against Armie’s leg.

“I want to see you pregnant.” He went on. “I want it so much it hurts. I swear I’m never going to push you to do that deliberately if you’re not comfortable. But if there’s already a baby in there I’m going to be nothing but happy about it. We can manage. We’re together now. Okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

London was hell. Armitage had always thought that but this time, climbing down from an early morning train trying to manage luggage and two infants, he was absolutely sure of it.

There were too many people. Just far far too many. He felt hysterical with it as soon as they got on to the platform. 

Ben was wearing both babies- Kyla strapped to his front and Benja to his back. That at least meant they were safe but being unable to close to all of them at once had Armitage’s alarm bells ringing like crazy. He couldn’t protect them properly in this crowd.

He wanted to be back in the glen with his cat, his family and a handful of distant neighbours, not dragging two suitcases through a busy station. 

Fortunately Ben’s agency had sent a driver to collect them, so they were soon safely closed in a luxury car, but it wasn’t done quickly enough to save his frazzled nerves.

“I can’t take them to the shows,” Armitage said as soon as the engine would cover their conversation from their driver. “I sorry, this wasn’t a good idea.”

Ben grabbed his hand and squeezed tight. “I know. Don’t worry, you’ll all be fine in the hotel, and we’ll work out a different way to get home.” 

They’d been Mated three weeks now. Everyday it got easier to read one another’s moods and worries. Armitage could tell Ben was nervous about the shows, as well as seeing his parents, but the confidence he radiated on this subject really helped to calm him.

Wriggling across the seat Armitage leaned his face against Ben’s neck. Few things in the world were as good as the smell of his Alpha. 

“I talked to Leia late last night- I think she’s still running on LA time.” Ben laughed. “She said they’ve got tickets to my first show and then they want to come back to the hotel with me. They were talking about eating out, but I told them to wait on that. I still don’t know how this is all going to go.”

“That sounds sensible.”

“Look, mom’s an Alpha, and Han is a Beta. they might not understand some Omega habits, so if they make you uncomfortable, please just tell me.”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, but you’re going to introduce our babies to two people you’ve never met before and you’re already keyed up, so…”

“When did you become the sensible one?”

“When you let me screw you with no protection on a first date.”

“It wasn’t even a date!” Armitage laughed. “But I’m gonna make a note of that Alpha- you owe me a date.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to PangolinPirate for [this amazing image of the family!](https://sinceyouaskedmeforataleof.tumblr.com/post/179408184824/pangolinpirate-babe-im-here-again-for-the)

They’d hardly finished checking into the hotel when the receptionist gestured towards an elegant seating area by the bar. 

“Ms Holdo has been waiting for you, Mr Ren.”

Armitage turned to see a whip thin woman in impossibly chic clothes swirling a martini. He’d never seen someone look so dignified with purple hair before- certainly his stepmother couldn’t manage it with her overdyed orange locks. 

“How about we transfer to another hotel?” Ben murmured in his ear, but too late.

The woman had twisted in her seat to regard them all. “Hello, Kylo.”

“Uh, hello Amilyn, I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said nervously. “Or, uh, anywhere else.”

She raised an eyebrow. 

“Sorry I ruined your shoot,” he went on. “This is my Mate, Armitage. Armie you might recognise Amilyn’s voice, she was shouting in the background that first time you called me back.”

“I apologise as well,” Armitage said with a formal half-bow. Apparently he hadn’t forgotten all his good manners during his exile. 

“It’s alright. Your mother told me,” Amilyn said. 

She waved them towards the sofa opposite her. Armitage would have preferred to go directly to their room and lock the door, but for the sake of Ben’s career he perched awkwardly at the edge of the cushions. Ben settled next to him looking like a schoolboy expecting to get detention. On his lap the twins batted at one another, entirely oblivious to the general mood.

“Drink? No, I suppose that’s not appropriate. Well,” she sighed. “Normally I would have blacklisted you for your behaviour, Kylo, I’m not one to encourage the whole ‘bad boy’ persona but as an Alpha myself I can understand the stress you were under.”

Ben blinked in surprise. “Thank you. I…”

“I must insist that you keep yourself in check going forward though,” Amilyn went on. “I don’t usually give second chances, a third is simply unheard of.”

“Absolutely.” Ben nodded. “Now that we’ve… well, don’t worry about it.”

“Good. I’m not saying you need to tame that fire in front of the lens though - that’s what the editors are going mad for after all - just don’t subject me to it again.”

Armitage couldn’t help but smile at his Mate as Ben kept on nodding like one of those toy dogs at the back of a car. 

“Now, one of the reasons I wanted to meet you here - obviously this week is going to be manic- but Leia is one of my oldest friends and she hasn’t met her granddaughters yet.” She held up the most expensive looking camera Armitage had ever seen. “Would you mind if I took a few portraits of the girls for her? And of yourselves as well. I’ll happily email them to you.”

“These won’t end up in Hello Magazine will they?” Armitage laughed. “My stepmother would have a heart attack… Well…”

Ben met his eye with a grin. “That wouldn’t be a terrible idea.”

Across the table Amilyn sipped her drink with a neutral expression. “I don’t usually work with gossip magazines but for such a worthy cause…” She winked. “Don’t worry, they won’t be published without your permission.”

* * *

The room had unlimited wi-fi! Of the many luxuries Armitage had been dreaming of for the last year, actually being able to get on the internet was the most fabulous of them all.

There was also complimentary room service so Armitage took the opportunity to order a meal not cooked in his home for the first time in what felt like forever. It was only a coronation chicken sandwich and a banana smoothie but it might as well be the food of the gods. 

So with delicious food in hand, twins tucked up for their nap, and Ben out at work, Armitage dived into his emails properly for the first time in a year.

His inbox was a mess. 

Within ten minutes he was eying the mini-bar for liquid support. 

Tiaan had apparently taken a very hard line about erasing Techie from the game and everyone else was upset about that. 

Thanisson had fed the rumour mill approximately two hundred outrageous stories about his absence, some of which had turned into campus legend. 

His father seemed to have gone on a drunk rant at least once a month, clearly disappointed that Armitage hadn’t been all that upset about being disowned. 

Maratelle had sent him three separate messages containing only the word ‘whore’. 

He was ready to delete everything in his email, block everyone, and start over when he saw an email at the bottom of the screen.

**_Sloane, Rae_ ** _ Re: Continuing PhD After Leave of Absence _

Before he could open it the laptop chimed to signal the arrival of another new email. Amilyn had already sent them six portraits - the girls together and alone, with each of their parents, and a family portrait. Even unedited they were beautiful. It felt strange to see himself sitting next to a model but she was right, something came out of Ben when a camera was pointing at him. It was a good look.

He set the group picture to his wallpaper, saved the rest, and opened the email. 

_ Armitage,  _

_ Following a recent conversation with Chancellor Mothma I would like to formally invite you back to the department to complete your PhD after your recent medical leave of absence. As previously discussed there are residences available for married Alpha/Omega couples and their children on campus, as well as a daycare and other provisions to allow you and your Mate to complete your educations. I was was very happy to hear about Mr Solo’s recovery and your union. I wish to add my congratulations to those of Chancellor Mothma and the rest of the university staff.  _

_ Please contact me at your earliest convenience to discuss this offer.  _

_ Rae _

The mini-bar was looking really, really tempting right now. But he was alone with the girls, so he resisted. 

* * *

**_What’s Better Than A Hunky Alpha With A Cute Baby? A Hunky Alpha With Twins!_ **

_ London’s fashion week has yet to start but hot-and-moody newcomer Kylo Ren has already set the gossip mills turning. The feisty Alpha who famously vanished in January after storming out a shoot for Resist Perfume’s latest ad campaign was seen this morning carrying not one but two babies through St Pancras station. Is he off the market or merely helping a friend? More on this story as we have it. _

* * *

Ben settled into the makeup chair for the first of his pre-show shoots and tried to stop his leg from jiggling. Nerves where getting to him.

He’d absolutely never expected to get snapped by the paparazzi with the girls. Honestly he’d never expected to be photographed at all. He’d been used to cameramen coming after his mother when he was a child - Han had always tried to fight them - but he didn’t think of himself as a celebrity yet. 

At least Armie had seen the funny side of it- he was standing right there next to Ben in the image but clearly no one was making the connection between the two of them. Still, it wasn’t ideal for the girls to be in the public eye like that.

“Shirt off please,” the makeup artist said lightly. It was the first day and tempers had yet to be frayed. He knew he should savour the civility while it lasted.

As he pulled his shirt over his head he heard a ‘hmm’ from her but when she said nothing else he decided not to worry about it. 

Whatever the shoot was today it involved a lot of pearlescent body paint. And glitter. So much glitter that that sneezing would probably result in a cloud of the stuff flying out of his hair. He hoped they wouldn’t expect the same look on the catwalk tomorrow, he wouldn’t be able to resist laughing.

“Well that’s an interesting choice for your career! And by interesting I mean terrible.” 

Ben looked up just in time to see the designer’s assistant jabbing a finger toward his claim mark. 

There was no thought, one moment he noticed the finger, the next he was twisting it away from him while the assistant whimpered in pain.

“Don’t ever touch that without permission and  _ don’t ever  _ talk shit about the commitment I’ve made to my Mate,” he growled. “I don’t  _ have to be here _ .”

“What?!” The assistant managed to squeak out. 

Kylo pushed him away none too gently.

“There are a lot better things I could be doing with my life than this.” 

“Oooh how romantic!!” The designer cried as he bustled over, hip checking his now cringing assistant out of the way in his eagerness to peer at Ben’s shoulder. “So sexual, so savage! Ah I love Alphas, I wish I could have a hundred of you!!”

Ben rolled his eyes at the stereotypes but snorted when he caught the look on the makeup artist’s face- he had just half assaulted someone for touching him, he couldn’t exactly claim that every stereotype was untrue. 

“Paint it gold!! And silver! You’re alright with that, aren’t you Kylo? I’m sure your little Omega will love it!!”

“He’s 6’1”.” Ben muttered, but the designer was already gone.

The makeup artist was staring at him nervously. He shrugged.

“Just warn me before you touch it. And don’t say anything dumb about it, I’ve had my fill of stupid for the day.”

“It’s only going to get worse.”

Ben sighed. “Tell me about it.”

* * *

The knock on the door wasn’t Ben.

Armitage didn’t know that because of Mystic Omega Powers, he knew that because Ben was a huge nerd who liked to knock in morse code. This was a normal knock as might be used by a sane person.

It was still pretty scary in the current context.

Ben wasn’t back at the hotel yet and his parents were due any minute. They were almost certainly the ones knocking on the door of the suite right now.

Armitage really didn’t want to let them in. 

He’d never met them, he didn’t know them, and the thought of strangers in his family’s space made his skin crawl. At least they’d gotten a suite so they’d be meeting in a sitting room and not their actual bedroom but still. He didn’t like it. 

Decades of having good manners hammered into him took control over his Omega side and opened the door despite his objections. 

Leia Organa was a lot shorter than he’d expected. It was a ridiculous first thought to have about his mother in law but she was almost comically short for an Alpha. Beside her Han Solo was half hidden by a massive gift basket that Armitage couldn’t help worrying about getting home.

“Uh, hi,” he said, feeling like an idiot as his brain failed him so completely.

“Hello, you must be Armie,” Leia said with her hand outstretched.

He took it, but as he waved them into the suite his mouth continued to sabotage him by saying, “It’s Armitage actually. Ben’s the only one who gets away with ‘Armie’.”

He cringed but Leia only grinned.

“Ah Ben’s the same,” she said, “he’s not allowed anyone to call him Benning since he was five.”

Armitage blinked.

“Four,” Han corrected. “He scratched the extra letters off that training bike we got him at christmas.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Ben’s legal name is Benning?” Armitage asked with smile he couldn’t entirely suppress. 

Han shook his head while he manoeuvred the gift basket awkwardly onto the coffee table. It was bigger than both the girls together.  

“No, we got it changed for him as a sixteenth birthday gift,” he sighed as he sank down onto the couch next to Leia. “Now he’s working as Kylo Ren so that was a waste of money.”

“It gives us some privacy,” Armitage said, but neither of his guests were listening any more. They were both staring at the girls wriggling around on their playmat. “And it gave Kyla a name. I don’t know how I would have picked one if Ben hadn’t loved his D&D character so much.”

Kyla turned her head towards him at the sound of her own name but she soon got distracted again when Benja poked her in the nose. Soon they were engaged in a sort of hugging wrestling match that kept their grandparents wrapped attention while Armitage bustled around making tea.

He was just settling into armchair when the girls decided to their current party trick of using one another’s hands to pull themselves up into a sitting position. It was adorable to watch because they did it with all the focus of acrobats performing some amazing stunt, and usually one or both of them would topple over before they got it right.

“Oh! They’re already sitting up at four months! They’re so clever!” Leia cried as Benja slapped the floor and Kyla gave herself a round of applause. “Ben was a very lazy baby, he didn’t even bother learning to crawl.”

“No,” Han laughed. “He just woke up one morning and decided to run. Gave me a heart attack, one minute he’s lying there, next he’s halfway across the lawn.”

“They must it get it from you.”

“I have no idea,” Armitage said. He turned to watch his daughters to avoid looking at his in laws. “My mother died when I was four, and I went straight to boarding school. I don’t know what I was like as a child.”

At the corner of his vision he saw Leia tip her head curiously. “Maratelle…”

“Oh, she isn’t my mother.” He kept his voice light. It was a very old wound, but one that had been much bruised over the last year. “My mother was the housekeeper’s assistant.” 

He turned back just in time to see Leia’s wide eyed expression before it was covered by her carefully blank politician’s face. Beside her Han had raised an eyebrow but little more. 

“I’m so sorry.” Leia murmured. 

Armitage shrugged. “It is what it is.” 

Fortunately Ben returned just in time to break the tension, and cover the carpet is an excessive quantity of glitter. There were hints of something opalescent around his ears and under his chin too. 

“Hi, sorry, gotta shower, two minutes.” And then he was gone again. 

“Is it always like this?” Han asked as the bedroom door slammed shut.

“I really have no idea, I’ve been in Scotland,” Armitage said. “Things are much calmer up there, less glitter, more chicken feathers.”

“How did you end up in Scotland by the way?”

“I took a job caretaking for Chancellor Mothma, she has a house up in-”

“I know Mon Mothma,” Leia cut in. She was frowning now. “I’ve known her for longer than I’ve known Han, why didn’t  _ she _ contact us about all this?”

“I didn’t give her the details,” Armitage said. Almost immediately his mouth started to get away from him. “I’ve barely spoken to her directly. My doctoral advisor set the whole thing up. I’m not actually sure if I ever mentioned Ben by name. Ms Organa, given what happened with my parents I know how badly wrong unexpected pregnancies can go, especially from a political point of view. Your son was dying and here’s some random Omega telling you he’s having his babies? You can’t DNA test until they’re born, that could have been months of hurt and resentment building up…”

Leia raised a hand to stop him. 

“I’d say I’m offended that you’d think I was anything like your father but I do understand your concerns,” she said carefully. “They’re breaking my heart but I do understand them. And I can see why Mon wouldn’t have pressed you for details- she did go through something similar.”

“Things happen,” Han added. He sounded oddly casual about it, but if even half Ben’s stories about him were true he’d probably had a difficult past himself. “I’m glad Ben found you and the four of you can be happy.”

“And please, call me Leia. You’re all family now.”

“I’d say call me Han but Ben’s called me that his entire life, and I imagine calling me Mr Solo would have just been confusing since you’re Mr Solo too now.”

Armitage grinned. “I was going to avoid the problem of calling you anything by just saying ‘Sir’.”

“No one calls Han that. Except Cecil.” Ben said from the bedroom doorway. He was still towelling his hair but at least he was less shiny now. “Hi.”

He almost fell back out of the room again when Leia jumped up and hugged him. After a few awkward seconds he returned the gesture briefly before leading her back to her seat.

“Would you like to hold the girls?” He asked. On the floor Kyla was already holding her arms up for him. She was a natural daddy’s girl. Benja was more interested in investigating his toes.

The next half an hour passed with a lot of cooing and giggling from the youngest and oldest parties in the room. 

Despite the perfectly serviceable second armchair Ben chose to sit on the arm of Armitage’s chair instead. It seemed that being close to his Omega was just what he needed after whatever kind of afternoon he’d had. 

Armitage kept finding himself unconsciously resting his head against Ben’s hip or thigh. Even immediately after a shower his scent was still a comfort. 

“Ben, about your life insurance,” Han said while Benja tried to steal his sunglasses from his shirt pocket. “I’ve brought the papers to get it signed over. It’s just under £750,000 but I hope it’ll be enough to get you and your family set up somewhere.”

Armitage nearly choked on his tea. “I’m sorry, it’s how much?!”

* * *

Sunday night wasn’t exactly a traditional night for a perfect first date, but at this stage Armitage would probably have agreed to go to a McDonalds if it just meant getting Ben alone for a while.

He hadn’t realised how much he would miss Ben once he was going out to work. It worried him a little how quickly he’d become reliant on having people around, Ben especially. 

The needy feeling in his gut wasn’t helped by Ben’s heavy schedule over the last week and the limited chance for intimacy that came with that. Armitage had gotten used to regular sex- a few five minute fumbles in the shower while the girls slept really wasn’t enough.

Still he was grateful for what he could get. They hadn’t expected a chance to go out in London at all, but when they realised the train wouldn’t work with Armitage’s crowd anxiety Ben had arranged for Dopheld to drive down and pick them up. Ever an angel in disguise Dopheld had offered to babysit for the evening. So here they were. On their very first date.

“Is that really what you’re eating?” Ben asked with a playful grin.

Armitage sniffed. “What?” 

He picked up his beer, meaning to take a haughty sip but the smell nauseated him. Weird, usually he enjoyed Tiger beer with a curry.

“Malayan is such a weirdly British curry though,” Ben laughed. “There’s chunks of banana in it as big as the chicken pieces! It’s not even plantain, it’s the stuff they sell in bunches at the supermarket.”

Armitage ate a piece of the banana as dramatically as he could, just to wind Ben up a little more.

“I’m pretty sure some supermarkets sell bunches of plantain,” he said. “And the man eating phall doesn’t get to call me out for eating a British curry- that was only invented so macho men could showing off about how far up the Scoville scale they can get without throwing up.”

“I happen to enjoy it.”

“And I enjoy this. So why don’t we both enjoy our meals?” Armitage tried to be reconciliatory but Ben still looked a little sad. Clearly he didn’t like being compared to macho men. “Here, do you want my beer? It smells weird.”

Ben took the glass. “Smells fine to me. Tastes fine too.”

“Well, I’m still feeding so…” 

They lapsed into a few minutes of silent chewing before Ben said, “so, about the life insurance money?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want to do?”

Armitage smiled fondly at him, Ben really was taking his role as a good Alpha seriously. “What do  _ you _ want to do? You’re the one who earned it by nearly dying.”

“Buy a twenty bedroom mansion and see if I can fuck that many babies into you.” Ben said like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“Fucking hell, Ben!!” Armitage blushed so hard there was probably steam coming from his ears.

He didn’t dare look up but in his mind’s eye the occupants of the other tables were staring at them in shock at Kylo’s lewdness. 

“Well, we can all dream!”

“Not out loud and in public we can’t!”

Ben shrugged and started tearing up the naan in the middle of the table. It was an oddly nervous gesture given his bravado only moments before.

“Spoilsport. I have been meaning to tell you though…” He dropped the bread and reached across the table for Armitage’s hand. “I talked to the oncology department that treated me here before, and the Alpha team agreed to run some tests for me. You know, to compare to the results from Texas.”

Armitage felt like he was turning cold from the inside out- was the cancer back? This would be a really terrible time to share that news, but Ben’s face was hard to read in the low light.

He squeezed Ben’s fingers. “What sort of tests?”

“Sperm count,” Ben said quietly. “The prep for bone marrow transplant, and some of my chemo- either can be really bad for fertility. But, the good news - I’m at 20% of normal, which is 6% up from when I left Texas. Apparently that’s a good omen for getting it all back. Bad news - it could take up to four years to reach 100%, if it ever does.”

“Fucking hell, I thought you were going say you were sick again!” Armitage hissed and slapped his hand - not hard enough to hurt but enough to make his point. “So, what you’re saying is we have to wait four years?”

“We don’t  _ have _ to wait, but we might need to try harder when we  _ are _ ready.”

“And you’d really hate that- a medically approved reason to keep me in bed longer. But seriously though, what about... you know… abnormalities?” It was a difficult word to say out loud but if they needed to be prepared then Armitage wanted things to be as clear as possible. “Should we be worried about that?”

“Nope, they all look healthy, they’re just real lonely in there.”

“Oh my god.”

“They need a friend, Armie.”

“Stop it! We agreed- none of your sperm are making friends with the inside of me any time soon.”

Ben gave a weird rumbling whine that seemed to be an exclusively Alpha noise. It went straight to the neediness that was still squirming around in Armitage’s belly. 

“They’re not picky! It doesn’t have to be inside.”

Armitage covered his face with his hands against the mix of amused embarrassment and arousal that really wasn’t appropriate for a public setting. 

“Do you need to go back to the hotel?” He asked once he could trust himself to speak without laughing in frustration. “Or do you think you can keep yourself under control for a couple more hours? Because you are really testing me.”

“Okay,” Ben sighed. “I’ve just missed you.”

“And I’ve missed you too,” Armitage said. He took Ben’s hand again across the table. “Thank you for telling me though, I guess we’ll take it all into account when we’re ready. Now, you wanted to talk about the money?”

Like an actor trying to get back in character Ben waved a hand in front of his face until his expression was reasonably serious again, then gestured back towards their food. Holding hands was great but dinner was getting cold.

“Well,” He began after a few bites. “I really enjoyed this week- the work I mean. I didn’t think I would but I did. And there’s a lot of money it. Do you know what I was going to do with my degree?”

“Not really.”

“Me neither. I had no plan.” Ben laughed. “So I think I’d rather keep doing this. But, I can travel to do this, so- what do  _ you _ want to do? Do you want to transfer your PhD somewhere?”

Armitage smiled at Ben’s confession- he’d suspected as much but it was oddly reassuring to know he hadn’t misjudged him. Not that many students knew precisely what they wanted to do but Ben had always seemed a bit more academically aimless than the rest. 

“When Han told us how much the payout was going to be I did some research. I think the important thing is to get us settled into a house. One that you can easily travel from but also close to whatever university I choose, and has access to a good school.”

“Trust you to get to your organisation skills right onto this,” Ben’s tone was teasing but affectionate. “Does such a house exist? Because I was going to suggest Edinburgh- Dopheld’s there so you’d have some support while I was away, and the university is good.”

“Such houses do exist there,” Armitage said, “but not as close or as cheap as I’d like and well, Scotland is really cold. Plus, following Dopheld would be kinda creepy without consulting him. This whole thing being of his own free will is really important to him. And… hear me out before you get upset…”

“Uh-oh.” Ben crossed his arms and raised both eyebrows.

“Professor Sloane emailed me…”

“Armie.”

Armitage raised a finger. “Let me finish. Chancellor Mothma encouraged her to invite me back, they’re going to call it a medical leave of absence...”

“Bullshit.”

“I can slot directly back into where I left off, I can get everything finished...”

“Tiaan Jerjerrod wouldn’t even speak to me, people know why you left.”

“People  _ think _ they know,” Armitage went on over Ben’s words. “But we’ll be coming back all Mated and proper so no one can object- the babies are clearly yours, you nearly died, and you’re a fucking model now so…”

“So?!” Ben almost stood from his chair but managed to rein himself in at the last second and just grabbed the edge of the table instead. “So?! They fucking threw you and the babies out with nothing! If anyone else had been Chancellor where the fuck would you be now? Dopheld would have done what he could, but for fucks sake Armitage you could all be dead!”

Hearing his full name from Ben’s mouth was a shock he hadn’t expected. It was almost like being slapped.

Maybe Ben sensed he’d gone too far too because he sagged in his seat with his head down. 

“I hate them,” he mumbled. “I won’t ever forgive them for what they did.”

“Don’t underestimate me, Ben _ ning _ Solo, Kylo fucking Ren-”

“Armie, please.”

“The girls are my life.” He went on icily. “For a while they were all I had left. I would  _ not _ have let anything harm them. If the house in Scotland hadn’t fallen into my lap, I would have found something else. They’d be just as healthy and loved as they are now.”

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and something like grief. “Hell, Ben, we’d have found each other sooner if I’d gone somewhere civilised. If I’d followed Dopheld to Edinburgh or stayed at home with Thanisson. In fact Dopheld probably wouldn’t have left in the first place. But none of that is relevant, we’re talking about the future.”

“We’re talking about people who betrayed us.”

“I know.”

“So, why?” Ben asked. “Why go back there?”

“Because I know the city, and I love it.” Armitage said, counting on his fingers. “I know the campus and at least some of the students. I have a doctor there I can trust. I have at least one friend there, maybe more once we get back into things. Tiaan was a dick but there were others. You had friends there too.”

He shoved his plate away and reached out both hands to Ben. After a worryingly long pause Ben took them.

“Look,” Armitage said, “I’ve found an amazing house for about half of the money - five bedrooms; a garden big enough that we can keep chickens; a separate suite over the garage if Dopheld did want to join us or for your parents to visit; plus it’s close to the station for you and near the university for me. There’s a campus creche for the girls now and a good school when they’re older. And here’s the thing Ben- I’m not going to go meekly back to the department like nothing happened. I’ve already talked to the Chancellor. If anyone mentions it I’m going to fucking raise hell.”

A smile slowly spread over Ben’s face. “Really?” 

Armitage meet the smile with a grin.

“‘Where have you been for the last year, Armitage?’” He said in a ridiculous voice. “Thanks for asking- the school threw me out while my Alpha was dying. Betas getting unmarried housing, but I got kicked out when my Alpha was too sick to help me. Here, sign my petition to change the rules, it’s 2010 not 1850, please note Chancellor Mothma’s signature at the top.”

Ben blinked. “I fucking love you.”

“Good.”

“You’re not going to get kicked out again about this?”

“Probably not. It’s not like I’m saying anything untrue. And from what I hear she’s been laying the groundwork for some changes. Besides,” Armitage shrugged, “my Mate’s a hot international fashion model and I’ve two gorgeous twins at home, what the fuck do I care about anyone else’s opinion any more?”

“You know earlier, when you asked if I needed to go back to the hotel?” Ben asked, while he waved for a waiter. “We definitely need to go, right now, so I can fuck your brains out.”

“Aw, but I need those for thinking.”

“Too late, you’re just too sexy when you’re decisive. There’s really no other option.”

“Careful, Ben. You’re giving me far too much power right now.” Armitage winked. “You don’t know what I’ll do with it.”

* * *

“Armie…” Ben murmured in his Omega’s ear. They’d just stepped into the hotel elevator and Ben had immediately pulled Armie back against his chest. He smelled amazing. “Armie… tell me what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Armie asked, then hummed knowingly as Ben flexed his hips against his ass. “Oh, well…”

“Need to fuck you.” He’d been at least half-hard ever since the discussion about his sperm count and the persistent arousal was starting to get away from him. If he’d thought Armie would allow it he’d probably have done more than just holding hands in the cab. Instead he’d just let himself get more and more worked up.

“And you, Ben, my darling Alpha, need to ask more politely.” Armie said. He reached back to squeeze roughly at his erection. 

“Please, Armie, let me fuck you.”

“Hmmm… no… try again.” 

Armie turned in his arms to face him. He was almost as hard where their hips pressed together but apparently he had more self control. Ben turned his head, trying to catch his lips, but they were always just out of reach.

“Please?” He tried. He really was too far gone for all these games.

“Be nice.” Armie prompted. He ran his hands down Ben’s sides and then back up under his shirt.

“Let me make love to you.” When Armie shivered Ben knew he was on the right track. “Wanna make you cum. Please, Omega, let me make you happy.”

“Mmmm, you always make me happy, but okay, I’ll allow it.” Armie smirked up at him. “But you do exactly as I say.”

“Absolutely.”

Ben shivered himself when Armie leaned in to whisper right in his ear.

“One- you don’t make a sound, the walls in the suite thin and don’t want anyone else waking up because you’re a needy Alpha with no control.” One of Armie’s hands snaked down to fondle his length again. “Two- I want to come at least once before this is inside me. Understood?”

“Oh god, Armie, I love you.”

“I know.” He said. His fingers didn’t slow their stokes over the front of Ben’s suit. “But do you understand?”

Moaning with enthusiasm Ben nodded. “Yes, yes, okay. But you’re gonna have to stop that, I’m too close.”

“Mmm… no.” 

If it weren’t for Armie’s deep red blush Ben would think he’d unlocked some unknown side of Armie’s personality, but this seemed be is Omega doing his best to please him. Perhaps it was a little of both.

Ben bit his lip and breathed evenly through his nose, trying not to let the progress of Armie’s hand affect him too much. Fortunately for his sanity the elevator chimed to announce their floor.

He followed Armie down the corridor, absolutely certain that the little minx was swaying his hips more than usual to draw attention to his ass. So when Armie got the door lock Ben kept walking, ‘accidentally’ pinning Armie against the wood.

“Hey!” Armie gasped in faux outrage, but he pushed his ass back anyway.

Ben just held a finger to his lips. “Shhhhh!”

At the edge of his vision he saw Armie roll his eyes for just a second before the door was open and Armie was shoving him through the sitting room towards their bedroom.

While Armie locked the door to the suite, Ben looked around their bedroom for inspiration. The room was small, just big enough for the bed and dressing table. Not interesting enough for his purposes. 

Through the open door to the ensuite Ben spied the full length mirror beside the shower cubicle. Perfect. 

Armie tried to grumble when Ben grabbed his hand but a kiss or five soon put a stop to that. Ben had been challenged to silence and silent he would be.

It was fun to carefully undress his Mate with nothing but gentle touches to guide him. Ben took a surprising amount of pleasure in kissing Armie’s wrists as he unfastened his shirt cuffs, and licking across his collarbones while he unbuttoned his way to his belt. 

From the way Armie smirked he probably expected Ben to keep on going down his sternum. Instead Ben focused on pulling off his shoes.

Soon Armie was standing in front of the full length mirror in nothing but his very tented briefs. Ben on the other hand was still fully dressed in a very nice suit. It was a beautiful contrast.

Armie whined at the back of his throat as Ben stepped around behind him, but he kept his eyes on the mirror when Ben ran his hands up his sides.

Ben had never really taken the time to admire exactly how good his hands looked on Armie’s frame- they might be nearly the same height, but oh god his hands could almost wrap around his waist. He grinned at himself in the mirror when Armie groaned at that sight and arched up on his feet in an effort to get more contact.

Well, it wouldn’t be fair to keep his Mate waiting, and he had asked to come first so… 

Ben wrapped one arm around Armie’s waist to trap him firmly against his chest, and slipped the other hand down under the waistband of Armie’s briefs. He was already rock hard and leaking before Ben had even gotten his fingers around him. 

In fact his briefs were soaked. Ben teased his fingers back towards Armie’s hole; the Omega almost whimpered with need.

Ben nudged Armie’s feet further apart, slotting his still clothed length between his cheeks to take a little of the pressure off, and set to stroking Armie’s cock with long firm strokes. 

Only the head was visible over the waistband, thick strands of precum dribbling over the fabric, but Ben was hardly paying any attention to that. He was watching the way Armie writhed in his grip, blushing all the way down his chest and gasping like he could barely breath.  

Ben could watch this for hours. 

Armie didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. One moment he was grabbing Ben’s hands or reaching back to claw at his suit jacket and hair, the next he was stroking over his own belly and chest. His nipples look so needy, standing tight and pink and proud.

Ben couldn’t resist the temptation. They were calling to him. He loosened his grip just enough to shift his hand from waist to nipple. 

Armie moaned at the slightest touch. His eyes rolled back in his head, already overwhelmed at the pleasure of so little stimulation- he wouldn’t last for long.

“No, watch,” Ben murmured against his ear, grinning as Armie met his own gaze in the mirror. He looked drunk or half out of his senses. “Perfect.”

Watching closely Ben twisted the hot little nub between his fingers and Armie came with a bitten off shout. A picture of purest beauty painted over with splashes of white.

Ben should write that down. Maybe he could start publishing melodramatic poetry as a sideline.

He chuckled in Armie’s ear, releasing his nipple but not his cock as he pushed at his shoulders to bend him forward.

“Is this punishment for trying to take charge?” Armie gasped through tremors of overstimulation. 

“Oh no, darling, I did exactly as you asked, didn’t I?” Ben asked as he fumbled in his pocket. “You came first. You just weren’t very specific about how.”

Armie watched, his eyes half lidded, while Ben tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth. He waited until Ben had eased it over his painfully hard cock to say, “I’m naked and you’re not even going to unbutton your shirt?”

Ben growled and lined himself up against Armie’s hole, staring down in pleased wonder at how easily he opened up for him. “This suit is Burberry, you should be grateful. Besides- nothing I could wear could ever be as beautiful as you.” 

“Don’t be ridicu-aahhh, oh fuuuck,” Armie almost wailed at the stretch as the head of Ben’s cock slipped into him. He scrabbled at the mirror, desperate for purchase but all he could do was lean in to it. 

It was a relief that Armie was so loose and eager- there was no way Ben could last for long. A few deep thrusts and he’d be coming…

“When did I give you permission to speak?” Armie said in a broken but sly voice. “I thought you were supposed to be quiet?”

“I’ve been whispering!”

“Mmm… not good enough. I think that’s earned a penalty.”

Ben opened his mouth to ask ‘seriously?’ but he caught sight of Armie’s devious expression in the mirror. Another word and he’d just inflict more. It was like being in an x-rated game with Armie’s scheming little wizard, but Techie was the villain and the treasure was the opportunity to finally come. 

He closed his mouth with a click of his teeth and raised a questioning eyebrow at the mirror. 

“You have to make me come  _ again _ before you can come…” Armie said just as he deliberately rolled his hips back.

Ben almost bit into his tongue at the sensation. Too much. Far far too much.

He had to concentrate. He needed to win.

He’d never actually let go of Armie’s cock and he was pleased to realise he was already mostly hard in his hand again. He worked it in quick sharp jerks, breathing deep as his hips matched the rhythm and the urge to come hammered at the base of his skull.

Another deep breath. That smell. Armie smelled divine. 

Ben glanced down at the scar on Armie’s neck. There was no technical benefit to biting him again, but…

He lunged forward, biting hard enough to bruise but not to break the skin and shook his head, just a little. Just enough to show Armie that he was serious. 

In his hands Armie spasmed, splashing cum clear up to his chin and clenching down on Ben’s cock. 

His own orgasm broke like a dam, as much relief as pleasure, roaring through his brain until there was nothing left in its wake but flotsam and Armie’s ragged breathing. 

If only his mind could be like that all the time.

“I love you,” Armie gasped. His hands squeaked across the mirror as he tried to hold himself up. He was unsteady but when he tried to take a step they both moaned. 

Ben looked down at where they were joined, or rather where they were tied, and sighed. “Sorry.”

The condom was still on, and by the slightly strange water-balloon feeling around his cock it was working just fine, but knotting right now wasn’t ideal. 

In front of him Armie giggled. “Is that suit waterproof?”

“What?” 

“Well, I don’t want to stay stuck like this all night, not when we’ve got a ten hour drive in the morning, so you’re either going to have to take it off or wear it in the cold shower. Quick choice please- my hamstrings are killing me.”

“How did I end up with such a bossy Omega?” Ben muttered as he awkwardly kicked off his shoes and started wriggling out of his suit. Every movement had Armie gasping and made stars burst in front of his own eyes.

“You’d have… failed… the first year… if I hadn’t organised everything… ungrateful…”

Ben ‘accidentally’ bumped his hips forward just to make Armie groan.

The manoeuvre into the shower was so ridiculous Armie would insist for years that it never happened, but after ten minutes and a lot of cold water Ben finally slipped free.

“That was amazing,” he murmured as he staggered out of the cubicle to take care of things.

Armie only turned into the spray to cool his backside a little more. How he could stand the cold for so long Ben couldn’t understand, but he left him to it until he’d gotten himself dry and found Armie a soft robe to wrap up in.

“I’m sorry I got upset, before,” he said when Armie stepped out into his arms. “I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”

He cringed at Armie’s careful movements- he’d forgotten Omegas weren’t all that big on being knotted outside of heats and mating, and he hadn’t prepped him at all. Guilt was creeping in at the edges of his post-orgasmic glow.

Armie leaned up to kiss him. “I’m sorry I snapped at you too.” 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he laughed as he stumbled out towards the bed. “Just a horny idiot.”

“Aren’t we all?” Ben asked. His hair was still wet but rolling into bed with Armie was a much higher priority right now.

“Hey! l’m not nearly as bad as you.”

* * *

The car ride home was cramped, warm, and apparently endless, but somehow Armitage fell asleep shortly after the second rest break and kept on sleeping until they were back in their own driveway.

He could feel that weird groggy post-nap energy through his whole body. Everything felt too dry and too damp all at once. He wanted to stretch until he could reach the moon. He could sleep for a thousand days. And over it all was the ache of dehydration. 

He was a human desert desperately in need of fluids. 

“How long were we driving that it’s this hot in Scotland?!” He asked to world at large when he unfolded from the backseat. 

He’d kept his coat on after the chilly start in London. Now the lining was drenched in sweat. He peeled it off and let it drop to the ground as he realised his shirt was soaking too.

“Wow, it’s like the tropics up here…”

“Nooo,” Dopheld said carefully, “it’s absolutely fucking freezing. Ben? Sort your Mate out, please.”

“What?” Ben sounded groggy and confused.

“Get him inside before you have to fuck him in the middle of the yard!”

What a good idea! Somehow Armitage knew that was exactly the thing he needed right now. That’d cool him down.

He’d managed to get his belt undone but he still struggling with his fly when Ben threw him over his shoulder and made a dash for the house. 

How strange that touching Ben made him feel cooler and hotter all at once.

Some distant part of his brain highlighted the word ‘hotter’ but he didn’t really understand. Why was  _ heat _ important?

He was face down on the bed with his Alpha’s knot stretching his insides when he finally caught up with the situation. 

This was his first real heat. His body was getting back to normal, whatever normal turned out to be. 

In the back of his mind there was a tiny regret, barely heard over the waves of need and pleasure. 

If he was having a heat he wasn’t pregnant. 

He knew it had been silly to want it, but still, a little part of him missed what wasn’t to be.


	13. Chapter 13

Ben let his breathe out slowly against Armie’s back, relishing the way his Mate wriggled and squirmed at the stretch of his knot. He only breathed in again when his vision started to sparkle at the edges.

Armie smelled amazing- an aphrodisiac that soothed as it warmed. The scent of home, family, and belonging, calling to him to make more of the perfect love they’d found together.

He knew it would be so easy to give in to that siren song, but he also knew that he couldn’t.

Heats were nothing like he’d imagined. 

Well, this one wasn’t at least. It would be unfair to judge the whole concept on this very first heat- Armie had never had an unsuppressed heat before, and Ben’s own knowledge came entirely from porn, but Ben hadn’t expected to be quite so wiped out by the process.

In porn the Omegas were always seductive and vocal, asking for what exactly they wanted in filthy detail. Armie was barely verbal. Occasionally he’d manage a broken ‘please’ or ‘Ben’, but mostly he couldn’t do more than pant and whine while he climbed all over his Alpha like Ben was an adventure playground.

So Ben was caught between guessing what Armie wanted on one hand and trying to reason with him without words on the other. He wasn’t even sure that Armie was fully aware of what was going on. 

Armie wanted Ben. He wanted Ben’s knot, and he wanted to be bred. But they’d already agreed to be careful so between the rounds of mindblowing sex Ben had to deal with Armie trying to get around the condoms. 

It wasn’t exactly deliberate, not like when they’d Mated. 

Rather than intentionally throwing them away, Armie just keep trying to get on his cock before he could get one in place, and whining when Ben stopped him. 

Ben could barely even sleep between rounds. Everyone always made a big deal about heats being an endless cycle of sleeping and fucking, but for Ben the sleep was alluding him. 

He couldn’t fall asleep with his knot still inside Armie- the condom might slip off if he wasn’t paying attention as he softened, and he kept finding Armie in his lap if he was asleep when the heat started to rise again. He was surviving on catnaps.

Keeping them safe was a lot more work than he’d expected when he’d agreed to take on the responsibility for this. 

Armie sighed contently beneath him and sank into the sheets with one last happy wriggle of his hips. 

Ben followed, easing down to cover his sleeping Mate without crushing him, content to breathe in his scent while he waited for his knot to fade. Just filling his lungs with the smell of contentment helped.

His Mate’s welfare was the most important thing. Ben could deny him nothing. In this moment keeping Armie comfortable, safe, and satisfied was the reason for his existence. 

They’d made an agreement. Ben would stick to it. After everything Armie had been through for the last year Ben could live through a few days of frustration.

There was a whine from the body underneath him. 

Rolling them carefully to the side, Ben pulled Armie closer. He was definitely asleep but his belly kept on twitching- his body was still trying to milk Ben’s knot, but without success thanks to the condom. The effect must be exhausting for Armie’s system. Was it harmful? Probably not. Was there a risk the heat would last longer this way?

Ben sighed. He didn’t actually know. The protective Alpha in him worried about how little he knew of Armie’s anatomy. He should do some research into that. 

Across the room he noticed the shelves full of books. There were at least half a dozen titles on the subject of Omegas. Well, that’d be one way of dealing with being unable to sleep.

* * *

Armitage became aware of the world in stages.

There was a cobweb on the ceiling. He didn’t really want to look at it, but since he was pinned by a weight resting on his chest and hips he didn’t have much choice but to stare upwards.

He felt hungover in a way that suggested he’d done something strenuous and dehydrating. His tongue felt like it might crack if he didn’t get something to drink, and his limbs ached in places he couldn’t explain.

The bed underneath him was clammy and sticky, as was the firm body resting between his thighs. At that thought a familiar warmth started to build in his gut, between the stretch of Ben’s knot and an oddly throbbing sensation of emptiness. 

Oh, yes, that was right. He was in heat. He kept forgetting that.

“What day is it?” He managed to ask despite the cardboard tongue that had somehow taken up residence in his mouth.

Ben raised his head from Armitage’s chest just long enough to check his watch. He’d tied his hair back in a messy bun. The rest of him was streaked with sweat and other fluids. He had no right to look as gorgeous as he did. Armitage reached down to stroke his cheek.

“Thursday.” Ben said before he went back to his book.

“Urrrgh.” He groaned, his head falling back to stare at the ceiling again. 

Three nights of this, and who knew how many more. He was going to die.

“How’re you doing?” Ben asked. 

Ben’s breath was unfairly hot against the sensitive skin of Armitage’s chest. How could he concentrate with these continued assaults to his senses?

He pushed himself up onto trembling elbows- intending to tell Ben off- when he properly realised what Ben was doing.

“Are you seriously reading a book right now?” 

Ben shifted enough to look up at him, one finger between the pages to mark his place.

“Yep. Don’t get offended, I’m being practical.” Ben paused to press a soothing kiss to his sternum. “I’d love to just go to sleep with you but- not to be gross- but if I fall asleep before my knot goes down the condoms aren’t really going to work.”

Armitage frowned. His brain was too far behind for this much conversation. His skin burned where Ben had kissed him.

“It’ll fall off or leak.” Ben waved the book he’d been reading. “According to this Omegas can get pregnant at the drop of a hat so, if we’re being careful we’re gonna  _ actually _ be careful. Have you read all of this? Your anatomy is crazy.”

“Gee thanks.” 

He’d have walked away, if he wasn’t pinned, and exhausted, and knotted, and getting horny again, and really in love with this idiot.

“Sorry.” Ben said and kissed him again. “It’s just, I never learned half of this at school. Like, some of this is stuff people really should know about.  _ We _ definitely should have known about it. Hang on-”

He flipped back a few pages, looking for a specific passage towards the front of the book. 

Armitage hadn’t actually read all of that one- he’d been focusing on the sections about pregnancy and birth since he hadn’t actually expected to see Ben again any time soon. Of course, after that Armitage had been too busy raising the girls for any further reading. 

That might prove to have been a mistake. He really should read the rest of the book once this heat was over. Right now the rising urge to mate was already making it hard to concentrate.

“Although it is difficult to run accurate tests in such circumstances,”  Ben began to read aloud, “there is plenty of anecdotal evidence that Omegas with strong emotional bonds are more likely than most to become pregnant from single matings and even more fleeting sexual contact. There have been reported cases of pregnancy from non-penetrative sex and even ejaculate in shared baths… in very well bonded relationships Omegas have been known to become pregnant again while already pregnant - during the first eight weeks of a pregnancy some Omegas continue to heat, while others have fallen freshly pregnant when using penetrative sex to induce labour. In polyamorous relationships Omegas may conceive from consecutive matings with different Alphas, while female Omegas-”

“Okay, Ben, thank you!” Armitage cut him off by literally shoving a hand over his mouth. He couldn’t help squirming with arousal- he hadn’t really heard any of that, all his brain had heard after the first few words was Ben saying ‘pregnant’ far too many times. 

With his other hand he pulled the book away and dropped it down the side of the bed. 

“How about you don’t talk about how easily you could knock me up while you’re actively trying  _ not _ to do that?” He said when Ben pouted against his palm. “It’s really not helpful.”

Ben shifted back a little to say, “okay, good point.” The movement was enough for him to slip free, his knot from earlier finally reduced enough for them to separate. 

“I know it’s important but now really isn’t the time.” Armitage repeated his point a different way as he watched Ben stretch his limbs and totter over the bin. Maybe if he said it enough he might believe it himself.

Ben was so beautiful like this.

His Alpha was covered in bite marks and scratches that he didn’t remember putting there. Part of him was a little worried about the gaps in his memory, but most of him was focused on the feeling of emptiness now his Mate wasn’t in him any more. He needed him again, and soon, but he didn’t want to put too much pressure on Ben, especially if he wasn’t sleeping.

As if reading his mind Ben retrieved a can of energy drink from a cooler by the door. He drank all of it in one before he pulled out a bottle of something isotonic and offered it to Armitage. 

“You need to hydrate,” Ben said, “and you never answered my question- how are you doing? Does the heat feel like it’s wearing off yet?”

“I’m not sure, though I suspect this might be my first lucid moment, so… maybe?” He took a sip and nearly cried at how good cold water felt in his mouth. It was tempting to drink it all at once but he didn’t want to risk getting sick so he stopped at half the bottle. “What do you think?”

“Yeah, pretty much every other interlude has been sleeping followed by you trying to sit on my cock before I can get a condom on.” The words were blunt but with a tolerant smile. Clearly Armitage had been a handful so far.

“Sorry. I don’t think I know what I’m doing most of the time.” 

Ben sat down awkwardly on the edge of the bed to rub Armitage’s belly. “It’s okay, we have an agreement that I am sticking to one hundred percent. Frankly though, I deserve some kind of self control medal. You’re so beautiful like this.”

Armitage blushed, pushing at the hair he knew was matted with sweat. 

“Flatterer,” he said fondly.

“I mean it, I love you so much.” 

Ben was looking at him with such outright adoration that Armitage felt like his heart was going to burst. It was too much in this moment to take entirely seriously.

“Well, I don’t have a medal but I can award you one kiss,” Armitage teased. 

As he laughed he reached out to give Ben his reward. Sitting up to do so was a shock. The slightest pressure on his hole had desire coursing through him again. It had been brewing for a while but this was like someone had activated the nitro on his libido. 

He moaned, only half embarrassed by the wanton sound of his own voice.

“Okay, needy boy,” Ben murmured against his neck as he immediately pulled Armitage close and began to rub soothing circles along his thigh. “I still need you to answer me, babe, okay? I’ll get right back to looking after you once I know you’re okay. Does anything hurt? Do you want to change positions? Do you need anything?”

“Need you,” He said on autopilot, then poured the rest of the water down his throat in the hope of quenching the rising fire for long enough to talk properly before he was a drooling begging ball of hormones again. “Nothing hurts, just aches here.” He rubbed at his stomach above his pelvic bone. “Have you ever tried to keep climbing the stairs even though you’ve reached the top step? So you lift your foot too high trying to reach a step that isn’t there? Feels like that.”

Ben nodded and bent in the middle to press an open mouthed kiss over Armitage’s fingers. “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about that. But I can take your mind off it for a while.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Breakfast on Saturday morning had an awkward start. Dopheld already had the girls in their highchairs and was trying to convince them of the merits of watery porridge when the two of them finally managed to stagger downstairs.

Ben was exhausted. If it weren’t for the ravenous hunger twisting his insides in knots he probably would have slept for a week. Armie seemed to be only a little better off - he’d slept more often but the heat had driven him to much greater extremes. At least half the time Ben hadn’t needed to do much more than sit quietly and let himself be ridden until Armie was something like satisfied.

After the last week Ben wouldn’t have swapped his designation for a million dollars. He could never manage being an Omega, it was hard enough being Mated to one.

He kept a steadying hand on Armie’s back until his Mate was safely sitting at the table, even if he was wincing with discomfort at the hard seat. Well, that’d take a few days to wear off too. 

At least Dopheld had cooked a decent spread for breakfast. Ben took half a loaf worth of toast while Armie reached for the bacon and eggs- something told Ben that his Mate needed the protein more than he did right now.

“Soooo… that was embarrassing.” Armie said at last. “Sorry about that, Dopheld.”

Their friend shrugged. “Could have been worse- at least you waited until we were home. The first night I had nightmares you’d gone into heat at Scotch Corner services, by the petrol pumps.” He gave a little shiver at his own weirdly specific dream. “I still haven’t seen you naked so that’s a bonus. I have seen  _ him  _ naked though so we’re halfway there.”

Ben blushed when Dopheld pointed a teasing finger at him. “Sorry. You really should have knocked, but thanks for the supplies.”

“I expected you to be asleep, but I’m glad you were being safe. I didn’t need to see the evidence but-“

There was a clatter of silverware as Armie covered his face with his hands. “Oh my god. What a mental image.”

Across the table Dopheld only laughed, first Kyla and then Benja copying the sound soon after.

“Mocked by my own family!” Ben cried melodramatically. He draped one hand over his forehead in an overblown gesture of woe so tragic that Armie joined in the laughter too.

For a moment Ben thought he saw an odd expression on Dopheld’s face after he stopped laughing, but it was hard to tell.

“Thanks for once again knowing my body better than I do,” Armie said when the girls quieted again. “I mean, I’m grateful, Dopheld, even if its a bit...”

“Creepy?” Dopheld finished for him. He dismissed the topic with a casual wave. “I’ve had that thing set up since Ben joined us- nothing in it was perishable, I just threw the ice in at the last minute. I grew up around Omegas, Armitage, I know you didn’t, but these are all things our community habitually did for one another.”

Seeing Armie’s grimace Ben chimed in, “I’m really grateful for your help, Dopheld, I don’t know how Omegas coped before there were suppressants.”

“Like this, we coped just like this,” Dopheld gestured at the house and everything around them. “The rise of the nuclear family was a disaster for Omegas, we lost almost all of our inbuilt supports. Before then - whether it was a harem, or an extended family, or a traditional pack- we found ways to support each other. Put a few Omegas in a home together and cycles synch up so no one is incapacitated at the same time as anyone else. Children were raised communally. Heats and nesting were accounted for naturally. It was better I think.”

“Well, you’ve been a godsend, Dopheld, thank you.” Ben said. He reached for the eggs as Armie pushed them away in favour of the toast. He’d heard about harems but after this week he didn’t really believe an Alpha could even run one and still get anything else done.

“Speaking of suppressants,” Armie mumbled, watching Kyla enthusiastically slap her hand into her porridge. “I want to go back on mine. I know you’re supposed to have two heats before you start, but I want to get it all set up so I can take the first pill as soon as the next heat ends. Ben, I love you with all my heart, but I don’t want to keep going through that if I can’t get pregnant in the process.”

Both Ben and Dopheld nodded. Having seen how frustrated and sore Armie had become by the end Ben fully supported his decision. His Mate looked pretty defeated right now, but it was for the best.

“We can talk to your Dr Massa once we get set up in a rental place.”

“Dr Massa?” Dopheld turned slightly in his seat to give Ben a confused look before he twisted around toward Armie instead. “You’re going back there? Really?”

“Professor Sloane offered me my place back,” Armie said. He shrugged helplessly, his usually skinny frame looking extra vulnerable in the pale morning light. “I know they treated me like shit, but walking straight back in is more appealing than applying to a lot of places who’ll ask questions about my so called ‘medical leave’. Plus we’ve found a house we like, so we’re thinking we’ll rent somewhere while we sort out buying it.”

Kyla giggled when Dopheld’s eyebrows shot up. “How much does modelling pay that you can afford to buy a house already?! Give me your agent’s number- I’ll take my clothes off too for a house!”

“Oh my god!”

“It’s not like that,” Ben laughed. “This is my life insurance, it’ll just set us up, keep us comfortable for a while.”

“Don’t you have to… you know…” Dopheld leaned forward to whisper. “ _ Die _ to get that?”

Armie chuckled. “Yeah, that’s his secret, he’s a vampire.”

The last slice of toast was already in Ben’s hands so he ripped it in two and pushed the pieces in front of his teeth to make long walrus-like fangs. “Blurgh! I am a wampire!!” He cried with his hands held up like claws.

To the girls it was the funniest thing in the world. They shrieked and giggled as they clapped their hands. Armie beamed at him. The last of the awkward atmosphere evaporated, leaving only the happy family life Ben had always dreamed of. It was perfect.

* * *

His milk was almost gone. He’d suspected it was drying up for a few weeks now- the girls were starting on solids and needing more formula than before- but after a week in heat without doing any feeding there was pretty much nothing in him. He hadn’t even thought about it until now, when neither baby had managed to get more than a mouthful out of him.

It was a weird sensation, suddenly not being able to provide for them this way.

Armitage had really wanted to give them the full six months that the books recommended, but there was nothing he could do about it. He should be happy- childcare arrangements would be much easier now that the girls weren’t dependant on him- instead the thought only left him feeling sad. 

He was still sitting on the couch with them, cuddling them against his chest for a minute before he put his shirt back on, when Millie ran into the room and leapt up onto his lap.

The cat meowed angrily at him, kneading his belly with barely withdrawn claws, apparently berating him for his two week absence from her life.

“Millicent, calm down, please,” he said to no avail. “Claws away please, missus.”

That instruction she did follow, turning in place instead to rub her cheeks firmly against his belly and hands and any other other parts of him that she could reach, though the angry wailing still continued.

“I think she heard me talking to Ben about whether we leave her here,” Dopheld said. He was carrying two cups of tea and a bag of cat treats that Millie took an immediate interest in.

“I think you’re overestimating her ability to understand English, but why would I leave my cat behind?”

As if to demonstrate the depth of their relationship, Millicent was almost bent over backwards with the effort of keeping the treats in sight while staying in his lap. Clearly he hadn’t been loved enough yet today.

“She’s yours? Sorry, I thought she came with the house, like the rabbits and chickens.”

Settling Benja down on the seat beside him Armitage fussed with Millie’s ears until she pushed her face up towards his for a kiss. She was his other baby and she knew it.

“I found her in the coop under that permanently broody chicken,” he explained, “and I’ve never seen any other cats on the property. She’s coming with us. I might ask if I can adopt a couple of the chickens too. There’ll be space for them if we can get that house.”

Dopheld sat neatly on the floor before he opened the bag of treats. Millicent was on him in an instant, Armitage forgotten in favour of food for now.

“Ben told me about the house,” Dopheld said quietly without looking up. “It sounds really nice.”

Armitage watched him carefully as he said, “There’s a little separate suite above the garage, like a granny flat or something. Handy for visitors, or maybe as a rental, if a student wanted to live there.”

“Ben said something similar.”

“I know you value your independence, so I don’t want you to think…”

“I missed you all when you were in London,” Dopheld cut in before Armitage could fumble anymore of that sentence. “I wasn’t expecting that. I thought I’d enjoy having the place to myself but I kept checking the girls room in the night. So, if I could visit sometimes or, maybe, I don’t know, transfer back…” 

He sounded so uncertain of himself.

Determined to cut to the heart of the matter Armitage sat forward and said firmly, “If you want to come with us you’re more than welcome.”

“Really?”

Armitage took a moment to rearrange the girls on the floor where they could roll and play together while he drank his tea.

“Really.” He said at last. “We actually looked at houses in Edinburgh, well I did, but they’re expensive, and I’m not sure I want another Scottish winter. Thanisson is still there. We all know people there. And we genuinely don’t expect anything from you ‘Pheld, if you just wanted to live in the house and hang out occasionally that’d be just as good. But if you  _ could _ help us, well, Ben’s going to be away a lot. No rent. Either way.”

Dopheld gave him a look. “Of course I’d pay you rent.” 

“Okay.” Armitage smiled. “If you insist. First things first though, we need a plan for moving again.”

* * *

The rental had a king sized bed. After half a week apart it felt amazing to lie so comfortably between Armie’s legs again.

“We need one of these for the new house,” Ben rumbled against his Mate’s chest. “I’ve gotten used to it, all smaller beds are dead to me now.”

Armie laughed and stroked his hair. This too was amazing. Perfect. Wonderful. 

He smelled so good. Ben turned to press his nose into the dip of Armie’s sternum and sniffed deeply. 

“You smell like heaven,” he said. It sounded like hyperbole but it wasn’t. Ever since he’d stepped through the front door Ben had felt like he was floating. He was in another plane of existence. Paradise was here in his arms.

He snorted. 

His Armie’s arms. 

He giggled.

Armie poked him in the ribs.

“I’m serious,” Ben said. “Every time I breathe in you smell better and better. The shirt I took to Manchester with me smelled good but being back with you is ten times more amazing.”

“Hmmm yeah, fresh sweat versus stale, there’s no contest,” Armie murmured lazily. 

He’d been alone for three days with the girls- sorting out the first steps in buying the house and getting ready to return to the university- so he was probably too tired for Ben’s nonsense, but the smile in his voice was enough.

Being properly away from his Mate for the first time had been a trial, but he’d managed himself well during the photo shoots and now he had his reward.

“It’s not just that,” Ben said, wriggling down to sniff along his belly and towards Armie’s thighs. “I swear everytime I’m with you my heart rate settles a little fast. Because I know I’m home. I wish I could wrap you up in my pocket and take you with me.”

Armie rolled his eyes, but whether it was pleasure or irritation he couldn’t tell.

“I love you, you sentimental fool.”

* * *

“Excuse me, are you lost?” A familiar voice said by Armitage’s shoulder.

He forced himself to remain dignified, even if the thought of looking Tiaan Jerjerrod in the eye made him feel vaguely ill. Thank god the girls were with Ben for the morning.

“No, I have a meeting with Rae Sloane,” Armitage replied.

“Oh, Mr Solo?” Tiaan said before he’d turned around. “Yes, of course, we’ve all been looking forward to… meeting… you. Oh.”

Armitage held his hand out with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“It’s good to see you again, Tiaan, how have you been?”

Such a shame he didn’t have a camera with him. Ben would have taken great delight in the look on Tiaan’s face. 

He knew he was being petty, but Armitage was going to make the most of it.

* * *

Being back in his old university town had brought some strange feelings to the front of Ben’s mind, so when Armie had gotten home he’d asked for the chance to take a walk by himself.

A walk had turned into a run, and now Ben had somehow ended up in the foyer of a nearby gym. 

Finding a new home for his exercise regime had always been on the cards. Apparently his subconscious wanted him to deal with it sooner rather than later. The photographer in Manchester had been happy with his physique but it needed maintenance, and running past the pitches he’d trained on before he almost died had certainly made him miss the endorphin rush of a good workout.

He’d done some individual classes here in the past, and worked with a few of the resident trainers, but he’d never been a member. When he’d been part of multiple university sports teams the campus gym had been free.

Now he needed somewhere new, if only he could get the attention of a member of staff.

“If you want a tour you’re welcome to use my guest pass for this month,” a voice said by Ben’s shoulder as he looked through the gym’s brochure. He turned to find the blond fiancé of Armie’s friend standing behind him. With his shirt off they were evenly matched for muscles.

Unfortunately Ben couldn’t remember his name. He did remember being pretty fucking angry with this guy though. 

He turned back to the counter.

“You look like you work out- you’d be paying £40 for the tour just to be told shit you already know,” the man went on.

Wasn’t he a Beta? He was getting Ben’s hackles up like a pushy Alpha but Ben was sure he’d made a point of being a Beta. Either way he was annoying.

“I get it.” The man said, clearly not getting it. “You’re still mad. But you’d have wanted me to do the same if if was anyone else looking for your Mate and kids. Thanisson says you found them in the end. He’s looking forward to seeing Armitage again.”

“Why kind of first name is ‘Thanisson’ anyway?” Ben said, mostly to himself. It was true that Armie had written to the other Omega while they were in London, and Armie didn’t hold any of what happened against him and his annoying Beta fiancé. But that didn’t mean Ben had to forgive them.

“It’s a secret,” the man said. “Seriously though. Let me do this to make it up to you.”

“Fine,” Ben snapped. There was no one at the reception desk anyway, and Armie  _ was _ planning to make these people part of their life when they settled here permanently.  He should try to be responsible and make peace with him. “What’s your name again?”

“Matt. Do you prefer Kylo or Ben?”

“I’m only Kylo at work.” Ben said as he followed Matt into the main hall of the gym. Three guys waved at him from the treadmills- he’d played rugby with them. Someone else he used to fence with nodded to him from one of the rowing machines.

“Oh, like a stage name,” Matt said. “Does it pay well? The modelling?”

“Does for me, not everyone is so lucky. What do you do? I don’t think I ever saw you around campus?” Of course Ben knew that dating a student didn’t make someone a student, and Armie had referred to this guy as Thanisson’s ‘sugar daddy’ more than once.

“Overhead line engineer,” seeing his blank expression Matt pointed upwards while he clarified, “I work on electricity pylons. The pay is great because most people don’t want to be one hundred and fifty feet in the air next to four hundred kilovolts.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re still spending a lot replacement underpants though,” Ben’s brain said of its own accord. Someone familiar was coming towards him with her hands outstretched.

“Ben Solo?!” The tiny old woman hurrying between the machines was smiling at him delightedly. She’d coached his MMA efforts last year. He hadn’t had a chance to tell her in person that he was leaving. “You’re not dead?!”

“No Maz, not dead. I’m in remission. And I’m Mated now, with twin girls.”

He couldn’t hold back his grin. He could never go back to the exact life he’d had before, but it was good to see that so much he thought he’d lost was still here. 

* * *

The house was perfect. Even better than Armitage had expected from the online listing.

It was old, and the furnishings were very tired, but the building had great bones. Everything had been well maintained. The period features in his future study and the lounge were beautiful, and where things had needed replacing the previous owner had gone for top of the line items every time. The windows were a decade old but they looked like new, the kitchen was beautifully built, the bathrooms had surprisingly modern fittings. 

They’d almost be able to move straight in. Once it was bought anyway. 

Who knew buying a house would be so difficult? Even though they were pay cash there was still surveys and endless reams of paperwork. 

Armitage wandered through the upper floor of the house, peering into bedrooms while the estate agent talked Ben through some detail or other. 

This room to the left of the master bedroom would be ideal for the twins- it was perfectly symmetrical with two of everything. Armie wasn’t the kind of parent to dress twins in identical clothes or make a big fuss about their connection, but they refused to sleep apart so this would be ideal.

The room to the right of the master bedroom made his belly ache. Well, it had been doing that at a low level ever since his heat, but the space made him so much more aware of the sensation. He put his hand over the emptiness and rubbed in small circles like the gesture could give any relief.

“Hey,” Ben murmured as he stepped up beside him. He was carrying both girls in their slings but he made an awkward attempt to wrap an arm around Armitage’s waist. “Is this the nursery?”

The room was small and painted a soft warm shade of brown. A little border of Winnie the Pooh characters danced along the top of walls. There was no furniture but Armitage could so clearly see a cot and a comfortable chair in his mind’s eye. His heart felt strange.

“It will be.”

Ben nodded and shifted enough to rest his head on Armitage’s shoulder. He could hear him breathing deeply but before he could complain about being sniffed the estate agent interrupted.

“You’re an Omega, aren’t you, Sir?” She asked. Her tone was oddly formal, in that way Betas had sometimes when they spoke to other designations.

“Yes?”

“There’s a room you might like to see, upstairs,” she said, waving them towards a door that Armitage had expected to lead to an airing cupboard. “When these houses were built in the 1930s they all had a standard plan, so anyone could live here. Most people on the estate used these rooms as attics, as this one had been used, but it was designed to function as a uh nesting room.”

Armitage hadn’t been expecting that. Not in a modern building at least. He’d seen so many ‘how to nest in a one bedroom apartment’ articles online that he’d already started planning how he could make one of the other bedrooms livable. This house was getting more and more ideal.

The room had definitely never been used as attested by the thick layer of dust and a few hundred spiders, but it had the right shape. There was no bed but he could commission one. They could afford it.

He sat on the floor in complete disregard for his jeans and closed his eyes. The image of curling up in this space with a prominent bump and Ben’s scent everywhere came as easily as the nursery had done. If Ben would be working away a lot then he’d need this space.

His hand drifted back to his belly.

As if to mock him his stomach rumbled.

Ben hadn’t followed Armitage upstairs- he didn’t want to expose the girls to too much dust, and he knew Armitage would want to see the space on his own- but right on time he called, “Don’t get too comfy up there! I’m starving!”

Leaving his daydreams behind Armitage headed dutifully to the stairs. 

Maybe he could persuade Ben to walk home past the McDonalds. He had a craving for nuggets and milkshake. The girls were probably too little for Happy Meals yet but they’d probably happily gum at some fries.

Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter but...

Somethings never change, and Sunday night Sci-Fi & Fantasy Society meetings were one of those things. 

Most university societies had a steady turn over of members as people graduated and new people joined, but the SF&F Society had more ‘associate’ members than actual students. At least one guy had been around since the early 90s- he’d stayed in the city after graduation and maintained his membership ever since. 

Ben had thought that a bit strange once, but now it was reassuring. No one would mind him following Armie into the student union because half the people here weren’t students anymore either.

Armie weaved confidently through the crowd, heading for the committee’s table. The actual official part of the meeting was over already, all the various interest groups already splitting off for their weekly games, or planning sessions for upcoming LARP events, but the committee were still seated. 

“How do I go about becoming a member again?” Armie said to the back of a woman with dark fly-away hair.

“You just pay the… holy  _ fuck _ ARMITAGE!!” Rose jumped out of her seat with a shriek and threw her arms around Armie, who definitely wasn’t expecting a reaction of that magnitude. “Oh my god, we thought you were dead!! I came back from from my research assignment to a bunch of old emails looking for you and fucking Tiaan Jerjerrod making snide remarks, we had no idea what the fuck was going on!! Did Ben find you? Is he okay? What happened with the cancer?!”

In the end Armie had to grab her arms and physically turn her to face Ben.

“Oh my holy… Ben got built! Wow! Wait, is that a  _ baby _ ?” 

Several chairs scrapped around at that and the conversation level in the whole room dropped. Realising she was the centre of attention Kyla waved and clapped her hands. 

“What’s better than one cute baby?” Ben asked with a grin, then turned so that Benja was facing Rose. “Boom! Two cute babies!!”

“What the fu- shit- oh my god, sorry I shouldn’t swear in front of them, should I?” Rose said sheepishly, as she stepped forward to touch Benja’s hand. “Oh my god, Ben, are they yours?”

Armie was brimming with pride when he said, “They’re ours.”  

“Oh my god.” Rose said again. Benja was trying to eat her hair, and Ben would have to do something about it sooner or later, but for now he was content to enjoy the cuteness. 

Rose’s girlfriend Kaydel had wandered over too, and was smiling softly from outside the radius of sticky baby fingers. “Congrats! Are you two uh… sorry, I forgot the word.”

“Yeah, we’re Mated now,” Armie replied. 

He seemed completely relaxed, something Ben had rarely seen from him, but perhaps the positive reactions so far were helping him. They were certainly helping Ben. Someone he’d known from LARP joined them, cooing over Kyla, but Ben only had ears for his Mate right now.

“We’re buying a house nearby,” Armie was saying, “and I’ll be back in the engineering department full time at beginning of next term, so we wanted to get back into the community here. Maybe host some D&D games.”

“Ooh is Techie going to be Dungeon Master is his own home now?” DJ teased from a nearby table. 

“No, I don’t want to wrangle you troublemakers,” Armie laughed, “I’ve already got two kids!”

Ben kinda resented that DJ had never even emailed him back, but they’d never been close friends, just party members on the same campaign.

“What about you, Daddy Muscles, are you coming back?” Rose asked. Behind her Kaydel covered her face and muttered ‘I can’t believe you called him that’ but Rose just kept on grinning.

“Nah,” Ben grinned back, “I’m taking a break from school, got me a job.” 

“Oh? Cool! Where you working?”

It took an supreme effort of will to smooth his features as he said, “You know the Tesco outside of town?” When she nodded, clearly expecting him to name some retail position, he went on, “next time you go by there take a look at the big billboard opposite, see if you recognise anything.”

Rose just looked confused but after a second Kaydel said, “What? The one with the new Resist Perfume advertising campaign with the big muscly topless Alpha… oooooh…”

Ben held his arms out, then flexed dramatically, winking at Armie when he growled low in his throat. His Mate was smiling though, so it was probably fine.

“Yep, that’s right,” Armie laughed, “I got myself a model.”

With that someone else stepped in to congratulate them and they were soon seated at a table of their own, a baby on each lap, practically holding court as they reconnected with their friends. 

Surprisingly no one asked about the circumstances around the twins, but Ben suspected that it had something to fo with the combination of his illness and whatever mess Tiaan had made. Either way he was grateful. He loved his family, but there was no reason for everyone to know what kind of trauma they’d all gone through.

* * *

Dopheld sat at the kitchen table with his hands neatly folded in his lap and tried not to show the concern his was feeling for the friend sitting opposite.

Thanisson was still his usual prickly self. He wouldn’t take kindly to knowing anyone was worrying about him, even if he was shiny with sweat and more than a little greyfaced. 

At least they had a distraction in the form of Millicent the cat getting reacquainted with Matt. Currently she was standing on the kitchen counter with her tail fluffed up like an angry bottle brush, while Matt held her gaze in a staring contest that could have ended worlds. 

Perhaps agreeing to stay here for the last few days before the house was ready had been a mistake. Not that he could have found anywhere for such a short time that would be willing to take in a cat.

Millie finally broke eye contact. There was a treat in Matt’s hand. She was confused. He held out his  _ other _ hand. The cat stared at it.

“Shake.”

“I don’t think cats can learn those kinds of tricks, babe,” Thanisson said drily as Millicent leapt for the hand with the treat. He winced a little when Matt received a slap for pulling it away. “Come on, babe, give it up.”

He turned back to Dopheld with dark ringed eyes and gave him the closest he’d ever get to an apologetic look. 

“Well, he’s made things up with Kylo so I guess he has to piss off the cat to make things even again,” he said.

It took Dopheld a moment to remember that Ben  _ was _ Kylo. He never heard him using that name, but Thanisson was the sort to read the magazines his modelling persona appeared in.

“Oh, yes, I heard,” Dopheld replied. He hoped his expression wasn’t too awkward. “Ben said he, uh, talked about work and bodybuilding a lot.”

“Yeah, that’s how he thinks Alphas talk. I think he’s feeling a bit insecure.” Suddenly Thanisson leant forward and whispered. “We’re in a medical trial.”

Well, that explained the glazed look in his eyes. “Oh? What for?”

“If it all goes to plan we’re going to be the first male Beta/Omega couple to conceive.” The words tumbled out in a rush, and Dopheld got the feeling that he might well be the first person Thanisson had actually told. 

“Oh, wow, good luck!” He replied, biting his tongue about Thanisson’s caustic personality. Apparently he didn’t school his expression very well.

“I know, it seems unlikely, right?” Thanisson laughed. It came out a little strange. “Sorry, I’m taking some crazy meds at the moment. To help. With the… babymaking. Soon. Don’t worry, not while your here. You know, I grew up with Betas and I thought I didn’t want this. Then I found this gorgeous goofball, and part of me thought- what if.”

He twisted in his seat to watch Matt with a fond smile that turned to delight when Millicent successfully shook hands for a treat. 

“Then we visited Armie in Scotland and… holy shit, ‘Pheld, I don’t know how you can be around that and not want it for yourself. I get that it’s not for you, but, it’s all I’ve been able to think about for months.” He rubbed a hand along his neck distractedly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dopheld said. He reached out to touch Thanisson’s hand, thought twice about doing it, then decided to go with his first instinct. The hand under his was shaking. “I get it. Insofar as I  _ can _ get it. You know I’m not just dropping off their cat, right?”

Thanisson nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been wondering about that. But I’m trying to get out of the gossip game.”

“I don’t believe you.” He chuckled. “No, that’s not true, I do believe you. I guess I’m coming at this from the other side. I grew up with classic Alpha/Omega parents. Do you know how many siblings I have? Dad’s pregnant with number twenty as we speak. I love them, they’re my family. But I was oldest, and I’m Omega. Helping to care for them was expected, and sometimes… I didn’t feel like a child, right? I felt like another parent.”

“I was a ‘young carer’,” Matt said suddenly, referring to the official name for children who looked after sick parents. When Dopheld looked up at him he had Millie draped over his shoulders like a scarf. “Before mum remarried. I know what you mean.”

Dopheld gave him a sympathetic smile. It was good to be understood.

“Well, I thought I didn’t want to live that life as an adult either, and I guess I still don’t- I didn’t choose my siblings. That’s my old family, the one I should have had the chance to be a kid in. But Armie, and Ben, and the girls- being part of that  _ is _ a choice I made. They need me but they don’t act like they’re entitled to me.”

“It’s a family without the romance. Not everyone needs romance or sex to find love. You just need love.” 

Both Thanisson and Dopheld looked at Matt in surprise. 

“What?”

“That’s really poetic.”

Matt shrugged. “I’m allowed to have deep thoughts you know.”

* * *

Armitage paused in the act of drying his hair to watch his Mate and their daughters playing together in the middle of the big bed.

Neither of them had mastered crawling yet, but through a mixture of tickling, encouragement, and sibling rivalry Ben had managed to get both girls up onto their hands and knees unaided. 

They were so small- though already so much bigger than when they born- and Ben was so massive, but somehow they looked completely right together. Ben was only in his jeans still, waiting for Armitage to be ready before he finished dressing for the day, and there was something primal and comforting about watching his muscles shift as he helped the twins.

So much strength focused on raising their babies, it was perfect.

“Hey, Armie, you’re drooling.”

He blinked, blushing as he automatically brought his hand up to his mouth. There had definitely been a greater than zero chance that he actually was drooling.

“I love you.” He said it without thinking, but meant it. 

Ben held out one of the arms Armitage had just been admiring, and pulled him into a sideway hug. He was still in his boxers and socks, so Ben’s arm was hot around his middle where his fingers sank slightly into the still soft skin. The contact made his nerves fizz pleasantly, though Ben immediately ruined it by pressing his cold nose to the hollow just below his ribs.

“Mmmm, love you too. How do you smell so amazing?” Ben sighed. He breathed deeply for a minute before he sat up and slapped Armitage gently on the backside. “Get your butt dressed or we’ll never get breakfast.”

He stuck his tongue out at him, but did as he was told anyway.

Today was going to be a big day- once they got the call to say the money was transferred they’d be picking up the keys their new home. They couldn’t move in straight away- there was a lot of furniture left to buy yet but they’d finally be in the last stretch of getting sorted out. 

It was almost April. Two months had felt like a thousand years.

* * *

The hallway and the living room looked like an explosion in an IKEA warehouse. There were boxes and odd pieces of furniture piled up everywhere.

Ordering everything to be delivered on the same day had seemed like a good idea at the time, but clearly this was madness.

At least Armie was organised. He had a clipboard, and several itemised lists. And something that looked worryingly like one of his old D&D battle plans. Actually, that description wasn’t far off. 

He’d planned the day with military precision. 

Step one- get the girls room secure with a baby-gate, playmat, and monitor. They were now safe so all three adults could focus on building furniture.

Step two- work through everything else in order of size- wardrobes, then bedroom cabinets, then beds, then sofas. Armie actually had this stage broken down even further, into dozens of smaller steps, but after the first few bouts of micromanaging it was decided he’d retire that past of the plan. 

Step three was supposed to be lunch, but their meal was interrupted by the beeping of Armie’s phone.

“What?” He said to himself as he checked the reminder. Then, he threw his sandwich down with a sigh. “Oh, fucking hell. I completely forgot. Ben- I’ve got that Omega health appointment in half a hour. You know, the one you wanted to come along to. Dammit.”

Dopheld looked up and glanced between them with an odd expression. He’d seemed strangely giddy ever since he arrived, though he’d blamed it on the smell of the house that had been unlived in for so long. “Health appointment?”

“Yeah, I wanted to sort out my suppressants before my next heat.” Armie sighed. “Which’ll probably be next week.”

“You guys go, I’m fine to stay here with the girls until you get back.” Dopheld said emphatically. “An hour or two won’t make a difference, we’re not in a rush. Just… call me if anything comes up, okay?”

Ben wanted to ask what he meant, but they needed to leave now if they were going to arrive on time.

* * *

“Welcome back!” Dr Massa smiled brightly as Armitage pushed open the office door.

It was strange how a space he hadn’t been in for nearly a year could automatically feel safe, but he found himself relaxing before he’d even taken a seat at the desk. 

Ben on the other hand didn’t seem quite as comfortable, like he couldn’t decide where to look. There were a lot of explicit posters about Omega biology on the walls, as well as scale models and teaching aids scattered about the place. He’d been doing a lot of reading, but seeing that kind of thing in three dimensions could put anyone off.

“It’s good to see you looking so well,” Dr Massa said, shaking their hands. “And your Alpha too, I was very glad to hear of your recovery. Leukemia wasn’t it?”

Ben nodded. “Yes, I had a bone marrow transplant.”

The specialist made a note in the margin of Armitage’s file before he turned to him. 

“So, what can I do for you?”

“I uh… I want to go back on suppressants,” Armitage said. Beside him Ben took his hand. “The girls are doing well, but we think we’d be better off waiting a while before we add to our family. There’s a lot of settling back in to do, and Ben travels a lot.”

Dr Massa stood and gestured Armitage over to the examination table. 

“Okay, that should be fine, the majority of Omegas choose to do that these days.” He said collecting a few items from the drawers by his desk. “I need to do a couple of health checks and an examination - some suppressants can be associated with health issues after long term use, so its best to be sure before putting you back on your old brand.”

Ben stayed in his seat but turned to watch as Armitage peeled his shirt off and hopped up on to the table. None of this was inherently frightening but he knew that having Ben close by would help with keeping his blood pressure down. Magical Alpha powers and all that.

As the doctor went through the routine of checking a number of things Armitage didn’t entirely understand he continued asking questions, apparently multitasking his note taking in a barely legible way. Hopefully the doctor would know what it all meant afterwards.

“You had no complications after the birth?”

“No, I delivered them on my own and called the local midwife in the morning, they said everything looked fine for me so I didn’t really have any other check ups.”

“No fainting, low blood sugar, forgetfulness?”

“Other than the usual exhaustion from twins, no.”

“Have you have a heat yet?”

“Yes, about three weeks ago,” Armitage said, settling back on the bed when Dr Massa indicated he should do so. “It’s one of the things that made us sure we wanted to go on suppressants. I can’t afford to lose a week every month, Ben might not always be here, and the temptation…”

The specialist laughed as he set up the ultrasound. “I know that feeling. Now, this is just to check that everything has gone back to where it should be, and that there’s no signs of any abnormalities. Did you use protection for your heat?”

Armitage shuddered at the cold gel on his belly. The sensation brought back strong sense memories.

“Yes,” Ben said. “I made sure of that. My sperm count is only about 20% of normal at the moment but we wanted to be safe.”

“Okay,” Dr Massa hummed and nodded to himself while the wand drifted over Armitage’s belly. “Any unprotected sex before that?”

“Uh, just once when we,” Armitage waved at his claim mark that still glowed pink against his pale skin, “but that was four weeks before I had my heat.”

“And how would you feel if that Mating had resulted in a pregnancy?” Dr Massa said after a pause. “I know you’ve just said you don’t feel it’s the right time…”

Armitage glanced at Ben who nodded. “It would have been a surprise but we both agreed we would have welcomed it. Obviously I’ve had a heat since then so-”

Dr Massa reached up to the screen and turned it around to face them.

“Biology is an amazing thing,” he murmured gently.

“What is that? Why is it  _ flashing _ ?” Ben asked, apparently slow on the uptake. He’d stood up to get a better view of the small bean shaped object on the screen. At the centre of it a tiny red light pulsed.

“But I had a heat.” Armitage said. He felt like he was floating. 

“That would be the beating of a very newly formed heart, Mr Solo,” Dr Massa said to Ben. “20% was still enough.”

“But I  _ had _ a  _ heat _ ,” Armitage repeated.

“And if you hadn’t used protection there’s a chance you’d be looking at multiples right now. It’s not entirely uncommon for recently pregnant Omegas to conceive twice a few weeks apart- the hormones that tell your body to stop releasing eggs aren’t always strong enough. Omega pregnancies run long so having twins or triplets at different developmental stages isn’t usually a risk.”

“But that’s not actually the case for us? There’s only one baby in there?” Ben asked. He’d taken Armitage’s hand again. He seemed unable to look away from the screen but he didn’t sound like more than one would be a bad thing. 

There was a pause as Dr Massa drew the wand around the sides and higher up Armitage’s belly that usual as if a second fetus might be playing hide and seek with them, like Kyla had the first time around. Finally he came back to his starting point.

“Definitely just the one as far as I can see,” He said, then knocked on the desk. “Touch wood. You’d likely know if your condoms had failed but I can check again in a few weeks if you like. This one is about the size of a raspberry so you can imagine how small a baby less than half its age would be.”

Armitage took a deep breath. 

Not that the screen was off Ben was looking at him with searching eyes. He had his lips pressed together so tight to suppress his expression that they were white. 

“Armie?” He prompted gently.

Armitage couldn’t hold the smile back any longer. It was like the sun coming out across his soul. He felt warm all over and when Ben met his expression with a wide smile of his own, floating turned to soaring.

“Ben Solo, you’re gonna be a dad.” He’d wanted to say that in person for so damn long. “Again.”

Instead of replying Ben just kissed him.

After a minute or so Dr Massa coughed behind them. 

“I don’t want to be a spoilsport but I do have another appointment in a couple of minutes.” He said as he returned to his computer. “I’ll make you a proper appointment for the twelve week mark, there’s more tests to do at that stage. In the meantime try to use protection if you start to feel heat like symptoms over the next few weeks, and be sure to eat something- I won’t have you coming back looking like a skeleton again.”

“I promise I’ll keep him fed,” Ben said.

Armitage made a rude gesture, but it was lost in the process of pulling his shirt back on. “I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself, thank you.”

“Oh I know. But this’ll be more fun.” Ben leaned down to whisper in his ear as he led him out of the room with a supportive hand on his lower back. “I can think of lots of ways to make it fun.”

“You’re terrible.” Armitage said, though he leaned fondly against his Mate anyway.

He couldn’t stop smiling, and the feeling of soaring hadn’t faded in the slightest.

They were barely out the door when Ben grabbed his arse and hauled him up. His legs wrapped around Ben’s waist of their own accord, and his arms were around his neck, and his whole world was this Alpha. His perfect Mate. The kiss seemed to go on forever. 

But even Ben had to put him down in the end. 

Ben didn’t let him go though. He kept one arm around Armitage’s waist and the other hand on his belly most of the way off campus back towards the house.

His phone buzzed.

**Dopheld Mitaka:** Well?

“Do you think he knows?” Ben asked. “Somehow?”

“Well, he hasn’t seen us in what, three weeks?” Armitage stared off into the distance, trusting his Alpha to keep them on the pavement. “And you keep saying my scent has changed. He was around me a few times when I was pregnant so if he was paying attention…”

Ben snorted. “More attention than we’ve been paying.”

“Hey, eight weeks is pretty early.” Armitage said. He elbowed him, but gently.

“If you say so, darling,” Ben didn’t sound all that convinced, but he turned back to his phone anyway. “So, what do I say?”

Armitage had stopped. They were outside a familiar shop. Sixteen months ago they’d stopped off here to buy booze on the way back from getting the worst news of their life. 

“Just send him the baby emoji,” he said, “Come on.”

Ben glanced up. “What? Why are we going in here?”

“I’m going to buy that lottery ticket.”


	15. Chapter 15

Ben woke with a groan. Everything ached. He’d spent the night dreaming of the IKEA instructions character shouting orders at him in symbol form.

He probably shouldn’t have stayed up until 2am building furniture. Still, it had been worth it to be able to sleep in _their_ new home instead of the rental.

After a good stretch he rolled over to Armie’s side of the bed, his knees slotting neatly behind his Mate’s and his arm automatically slipping around his waist. Absolutely worth it.

“Mmm morning…” Armie mumbled. His hair looked like a birds nest as he snuggled further down into the pillow. It was adorable.

Ben couldn’t help smiling. “Hi. You’re pregnant.”

For just an instant Armie froze like he was holding his breath, then relaxed.

“So I am,” he replied, and laced their fingers together so he could pull Ben’s hand down over his belly. “Are you going to remind me every day?”

“Maybe,” Ben said against his neck. He smelled wonderful. Now that he knew what it meant Ben just couldn’t stay away from that delicious scent. “At least until it’s obvious anyway.”

Armie chuckled so low that Ben almost didn’t hear it. “That might be a while yet, I don’t know what I’ll look like with a single instead of twins…”

Ben didn’t know either, but he could picture it. The photos Armie had taken during his pregnancy were etched into Ben’s brain. Seeing it in real life though. The growing swell of his belly, the changes in his gait, the movement inside…

“You’re imagining it, aren’t you?” Armie asked coyly, and shifted his hips back against Ben’s growing erection.

He moaned at the sensation of his clothed length pressed into the crack of Armie’s ass. The sound ended the growl he hadn’t even realised he’d been making.

“Yeah… you’re gonna be so beautiful…”

“So I’m not beautiful _now_?”

Ben could hear the smirk in the question, and chose to lick over Armie’s claim mark rather than answer. The distract worked just as he’d hoped. Armie moaned and arched his hips, clearly caught between wanting Ben’s cock inside him or Ben’s hand around his own length.

“Roll over.” The words were meant to be gentle encouragement but came out almost like an order.

If Armie noticed he didn’t care- he wriggled around in Ben’s arms easily enough and snuggled in close to his chest, long legs tangling together with his Mate’s.

“Well?” He asked, nose-to-nose with Ben now. “What now? Thought you were gonna fuck me then, break in this bed…”

Ben slid his fingers under the elastic of Armie’s boxers to trace back and forth before he tugged them down. The fabric at the back was dry but there were spots of wetness at the front. Maybe Armie appreciated the thought of how he was going to change as much as Ben did.

“Mmmmm… no….” Ben said as he let his fingertips flutter up along Armie’s length until he wrapped his palm over the head, triggering a pulse of precome into his hand. “Condoms are just… I’m feelin’ lazy…” He sighed as he awkwardly pulled his own cock from this briefs with his free hand and flexed his hips forward. “Just wanna lay here with you and feel good.”

Despite the size difference they slotted together perfectly in his fist, the head of Armie’s cock resting just above Ben’s knot and Ben’s slit leaking against Armie’s belly.

It was Armie that moved first, his hips shifting in slow almost imperceptible circles while his arms found their way around Ben’s shoulders.

“I’m always in favour of feeling good,” Armie murmured. His fingers were twisting languidly into Ben’s hair. “You know I’m gonna get needy, right? Second trimester I’m gonna want you inside me at every opportunity.”

Ben whined and did his best to move closer.

“And the bigger I get the more I’m gonna have to ride you,” Armie’s voice was thick as his movements became proper thrusts. “Fuck, it nearly killed me not having you with me all those months when I needed you. You better make it up to me this time, Ben Solo.”

“I’ll fuck you three times a day if that’s what you want.”

Armie snorted. “Don’t write cheques your dick can’t cash.”

Any sting in his words was softened by his desperate panting. He was already so close.

Ben claimed his mouth, tongue easily parting those plump lips, and in the distraction he rolled them until he was kneeling with Armie beneath him. His thighs were spread wide. It would be so easy to grab the lube and slip into him…

Shaking his head against the temptation Ben adjusted his grip around their cocks, grinning as Armie bucked his hips, tongue caught between his teeth and eyes barely focused.

“Don’t you doubt me.” He could feel the pleasure building at the edge of his mind, but he was determined to make Armie come first. “I swear I’m gonna keep you blissed out and covered in cum the whole ten months.”

The sound Armie made was almost a purr, something so joyful and satisfied it made Ben’s toes curl. He’d done that. He’d done all of this. He felt so proud. He was a good Alpha, making his Mate so happy, giving him another baby despite everything.

His hips were snapping now, rocking Armie up against the pillows as he fucked into his hand and against his Mate’s hot little length. Precome was flowing freely from both of them, balls tight where they met, and Ben was barely hanging on.

“You know,” Armie panted, “you know how people take bump pictures? Once a week? To see how they’re growing?” He tugged Ben down by his hair to whisper in his ear. “You should cum across me and take a photo, every week.”

It was such a filthy image, and oh, the possibilities. Ben came to the vision of Armie lying beneath him huge, and full, and streaked with white.

Armie followed after, gasping as he was painted clear to his chin with spurts of his Alpha’s cum.

“Perfect. Now you’re beautiful.” Ben murmured, leaning back on shaking limbs to admire his work.

His Mate really did look stunning like this, flushed pink and watching him from under drowsy eyelashes.

Ben grabbed his phone to snap a picture- he got one of Armie’s contented expression and then three of Armie looking shocked as he reached for the phone.

“I didn’t think you’d really do it!!” He tried to snatch the phone but Ben easily held it out of reach.

“I’ll password protect them, but I’m gonna do it.” Ben said, wagging his finger to emphasize his point and knowing that Armie was smirking because his dick was bouncing along with it. “I’m serious. Every week that I’m here, and if I’m not here I want _you_ to take some for me. I’m gonna need something to get me through being away.”

“Awww sweetheart, I’d give you a hug, but I’m all covered in cum. I don’t really want to sit up, it’ll go all over the sheets.” Armie said with a deliberate wriggle, arching his back to present his body to Ben to its best effect. “Won’t you help me?”

Ben immediately swooped down to lick him from pubic hair to throat in one long movement. It was dizzying how good it was, Armie’s perfect scent mingled with the taste of himself.

“Mmmm…” Armie sighed, running his hands through Ben’s hair to direct his efforts. “Oh that feels good. I hate thinking about you being away. I’d rather have this forever.”

Ben paused in licking his way around one of Armie’s nipple to murmur “Me too.” He smiled when Armie nudged him back to his work.

“There are some things we should do before you go anywhere though,” Armie went on, “now that the house is legally ours I mean. We probably should have done it first but securing this place was more important.”

This time Ben just nodded to show he was listening.

“We should register as Mates and get my name changed legally. I’d rather have Solo on my ID and passport than have to carry the girls birth certificates around. I want that paper to prove you’re mine when you’re not here.”

Ben showed his support for that idea by cleaning Armie’s cock with gentle kitten licks that soon had his Mate writhing and thickening up again.

“Ah, damn it Ben, we’re never going to make it out of bed at this rate!”

“So?” Ben said with a wicked grin. “Stop me.” He finished the sentence by taking Armie’s whole cock into his mouth.

He couldn’t hold back the pleased moan when Armie tangled his fingers into his hair and held him down instead of making him stop. Ben had work out of town again in two days but he was going to do his best for his Omega in the meantime.

* * *

Armitage hadn’t planned anything big when he researched the registration process- formal ceremonies and room rental cost far too much when they could just sign the papers with the clerks as witnesses. Still he’d taken the time to ask Dopheld to stand as a witness for them- he was part of their family unit in a way, so it felt right to include him.

With less than twenty four hours notice that they were going down to the registry office he hadn’t expected Dopheld to do much more than find his own paperwork out of his cases, but when they arrived Armitage was very glad he and Ben had dressed up for the occasion.

They stepped out of the taxi- Ben in his Burberry suit, Armitage in the Armani he’d been bought for his first graduation, and the girls in matching copper dresses- to find that Dopheld had somehow obtained a professional photographer.

“If you’d given me a week I’m sure I could have gotten everyone here,” he said as he hurried over with two tiny bouquets and a pair of traditional flower crowns.

“Dopheld, the girls won’t hold those! At best they’re going to eat them!” Armitage protested, though he was impressed when Dopheld slipped little ribbon loops over their wrists so they wouldn’t _have_ to hold them.

“That’s why they’re edible.” Dopheld said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Armitage barely heard him because he was enthralled with Ben’s appearance. There was something magical about seeing this huge Alpha with his face framed with white heather and orange blossom. The juxtaposition of so much strength with such delicacy. It reminded him of how well Ben was looking after all of them.

“Hey,” Ben murmured, “don’t cry.”

He hadn’t realised he was.

Fortunately the girls seemed far more interested in wiggling their arms around and laughing at the blur of colours, but Armitage was glad when the photographer suggested taking some of the pictures before they went in. He needed a minute of peace before he tried to sign anything or his handwriting would be terrible.

It felt a strange to sit in a picturesque alcove of the medieval city wall with curious tourists peering at them as they went by. The flowers made clear that they were here for a Mating ceremony of some kind, but they were holding babies that were obviously their own. Armitage could hear his father's voice his head, cursing him for doing things in the wrong order.

Beside him Ben shifted Kyla to the other knee so he could reach across and place a hand on Armitage’s belly. Still smiling for the camera he murmured, “when this one’s old enough to look at family albums we can tell them they’re in the pictures too.”

Armitage felt his anxiety fade away again into a warm glow at his Alpha’s words. Fuck Brendol, what did his opinions matter? What did anyone’s opinion matter? Hundreds of Alpha and Omega pairs didn’t register right away. Things happened. They’d gotten through that was all that mattered.

He turned to kiss Ben, but just as their lips met he heard a heavily accented voice say “oh my god, isn’t that the Alpha from the Resist campaign?!” followed by the sound of a camera phone taking a picture.

Ben sighed but leaned into the kiss for a moment before he sat back and growled. Apparently he was in full protective Alpha mode because the tourists turned pale at the sound and scampered away, but Armitage felt like he would melt on the spot. He wanted to ask Ben to make that noise again, but not in public.

“Should have made them delete it,” Dopheld said regretfully. “They’ll put it online.”

“I know you’re a professional,” Ben said to the photographer, “but would you mind taking a few with my phone camera? If I get them up online today no one will pay them for the ‘scoop’.” He shook his head ruefully. “I’m not even that famous.”

She agreed happily enough, snapping a few of the kiss, a formal pose, and one Armitage insisted on getting with Dopheld sat on Ben’s other side.

That last picture was the one Ben posted online, claiming that Armitage looked happiest in it. He tagged it as ‘formalising our family, #ProudAlpha #HappyFamily #GrowingFamily #BunInTheOven’ before he turned off his phone and they walked into the registry office together.

The paperwork was boring but not too lengthy. Armitage changed his name first, adding the middle name Benning to the mix with a grin that Ben met with a childish flash of his tongue. It was the same overall price to add an extra middle name as it was to just change his surname, and he’d always wanted a middle name.

The registration of Mating was a little uncomfortable, since it required the photographing of his claim mark- Ben’s wasn’t mandatory but since it _could_ be added Ben chose to do so to help Armitage feel at ease. Once that was done it was necessary to record their family details. Ben’s was done easily enough, but Armitage felt himself welling up at the prospect of writing those two lines of information.

“I’m uh, I’m estranged from my father,” he said with as much dignity as he could muster. “He disown-”

The clerk cut him off with a kind smile. “You don’t have to include his details if you don’t want to, so don’t worry. If he’s on your birth certificate you can only leave it blank, if he _isn’t_ on there then you can write ‘unknown’.”

Armitage would have dearly loved to record Brendol as unknown, but since he was listed on his birth certificate he left the line blank, glad that at least in this he’d give him exactly what he was worth.

Under mother he filled in her name - Aoife O’Madain - then hesitated again at ‘occupation’.

“My mother is dead,” he said sadly. “What do I do?”

“I’m so sorry, dear,” the clerk patted his hand for a moment before gesturing back to the form. They were probably on a timer to get this done before the next appointment. “just put deceased under her name and whatever job she held most recent to the time of her death.”

After a moments deliberation he put ‘chef’. She’s spent much of her time in the kitchen and this felt most respectful.

Ben peered over his shoulder, “that’s a pretty name, how do you pronounce it?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never heard it said aloud,” Armitage said. His voice was just above a whisper. He’d never actually thought about that. He’d never even tried to look it up. “I asked my father once but he just shrugged, and what he told me it _meant_ isn’t repeatable with children present.”

Ben put a gentle hand at the base of his spine, but even through the suit Armitage could feel it was shaking.

“One day I’m gonna...” Ben took a deep breath. “Honestly, he isn’t even worth the bruised knuckles I’d get from punching him in the head, is he?”

“No. But your my family now.” He said and turned back to the form. “In every way.”

The clerk raised her eyebrows at their own occupations - ‘PhD student’ and ‘model’ -but didn’t comment.

“Do you want to update your babies’ certificates?” She asked with a gesture towards the twins currently sitting on Dopheld’s knee and predictably chewing on their flowers. “They can be re-registered now that your Mating has been recorded.”

Armitage looked at Ben, who reached out to cover his hand where it rested on his belly. He hadn’t even realised he’d placed it there. When had he done that?

“It’d be nice if their certificates matched the new baby’s details.” Ben said. He leaned in to place a kiss on his forehead. “And no more of Brendol’s name hanging over us, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Armitage smiled at the thought. “Gone for good. Okay, yes please, we’d like to re-register them.”

The clerk nodded happily while she reached for the new forms. “Another on the way? Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Ben fluffed up with pride a little. “You’re the first person outside the family that we’ve told.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Armitage said, “is there a way to nominate a formal guardian? If we wanted to do that.”

He glanced at Dopheld, who smiled slightly. They hadn’t talked about this yet but Armitage would rather get the information now for any later decisions.

There was a moment of silence while the clerk appeared to assess Dopheld before she turned to Ben. “If you want to add another Omega to your har-”

Ben immediately raised his hands. “Whoa, whoa, not like that!”

Dopheld gave a relieved ‘oh my god’ that the girls quickly responded to with laughter.

“I meant- guardian in the event something happened to us.” Armitage clarified.

“Oh, you’d have to speak to a lawyer and do that through your wills,” the clerk said.

She finished stamping the forms and held the stack of envelopes out in their general direction. “Congratulations, Mr and Mr Solo, that’s all official now.”

There wasn’t a kiss built into this ceremony like the Betas had - they’d wear proof of their commitment on their necks forever- but Armitage turned to face Ben anyway, and grinned to find that Ben had turned to face him too.

It shouldn’t have meant so much, this legalisation of what they’d already promised to one another, but that first kiss under a new name, legally joined, was unforgettable.

* * *

 

> **Mating Surprise? Top Model Bags Himself Two Omegas?**
> 
> Kylo Ren, who so recently established himself as the world's most romantic Alpha by appearing at Fashion Week with a golden claim mark, has once again surprised us all by posting a photograph to his social media account of what appears to be a formal Mating ceremony, but with _two_ Omegas. Kylo and his redhead mystery partner are shown holding the twins he was seen with at Kings Cross but it seems too early for his #BunInTheOven to refer to [Click Here To Continue]
> 
> **189 Comments**
> 
>   * > **Gaultier4Life** who writes this drivel? Only two of them are wearing flowers, it’s clearly just them!
> 
>   * > **BigTJ69** god I wish that were me
> 
>   * > **OMGOmega** urgh Beta writers know nothing about this stuff, get more Omegas on your staff!
> 
>   * > **MuscleFFan** where do I need to apply to for membership of this harem?
> 
>   * > **AAAAAlpha** you guys must have a heart attack every time you open Hello! Magazine and there’s a group photo ‘shock as Prince marries his own parents and grandparents!’ COME ON!
> 
> 


* * *

**That Brat Thanisson** : oooooooooh

 **That Brat Thanisson** : you dark horse

 **Dopheld Mitaka** : we both know that journalist was an idiot

 **That Brat Thanisson** : a likely story

 **Dopheld Mitaka** : stop it

 **That Brat Thanisson** : I would but I don’t wanna

 **That Brat Thanisson** : bask in your fifteen minutes of fame!

 **Dopheld Mitaka** : no

 **That Brat Thanisson** : spoilsport

 **That Brat Thanisson** : notoriety is wasted on you

* * *

**Leia Organa** : Ben that is not the way to make an announcement!

 **Leia Organa** : You could have called us

 **Leia Organa** : We’re not judging you, we just want to be sure you’re safe and happy

 **Leia Organa** : If you want to live with two Omegas at the same time we fully support you

 **Leia Organa** : But please think of Armitage’s happiness as well as your own

 **Leia Organa** : Don't let him feel replaced

 **Leia Organa** : Are you sure this other Omega’s baby is even yours?

 **Leia Organa** : The effects of chemotherapy last for years, you should get a test

 **Ben Solo** : MOM ITS 3AM

 **Ben Solo** : I HVNT MTED ANY1 ELSE

 **Ben Solo** : ARMIES PRGNT N VERY HAPPY N ITS MINE

 **Ben Solo** : NOW LET ME SLEEP FFS

* * *

**Our Lady Plasma** : *high five*

 **Our Lady Plasma** : congrats on the fucking

 **Our Lady Plasma** : does bone marrow get into sperm?

 **Our Lady Plasma** : Is there’s bone marrow in a boner?

 **Our Lady Plasma** : is that technically my baby? ;D

 **Bean So So Low** : you wanna pay child support?

 **Our Lady Plasma** : Nah. Congrats though, genuinely happy for you!

 **Bean So So Low** : thanks! You gotta come see us

* * *

**Tabitha Woodthorpe** : I know you wouldn’t usually stoop to this kind of rag, but look

 **Tabitha Woodthorpe** : [link]

 **Maratelle Woodthorpe-Hux** : delete that immediately

 **Maratelle Woodthorpe-Hux** : don’t say a word to your father

 **Tabitha Woodthorpe** : how could I? MY father’s dead! And he wouldn’t care about someone else’s worthless bastard Omega anyway

 **Maratelle Woodthorpe-Hux** : Brendol IS your father now. One more outburst like that and I’ll half your allowance. Don’t you dare mention that ungrateful boy to me again.

* * *

The first day of term was… well, at least it wasn’t the first day of the year, that was really all Armitage had to say about that.

The morning sickness had finally reared its head. Either that or it was nerves at having to walk through the department proper for the first time since his ‘medical leave’ but Armitage would never admit to that.

No one had said anything. Rae had come out of her office to greet him and check he was okay. He’d seen her numerous times in the weeks previous while he got back on track with everything, but it had still been reassuring to have that check in. Their relationship might always be strained now, but at least she had his back.

He’d still checked all his legal rights though. He wouldn’t risk getting caught out again just because someone seemed kind. For that reason he hadn’t actually told her he was pregnant again yet. As a Mated Omega he could keep his mouth shut until he needed maternity or medical leave. By the end of the day he felt sick enough to worry that wasn’t the right decision.

This would have always been hardest term to come back- his students were facing exams, he had a whole year of other people’s teaching unravel, and he had the lure of summer contend with. The days were getting longer, the evenings were warmer, everyone had just gotten their student loans and the city’s nightlife was singing its siren song again. To be honest it was singing to him as well.

Well, he’d managed to get everyone to listen, he’d gotten a decent back-and-forth going in the seminar portion, and most of the students who needed the study group had signed up. He’d call that a win for the day.

It would have been easier to feel positive about things if Ben had actually been at home.  

* * *

“Oh. It’s you again.”

Rey was sitting in a makeup chair with her feet still swinging a foot above the ground, but her tone of voice sounded more like… well, his mom. It was a really strange thing to hear from such a small source.

“What happened to your neck?” She asked before he’d even finished saying ‘hi’. “Did a werewolf get you?”

“Huh? Oh no, my Mate,” he stopped, suddenly paralyzed at the thought of giving what was basically his cousin The Talk. He looked around but her adoptive parents weren’t anywhere in sight. Shit. “It’s what Alphas and Omegas do, when they love each other very much.”

She made the universal face of pre-teens talking about relationships.

“Ewww, you’re making babies?!”

At least the makeup artist was giving him a sympathetic look.

“I… I’m already a dad,” he said, and pulled out his phone, infinitely more comfortable showing off his girls than talking about _Mating._ “Look, these are my girls- Kyla and Benja; and this will be their sibling.” He swiped across to the twelve week scan Armie had sent him just that morning. It was mostly a grey smudge, but it was his smudge and he was immensely proud of it.

Rey wrinkled her nose. “That’s a lot of babies since New Years! Too many babies!”

He stared at her.

She stared back.

He narrowed his eyes.

She grinned. “I’ve been taking acting classes! I’m really good. Papa Luke already told me. Congratulations!”

Well, she was definitely a Skywalker.

“Hey, Kylo?” One of the assistants called. “Director wants you.”

“I’ve not even got to make up yet.”

“Yeah, he still wants you now.”

Kylo rolled his eyes but followed nonetheless. He’d be stuck in LA for at least another week, there was no use pissing anyone off unnecessarily.

* * *

Somehow the house felt more like home even as he was walking up the driveway. He’d dropped the girls off at the crèche on his way into work, but Dopheld had collected them, so maybe it was just knowing that they and dinner were waiting inside.

What a relief that the morning sickness had passed so quickly. If someone had told him last year that he’d feel this good at fifteen weeks pregnant he would have laughed in their faces. But he did. He felt fantastic. Clearly this was how things were supposed to be.

As he pushed the door open Millicent mewed loudly in greeting but refused to leave her place- standing on Ben’s stomach, kneading cheerfully at his chest.

“Hi!”

“Ben! I didn’t think you’d be back for at least another week!” He cried in delight, rushing to sofa to - if not replace - then at least join the cat in her enjoyment of his Mate.

On the floor both girls looked up to follow his progress with bright eyes.

“Mamamammamaaa!” One of them babbled. It didn’t really matter which one because the other immediately joined in.

“That’s new!” Ben said. He sat up to look at the both, his grin widening when Millicent chided him. “What’s _my_ name?”

The twins looked at him, then at each other. They could talk yet but there was definitely some kind of communication going on.

Benja blew a raspberry.

“Oh. Lovely.” Ben rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what I was expe-”

“Papa!”

As if having Ben home a week early wasn’t good enough, Armitage also got to watch his big strong Alpha melt into sentimental goo when Kyla held her arms up and repeated the word.

“Papa!!”

Not to be out done Benja joined in.

Ben slid off the sofa onto the carpet to pull both his daughters into a bear hug. “Clever girls!”

He looked up at Armitage. “Did you teach them that?”

“We showed them lots of photos and we try to talk about you as much as we can when you’re away,” he explained, then leaned forward to add, a little apologetically, “Dopheld starts with a D so they’re probably going to call him ‘dada’ for a while until they can get the sounds right. I hope tha-”

“Babe, don’t worry, ‘papa’ is fine,” Ben said, pulling Kyla to ‘stand’ against his chest, his hands doing more of the work than her wobbly legs just yet. She squealed with delight. “I am very very happy to be ‘papa’.”

Armitage smiled with relief. He was going to say more, but Dopheld called them to dinner.

* * *

“Um… don’t put that in the wash basket, please.”

Ben stopped, the Joy Division shirt he’d been wearing for over twenty four hours of air and rail travel held out over said basket. “This isn’t a ‘worn to the gym for two hours’ shirt, Armie, this is a full day of grime.”

Loitering by the bathroom door Armie blushed and ducked his head but still kept his hand outstretched. “I need it.”

He shook his head but handed it over anyway. Armie immediately snatched it and scurried away. He could hear him climbing the stairs to his nesting room in the attic, but he elected not to follow him- Armie would let him know when he was ready for Ben to see it, and regardless of Armie’s opinions about his personal odor Ben knew he needed a shower.

Less than two minutes later the door opened again.

“Can I join you?” Armie asked just loudly enough to be heard over the spray.

“Absolutely, get in here!!” Ben laughed, making a joking grab for him around the shower door.

Armie stuck his tongue out at him but undressed at record speed. He was perfect. That was the only thought that Ben could articulate in that moment. His Mate was perfect.

They’d been exchanging pictures the whole time he’d been away but mirrors and selfies couldn’t compete with the glory of actually seeing him up close.

Compared to the pictures from last time Armie looked like he was absolutely glowing, or maybe that was the effect of the heat and steam, but either way he looked so healthy. And happy. As attractive as Ben had found his body in those old photographs they’d all been a little tainted by the sadness at his absence.

His bump wasn’t all that big yet, but it sat low on his torso in a way that made it seem so much more obvious. Ben’s hands immediately gravitated to it of their own accord, marvelling at the firm shape under the soft skin.

“Is it moving yet?” He murmured.

Armie gently pushed him far enough back into the shower to actually be able to join him. He blushed. He hadn’t realised he’d frozen so completely at the sight of his Omega looking so good.

“Not yet. I might feel some movement in the next few weeks, but it’ll be awhile before you can feel anything. They’re only this big,” he made a gesture about the size of an orange, “and they’re not very strong yet.”

Ben nodded and stepped closer. The water was running, washing the filth of both their days away, but he wanted to breathe in as much of Armie’s warmth as he could.

Judging by the way Armie nuzzled against his neck he wanted the same.

“How long are you home for?” Armie asked after who knew how many minutes of standing together under the warm spray.

“Three whole weeks.”

“Really? Nothing booked in anywhere else?”

“A couple of day trips here and there for shoots, and I made sure those overlapped with your teaching days,” Ben said with a smile. “I don’t want to make you miss me.”

Armie sighed happily and nuzzled closer.

“I do need to talk to you about my next job though.”

“Uh oh.” Armie said deadpan, though it felt like he was still smiling.

“I was offered a part in a movie.”

This time Armie actually moved backwards enough to peer up at him. Ben took the opportunity to kiss his lips and then reached for the shampoo. They couldn’t stay in the shower all night.

“A movie? I thought you were mostly doing adverts and the like?”

“Yeah, and I was. But, you know my uncle Luke? His daughter Rey?” He asked as he smoothed shampoo through Armie’s hair. He smiled when Armie wiggled contentedly at the contact. “Well she does a lot of the same martial arts that I do and then director on this… I don’t remember what it was, but it was some kind of online advertising spot, _anyway_ he’s second director on some big blockbuster summer movie. He got in touch with their casting person and I’ve got a part. It’s not big, but there’s going to be some cool fight scenes and I have to try to seduce the main character or something. So it’ll be great exposure.”

Armie nodded thoughtfully. Somewhere in the monologue he’d found the shower gel, and he was probably trying to wash Ben but he’d gotten himself fixated on rubbing bubbles across his chest.

“I take it this movie won’t be filming near here?” He asked.

“No, somewhere in Romania. I think there’s a big castle involved.”

“Are you _actually_ going to be a vampire?”

“Now, now, no stereotyping,” Ben said, nodding fervently because actually saying the name out loud would be a violation of his contract. “You’ll just have to see when the movie comes out.”

“How long?”

“Scheduled for four weeks, but it might be longer.” Ben said and pulled Armie into a preemptive hug. It was a long time for them to be apart right now. “I can fly you and the girls out when the school year is over though. If you’re comfortable doing that.”

“But I get you for three almost uninterrupted weeks first?”

“Yes.”

Armie kissed him. “Okay. Well then Mister Movie Star, jet lag or not, you’ve got the last few weeks away to make up for, and another four more to offset, so I’m going to have to insist you take me to bed right this second.”

Ben turned the shower off so quickly he banged his hand, but he barely noticed because Armie leaned in and whispered, “by the way, the doctor says my hormones are stable now, so no more risk of conceiving again. You can come in me all you want.”

They didn’t make it to the bedroom for another half an hour after that. The shower tiles were comfortable enough.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on new content, losing Tumblr really threw me off there for a while. Hopefully the next update won't take so long.

“Armitage?”

Oh no. He’d only just walked into the department, and Rae Sloane was already in his personal space. 

It was far too early in the morning for this, especially since Ben had kept him up most of the night. He was pleasantly sore after celebrating Ben’s early return home but the sensation wouldn’t  exactly help him relax while talking to his advisor. Mostly it just reminded him of what he hadn’t told her yet.

“Yes?” He said, then realising he was being unnecessarily curt he added, “what’s up?”

Their relationship had improved over the last few weeks- there was no reason to antagonise her unnecessarily. 

“Can we talk in my office, please?” 

He looked around suspiciously. Was this a repeat of last time? Without really thinking about it his hands pulled his messenger bag around to cover his stomach. He wasn’t really showing yet but old habits were hard to shake. 

“It’s nothing bad,” she said in an almost reassuring tone as she waved him towards the door, “please?”

He wanted to ask that they go to  _ his _ office instead but he couldn’t let himself to give in to that kind of weakness. Still, he held the bag in front of him when he sat down in the chair she indicated. Sometimes a shield was a good thing.

“Armitage,” Rae began as she settled in behind her desk. “I’ve been very impressed with how well you’ve settled back into the department but there’s a few things I wanted to bring to your attention. First- your thesis. I know you’ve had a year away and before that working on it must have been difficult because of your, ahem, family situation, but … you do know that this is pretty much finished, right?” 

He blinked. He did not know that. Truth be told he’d barely looked at his papers- there’d been so much to do with the move and getting everything else sorted that he’d hadn’t really had time.

Armitage was still trying to work out how to formulate a response that wouldn’t make him look like a complete flake when Rae sat forward and laced her fingers together earnestly. 

“I know you intended to have another year to work on this, but I’ve come into some information that I think might encourage you to get it submitted sooner rather than later. You’re familiar with Chempat Applied Technologies?”

“Of course.” 

It was a ridiculous question. They were only a part of Corellian Engineering Corp - one of the most prestigious manufacturing companies in the world. The sort of place students dreamed of working before they realised how hard the training really was for that kind of role. How many of the overconfident undergraduates on his degree course had claimed they’d work there one day? None of  _ them _ were even in the industry any more. 

A parcel of glossy documents slid across the desk and broke his thought pattern. 

“CAT are building a technology park on the outskirts of the city.” She said with a vague wave towards the window. “About a mile that way. They’ve joined forces with Rendili Aeronautics to house a number of their specialist divisions together all in one location. You know the kind of thing- custom built high spec with a side of showboating. Of course they’re hoping to get students in from various departments for work placements and studies- and during a recent meeting I happened to mention your work...”

The next few minutes passed in a fog of static as Armitage both tried to listen and to get his heart rate under control. Chempat were interested in  _ him _ ?

Until his father had disowned him there had always been an expectation that, if he wasn’t already mated by then, his father would - probably through some unethical deal- get him a low level role at Kuat-Entralla Engineering.

Naturally Armitage had wanted absolutely nothing to do with that, and so he had mostly kept his own eye on smaller upcoming companies. 

With his former surname places like Corellian, Rendili, and MonCala Engineering had all seemed out of his reach because his father had lobbied against their interests once too many times for them to treat him neutrally. Especially as an Omega. Old companies were less likely hire Omegas than new companies looking to impress with their diversity.

It was unexpected that CAT would seem genuinely interested in his work. The way Rae described things they were excited beyond even anything that could be attributed to mere modernisation. They wanted to meet him even though he hadn’t finished his education yet. 

His heart sank a little when he remembered why his bag was still on his lap. Whoever Rae had spoken to wasn’t in full possession of the facts. 

“So,” She concluded with an expectant smile, “can I pass along your contact details? I think this would be a fantastic opportunity for you.” 

“Professor Sloane,” he said carefully, “I’m grateful, but you should know… I’m pregnant. I can’t imagine any of the old firms would want to hire an Omega with a growing family.”

Rae sighed in frustration and tipped her head forward to rest on her linked hands. 

“Well, I just lost £20,” She grumbled before she sat up again, smoothing her hair back into professional neatness while she continued flatly, “sorry, that was inappropriate. Congratulations. The good news is the tech park won’t be finished until next year, and Corellian as a whole is looking to improve its profile with the younger demographic. I had already informed them of your status as a Mated Omega, and a parent, and frankly I can see them jumping at the chance to put a visibly pregnant Omega at the front of a fair few photo ops.”

Armitage really wasn’t sure he’d liked that idea. He’d accepted that he might end up being something of a diversity hire but not quite so publically. It’d be like getting caught up in Ben’s paparazzi encounters except standing next to Kylo Ren didn’t make him doubt the validity of his work in the same way that being a token Omega would. He wanted to be recognised for his technical abilities, not his body.

“Which did you mention first?”

There was a pause as Rae frowned at him, then understanding seemed to dawn. “Oh, your work obviously, I only brought up your family when they mentioned their own intentions with regard to their profile.”

While Armitage gave a disbelieving hum Rae glanced down at the desk, one finger running over his name on the printed copy of his thesis. The header still said ‘Armitage Hux’.

“I haven’t actually met your Mate, but would I be correct in saying he’s Ben Solo?”

He nodded, not entirely sure why that was relevant.

“His father drove for Scuderia Corell for a while- Corellian’s racing division.”

“Oh.” 

That had been another of Ben’s tall tales that he hadn’t actually believed. According to Ben Han Solo had done everything a person could imagine apart from being an involved parent, and Armitage had taken most of it with a grain of salt.

He had a sudden clear vision of Kylo climbing out of a luxury sports car in some dramatic advertisement. There might be more benefits to this than just a job.

“Well. I guess there’s no harm in speaking to them.” He said in something of a daze. “And it would be handy to graduate before the baby gets here I suppose. I was concerned about how I was going to juggle it all.”

Rae nodded somewhat too emphatically at that particular point. All in all the conversation was still an improvement on her previous reaction. He didn’t have to sneak out of the office in an oversized coat for a start. 

He snorted in amusement at his own thought- clearly it was the little things that really mattered to him.

* * *

Ben peered around the doorframe of the study to find Armie in the middle of a sea of paper with both his desktop and his laptop turned on, and a pencil gripped between his teeth so hard it was developing indents. He was entirely focused on his work.

That made Ben deflate a little. He’d handled the twins dinner, bath, and bedtime all by himself for the first time because Dopheld was out for the evening, and he’d been expecting some kind of praise for his efforts. 

A lot of people said Alphas couldn’t do that sort of thing. He didn’t buy into the old fashioned notions of parenting, but managing two squirming infants in the bath at once had certainly been a challenge. 

He stood there watching Armie type like the keyboard was his worst enemy for a moment before his Mate shifted in discomfort, rubbed at his back, and then started typing again with even more determination than before. Armie really was taking the whole graduating thing seriously.

Looking over the mass of documents scattered around the room Ben suddenly felt a little guilty. He was on a break from modelling but Armie wasn’t, and when he left to work on his movie Armie would  _ still  _ be working at the same time as raising the girls. Some long neglected sensible part of his brain reminded him that Armie had handled the twins totally alone for two months before Dopheld had arrived to help. Hell, he’d delivered them on his own.

Ben might be proud of himself for doing something he’d never done before but Armie had no more experience with kids than he did, and at least now the girls could sit up on their own most of the time. And shove food into their own mouths- and each others mouth, and nose, and hair. Okay, maybe that was a bad example. But still, the girls weren’t as difficult to manage now as they had been before.

At the desk Armie stretched, head tipped back and eyelids fluttering as his skinny wrists extended towards the ceiling. It was a sappy thought but with the light from his desklamp he reminded Ben of someone from an old fashioned painting.

Sometime he loved his Mate so much it made his chest ache.

Struck by a sudden urge to make Armie smile he went back to the kitchen and turned the oven on again.

* * *

Something smelled good.

Something smelled really really good. 

Armitage looked up from his work, expecting at any moment to float out of his chair like a cartoon character following the scent of a pie. Instead his stomach growled its interest, and as it did he felt a slight bubbling sensation that could have been hunger, or maybe the baby joining in the call for food.

He was just resolving to get up and investigate when Ben appeared in the office doorway, with a tray. 

“Chicken nuggets, banana milkshake, and a pot of tea for sir?” Ben drawled in a terrible fake English accent like some kind of buff butler from a very strange hollywood movie. He had a tea towel draped over his arm for added effect.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Armitage said, then laughed when Ben set down the tray to reveal the chicken nuggets artfully arranged on a plate surrounded by an excess of cutlery. There was an egg cup full of curry sauce. The milkshake was in a wine glass. 

For some reason there was also a plastic champagne flute filled with what looked like white powder.

“Wha-”

“All good fancy meals have a flower in a vase.” Ben continued in his weird voice. “We don’t have any flowers though, or a vase, so I improvised.”

“Impro… oh FLOUR. Oh my god, you’re such a nerd. I love you.”

Ben bowed, very formally, and kissed Armitage on the forehead in the process.

“I love you too. I figured you could do with feeding.”

Armitage nodded but his reply had to wait for him to finish chewing the first chicken nugget. He was pretty sure the baby couldn’t actually tell what he was eating, but maybe it could feel the endorphin rush because the bubbling sensation was back.

“We both thank you,” he said with a grin and patted his belly. 

“Do you want a back rub? You looked pretty uncomfortable earlier.”

He gave his Mate a soft smile. “Not right now, because I’m trying to write, and if you get me feeling too good I might not be able to control myself, but I’d love it if you’d sit with me? Please?”

Ben wandered out of the room, then returned a minute later with one of the sofa cushions and a graphic novel. After some fussing with the placement he sat down on the floor, rested his head against the side of Armitage’s belly and settled in to read.

“Tell me if you need anything,” he murmured, “as your Alpha I’m at your command.”

“Don’t tempt me, Ben Solo.”

“Awww.”

“Okay, you can tempt me later.”

* * *

“You look really familiar,” a voice said from far too close behind him.

Kylo almost fell on his ass redirecting the blade from its original trajectory. Getting a blunt prop sword wedged in a coworker’s face would have really hindered his career. Especially since it was only his second day on the set itself.

“Dude, what the fuck?! Get off the fucking mats!” Kylo snapped, barely resisting the urge to push the man back. How stupid was this guy to be wandering into the middle of a fight walkthough? “I nearly took your fucking head… off… Poe?!”

After a barely noticeable hesitation Poe raised his chin.

“Whoa, careful now big guy,” He said. He ran a hand back through his short curls in a way that seemed calculated to be charming. Kylo wasn’t impressed. 

Five years of casual teenage rivalry came rushing back as he stared down at the source of so much of his childhood insecurity. 

Poe fucking Dameron. They’d trained together every weekend at flight school for much of Ben’s early teens and Poe had beaten him at every turn. He had been three years older but he’d disproportionately better at everything they did. He’d even won at ‘being liked by Leia’ most of the time.

They hadn’t seen each other since Ben was fifteen, when Poe had chosen to go to college instead of joining the airforce. He’d seemed so intimidating then. Now he barely even reached Kylo’s collarbone. 

Poe looked to be reasonably fit under his dress shirt, but from the awkward way he kept glancing at Kylo’s still raised arms he wasn’t comfortable with the amount of muscle on display. Which was how people usually reacted to Kylo, but it was strange to see it from a former classmate.

A week away from Armie was fueling Kylo’s stereotypical Alpha behaviour, and he felt a little embarrassed when he realised he was deliberately puffing himself up. But not enough to stop. Poe had been the bane of his existence for years.

“You’re the one who needs to be careful.” If wasn’t a good comeback but it had taken him so long to speak it was always going to be disappointing.

“Apparently.” Poe said blandly.

He held out his hand instead of apologising, but Kylo didn’t take it. There was the faint smell of Omega around the man and it made Kylo’s stomach clench with homesickness. The scent of his Mate maybe? 

When it became clear that Kylo wasn’t going to shake, Poe ran his hand through his hair again.

“Well I supposed I’d better introduce myself, I’m Poe Dameron. And you look really familiar but I can’t place you.”

“I know who you are. I even said your name. You’ve probably seen  _ me  _ on a billboard,” Kylo replied. 

Hs first thought was to stay mysterious and keep his identity to himself, but a second better thought reminded him that Poe had known his family for years. He’d just look foolish when his real name inevitably came out.

He stepped forward to close the space between them so he could whisper but Poe squared his shoulders like the movement was a threatening one. Kylo rolled his eyes.

“My stage name is Kylo Ren,” he said at a low rumble, the Alpha in him trying to show off again. “But you knew me as Ben Solo.”

Poe blinked a few times, then stepped back to survey Kylo from messy hair to bare size thirteen feet. 

“Wow.” He said. “Wow. Last I heard you were in the hospital. Didn’t you have cancer? Or was that just a cover for you getting bitten by a radioactive bear or the Hulk or something?” Poe waved a hand at his biceps. “That’s the only thing that could explain all of this.”

Kylo shrugged. He was more than a little pleased at the way Poe’s eyes widened with the movement of his muscles. 

“Oh, that was years ag- no, shit, it wasn’t.” He swayed a little and stopped, blinking hard while he stared at the ground. Maybe if he could just focus on the matt beneath his feet the weird sense of unreality would fade. “Fuck, it was eighteen months ago. Things change so fast.”

“So… what was it? Radioactive bear or…”

“ _ You _ haven’t changed.”

“You’d be surprised,” Poe said in a surprisingly serious tone, but anything else he might have said was cut off when the director appeared with a gleeful look on his face.

“You know the very first time I saw you both, I knew this was going work,” the director beamed as he used his phone to take a photo of Kylo looming over Poe. “Such great chemistry, everyone’s going to love your fight scenes. Plucky hero standing up to the monster like that. Perfect. Seriously, whatever you’re doing keep it up.”

Kylo couldn’t help looking at the director in surprise.

“I thought the hero was an Omega?”

“Like I said- things change.” Poe snapped sourly before he turned on his heel and headed toward the craft services table.

The director followed with a shake of his head. “Okay, nevermind. Kylo, maybe save the antagonism for in front of the camera.”

* * *

Armitage had expected the flight to Romania to be exhausting, but he’d hadn’t considered the discomfort that long legs and a growing bump would present while flying economy. Dopheld very kindly flown with them to help him with the twins but he still felt rotten. Everything hurt.

So far they hadn’t made it much further than Ben’s trailer- the girls were still too out of sorts to be quiet on set- but even sitting in this enclosed space full of Ben’s scent was a relief after nearly four weeks apart. He felt like he could truly relax for the first time in forever, if only his hips would stop hurting.

He probably shouldn’t complain too much though. He was getting a chance to doze on the couch with the girls playing quietly at his feet. Dopheld had set off on a twelve hour drive home to see his family in Germany. Armitage had offered to buy him a plane ticket when he’d revealed this ridiculous aspect of the plan, but apparently Dopheld wanted some alone time and Armitage couldn’t argue with that. 

Armitage felt like he hadn’t been alone in over a year. Technically speaking he hadn’t been alone since the night Ben was diagnosed.

As if to highlight his point the baby wriggled into a new position. They were probably just as glad to be off the plane as he was right now. He shifted onto his side in the hope of supporting his bump against the couch cushions and closed his eyes. If he rubbed his stomach in just the right way he might be able to get the baby to relax again. It had sometimes worked with the twins when they seemed to be trying to fight their way out of him.

He was almost asleep when the door to the trailer banged open.

There was something wonderfully melodramatic about his Mate appearing in the doorway- dressed in medieval clothes and lit from behind by the sunset- that was only slightly ruined by the trio of footlong subs in his hand.

“Are any of those for me?” Armitage murmured once the door was closed again.

“They don’t have milkshakes but when I told the guy it was for my pregnant Mate he happily made you this,” Ben said. “Said his own wife ate clay with their first, so I should be glad you stick to these abominations.”

Armitage peeled back the top layer of bread. Thin slices of banana were artfully arranged on top of the meat in his sandwich. His stomach gave a rumble of anticipation that was accompanied by what felt like a barrel roll from the baby.

He had no excuse for the craving, his body simply wanted what it wanted so Armitage just said thanks and tucked in. He was just grateful he had an appetite this time around, or he did until he looked up. 

Ben ate his own two sandwiches with frankly horrifying speed. If he hadn’t been visibly chewing Armitage would have thought he was just deepthroating the things whole like some kind of snake. 

Seeing his expression Ben paused long enough to explain that he’d been on set since the early hours, working on some kind of flashback battle sequence and this was his first real break to eat. In an hour or two he’d be summoned back to makeup to prep for a nighttime scene but until then he was free to hang out if he didn’t fall asleep. 

Armitage hadn’t realised how much effort went into making a movie. Though of course he’d understood that Ben was probably working hard than usual. The director had liked his early work so much he’d actually had the script rewritten to make Kylo’s part much bigger. It was all a little hush-hush but it sounded like Kylo had gone from a henchman to a major bad guy.

But for now he was just a tired Alpha who’d missed his family.

On the floor Benja yawned so deeply she tipped herself over. 

“Okay children, story time before bed,” Ben said with a grin. He was waving a stack of colourful books that he must have bought here because Armitage had never seen them before.

Armitage moved to get off the sofa and out of the way of papa-and-twins-time but his Mate gently pushed him back.

“Oh no, don’t you get up,” he said. “You clearly need all the rest you can get. Besides I said  _ children _ . You have to stay here so the baby can listen.”

Armitage rolled his eyes but stayed laying on his side anyway, letting the girls snuggle in around his bump while Ben sat on the floor where everyone could see the pictures.

He was soon dozing again, only half aware of the drone of Ben’s voice when the baby shifted. He’d been feeling it more and more the last few days but this kick was especially hard.

A surreptitious hand on his belly confirmed it a few seconds later- the baby was strong enough to be felt from the outside now. As Ben spoke he carefully lifted one of his large hands and pressed it to his bump.

Ben glanced up questioningly but didn’t break the flow of the story. The girls were far too little to notice he did but it was a sweet gesture all the same. 

In fact, on closer inspection both of the twins had already fallen asleep- the story could be safely interrupted.

“They like it,” Armitage murmured in explanation, adjusting the position until the baby was kicking directly into Ben’s palm. “Here.”

The wide-eyed look shifted to a happy grin as Ben turned to actually look at Armitage’s bump. 

“Hi! Are you okay in there?”

In answer the wriggling intensified until Kyla shifted in her sleep to get away from it.

Realising that they couldn’t leave the twins to sleep in that position Ben took a minute to get them both settled into a travel cot he’d set up in the bedroom end of the trailer. They wouldn’t be sleeping here usually, but tonight they’d all agreed to stay together as much as possible.

“You should keep going,” Armitage said when he came back, “see if you can lull us both to sleep.”

“I’ll read to you if you want, but you’re not sleeping here either,” Ben laughed. He was running his hand over Armitage’s bump almost like he didn’t realise he was doing it. Inside the baby shifted like they wanted to follow the movement. “The bed back there isn’t great but it’s better than the couch, come on.”

Armitage really didn’t want to move, but after hesitating a beat too long Ben made the decision for him and hoisted him up into his arms. It was a very weird sensation to be picked up like a damsel by a man dressed as a medieval nobleman. 

Armitage glanced at the huge mirror that took up most of one wall and laughed.

“This could be the front cover of some kind of pulp historical romance!” He giggled as Ben flexed and smouldered like a proper hero. “A Fruitful Rescue!”

Ben laughed. “Can the handsome but widowed Omega Lord Armitage actually meet his new betrothed before his condition becomes apparent?” He said in a silly voice like a movie announcer. “Or will Ben the gorgeous Alpha servant of the mysterious Baron sweep him off his feet first? And what secret is Ben hiding, beyond his obvious ardour for Armitage’s bountiful form?”

“Oh my god, what?” Armitage managed between giggles, but Ben was too busy nuzzling his neck to reply.

He glanced at the mirror again, and smiled at what he saw there. He’d never really thought of himself as all that attractive, but this was a good look. The leggings and tunic shirt he was wearing really didn’t look all that out of place for the era. There was even a sliver of belly was showing, a staple of the more lurid pregnancy focused Alpha/Omega romance books he’d read. 

Ben clearly agreed with his assessment because after a moment or two he’d progressed to kissing him soundly, still holding him in his arms in the middle of his trailer. 

As if to ruin all their fun someone knocked on the door. It was time for Ben to get to makeup. 

“We’ll have to come back to this later,” Ben purred as he lowered Armitage to the bed, the emphasis placed most firmly on the word ‘come’. 

Unable to resist the urge to tease his Alpha he smiled and asked, “the seduction, or your sudden foray into writing romantic fiction?”

Ben paused at the door and shrugged. “Well I need something to do while we’re knotted together, so why not write the next bestseller?”

Armitage threw a pillow at him, but it missed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus.

Movie making was not as glamorous as most people thought. Maybe someday, when (not if) Ben became a Hollywood star the experience would be more exciting, but for now Armitage was finding his time in Romania pretty tedious.

Mostly because he hadn’t actually seen anything yet.

The girls refused to be quiet amongst all the bright lights and bustle, so being on set was out of the question.

They could stay in the hotel room, or in the trailer, or go for a walk through the town. Well, the trailer was cramped and the hotel wallpaper made him feel like he was in The Shining, so today he’d elected to take the girls out somewhere for breakfast before he entirely lost his marbles.

Finding a cafe with outdoor seating and baby friendly food had seemed like a good start, but the appearance of Ben’s coworker soured his mood before he’d even finished his decaf. Which was rude of him, he knew- it wasn’t Poe’s fault that Ben came back to the hotel everyday smelling of strange Omega- but he could have had the good sense not to sit with them.

They hadn’t even been formally introduced yet.

Armitage glanced at his reflection in the cafe window, wondering if his disinterested glower had lost some of its strength since he’d had kids.

No, he still looked like he could ignite a table with just his irritation.

Clearly this man had a death wish. Or he’d known Ben long enough to be immune to sullenness.

“So, you’re Ben’s Mate?” Poe said once he’d slouched into the chair opposite with a smug half-smile. “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist meeting the man who made the noodle into the beefcake.”

Was that some new kind of slang Armitage had missed during his time in Scotland, or just a weird Americanism? Ben was the only young American Armitage had ever spent much time around, but he’d lived in the UK long enough to still make sense most of the time.

“I beg your pardon?” It wasn’t the sort of snappy comeback Armitage usually managed, but he was a little distracted by Kyla trying to put her spoon up her sister’s nose. “What do you mean?”

“Growing up we used to call Ben ‘The Noodle With Ears’ because he was so skinny and his ears were… so…” Poe trailed off, finally noticing the frostiness of Armitage’s gaze. “Well, you know what I mean. Now he’s…” This time Poe waved his arms in the shape of a huge rectangle in the air. “He’s fu- hecking huge!”

As much as Armitage wanted to hate the man Poe’s awkward swerve around the swear word made him laugh.

The waiter- apparently taking the hand waving as a summons- wandered over then to take the newcomer’s order, which gave Armitage a chance to assess him. He’d seen Poe often over the last few days, but only in passing and in the company of others. Even when he wasn’t acting Poe had carried himself a certain way, like he expected people to look to him for instructions. Despite the lingering smugness he seemed reduced; though not physically smaller he somehow gave off less of an impression of ego waiting to be fulfilled. He was just a guy getting breakfast and making awkward conversation.

As Poe was speaking Benja took the opportunity to launch her sister’s spoon across the table. He caught it without breaking the flow of his words and handed it back with a smile that would have seemed almost shy on anyone else. When Benja babbled at him he booped her nose.

Perhaps it wasn’t smugness at all, just as Ben’s grumpiness was often a cover for nerves. Armitage had heard that ‘fake it til you make’ worked for some people.

“Anyway! Muscles, what’s the secret?” Poe asked, derailing whatever Armitage’s train of thought was supposed to be.

“Oh, I can’t claim the credit for that. When we met he was still about 40% noodle despite all the rugby and protein shakes.” He smiled nostalgically at the memory of the Ben he’d had a crush on for so long only for the expression to fade when he remembered the bruises. “He got sick. Really sick. We lost touch, he almost died. It was his own determination to recover that made him the way he is, not me.”

“How did you meet?”

“University.”

“Ah, horny freshmen in co-ed dorms.” Poe gave a salacious wink that would have made Armitage sit up straight in offended outrage if his belly wasn’t in the way.

He couldn’t really be offended at the implication when he was pregnant and sitting next to the twins he’d had while they were still unmated. However, he _could_ laugh at the idea of either of them being smooth enough to pull through mere proximity, so he did.

“No, we weren’t in the same year. We met through D&D.”

“D&D?”

“Dungeons and Dragons. You know, the tabletop game?”

“Oh my god, you’re nerds!”

Just as Poe really started to laugh, his phone rang.

“Dammit, I was supposed to have this morning off…” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, already waving to the waiter to wrap up the food he hadn’t started yet.

Whoever was on the other end of the line sounded apologetic but firm, not that Poe seemed all that interested in arguing.

“Okay, fine I’ll be five minutes.” He said, the turned to Armitage. “Hey, do you wanna head back up?”

He had mostly finished his own food, and the girls were more interested in wearing rather than eating what was left on their plates. Maybe the walk would lull them into a middle morning nap.

Poe grinned at him. “Come on, you can tell me all about Ben’s secret nerdom.”

* * *

Ben was not having a good time. Now that Armie was finally here, it felt like the weirdest thing to have his Omega watching him work.

He hadn’t realised until right now- when he was trying to get a fight sequence right without injuring anyone- that Armie hadn’t ever actually seen him as Kylo outside of a D&D game.

The closest they’d got was at Fashion Week and by the time Ben had returned to the hotel every day he’d been back to normal. Now after four days of being nearby he was finally here and Ben had turned into a bundle of nerves.

It didn’t help that Poe was sitting next to Armie.

The girls were both asleep in their pushchair, entirely uninterested in the exciting scene around them, but Armie was watching him intently. Every so often Poe leaned closer to whisper something in his ear, but at this distance Ben had no idea what they were saying.

He did not want to think about the kind of things Poe could be telling Armie about his childhood.

He also could not stop thinking about that.

His brain was almost treating Poe like the rival Alpha he’d always expected him to be instead of the Omega he knew he was, while also getting tangled up in the visceral loyalty he felt to his own Omega.

The whole thing was a horrible hormonal mess. He’d never learned to deal well with those.

After the eighth time he got distracted and tripped over his own feet the director called an exasperated break. It was humiliating.

As he stomped over to the craft services table, knowing he was pouting but too upset to control himself, he noticed Armie on an intercept course with an odd look on his face.

Instead of greeting him, Ben grabbed a bottle water and attempted to pour the whole thing down his own throat in one. He really wasn’t in a good headspace.

“Series of bad rolls there, Kylo,” his Mate said in a bad accent that Ben hadn’t heard in well over a year. He wasn’t speaking to him as Armie, he was using Techie’s voice.

His back prickled as if the beads of sweat were running upward along his skin. For the first time in an hour he felt his heart rate begin to settle.

Ben opened his mouth to say ‘what?’ when something about the scene made his brain go weird.

He was already wearing armour and carrying a prop sword. Armie’s hair was loose and almost touching the collar of the yellow hoodie Ben had bought him for his previous birthday. The world around them faded slightly just like it used to back when they were playing their old campaign. When he was Kylo and the only outlet for his crush was his Tiefling’s affection for Armie’s wizard.

“Guess I couldn’t beat his intimidation check,” Kylo said, nodding a little in the direction of his old nemesis. He actually felt like Kylo for the first time all day. It was really strange. He’d never needed this as a model.

“Let me offer you an assist on that.” ‘Techie’ stepped forward and pulled him in for a kiss, his bump between them. Kylo would have to think up an in game scenario for that- they’d never actually roleplayed as lovers but now he absolutely had to have a reason for his wizard to be carrying his baby.

Kylo hummed happily against his lips. “Mmmm nat20.”

“You’re such a nerd,” Armie muttered, but leaned up for another kiss. “I want you to know I’m paying exactly as much attention to Poe’s stories about baby Ben as I ever paid to your own- none at all.”

“You wound me.”

“Only when you don’t get out of the way of range effects,” Techie laughed, then squeaked when Kylo pulled him closer to nuzzle against his claim mark through his top. “What are you blushing about?”

He turned his head to whisper in his Mate’s ear. “Thinking about all the ways my Tiefling could have put a baby in you… thinking about playing some of them out…”

“Kylo, you’re at work,” another laugh, another kiss, “I don’t think you should be thinking about that right now. Later though, absolutely.”

“Better than thinking about Poe pouring poison in your ear.”

Suddenly he was being gripped by the hair and pulled back so Techie could look him in the eye. It was an old move from their early D&D days when their characters had been bickering constantly but this time it went straight to his groin. He _really_ shouldn’t be having _any_ of these thoughts on set.

“I’m your Mate, I can hold my own when it comes to you versus some unmated Omega,” Armie snapped in a way that made his Alpha instincts roar. Suddenly he smiled and went on in Techie’s voice, “you can always imagine I cast Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere on him if it helps.”

“I can’t believe you dared to call _me_ a nerd,” Kylo laughed, but he did like the mental image of Poe trapped in a bubble and unable to throw him off. They’d worked fine together until now. Clearly Kylo wasn’t built for crossing the streams of work and homelife without the added filter of fiction.

He should probably do some research into actual acting techniques. He wasn’t sure what method acting was, but he didn’t think being in the headspace of a D&D character whenever he was at work was a good idea.

It’d have to do for now though.

* * *

Poe hadn’t actually been telling Armitage anything he didn’t already know. Ben’s parents called regularly now that they’d reconnected, and telling stories about Ben’s youth was one of Leia’s favourite talking points.

Anything Poehad to say about Ben’s so-called ‘bad behaviour’, well, Armitage knew Ben better than anyone else here. He could recognise when his bad moods were really nerves or poorly directed anger. It felt good to be able to redirect him, even if talking in character for the first time in a year was a little strange. He’d have to practice.

He bit his lip at Kylo’s suggestion of roleplaying the conception. They’d never brought their characters into the bedroom before. Hopefully there wouldn’t be dice involved.

He wandered back over the seating area, hoping that his long tunic and the curve of his bump would hide his reaction to Ben’s hinted fantasies, and sank back down into the chair next to Poe.

“Careful, or the director will have you teaching me how to kiss him,” He muttered before Armitage had quite gotten comfortable.

“I _am_ his Mate.”

“Babies having babies.” Poe shook his head in faux sadness.

“How old do you think I am?”

“Same school year as Ben, right? So 21-22?”

Armitage chuckled. Everyone on set seemed to think he was younger than Kylo. Clearly Ben had finally gained enough muscle to escape his puppy-dog phase, or maybe it was being a Mated Alpha that gave Ben an older air.

“I’m a graduate student. Well, I just submitted my PhD thesis actually. I’m hoping to get my doctorate before the end of the year.”

Poe’s eyebrows jumped. Clearly he wasn’t expecting the age difference. Armitage smiled sweetly and decided to have some fun with him.

“Kylo actually flew us out here as a 27th birthday present, since he missed it with all the filming.” He said happily, one hand coming up to rest on his bump. “Technically it’s a honeymoon too, though hopefully we get to go somewhere more relaxing once this one arrives.”

“Honeymoon?” Poe glanced at the twins still sleeping in their pushchair.

Armitage let his smile widen. “You don’t read the tabloids then?”

Across the set one of the assistants called a warning that they were about to restart, and this time Poe would be needed. He grabbed a water bottle stood from his seat.

“Nooo… but I guess I should start.”

“Don’t believe any of the stuff about harems!” Armitage said just as he took a sip.

The girls woke to Kylo’s laughter ringing out over the sound of Poe’s coughing fit. It was worth getting kicked off set again to see his Mate so happy.

* * *

_**And Poe Makes Three?** _

_In an exclusive scoop from our continental reporter we can reveal that hot commodity model/actor Kylo Ren seems to have added Omega heartthrob Poe Dameron to his harem. Yesterday, Poe was seen taking breakfast with Kylo’s mystery mate before engaging in torrid love scene with the muscular Alpha on the set of their new movie…_

* * *

“Who reads this trash?” Poe muttered, absentmindedly offering a strip of bacon from his plate the dog bouncing excitedly by his feet.

No one knew where the almost spherical gingery white mutt had come from, but after two weeks of loitering around the catering van most of the crew seemed to have taken him on as some kind of mascot. Right now he was using Poe’s distraction to eat the omelette straight off his plate.

Kylo shrugged. “Armie’s old housemate reads that shit like its manna from heaven, but he’s basically the gossip pages given vaguely human form so… I dunno, it’s just par for the course.”

“I wish I’d never looked now.”

“And yet you’re still reading.”

“Yeah, I know,” Poe sighed. He turned the page. “It’s literally just a shitty photo of two people having breakfast and a telephoto lens shot of the set. I’m not sure that’s even us, I think it’s the stunt guys. The headline might as well be ‘shock as Omega eats food and does work’. It’s all bullshit.”

“Isn’t everything about this industry bullshit?”

“You’re not wrong. You know, I’ve never bothered dating anyone because I’ve been too busy with work, and I’ve done way more than this with Alphas in movies before... but one conversation with another Omega…”

Poe stared off into space for a moment, his expression sadder than Kylo had probably ever seen it even when they were teens.

“People suck,” Kylo said when it became clear that Poe wasn’t going to say anything else. “I thought they wrote about everyone. I’m sorry you had to read that shit. ”

“Not your fault, and you’re right, people suck. Anyway, I’m gonna go call my agent, the production office might want to do something about the spoilers. There’s no point changing anything we’re doing now - denials, avoidance - they’ll just spin it however they want.”

“Or you could spectacularly break my heart,” Kylo suggested with a wink. “Then it’d all be over in one dramatic break-up article. Start a fight with me on the red carpet or something.”

The smile Poe gave him then was just enough like one of Armie’s to make Kylo wary, if not fast enough to avoid what happened next.

“How about ‘or something’?”

“Wha-”

Poe’s cold coffee hit Kylo in the face before he even finished the question.

At his feet the dog started happily licking his boots clean.

* * *

Ben lay on his front between Armie’s thighs- his arms around his torso and his head on his bump- and tried to work out how to start an awkward conversation.

Maybe they should have talking about this over dinner, or while they were putting the girls to bed. Certainly _before_ they had sex. Armie looked half asleep already and Ben could feel wakefulness slipping away at much the same speed as his resolve, but they had to talk about this.

Armie couldn’t stay. As wonderful as it was to come home to him after a long day on set, having his scent around all the time was throwing him off. Filming was taking far too long. Ben would probably never get another film role if he couldn’t get focused. The moments of roleplay as Kylo had helped but they couldn’t do that all the time. Armie would have a job to go to next year, and they couldn’t keep dragging the kids around like this, not with three of them.

He felt the slight shifting of the baby against his cheek through Armie’s skin.

Damn it, he was warm and comfortable and he had his whole family right here. So what if he got fired?

“You know we’re going to have to go home, right?” Armie said quietly, one hand running gently through Ben’s hair. “We’re a distraction for you, and other than winding Poe up there’s not much for us to do here. Plus, I miss my house. The maids keep changing the bedding, I don’t like it.”

“Nesting instinct?”

“Yeah… why is your hair sticky?”

“It’s either theatrical blood or coffee.”

“Coffee?”

“Poe staged a fake breakup to throw off the gossip magazines.” Ben said. He looked up to meet Armie’s eye. He looked concerned. “The coffee was cold at the time.”

“I wish those damn rags didn’t exist, but I guess that’s another check in the pro-going-home column.”

Ben shrugged as best he could and nuzzled closer. He’d miss this. But then if Armie wasn’t here the motivation to get back to him sooner would probably help him do better work.

* * *

As soon as he stepped through the front door the house smelled weird. Not wrong as such- it was definitely a scent that Armitage knew- but whatever the source it was slightly off. Like someone new trying to replicate a favourite childhood recipe without access to the right brands.

He was so distracted trying to place the smell that he almost stepped on Millicent when she ran up to twine between his feet.

“Mew!!”

“Sorry sweetheart,” he murmured, awkwardly crouching to rub her ears. She looked well fed, even if she was absolutely livid about his absence.

Behind him the twins threw themselves about in their pushchair, clearly eager to get their sticky fingers on ‘Miwee’.

“Hey, you’re home early, don’t tell me you dumped him too?” A smug voice asked from the kitchen doorway. His former housemate was leaning against the countertop, stick thin arms crossed to pull the orange and grey plaid of his fiancé’s shirt around him. He looked much healthier that he had the last time Armitage saw him in person.

“Seriously, Thanisson, you have to stop reading that shit or it’s going to rot your brain,” Armitage said drily, stepping forward for a hug and finding himself hit with a wave of the ‘weird’ scent.

He tried to be subtle about sniffing a bit more deeply but from the way Thanisson laughed he didn’t manage it.

“Of course I don’t believe that stuff,” Thanisson said, not addressing the elephant in the room. “I’m not entirely stupid. But it was a bloody hilarious photo. He looks good wearing coffee, someone should suggest that for a photo shoot. Anyway, I’d have had to call you to come back soon anyway. You’ve had an appointment letter for your thesis defence.”

“Oh.” His heart rate had been pretty normal a second ago. He’d been thinking about domestic things, not panicking about his entire future.

“It’s not ‘til next month, but I know you like to get stuff prepped as early as possible.” Thanisson said in a tone that counted as soothing for him. “Some more good news- you’ll not miss the wedding.”

“Right, uh, thanks.” Armitage said vaguely. He’d forgotten all about the wedding.

“You have to be there, you’re the best man. And I can’t be the only one not drinking.”

The part of Armitage’s brain that was still worrying about his thesis threw itself off course out of self preservation.

“Not drinking? Oh. Oh wow, it worked?!”

Thanisson gave him the exact same look that Millicent used to give him when she got into the cream.

It almost covered the note of uncertainty when he went on, “I suppose I should volunteer for some babysitting shifts, then? For practice? Matt was hoping to we could.”

“Sure, we can sort something out.”

* * *

When Armie mentioned a date night to celebrate Ben’s return at the end of filming he’d expected… well… a date. Of some kind. Armie was pregnant so obviously drinking was out and they’d never been ones for dancing, but a nice meal would have been good. Even an evening catching up on some two player tabletop games, or cuddling up with a takeaway and box sets would have fulfilled his ‘date’ requirements.

Instead they’d ended up in Armie’s office, with Ben sitting on the floor surrounded by paper while Armie paced around the room practicing answers to every possible permutation of every possible question about his thesis.

They had the takeaway at least, a random selection of things from the local Indian place because Armie wasn’t sure what the baby wanted and right now he seemed too stressed to eat much of any one thing.

Privately Ben thought that staying at home was probably a good thing, given that this was Matt and Thanisson’s first babysitting attempt. Something about being in the same house seemed like a good idea, but still, this wasn’t exactly relaxing.

“You know I can’t really help you practice, right?” He said when Armie turned to look at him after a long and no doubt erudite speech about a subject he couldn’t even begin to understand. “You sound incredibly confident, babe! You’ve always had a way with words but I can’t say whether you’re right. I mean, I’m _sure_ you’re right, you know your stuff, and you could persuade me of anything but… it’s not me you need to convince. I’m a historian! Well, I was, now I take my clothes off for money so…”

Armie’s expression had been getting flatter with ever word but finally he laughed at Ben’s description of his job and some of the tension left the room.

“Sorry, I just want to do the best I can.”

“I know, but you’ve got a week left and right now you look like you need to relax.”

“How, though?”

Ben crossed his legs and held out his arms. “Well, you could come sit in my lap and eat some food, and talk to me down here instead of pacing around like a caged animal. And then we could go up to bed. In the attic.”

He couldn’t be absolutely sure which offer had finally convinced Armie to relax, but the happy little shiver the Omega gave but would never acknowledge at the mention of his nesting room gave Ben a pretty good idea.

Ben might struggle with some things, but when it came to looking after Armie he thought he was getting pretty damn good.

* * *

Armitage couldn’t have said what happened during his thesis defence if he’d tried. It was like his brain held up a big cardboard [REDACTED] sign every time he tried to think about what happened in that room.

He remembered the preparation- hours spent in front of the mirror trying to persuade his suit to fit properly around his bump, forcing himself to eat despite his nerves, and the relief when he found the gift Ben had left on the bed before he left for his early morning train.

The package had contained a tie that Ben had been wearing under his clothes for the last week. The scent on it had been like taking the best anxiety medication in the world. The fabric had been against Ben’s claim mark, as close to the source as possible, and that made the effect all the more potent. It was a delight to hold, and wearing it felt like Ben was hugging him.

After fastening the tie he didn’t actively remember anything until he was sitting here in the corridor waiting to find out if he’d been successful.

His advisor and the rest of the department hadn’t actually suggested all that many changes to his thesis before he submitted it. There had been several pages he couldn’t remember writing but checking his old files revealed that he’d written them during the worst of Ben’s illness. He really had been much closer to getting this done that he’d thought, and if Ben hadn’t got sick he would probably have done his defence before the twins were born.

He should have felt confident about his work, but he still couldn’t focus on what they’d actually asked him in that room only minutes ago.

He was trying to resist the urge to sniff at the fabric to reduce his heart rate when the baby- probably objecting to his stress levels- decided to perform some kind of synchronised swimming routine inside him.

He was so busy focusing on that prolonged bout of activity that he didn’t hear the door open at the end of the corridor.

“Doctor Solo?” Professor Sloane called. “Can you come back through, please?”

Armitage was already at the door before he realised what she’d said.


	18. Chapter 18

“Have you ever been to a Beta wedding before?” Dopheld asked as he navigated the brand new minivan carefully through the winding country lanes.

Ben had bought the minivan for the family, and he  _ had _ promised Dopheld that he’d sort out a British drivers license as soon as he could, though so far he’d been too busy. Armitage was pretty certain he’d pass his test before Ben ever get around to it. 

Their city was small enough that they didn’t really need a car to get around, but it was easier on all of them not be in rental vehicles for special events like this. The minivan still had that new car smell, which was infinitely preferable than the scent of strange Alphas. Getting out of the house was already difficult, even though it was only August. The baby wasn’t even due until December. 

Armitage shifted in his seat, wondering if the baby had got the memo on that. Maybe it was just the extra space but it felt much stronger than the twins ever did. With the way it wriggled it was either going to be a boxer or a footballer. 

“What was the question?”

“Beta weddings. I’ve never been to one. No one ever wanted to pay to cater for all my siblings so if there was an invite it was only ever for my parents.”

“Lucky you,” Ben muttered from his place between the twins in the second row. “It feels like I’ve been to hundreds. I was only a kid though so maybe my memory is exaggerating.”

“Same. Brendol used to drag me to so many society weddings every summer. There were matching outfits.” Armitage flinched at the memory. “Urgh. Dress shorts. Somewhere there must be pictures of me looking like Damien from The Omen. We weren’t allowed to eat anything in case we messed up our clothes, so we just had to stand there while the adults talked. ‘Be seen and not heard’.”

“I always trashed my suit before we even made it into the building. I think letting it happen was Han’s attempt at escaping but after the first few ‘let’s go home to get changed’ Leia got wise and made me sit there covered in mud for the whole six hours. Didn’t put me off though. Plus I didn’t have to be in the photos.”

“Six hours?” Dopheld said almost to himself. “What do they do for six hours?”

Armitage gave him a sympathetic look. “Oh, I’ve been to longer. You’ve got to: arrive; mill about for a while; go into the ceremony room; argue over seats; pretend to be interested in a bunch of speeches; endure some poems; cringe at the vows; go outside; mill about some more; pose for too many photos; mill about but this time with bucks fizz while more photos happen; then there’s a sit down meal; yet more speeches; usually an argument; cake cutting; more milling about; maybe a nap in a hotel room if you’re lucky.  _ Then _ there’s the evening do.”

“Oh god, there’s more?”

“Armie, I think you’re scaring him. And _ he’s _ driving!” Ben laughed.

“Don’t worry, the evening do is usually just dancing and drinking, or loitering by the buffet table until you can politely escape. There might be a fist fight but-”

“What?!”

“Depends on the guests.”

“I once went a wedding where the whole wedding party got arrested. Apparently being an admiral’s daughter doesn’t help if you try to set light to your maid of honours dress because she looks better than you do.”

That made even Armitage blink in horror. He’d been to some awkward weddings but the tensions were usually on a political rather than physical scale.

They all sat in silence for a while, recalling Matt’s reputation for being a hot head, and Thanisson’s habit of running his mouth without thinking. 

“I’m sure tomorrow is going to be fine…” Dopheld said slowly, with the air of a man who wasn’t sure in the slightest.  

* * *

The wedding was being held in a former country house turned hotel and spa. Matt’s family had booked the entire place for two nights which was convenient for the guests, but sadly meant there was little opportunity to escape from socialising.

If Ben had been hoping that Thanisson’s personality was as much an anomaly as his Omega designation then he was sorely disappointed. 

Every single member of his family recognised Kylo Ren.

He’d never taken so many selfies with complete strangers in his entire life.

What was worse- more than one of them grabbed his ass in the process. He was pretty sure the worst offender had been Thanisson’s grandmother. She’d definitely winked at him.

On the other hand Matt’s family didn’t recognise him, but at least half of them seemed to take his size as a challenge. 

It was August. It was hot. There was no dress code for the night before the wedding. So he’d worn what he’d usually wear in this weather- a nice pair of jeans and a short sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up. 

Most of the clothes he wore these days had been gifted to him by the agency, so they had been tailored to fit. Or rather they’d been tailored to strain over his pecs and biceps because the agency knew what people wanted to see. 

Ben had forgotten how big that made him look.

Apparently Matt was the smallest member of his immediate family, and somehow the least irritable. 

If he had to talk his way out of one more arm wrestling match he felt like he might go mad. He’d taken to carrying the twins around as an excuse. He never outright said ‘sorry I can’t help you prove your masculinity, gotta be a good dad’ but he certainly thought it loud enough.

Armie didn’t seem to be faring much better, he was casually holding onto the back of a chair for ‘support’ but really it was to stop people touching his bump without permission. He’d never really encountered that before- since he’d kept himself isolated for most of his first pregnancy- but apparently his belly was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Ben had to keep fighting down a weird mix of pride and protectiveness. That was his Mate and his baby in there, these people had no right to be touching them. But he knew Armie could hold his own. 

Right now it was Thanisson’s own mother who was hovering beside him and asking completely inappropriate questions in breathless tones. Ben didn’t quite catch what she asked but he certainly heard Armie’s ice cold reply.

“I would never dream of asking you how your son was conceived, so I would appre-”

“Oh we got drunk at a pool party in Marbella,” she interrupted like it was the most mundane topic in the world. “We ended up having sex on a sun lounger. Big Than didn’t speak any English at the time but, you know, some languages are universal. Fortunately we ran into each other again at the airport two weeks later and one of his friends gave me his number.”

Ben loved his daughters with all his heart but in that moment he wished he’d had his hands free so he could get a photo of the expression on both Armie and Dopheld’s faces. It was a look would have been best described as horror meets regret meets morbid fascination. 

Seemingly out of self preservation Dopheld changed the subject by asking, “Big Than?”

“Well, yes. Little Than’s dad is also called Than so we call them Big and Little.”

“Little Than?”

A few tables over Thanisson had turned around from his own conversation to glare at his mother. 

“I… always thought Thanisson was his first name.” Dopheld said with a carefully straight face.

“Well, you’re a different sort of foreign to Than so you wouldn’t know it’s a patronymic. It means son of Than.”

Ignoring the ‘different sort of foreign’ comment Dopheld asked, “So, he’s Than son of Than? And if he has a boy that baby will be son of Than son of Than?”

By this stage Armie was staring straight ahead like he was having an out of body experience. Several members of Matt’s family had begun to listen with interest too. 

Ben couldn’t tell whether Thanisson’s mother was unaware of the amusement people were getting from the conversation or if she was just completely accustomed to it. 

She smiled brightly as she replied, “Oh no, then it would be Matthiasson but I think Little Than is going to take Matt’s surname anyway, so the baby will have that. I do hope if its a boy they’ll name it after its granddad though.”

At that moment someone across the room called her over to settle an argument about tomorrow’s schedule, breaking up the crowd and leaving Armie and Dopheld standing together in thoughtful silence. 

“Well.” Ben said when he joined them. 

Armie shrugged. “My name means alone, and is also a brand of toilet. You work under the name of a fantasy character. We can’t exactly say anything can we?”

“No, you can’t.” Thanisson had appeared behind them with a glass of lemonade and expression that suggested the bartender had forgotten to put sugar in it.

“My birth certificate said ‘Benning’, I just didn’t let people call me that.” Ben said. He almost patted Thanisson companionably on the back, but then thought better of it. Even if he wasn’t showing yet most Omegas wouldn’t appreciate the contact.

“Exactly.”

As if reading Ben’s mind Armie did put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “So, we should just keep calling you Thanisson then?”

“Please.” Thanisson’s face finally relaxed, then turned into a smirk. “Although, with Matt’s surname, I am kinda tempted to make people call me by my full name.”

“Why? What’s Matt’s name?” Dopheld asked the question like it was a loaded gun. 

“Matthias Fayre.”

“Oh my god.”

* * *

Armitage had never really been a fan of weddings, but by the time the main meal was coming to an end he was surprised how much he was actually enjoying the festivities.

Perhaps it was the fact that he actually liked the people getting married, and his father wasn’t there trying to sell him off to other guests every five minutes.

Perhaps it was the excellent hog roast picnic that was served in place of a formal sit down dinner- certainly the baby approved of that if his appetite was any indication.

Or maybe it was simply the fact that very little of it had gone how he’d expected. 

The ceremony had been shorter than any other Beta wedding he could remember. There had been no tuneless songs or bad poems, and nothing that could really be called a sermon. The clerk had made a short speech, asked him for the rings and then let him sit down until it was time to witness the documents.

In fact the only thing that had threatened to drag on was Matt’s heartfelt custom vows, which had been cut off by happy tears he couldn’t speak through and that made Thanisson pause every few words to kiss him. 

It had been strange but kind of sweet to see his usually acerbic friend being so romantic.

Everyone had been so busy cheering and throwing confetti at the declaration of ‘husband and husband’ that no one reacted at the follow up presentation of ‘Mr Matthias and Mr Than Fayre’. 

Though maybe the guests were just nicer than Armitage and didn’t find it funny. He did think the lack of an actual fanfare at the end of the ceremony was a wasted opportunity, but he wasn’t going to say that.

In fact he still didn’t know what he  _ was _ going to say, and the time for his own speech was getting ever closer. The revelations of the night before had shown him that he didn’t actually know all that much about Thanisson’s personal life, so he couldn’t rely on childhood anecdotes or many embarrassing tales from university. He’d have to think of something else.

The picnic was taking place on a little hill behind the house that had been covered with artfully arranged blankets and wooden tables. They’d had been offered one of the tables but had chosen to sit on the ground so the girls could practice their crawling. Every few minutes Kyla would carefully stand up and attempt to take a step before falling back onto her bum. 

Armitage was beginning to suspect that he’d be getting up with about the same degree of dignity. 

As he was considering that predicament along with the question of his non-existent speech he realised that someone was politely tapping a glass to get everyone’s attention. 

It didn’t work. 

After a few more seconds of futile tapping he heard Matt sigh, breathe deep and- 

**“HEY! SHUT UP!”**

That mostly worked, though there was a wave of grumbling.

Matt half grunted a thanks then turned to look at the man to Thanisson’s left. Armitage had only met him briefly but if he hadn’t been told this was ‘Big Than’ he wouldn’t have guessed. He looked young enough to be Thanisson’s brother and far too thin to be known as ‘Big’ anything. In fact with his early pregnancy glow Thanisson looked more like the one who deserved that title. 

“Right,” Big Than said, clapping his hands together once like a school teacher getting the attention of the class. “Right, well. Thank you all for coming- the day has been great so far, I hope you’ll make the evening just as good. Now, I had a look online and apparently there’s a bunch of stuff I’m supposed to say- but most of it was soppy and a lot of it was boring, so I’ll spare you most of that.

“My Little Than was my sidekick and my best friend from the day he was born- two months early because he likes to make trouble. We learned English together, he taught me how to be a dad, and I taught him how to fight for himself, even after we found his was an Omega. There weren’t any in my family, or in the wife’s, so at first we got a lot of advice on how to treat him. It was all rubbish, acting like someone is delicate just for what they’ve got in their underwear.

“I’m not a big man, but I was a flyweight boxing champion for years, and I knew my Little Than was just as good as me. And he was. Only he was more vicious- physically and verbally. Which I’m sure most of you already know.”

There was laughter from the crowd then, and someone at the back shouted “he got that mouth off his mum!”

“Watch it, or she’ll have you!” Big Than replied with a wink. “Anyway, he wanted to use that clever head of his, so he went and got more education than the rest of the family combined. Because he’s the strongest man I know. Well, until he introduced me to his man. 

“Matt’s a breath of fresh air, and exactly what Than needs in his life, and I’m proud that I’m gonna be able to call him my son-in-law and the father of my grandkid.” 

There was a pause while Big Than wiped his eyes and patted his son on the back.

“Well, I guess I lied about cutting out the soppy stuff.” He said before sitting down again. “I’m proud of you lads.”

Matt gave him a tight smile and lumbered to his feet, which he stared at for most of his own speech. 

Once he’d thanked his father-in-law, the other parents, the guests and the caterers he paused, then said, “It’s traditional now for a groom to talk about how they met their husband and fell in love. But Thanisson says I can’t tell you, because he’s going to sell his autobiography to HBO. So I guess you’ll have to wait and buy the box set.”

Several people whooped and whistled.

“But I am allowed to say that I fell for Thanisson the very first time he told me to ‘fuck off and give him a kiss’. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life doing just that.” He waved a hand to Armitage then. “Now I’ll leave you in the capable hands of our best man.”

After two attempts to stand on his own, and much to his chagrin, Ben had to half haul him to his feet. 

“I fear my competence has been rather oversold,” he began, “but I think it’s fair to say we’ve all been doing our fair share of googling this week, so let’s just say anything wrong with my speech is the internet’s fault.” Both Big Than and Matt nodded in agreement. “My name is Armitage Solo, I used to share a house with Thanisson at university.”

Pointing at his belly, he went on, “Obviously, I’m an Omega, just like him. So we got along like a house on fire- you know people screaming, property damage, the usual.”

That got a laugh, though it was Matt and Dopheld that laughed the loudest.

“People don’t get along just because of their designation. It’s reductionist to think that they will. Thanisson was a mouthy little git, I was a grumpy bastard who wanted to be left alone. We might have continued just the same for the rest of time, if we hadn’t got to know each other. If Thanisson hadn’t shown that there’s a heart of gold under all the bitchiness. He, and Matt, helped me get through one of the worst periods of my life. They didn’t have to, I hadn’t even met Matt until he was already helping me, but they did. Because they’re good people. 

“You hear a lot that Omegas belong with Alphas, and Betas belong with each other, but that’s nonsense. People who love each other belong together, people willing to work to make it work belong together. You all know what these two they’re like- determined and headstrong isn’t the half of it. And that’s what makes them perfect for each other. 

“It feels a bit patronising to say that I’m proud of the life they’ve made, but I’ve rarely seen a couple so happy together. I know whatever the future brings for them and their growing family, they’ve got the strength to take control and make it theirs.

“Now, if you could all join me in the toasting the happy couple- to the Fayres. May it always be fair weather for you!”

He winked at Thanisson on the pun. He got the finger back, but Thanisson was smiling, so it was probably okay.

* * *

“Why did we get a room on second floor?” Armie sighed as Ben helped him up the creaking antique staircase.

“You know we picked the suite so there’d be enough space for the kids and Dopheld as well.” Ben reminded him as gently as he could. “The other option was a king size and two cots, and I don’t think Dopheld would enjoy sharing a bed with your cold feet.”

“Well my feet aren’t cold now, they’re on bloody fire and there’s no sodding lift.”

The noise Armie made at the end of his reply was close to a growl and Ben finally remembered that trying to reason with his pregnant, tired Mate was a very poor choice indeed. He bit back his first follow up comment- which had been about maybe not dancing for an hour- and switched to being helpful instead.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

Armie gave him a look that was clearly weighing up the pros and cons between dignity and comfort. “Are you sure that’s safe?”

“I can deadlift more than twice your weight, babe, it’s fine.”

“Yes, but you don’t usually do that on stairs do you?”

Ben shrugged and turned the motion into snatching his Mate up into his arms. “I dunno, if I’m in a rush sometimes I’ll compress my routine.”

There was a brief moment when it seemed like Armie might object, but then he settled his arms around Ben’s neck and relaxed into the hold. 

“It’s been a good night, it’s a shame I got tired so soon,” Armie said against his neck, his breathe warm through his collar against his claim mark. “You can go back to the party you know, once I’m upstairs. Take Dopheld back down if he’s still awake and try to get him to relax. He deserves to have some fun.”

It had been a good night, and a good day. Ben had been a bit worried about any potential fallout from Armie’s speech. That fear had been put to rest when multiple members of Thanisson’s family high fived him for it. Armie had never been high fived by a grandmother before. Later Matt’s dad tried to fist-bump him. 

They were all a bit much for Armie, and for Dopheld, which was probably why he’d volunteered to take the girls up to bed when they got cranky. But Armie was right, he did deserve a chance to relax.

“I don’t think this is his kind of scene, too many eligible singles trying to chat him up.” Ben said. “But I might be able to persuade him to join me for a bourbon on the terrace or something.”

Armie hummed and nuzzled closer. He seemed to be half asleep already.

“It’s been a good night, but I’m glad it’s the last major event we’ve got before the baby arrives. I just want my bed, and my nest, and some peace and quiet.”

* * *

Two weeks later they received three separate invitations to the same charity gala- one from Leia addressed to both of them, one from Ben’s modelling agency, and one from the CEO of Chempat Applied Technologies- Armitage’s new employer.

It might have been acceptable to turn down one invite, but three was just impossible.

Especially since Armitage hadn’t actually started his role with Chempat yet, so the fact that his boss already wanted to help him network was an opportunity he couldn’t miss, no matter how much he wanted to stay at home.

However he could complain about it, which he did, at great length.

The event wasn’t until mid-October, and fortunately it was being held in Manchester- only two hours away- so they wouldn’t need to trek to London, but those were the only benefits Armitage had been able to see.

Formal menswear for Omegas at such a late stage of pregnancy simply didn’t exist. They simply weren’t expected to be out and about. Ordinary menswear looked sloppy or just didn’t fit. Standard Beta maternity wear was absolutely out of the question. 

After a few days of arguing and panic Ben had used his contacts in the fashion industry to get something custom made. It had cost him the promise of a few photoshoots and a lot of free promotion for the brand but the end result was stunning. 

Armitage was used to loose fitting tops that draped over his bump and left him looking like a barge. Instead the designer had made a shirt that was gathered at the sides to deliberately cling to his middle, while the jacket skimmed straight down to highlight the shape of him. There was no attempt to conceal or minimise what he was- a very pregnant Omega.

Ben had kissed him senseless the first time he tried it on, and took about eight dozen photos for his private collection. There was even talk of getting some professional quality pictures, but Armitage put a stop to that. He wasn’t the model in the family and he had no desire to start now. Besides, there were always photographers at these things.

* * *

Leia sent a limo for them, which must have cost a fortune given the distance, but she’d probably realised it was the best way to ensure they would attend. Armie didn’t want to stay away from home overnight, and Ben driving over the Pennines in the dark wasn’t really the safest option.

At least it had given them both a chance to relax together in private before the stress of the red carpet. It seemed like anyone who was anyone was here, and paparazzi wanted to hastle every last one of them.

Ben had never actually been to a gala dinner before, not  _ officially _ at least. He’d snuck into a few of Leia’s as a kid, including one memorable occasion when he’d stowed away in the trunk of her car and fallen asleep back there instead of actually getting into the venue.

He’d never imagined he’d ever be invited to this sort of thing as a guest- he’d hadn’t planned to follow in his mother’s footsteps, and even after his modelling career had taken off he hadn’t expected to ever be interesting enough for this. Now people were shouting questions to him about the movie that was about to come out, and the brands he was planning on working with next.

Of course he couldn’t answer any of that- legally and because he was too busy focusing on the joy of walking up the steps with his Mate on his arm. His stunningly handsome, heavily pregnant Mate, here for all the world to see and admire. He felt like he was dreaming.

Even after he pulled in all those favours to get him a suit, he hadn’t actually expected Armie to agree to come along- he was well into nesting mode at this point- so being together was a surprise he intended to enjoy to the fullest. Working away so often had Ben missing his Mate enough that he would have skipped a work event to stay home with him, but apparently Armie missed him enough to be brave.

He wondered whether Armie would still be named as a mystery Mate by the gossip rags or if anyone would bother to make the journalistic effort to check to guest list. 

Oh. That was a point he hadn’t considered. 

How were they recorded on the guest list?

They’d had three invites, so were there spaces booked for Armitage Solo, Ben Solo,  _ and _ Kylo Ren? Would there be an empty chair waiting for one of his identities? And if so could he get two plates of food into the bargain? In his experience there was never enough food at fancy events. Everyone was always on a diet.

His train of thought was derailed by someone up ahead shouting what sounded like a pair of names. 

“I thought they only did that in movies?” He whispered to Armie as the line moved forward at a snail’s pace. Dopheld had been watching a movie just like that with the girls only the week before.

Armie rolled his eyes at him and shrugged a little. He seemed suddenly tense after what had been a good start.

“I’ve been to things where the hosts absolutely  _ had _ to make sure their guests knew who else was in attendance, you know, to show off who they networked with.” he frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe the charity is showing off their connections. Or someone in the management team has dreams of being in My Fair Lady.”

That had the movie. Now Ben had ‘ _ On The Street Where You Live _ ’ stuck in his head. Rather than fight the earworm, he wrapped an arm around Armie’s waist and began to hum the tune quietly against his hair. Maybe that would help relax him.

Armie gave him a tolerant smile that sadly didn’t last long.

At the head of the line the compère called out the next names.

“Brigadier Brendol Hux, and his wife Mrs Maratelle Woodthorpe-Hux.”

“Oh fuck.” Ben said, probably too loudly. He’d felt Armie’s whole stance tighten inward as soon as the word ‘Brendol’ was out of the compère’s mouth.

They were far enough back in the line that they couldn’t see the people currently at the front, but Ben did remember seeing the back of a large greying redhead a few minutes earlier. It had never occurred to him that Brendol would show his face at a charity event. Unless it was to close down the charity. 

“They didn’t see us,” Armie said quietly, “they were looking away the whole time. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was them.”

“Do you want to leave?”

Getting Armie and the baby away from those horrible people seemed like the best course of action to him. Well, his Alpha side wanted to rip Brendol’s throat out with his bare teeth but he had to be realistic.

Armie shook his head. “There’s a whole bank of photographers behind us Ben, people will ask questions.”

“I don’t care.”

Where before he’d cringed now Armie drew himself up instead, shoulders back and spine as straight as an arrow. Sometimes Ben forgot how tough his Omega could be. 

“I care.” He said. “And I won’t let them win. If they see us on the red carpet in the news but realise we were never actually in there then they’ll know why we left. I refuse to give them the satisfaction.”

It was hard to speak around the knot of pride in his throat but Ben managed to say, “Okay. So what do we do?”

“The same thing you do to any complete stranger you don’t respect or care about- don’t give them the time of day.”

“Uh, excuse me, sirs?” A neat little man interrupted in a neat little voice. “Can I take your names please?”

Ben was closest, so he took the lead.

“Do you need a particular order, Alpha first or anything?”

“No sir, we are a modern organisation.”  The man practically oozed good manners and charm. “Your preference is our preference.”

“In that case…” Ben leaned in to whisper, knowing Armie would approve and hoping the surprise would cheer him up. 

The man turned and whispered to the compère who in turn announced-

“Dr Armitage Solo, and his Mate Mr Ben ‘Kylo Ren’ Solo.”

Armie’s expression was a smirk rather than a smile, but it was one Ben knew well.

“I thought you said you were keeping your personas separate?” He whispered as Ben escorted him into the room. Only a small portion of the other guests had glanced up, but so far the only face they recognised in the crowd was Han. There was no sign of Brendol or Maratelle.

“I wanted to make it clear who your Alpha really is,” Ben said. He gave Han a little wave. Leia turned to wave back. “My family are no fans of Brendol, and I know the feeling is mutual. My identity is an open secret, and this was as close as I could get to saying ‘Armie got himself a Skywalker, bitch’.”

Armie snorted in amusement. “Honestly, shortening my name would probably have irritated him just as much as knowing who your grandparents were. He hated that sort of thing. ‘Familiarity’.”

The last word was dripping with disdain as Armie pitched his voice to Brendol’s level.

Ben couldn’t help but laugh and run his free hand over Armie’s bump. The baby followed the contact with a flurry of kicks.

“And here you are,” Ben purred, “walking evidence of just how familiar I’ve been with you.”

Armie gave a mock scandalised gasp, though he held Ben’s hand in place rather than bat it away.

He leaned close to murmur, “you know, I was his only natural issue? Maratelle brought her own brood in after her last husband mysteriously drown but they never had any more. I don’t give a damn about anyone else’s fertility, but  _ he _ absolutely hated that he’d fucked half the staff and only ever got me. By his own standards you’re already a much better Alpha than him. Frankly, you’re the best Alpha I know.”

Ben felt himself puff up at the compliment.

“Careful, those buttons aren’t rated for that kind of pressure,” Armie laughed, patting the front of Ben’s tightly tailored shirt. He was finally starting to sound relaxed again.

* * *

They hadn’t been talking to Ben’s parents and his ‘uncle’ Chewie for more than five minutes when the CEO of Chempat politely inserted herself into the conversation.

Although she’d never worked at Scuderia Corell during Han’s racing days she’d met him at other functions and was able to happily reminisced with him for awhile before she led Armitage over to her own group. It was a manoeuvre Armitage wasn’t sure he’d ever have the social skills to properly pull off, though that was part of why he was here. 

Finally being at a higher class social setting as an autonomous adult made him painfully aware of how little he’d ever actually learned following Brendol around during his university days. None of this had ever been expected of him- both as a child and later as an eligible Omega he had only ever existed to be seen but not heard. 

Part of him knew he’d excelled as a teacher and a colleague in his department, but these were not all academics. He wasn’t entirely sure how he would talk to them without relying on tactics that wouldn’t serve him well.

Ever the protective Alpha Ben had followed along too, keeping one arm slung unobtrusively around his waist at all times. At some level Armitage wondered if that would make him seem weak. It shouldn’t matter. Other people were here with spouses, most Omegas in his condition wouldn’t even be out of the house. But still...

It soon became clear he needn’t have worried. 

The first person he was introduced to was an older woman in a backless dress that clearly revealed her claim mark. She was the head of R&D at Corellian Engineering- of which Chempat was a subsidiary- and was eager to talk about Armitage’s plans once he joined the company. As she spoke he realised her larger Alpha wife was standing off to one side, talking to another spouse about golf and taking time off with their grandchildren. 

More people joined the discussion, a comfortable collection of ages and designations- not all of them immediately obvious- and not one of them mentioned his condition. There were plenty of glances towards his bump, but that seemed to be more out of an effort to give him space than anything else. 

He was amazed by how naturally he fitted into the conversation. He’d worried he be left behind but he was soon engaged in such an productive discussion on testing standards that another of the guests was actually taking notes.

Despite his earlier misgivings these were clearly his people.

Someone offered him a drink from a passing tray, someone else intercepted the glass and switched it for orange juice before he even said a word, and it was all done almost without a thought. 

“The old guard will tell you accommodations are expensive,” a man who had to be at least seventy was saying to Ben in a side conversation, “but frankly being short sighted enough to exclude anyone is the real expense. You can’t grow if you shut your doors to the best and brightest.”

Armitage was interested in Ben’s response but he didn’t get to hear it because he was being enthusiastically introduced to another man. Not that he needed any introduction with his trademark round glasses and shaved head. 

“Of course, Mr Tambor, it’s an honour to meet you,” Armitage said, his hand held out politely to one of the most powerful men in the industry. 

Wat Tambor, COO of Techno Union- the parent company of what felt like half the productions companies in the world- touched his fingers briefly, the appropriate greeting for an Alpha meeting someone else’s Omega.

As the man nodded his head in acknowledgement Armitage felt Ben’s arm tighten briefly, but assumed it was just an instinct Alpha response. 

“I’ve heard a great deal about your work Dr Solo,” Wat began, “I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do for Chempat, and the group as a whole…”

* * *

Brendol was standing three feet away from them, apparently listening to a tall gaunt man who looked like a geriatric Dracula, but clearly watching Armie from the corner of his eye.

If Ben had had hackles they would have been raised instantly. He wanted to growl. He wanted to put himself physically in between Armie and that evil sack of shit. He wanted to start a fight. Of course, he couldn’t do any of those things. 

Even if he didn’t pay much attention to business news he understood what a big deal it was for his Mate to be talking to someone like Wat Tambor so early in his career. He couldn’t mess up this opportunity just because Armie’s sperm donor was standing a few feet away. 

Just when Ben turned his focus back to the conversation Wat said, “you know, you look very familiar.”

Ben opened his mouth to make a remark about billboards but realised Wat was still speaking to Armie. From the brief glance to the side Wat had also noticed the presence of Brendol Hux. These people all moved in the same circles, they had to know Brendol and his family, even if Armie had only registered as a rare redhead Omega in the past.

Armie tipped his head and looked thoughtful for a moment. Ben couldn’t tell if he’d seen Brendol or not.

“I’m pretty certain we haven’t met before, Sir.”

“Your family perhaps?”

“My mother died when I was very young.”

It was like being at a tennis match, only the ball was a grenade that could go off with one wrong move. The CEO of Chempat looked concerned; the women from Corellian was watching with detached interest; Brendol wasn’t even pretending not to listen any more. 

“Your father, then?” The question was asked as simply as if they were talking about the weather. “Who was he?”

Armie held his chin high, radiating iron confidence and said, “my father? Oh he was absolutely no one of any consequence.”

He waved his hand, like someone shooing away an irritating fly. 

“I promise you, you won’t recognise me from him.”

Wat Tambor’s mouth turned up into a small smile. 

“Right answer.”

Somewhere to Ben’s left he swore he heard someone whisper ‘holy shit’ but he was too busy staring Brendol down to turn and see who it was. Brendol looked like he was on the verge of an apoplectic fit, Ben didn’t want to miss it.

“I understand my father-in-law raced for Scuderia Corell, once upon a time. They’re another of your subsidiaries, aren’t they?” Armie went on with a bright smile. Only Ben would have noticed that he was shaking.

Wat Tambor laughed and began to tell a story about Han Solo tearing out vital equipment and getting the racing team fined while simultaneously winning the season. Behind him Uncle Chewie had appeared at Brendol’s side, and was looming over him as only a seven foot tall person could.

Without moving away from Armie Ben nodded toward the door and mouthed the word ‘leave’.

After a moment or two Brendol took the hint.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any triggers, check out the end notes, and as always take care of yourselves my lovelies.

The kitchen floor was dirty. It was the most annoying thing in the world. He’d tried to ignore it but every time he waddled into the room his eyes went straight to the dirt. 

He was going to have to clean it or he’d go mad. 

Of course, he could just ask Ben or Dopheld to do it for him. But what an odd thought to have. Maybe he was already going mad- Dopheld wasn’t here and he hadn’t heard from Ben in months. He didn’t even know if Ben had beaten his cancer. 

He was all alone here in Scotland, just him and the cat and the twins who were weeks past their due date. He was all alone and if anything happened to them there would be no one to help. 

Millicent meowed at him from her bed in the corner.

“You’re not helping,” he muttered, wondering how much of the dirt on the floor was down to muddy paw prints. 

She meowed at him again, feet loud on the tiles as she crossed to where he was kneeling, her bottle brush tail making his belly twitch where it brushed over his skin. 

His belly twitched again. His legs were wet. His back hurt. He was in labour and he was alone and stuck on the kitchen floor and miles from help and-

Something slapping him across the nose.

Armitage woke up, his heart racing and his hands wrapped around his belly. The baby rolled lazily in place, apparently undisturbed by his nightmare.

Millicent thwapped him again.

He opened his eyes to find her standing on Ben’s empty pillow. She had her paw raised in the air, clearly ready and willing to give him a third smack if necessary.

“Okay, okay, I’m awake.”

She made a low growling noise to make sure he knew she was upset while she also nuzzled his face to show she still cared. She was definitely his cat.

“Sorry, sweetheart. Did I scare you?” He asked. 

He wondered what he’d been doing in his sleep. Ben wasn’t here to ask but whatever it had been Millie wasn’t happy about it. 

Maybe he’d had some more false contractions. He’d never had them with the twins but this time around they’d almost become part of his evening routine- eat dinner, put the kids to bed, watch TV with Dopheld while gritting his teeth through the cramps, shower, then bed.

He didn’t feel like he was in labour. Not that he’d really felt that way last time either.

Rolling onto his back he ran his hands over his bump more carefully, then slipped one into his boxers. The seam that would be his birth canal had loosened up in the last few days but not enough for the baby to be coming just yet. He still had over a month to go after all.

It would be just his luck if this baby decided to be early though. There were only three days to go until the girls’ first birthday. He really didn’t have time to be giving birth right now. 

Under his fingers his belly stayed relaxed and the baby kept on lazily turning. Nothing was happening. 

He’d just had a nightmare. 

Millicent wriggled down into the space between his shoulder and neck, curled up into a ball, and purred herself to sleep. 

He did not fall asleep.

Everytime he closed his eyes he could see the pattern of that damned kitchen floor, and feel the cold of the tiles against his knees that turned to the warmth of liquid on his legs. His heart rate wasn’t really going down.

Armitage hadn’t ever really thought about that day very much- he’d been too focused on raising twins on his own and then too busy rebuilding his life once Ben came back- but now he was nesting it seemed like his brain wanted to rehash it again.

It made no sense for him to be worried about that happening again. Ben only had a few more jobs to do before he’d scheduled some leave, and even if he did go into labour early he wouldn’t be alone. Dopheld was living in the annex, Thanisson was ten minutes walk away, his doctor and medical help were right on the doorstep. He’d even gotten a waterproof case so he could take his phone into the shower with him, just in case.

Everything was going to be fine. 

His brain gave him the metaphorical finger and replayed the moment he’d been forced to wrap Benja in an old tshirt because Kyla was coming too quickly for him to do anything else.

He wondered what time it was in Stavanger.

* * *

Ben swore and almost launched his phone across the room when the alarm went off.

He felt like he’d barely slept. He didn’t care what the director said about lighting and atmosphere. 5am was far too early a start time for an outdoor shoot halfway up a fucking mountain. 

Without opening his eyes he hit the snooze button and tossed the phone down onto the sheets beside him. The world wouldn’t end if he had nine more minutes of sleep. 

A very small tinny voice said “Ben?” 

“Hellooo?” His mostly asleep brain wondered if Norway had elves as well as the trolls his translator had been telling him about the day before. 

“Ben,” said the voice, “what’s wrong with the sound on your phone?” 

His Alpha hindbrain took control and snatched up the phone again as soon as it realised his Mate was speaking.

“Armie, are you okay?” He asked, his heart rate spiking when he saw the time at the top of the phone. It was only 2am. “Is the baby coming?”

“No, I don’t think so. I just… sorry I shouldn’t have woken you up.” Even though he had the phone to his ear now Armie’s voice still sounded very small.

“Hey, no, it’s okay. You can talk me, I’m your Alpha it’s my job. I was just worried. What’s wrong?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s stupid.”

“Armitage Solo, don’t make me call Dopheld to come check on you, just tell me what’s going on. It doesn’t matter that you woke me up, you doing all the hard work of making our baby, you can wake me up when ever you want.”

For a second Ben worried that Armie wasn’t going to answer him but he finally sighed, “I had a nightmare.”

Armie sounded so sad that Ben instantly felt terrible that he couldn’t give his Mate the hug he so clearly needed. 

“What about?” He asked. He could easily guess- he’d had a fair few anxiety dreams of his own about the pregnancy- but he didn’t want to put any extra fears into Armie’s head.

“I was back on the kitchen floor in Scotland. On my own.”

“Oh. Darling.”

“It felt so fucking real. There was no one there to help me and you were probably dead and anything could have gone wrong. I’m not sure I even felt as scared in the moment as I did then.”

“You’re not going to be alone-”

“I know that. I do. I won’t let that happen again, but… you can’t reason with dreams, Ben.”

Ben was already reaching for his laptop. “Do you want me to come home? I can find a flight.”

“No, Ben, you’re working.”

“Fuck work.”

“You’re going to be home in two days anyway, don’t… don’t fuck up this shoot for me.”

He knew his Mate well enough to hear the emphasis on ‘this’. 

“You want me to cancel the rest of my schedule?”

The reply was quiet but clear. “Please.”

“Done.” There wasn’t really a choice to be made there. There was nothing in his life more important than his family. “I’ll email them now.”

“No, Ben, it can wait, go get some sleep. What time is it there? Midnight? You need you sleep to look good in the morning.”

“Babe, it’s 2am.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry.”

“Armie you can ring me anytime you need to, you know that. Look. It’s Thursday today, Dopheld doesn’t have any labs this morning, I’m sure if you can’t sleep he won’t mind coming over. He’s practically nesting himself.”

“I don’t want to wake him up.”

“You know he’ll be more annoyed if he finds out you’ve been up all night. He’ll give you that look.” 

Even though they were on the phone Ben made the tight lipped expression Dopheld gave whenever he was annoyed. From the way he laughed Armie was probably picturing it too. 

“I miss you,” Ben said before he could think better of it.

“I miss you too.” Armie sighed. “I’m so proud of you, but I wish I could keep you at home with me all the time.”

“As soon as you’re done nesting you won’t mind me being out from under your feet again. What am I going to do all day at home while the kids at school and you’re off working?”

Armie gave a thoughtful hum. “Maybe I don’t want to be done nesting. Maybe I want you here so you can keep me full of babies all the time.”

Ben laughed and flopped back on the bed. The sudden change in Armie’s mood wasn’t a surprise- pregnancy hormones had his emotions shifting constantly, and Ben was glad he wasn’t focused on the fear anymore- but his words raised a different problem. 

“Armie,” Ben murmured while he tried to adjust the growing ‘problem’ in his shorts, “you can’t tell me to get some sleep and then go putting ideas like that in my head.”

“Or… we could talk some more about that idea, and maybe we’ll both get some sleep at the end of it. That would be more fun than waking Dopheld up.”

“Hmmm, true.” 

He was Mated to this man, they had two children and another on the way, and yet he was still blushing like an inexperienced teenager at the idea of having this kind of conversation. 

“Okay, you go first though, I’ve never done this before.”

“And you think I have?”

“No, but you started it.”

“I started it? You got me pregnant.”

“You threw away the condom!” Ben laughed, in no way regretting the path that got them here. 

“So,” Armie said unapologetically, “that makes it your turn then. Come on, Alpha, how are you gonna knock me up next time?”

Ben was seriously tempted to book at flight home anyway, just so he could have this conversation in person. Being away from his Omega right now felt wrong.

Armie had told him not to come home right now, and he would do as he was told, but... sleep and international call rates be damned. Ben would stay on the phone with him all night if he could. 

* * *

Armitage yawned and stared at the sunbeams reflecting off the water glass on the bedside table.

He was so tired.

The two hours of phone sex had seemed like a good idea at the time. It probably had been a good idea, since the alternative had been sitting up all night worrying, but that was hard to see right now. 

He’d fallen asleep before he could clean up, which meant his belly itched from the dried cum on his skin, and the shower was all the way on the other side of the room. He did not want to get up. Not that he had a choice. He’d have to have a shower before he put fresh clothes on and he’d have to do it soon because he could hear fussing from the next room. 

No one was crying yet- the girls usually played for a while in the mornings, apparently delighted to see one another again- but it was only a matter of time before someone realised they were hungry. 

As fun as the fantasy had been there was no way he was getting pregnant again any time soon. 

He should probably get that tattooed on his eyelids so he didn’t give in as soon as he had his first heat again. Or before it. 

His brain offered up the memory of the day Ben came back to him, and somewhere beyond the mound of his bump he felt his cock stir in interest.

“Urgh. Why are you like this?” He asked himself. “Right. Cold shower. Now.”

Despite his firmly delivered order his body remained in bed. 

“Come on.” He muttered. 

From somewhere amongst the sheets his phone beeped it’s message tone. 

**Leia Organa:** making good time, we’ll be there in half an hour.

“Oh shiiiit.”Armitage hauled himself out of bed and waddled to the bathroom as fast as his belly would allow. 

He’d completely forgotten about the in-laws visit for the twins’ birthday. And the fact that he’d be dealing with them on his own for a day and a half until Ben got home.

* * *

“Papa!!” Kyla shouted, throwing her little arms wide with delight as soon as Ben stepped through the front door.

He couldn’t help grinning when she toddled awkwardly across the tiles of the hall, while behind her Benja made it two steps before she gave up and threw herself down into a crawl. Clearly speed was more important than technique as far as Benja was concerned. 

To make it fair he dropped to a knee and caught them both up a hug together. 

In the living room Leia made a happy choked up sound. Ben almost didn’t hear it over the sound from the office of Armie bickering with Han.

“You can’t just… you cannot bypass that system, I am telling you-”

“And I’m telling you that  _ you can _ because  _ I have _ .” Han drawled with all the nonchalance of a man who did five foolish things before breakfast.

“Then I don’t know how you’re not dead!”

Ben wondered if he could get away with just turning around and leaving again. 

“Don’t you dare.” Dopheld said with a warning shake of his finger. He had the put upon look of anyone dealing with Armie in a mood and Han at his worst. It wasn’t a good look. It told of suffering in someone’s future. Probably Ben’s. 

Who had thought it was a good idea to bring another Alpha and a clueless Beta into a heavily pregnant Omega’s house? Oh yeah, Ben’s idea. 

Ben was definitely going to pay.

* * *

The best thing about a first birthday party was that guests of honour were asleep by seven and didn’t care than there had only been five guests other than their parents.

There had been shiny paper to tear up and try to eat; there had been shiny presents to play with and also try to eat; and there had been cake which no one had taken away when they tried to eat it. Then there had been a bath- because cake was as much fun to wear as it was to eat- but the grandparents had happily handled that and now their parents could have a chance to rest.

Armitage was laid out on the sofa, his head on Dopheld’s knee and his feet in Ben’s lap, half heartedly trying to stay awake for the sake of their guests. If his back hadn’t been aching from being on his feet all day he’d probably be asleep already.

They had four perfectly good armchairs in the living room but Thanisson insisted on sitting in Matt’s lap. Leia kept giving him a look that was probably supposed to embarrass him into decorum but only because she didn’t know he was immune to embarrassment.  

“We’re gonna have to miss the holidays this year,” Han was saying. “Leia’s calendar is full but we’ll be in London for the first week of December, so hopefully we’ll be able to see the new baby before we fly back.”

“The baby is due on the fourth,” Ben said, running his hand over Armitage’s bump just lightly enough to make him shiver at the tickle, “so, fingers crossed.”

Armitage moved his hand to a more comfortable position. “I don’t know,” he said, “the girls were pretty late.”

“First’s usually are,” Dopheld added helpfully. “My brother after me was nearly two months early.”

“Don’t you give them any ideas.” 

“Do you have any plans for Christmas?” Thanisson asked. 

“That’s your ‘I have an idea and I’m going to volunteer you for it’ tone,” Dopheld said mildly. 

“I’m hurt and offended by your implication,” Thanisson said. “But, since you mention it...”

Armitage sighed and covered his eyes. “Out with it.”

“Well, you’ve not had a housewarming party yet, and you’ll have a new baby to introduce to everyone, and everyone at uni will be going home for Christmas, so you could have one of those mid-December parties like we used to. You know where everyone brings food and booze and board games-”

“You hate board games and you can’t drink.”

“No, but I love gossip and parties where everyone else is drinking are the best for gossip.”

“I’m not having a lot drunk people in my house. Not with three babies.” Ben said. There was enough Alpha in his tone to make it clear he wouldn’t negotiate on this. 

“Fine, make it a daytime thing and we can have a select few over to ours for the after party.”

“Oh god, I’m tired just thinking about it.” Armitage said, fighting back a yawn and somehow pulling a muscle in his diaphragm in the process. He sat up sharply to rub at it. 

“You okay?” Dopheld asked.

“Yeah,” he laughed, “I can’t even yawn now without everything going weird.”

Sitting up hadn’t helped much, so he stood and stretched, and instantly felt exhausted.

“Folks, I’m sorry, it’s been a great day, but if I don’t go to bed now I’m going to fall asleep right here. So, thanks for coming, if you want keep hanging out with Dopheld then feel free but I’m going to have to get my Mate to take me up to bed.”

Thanisson wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Armitage shook his head in mock despair. “Stop it!”

He heard Ben chuckle low behind him but didn’t turn to look just in case it set off his libido again. He’d been on a hair trigger ever since he’d called Ben and he didn’t want to react while his in-laws were right there. They didn’t need to know that much about his sex life.

As they started up the stairs Ben wrapped a supportive arm around his waist and almost instantly he felt his underwear get damp. Well, he’d made it out of the room at least. 

Shaking his head at his own ridiculous reactions he leaned on Ben and let him do most of the work of getting to the attic while he enjoyed breathing in his Mate’s scent. 

* * *

Something was happening. Something  _ important _ . Ben woke with that thought already flashing across his mind. He reached out for Armie where he usually slept curled up in front of him, but the space was empty.

A floorboard creaked. And again. And again. 

“Armie?” He whispered, unwilling to startle his Mate in the dark.

The response was a whimpering ‘hmm?’ and the rhythmic sound of footsteps across the floor.

“Armie, are you okay?”

Outside the clouds shifted enough to bathe the room in moonlight. The floorboards were creaking because Armie was pacing in a narrow circuit around the floor. He still wore one of Ben’s old t-shirts, but his legs and ass were clearly bare and shiny in the moonlight. Too shiny.

“Did… did your water break?” Ben asked, already worried that he wouldn’t hear the reply over the thundering of his own heart. 

It was five weeks early.

“Ye,” Armie said, still pacing. He had his arms wrapped around his chest, but whether that was against the cold or the pain Ben couldn’t tell.

“How long?”

“‘bout an hour.”

Ben glanced around the room, checking for the millionth time on the supplies they’d laid out weeks ago. Everything was where it should be, and the emergency bag was by the door.

He didn’t bother asking why Armie hadn’t woken him- he knew that Omegas worked on instinct at this stage and would do whatever they needed to do. “What do you need?”

“Talk to me?” Armie suggested. His voice was strained but quiet. “About anything at all, just distract me. Please.”

“Okay...” Ben said, mind suddenly empty of everything except ‘oh my god it’s happening’. After a second his brain glitched to how they’d met and everything he’d loved about Armie back in those days. “What about I tell you my idea for a new D&D campaign?”

“Thought you didn’t want to DM?” Armie asked. He winced as he turned at the door to continue his pacing but at least he was looking at Ben now.

“Well, I  _ am _ 22 now, time to hang up my cross bow and settle down, I’m just too old for advent-”

Armie cut him off with the wobbly laugh of a 27 year old in pain. “Fuck you.”

“Okay, okay, I just got this idea from the inflight movie coming back from Stavanger,” Ben said.

While he spoke he retrieved his phone and sent Dopheld a quick ‘baby is coming’ text. The reply was so fast Ben wondered if Dopheld had sensed it or just heard the floorboards- ‘need me?’ He replied ‘not yet’. Downstairs he heard the quiet sounds of Dopheld walking around. Clearly the other Omega had never gone to bed.

“You know in movies when someone has their memory wiped or gets amnesia, and someone else tells them what’s going on?” He went on. “And they always trust that person instead of going to hospital?”

Armie nodded. It felt so weird to be having this mundane conversation while Armie was in labour only a few feet away, but he was a good Alpha and he’d do whatever his Mate wanted.

“Okay well. This game starts with the players waking up in a dungeon. They don’t have any memories, at all. So no character sheets, no pre game development, the DM does all of that.” Ben licked his lips, anxious at the way Armie was moving, but doing his best to say calm. “All the players get is their inventory. So like- player A wakes up with a magical staff, B has two swords, C has a bag full of healers ingredients, etc. The DM is playing an NPC guide who was hired to lead them through the dungeon and managed to avoid whatever trap erased their memory. The guide can only tell them basic info since he only met them a few hours ago.”

“So people work out their skills through trial and error?” Armie asked as he wriggled out of his shirt and threw it to the floor. 

Ben almost forgot to answer because he was too focused on the way Armie’s belly was rippling. His bump was a totally different shape even. 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He finally said when Armie turned around to pace away from him. Even his back muscles were shifting. That had to hurt but he wasn’t making a noise. Ben almost choked on a rising tide of pride for his Mate. “Sorry, yeah, so player D has thieves tools and this door is locked- guess you have to roll to see if you’re proficient or not. You’ve got that sword but maybe you’re better at hand to hand, too late here comes an angry ogre, choose wisely. But here’s the twist. And you gotta promise you won’t spoil it if we ever actually play this.”

The noise Armie made might have been a laugh. “Babe, I doubt I’ll remember but I promise.”

“The NPC guide is the bad guy. And he’s fucking with the players.” Ben said with a grin. “The dude with the sword isn’t a fighter. The guy with the magical staff has never cast a spell. He’s lied to everyone. So what the players actually need to do is work out their  _ real _ classes and realise they’re all being played by the bad guy.”

Armie walked carefully back to him and wrapped his arms around his neck where he sat on the bed. “That’s genius.”

“Thank you.”

“I think I need you to help me deliver this baby now though.” Armie said the words as quietly as everything else but they cut through Ben’s thoughts like a fog horn.

“Oh, shit, yes, sure, where, what, fuck…”

There was that almost laugh again. Armie tightened his grip on Ben’s neck and breathing deep managed to give his instructions clearly enough. 

“Lift me up onto the bed,” he said. “Then kneel over there. Sit back on your heels with your knees spread. I’m gonna sit across your thighs.”

Ben did as he was told, easily lifting his Mate’s skinny frame and holding him close while they shuffled into place. 

Armie was drenched in sweat, trembling almost continuously, and entirely silent. There wasn’t much Ben could do but hold him close, rub his back, and let him bury his nose in his hair. He felt the next contraction against his own abs where they were pressed together. The panting against his skin intensified for a minute, crested with an abrupt in-breath, then a huge exhale that made him shiver. After a moment Armie adjusted his position slightly and pulled himself closer.

“Can you… can you just feel between my legs please?” He murmured shyly, like Ben hadn’t had his face down there most nights they were together for the last few months.

The skin was hot and stretched taut but Ben didn’t feel much difference. He shifted his fingers forward, trying to find the slit he knew was there. 

Armie mewled as he bore down against the touch. 

Ben had never felt anything so intimate as when the skin parted and his fingertips slipped inside. The thought that even Armie hadn’t touched this place made his head spin in a way he couldn’t describe, but then he brushed against something solid.

“About an inch to go, sweetheart, you’re doing great,” he murmured, instinctively spreading his fingers and carefully stretching his skin just as he would if he was prepping Armie’s ass outside of a heat. Apparently that was the right choice- Armie was soon gasping and wriggling down in encouragement.

The next contraction was a big one. Armie’s nails sank into the flesh of his back as his whole body tightened. Against Ben’s neck Armie was almost sobbing with effort. 

“If you need to bite me then bite me.” Ben urged. He could feel that Armie’s teeth were clenched, pressed against his skin so tight that his jaw was shaking.

A few stuttering gasps, one great inhale and then Armie’s teeth sank into his shoulder as he pushed. 

Ignoring his own pain Ben shifted his free hand to Armie’s belly, rubbing in firm downward circles while between his legs his fingers eased the way for the baby’s head.

It stopped. 

Armie growled in frustration.

“One more, you’re doing so good,” Ben said, rubbing his hands over every inch of his Mate that he could reach while they waited for the next contraction.

“I can’t.” The words were muffled by Ben’s skin. 

“Yeah you can,” Ben replied instantly. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. You did this all by yourself last time, remember?”

The noise Armie made was disbelieving, but he pressed closer with a needy whimper.

“You’re the best Omega any Alpha could ever ask for,” Ben went on, knowing how much Armie needed praise in his life and hoping it would help. “You did so much for our daughters when I couldn’t be there, birthed them alone, gave them the best start possible. They’re so clever Armie, and you’re doing so much while I’m away. You’ve got a doctorate now! Smarter than I’ll ever be, making the world a better place. And as soon as this baby is out of you I know you’ll give them a wonderful life. Because that’s what you’ve done for all of us.”

He turned his head enough to press their faces together and drop kisses around his lips.

“I love you. So so much.” Ben went on as Armie tensed again. “You’ve made my life complete. I never thought, I never even  _ imagined _ I could ever be this happy.”

Armie opened his mouth to reply but all he managed was a long soft moan.

In one sudden rush the baby’s head slipped into his hand. Ben awkwardly pushed his other hand between their hips just in time to catch the shoulders and the rest of that tiny slippery body.

“Hello, baby,” Ben said quietly while Armie gave a happy sob against his shoulder.

There was a difficult moment of rearranging bodies that the baby accompanied with its first little cries and then under Armie’s direction the baby was in his arms. 

“So small!” He glanced down. “ _ She’s _ so small! Hello, beautiful! Welcome to the world!”

* * *

“Hi, baby,” Armitage said. He was pleased that his voice sounded happy despite the strain as his body dealt with the last processes of the birth. She deserved a loving welcome.

He reached out to rub her belly, feeling for the moment when the cord stopped twitching and she could be safely separated from him. 

Traditionally Alphas bit the cord if they were there, though Armitage was willing to do it if Ben proved squeamish. He hadn’t even thought about it with the twins. He’d delivered them in the kitchen with all kinds of cutting devices but instinctively he’d used his teeth. The healing factor common to Alphas and Omegas was a wonderful thing. 

That thought reminded him of the bite he’d inflicted to Ben’s shoulder. He looked up, feeling guilty and concerned, but the wound wasn’t bleeding much. Leaning closer he realised he’d somehow bitten right over Ben’s claim mark, over the scar tissue. He licked it anyway.

“Sorry.”

Ben shrugged. He’d yet to look up- he was totally besotted with the baby he was holding in his arms. “I hardly noticed. And it’s nothing compared to what you went through.”

“Thank you,” Armitage said, kissing up his neck to his cheek.

“For what? You did all the work!”

“For being here. It probably didn’t seem like it but just having you here made it easier. Being able to breathe in your scent and know I was safe.” 

“Where else would I be?” Ben laughed.

He opened his mouth to reply then paused, turning away to discreetly deal with the afterbirth, his body clearly determined to ruin a sweet moment. When he turned back the baby was free of her cord and rooting around at Ben’s chest.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he said with a laugh. “There’s no milk in there, it’s all false advertising.”

It felt good to settle back amongst the pillows at last and finally rest his aching knees. Ben had handed her over easily enough, but he kept hold of her fingers while Armitage got her to the right position.

They were all horribly sticky, and at least some of the sheets would have to be disposed of, but for now he didn’t care.

“Armie?” Ben asked once he’d wriggled into place beside him and covered both of them with the edge of one of the less ruined sheets. “Did you think about a name at all?”

He hadn’t. “I think I used up all my naming creativity on the twins,” he said. “I mean, my D&D character is called ‘Techie’, I’m hardly imaginative.”

“I was going to suggest Anakin, after my grandfather, if she’d been a boy,” Ben murmured. He still had her hand gripping his little finger, but now he was stroking her cheek with his thumb too. “But she isn’t, so, I uh, did some research. Well, sort of. I hope you don’t mind.”

Armitage frowned. He was far too tired for this foolishness. “Mind what?”

“I spoke to some people in Dublin while I was on that shoot and... your mum’s name is pronounced ‘EE-fe’, a bit like Eva with an f. It means radiant. If you’re interested.”

The baby let go of his chest and hiccuped. 

“Is your name Aoife?” Armie asked her.

She yawned and snuggled closer.

“I think that’s a yes,” he said to Ben as he moved her to his shoulder. “What about middle names? Should it be Leia, since we’re naming her for my mum?”

Ben shook his head. “If we have another girl I’d like to call her Padme but I just can’t imagine running through a park shouting the name Leia when I have to fullname her for being naughty. I did have an idea though.”

“You’re never going to be naughty are you, darling?” Armitage asked his daughter as he rubbed her back. 

As if in answer she gave a massive burp.

“Okay,” Ben said, “that settles it, my idea is perfect.”

* * *

**Bean So So Low** : [image]

**Bean So So Low** : introducing Aoife [EE-fe] Phasma Solo, arrived at 11:52pm 24th October 2010, 7lb 2oz. Everyone is healthy. Yes she arrived on the same day as her sisters. I guess we’ll save money on birthday parties

**Bean So So Low** : I thought it was only fair to name her for you, since she wouldn’t exist without you

**Phasma** : OMG

**Bean So So Low** : on that note I want 20% of you salary for the next 18 years

**Phasma** : hahahahaha no

**Bean So So Low** : or you & your girl can visit for Christmas. My treat

**Phasma** : HELL YEAH!

**Bean So So Low** : Thank you for everything

**Phasma** : don’t you get sentimental on me

**Bean So So Low** : you let me have this or I cry on you at the airport

**Phasma** : fine

**Bean So So Low** : you’re the best. I’m sorry I was a dick. I owe you my life

**Phasma** : shut up dumbass. Just keep on living a good life

**Phasma** : and buy me a year’s worth of beer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible triggers in this chapter-   
> \- nightmare turned panic attack  
> \- fears about birth  
> \- a birth.


End file.
